What should we expect on our first visit to a "lifestyle" club?

[New2This1975 15]

My girlfriend and I have been curious about the "lifestyle" for the past few years. We made the decision to take the first step and visit a local swing club this weekend. We have been discussing our limits for quite some time and decided for our first visit we are only going to have sex with one another. We have been researching "first time" stories and have found that they differ quite a bit. We decided to leave this thread to hopefully have a dialogue with those already in the lifestyle who can give us some advice on what we should expect. We would also appreciate any advice that anyone can offer. We are very excited about our upcoming visit and are trying to learn as much as possible before then. Thanks!

[km34 672]

I've been to one club in the Indy area and LOVED it! We went a few times before moving.

 

In my experience, it was really laid back. They served dinner there, so people would tend to show up around the time they would put food out or shortly thereafter and just eat and chitchat for a while. After that the DJ would play some special songs to get people to dance and mingle some more. There was one woman who was there every time I went and had her boobs out within the first hour and a half. Other women (myself included ) would soon follow, and people would come and go from the back play area throughout the night. Some stuff would happen in the main area, but not too much really. Usually a low key blow job or something like that, but nothing more that I ever saw. I know it happens, but most people try to keep it to designated play areas so anyone who is new or not in the mood to watch has a "safe area."

 

Everyone is generally respectful and friendly, but sometimes you have to make your own opportunities. Don't be afraid to ask someone to dance, see if you can join them at their table, etc. No means no, obviously, and I've never seen anyone have an issue with people being offended or creepy or anything like that after being told that another was not interested.

 

You should expect a ton of fun! I can't wait to get a club around here.

[slevin 1,374]

There was one woman who was there every time I went and had her boobs out within the first hour and a half. Other women (myself included ) would soon follow

 

You sound like someone fun to go to clubs with

 

The club we've been to here in Toronto is mostly like a night club. DJ, dancefloor, people drinking, dancing etc. Much like km's club eventually some of the women take their tops off, or get naked. The on-premise part of the club is on a different floor and not everyone goes there. The sex happens only in the on-premise part, so in the normal club you just see dancing, flirting, dirty dancing, a bit of nudity etc.

 

In the on-premise part you'll see everything from couples having sex just themselves to large piles of people getting it on. Not to mention everything in between. Our experience has been that "no means no" and people ask before touching/joining. Everyone was very respectful every time we've been.

 

Best plan is to contact the people who run the club/party you are thinking of attending and asking what to expect. You may also want to ask if they can give you a tour when you arrive. Many clubs take new folks around if they show up early enough. Give them a tour of the place, explain what to expect, and try to make them feel comfortable/welcome.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

The first time we went to a club was actually one not far from Indy (Anderson, actually). It was OK.

 

I remember we paid at the front desk and were given a tour of the place and told the rules (Pