Are these things really necessary to say in your profile?

[DigginIt 1,132]

Okay, so I was doing my weekly scan of new people in my area and I ran across a few new profiles and something stuck out as I read a few and that prompted me to go back and look at several others that I already know and I noticed a trend. That made a question pop to mind.

 

Is it necessary to put these statements in your profile such as...not into pain, water sports, scat, etc...

 

Is it to be assumed that swingers are so deviant that we have to preface these things in our profile to let them know we aren't? Am I so naive to believe that people into such activities are a very small subset and if anything, people should state if they ARE into them versus 'us' having to say that we are not?

 

What gives?

[Crosswords 92]

Is it necessary to put these statements in your profile such as...not into pain, water sports, scat, etc...

 

Is it to be assumed that swingers are so deviant that we have to preface these things in our profile to let them know we aren't. Am I so naive to believe that people into such activities are a very small subset and if anything, people should state if they ARE into them versus 'us' having to say that we are not?

 

What gives?

 

I always assumed those statements were included to indicate that you are into pretty much anything and everything else.

 

Mrs. C.

[Lionheart72 2,191]

My old college history prof once said that you don't make a law against something unless it is perceived to be a problem... obviously these folks have concerns that such things might be an issue and feel the need to say something. Maybe they've had a "bad experience" or heard of one or even just a rumor of one. If it's all folks in your area maybe they're something/someone in your area that you don't know about prompting this... whether it's someone who is into pain/watersports/scat/whatever or just someone talking about it a lot...

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We don't have those statements in our profile, and maybe we're just lucky, but no one has ever whipped it out and started pissing on us while brandishing a cat of nine tales during a play session.

 

So I'd say it's just a filler line to give the profile a fuller look.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I completely agree with you. We don't say any of that stuff in our profile. But here is a little story about why some people might feel they have to list such things.

 

Once I was chatting with someone on sls. I asked something like, what are your rules? They replied, "No kids, no pets, no potty and nothing illegal."

 

I wrote back, "Obviously..."

 

Then they told me a story about going to a couple's house and the hosts wanting the girls to have sex with their dogs!!

 

Interestingly, the host couple was someone I had talked to before. I turned them down because they wanted us to come over with our kids so we could swap babysitting downstairs while we swapped partners upstairs.

[Alura 2,775]

While it probably is unnecessary to say these things, good communication is complete communication. Where should one draw the line?

 

Alura

[DigginIt 1,132]

We don't have those statements in our profile, and maybe we're just lucky, but no one has ever whipped it out and started pissing on us while brandishing a cat of nine tales during a play session.

 

OMG, that is so funny!

 

 

Then they told me a story about going to a couple's house and the hosts wanting the girls to have sex with their dogs!!

 

Interestingly, the host couple was someone I had talked to before. I turned them down because they wanted us to come over with our kids so we could swap babysitting downstairs while we swapped partners upstairs.

 

OMG, that is so scary!

[CuriousNJCouple 38]

Put the ground rules out in the beginning, I guess. What's the old adage, "Better safe than sorry." You can't be too careful.

[rainbowskye 102]

It could be there based on experiences they have had meeting people.

 

When we were looking for a single male a while back....i found a lot of crazy single males to the point I blocked single males. I had them asking about water sports....scat and crossdressing just to name a few.

 

One guy was so creepy that I was grateful I saw his pic and he never saw mine. I ran into him at a club before and it was great to have a heads up.

[Lionheart72 2,191]

Then they told me a story about going to a couple's house and the hosts wanting the girls to have sex with their dogs!!

 

Interestingly, the host couple was someone I had talked to before. I turned them down because they wanted us to come over with our kids so we could swap babysitting downstairs while we swapped partners upstairs.

 

... and this, I think, is why I'm glad we swing at clubs...

[DigginIt 1,132]

One guy was so creepy that I was grateful I saw his pic and he never saw mine. I ran into him at a club before and it was great to have a heads up.

 

What is scarier is that he may be playing with other people you play with...

[DigginIt 1,132]

... and this, I think, is why I'm glad we swing at clubs...

 

Yea, but then after you sleep with them...that's when it comes out. Hey, want to come home and meet my two labs. They're awesome

[rainbowskye 102]

What is scarier is that he may be playing with other people you play with...

 

That thought alone makes me sick. I am out of commission right now boohoo .

 

It is a small world . I did share the info with a few ppl but you never really know what someone else is really into.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I always figured that certain things were added to profiles because of experience...

i.e. "no drama" - because they'd encountered it (whether or not they caused it)/

"no pain" - someone pulled out the whips or started with some spanking in the middle of sex.

"no scat, watersports" - someone asked (at least I hope that's as close as it got).

"no children, no pets" - they ran across some really deviant creep online.

 

However, after reading this thread, I'm wondering if the reality isn't more that people do what they see. While they've never encountered these things personally, they see it in someone else's profile and basically just copy, paste & edit it to fit themselves. I can't help but think that this is how a large portion of profiles get created, so it makes sense that you'd see a lot of the same key elements repeated.

[Chicup 42]

I once had a woman spank me HARD.

 

NOT my thing, so I suppose maybe 'no pain' would have come in handy there.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I once had a woman spank me HARD.

 

NOT my thing, so I suppose maybe 'no pain' would have come in handy there.

 

You must have been very bad

[angelkin 1,326]

We put some of those things in our profile - partly because we saw others do it - but mostly because we want to be clear where our limits are.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I think even if you list rules in your profile you shouldn't expect that your new partner will remember it from reading it online. It's always best to discuss in person before playing.

 

My husband also got spanked really hard one time. I'm pretty sure the girl was functionally illiterate, so no pain on the profile probably wouldn't have made a difference.

[tallicafan 41]

I once had a woman spank me HARD.

 

NOT my thing, so I suppose maybe 'no pain' would have come in handy there.

 

I got bitten on the chest by a beautiful woman at a halloween party that damn near broke the skin. It left a mark/bruise for 2 weeks! Saw her again at a NYE party and my wife teased her about it and she had no recollection of doing it.

[angelkin 1,326]

I got bitten on the chest by a beautiful woman at a halloween party that damn near broke the skin. It left a mark/bruise for 2 weeks! Saw her again at a NYE party and my wife teased her about it and she had no recollection of doing it.

 

I am guilty of biting Hope it wasn't me lol

[tallicafan 41]

I am guilty of biting Hope it wasn't me lol

 

While your picture is quite striking, I don't think you were the sexy vixen who almost took a chunk out me.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I think even if you list rules in your profile you shouldn't expect that your new partner will remember it from reading it online. It's always best to discuss in person before playing.

A very good point.

 

My husband also got spanked really hard one time. I'm pretty sure the girl was functionally illiterate, so no pain on the profile probably wouldn't have made a difference.

 

"M-O-O-N, that spells pain. Laws yes!"

 

(hopefully not obscure)

[Alura 2,775]

 

 

"M-O-O-N, that spells pain. Laws yes!"

 

(hopefully not obscure)

 

 

Huh?

 

Alura

[Dont.Stop 339]

I'm always amused/annoyed at the legal-sounding tagline about not granting permission for educational institutions to copy, blah blah blah.

 

A very good point.

 

 

 

"M-O-O-N, that spells pain. Laws yes!"

 

(hopefully not obscure)

 

From The Stand, is it not?

[DigginIt 1,132]

OMG, I finally get it

[two4youinswva 3,068]

From The Stand, is it not?

 

Thanks for bailing me out.

[Playful1 434]

actually bdsm, at least so far as some mild pain, etc. is not that horribly rare. in fact, a good number of swingers i know are into bdsm to some extent. usually mildly, but some more so.

 

and really...i dont care if someone spends a sentence saying the limits they have. i'd say, if you 100% are not into that stuff, or, are, but not into doing it with swinger partners, then yes, no reason not to add it to the profile

[PB&J 1,086]

What I think is funny is that the couple who all by themselves have caused more drama in our swinging life than all the rest put together (and no, we are no longer seeing them) have recently added to their profile " We totally are NOT into drama".

[DigginIt 1,132]

What I think is funny is that the couple who all by themselves have caused more drama in our swinging life than all the rest put together (and no, we are no longer seeing them) have recently added to their profile " We totally are NOT into drama".

 

 

I joke that my wife and I are the two least drama people in the lifestyle, our problem is we like to gossip and talk behind peoples back.

 

I"M JUST KIDDING. :lol:

[two4youinswva 3,068]

What I think is funny is that the couple who all by themselves have caused more drama in our swinging life than all the rest put together (and no, we are no longer seeing them) have recently added to their profile " We totally are NOT into drama".

 

They never, ever realize that it's them and not us, do they?

We don't do a lot of ad shopping, but when we do, the "No drama" line is coming really close to being a red flag for us.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I wonder sometimes if people know what drama really is? Maybe our definition of drama is fucked up.

 

I think too many people think that drama is anything done/displayed/said between another couple that makes the other couple uncomfortable such as arguing, jealousy, etc.

 

I don't think they recognized that the gossiping, bitchiness towards others, the GAMES, OMG, the games they play is also drama.

 

Also, too much personal detail...we are not in a relationship. We are not your psychologist. We don't want to know. If you wouldn't share it with your vanilla friends, don't share it with us. Just because we are sleeping with each other, doesn't mean I want to know what your mom, relative, coworker is doing to another relative, friend, coworker...unless it's funny. Then by all means, share.

[PB&J 1,086]

They never, ever realize that it's them and not us, do they?

 

And if there was any doubt that it was them and not us... they sent an email saying that they never wanted to see me again, because I had been "so rude" to her, but PB was welcome to come on over any time. And when we didn't respond to that email, they sent PB a text to renew the invitation.

[appliancesex 66]

We've gotten used to seeing them all over the place. I thought it would be funny to mention instead on our profile that we don't like dressing up as cartoon characters and we frown on vorarephilia.

 

I think that about sums up everything.

[DigginIt 1,132]

We've gotten used to seeing them all over the place. I thought it would be funny to mention instead on our profile that we don't like dressing up as cartoon characters and we frown on vorarephilia.

 

I think that about sums up everything.

 

That's just wrong.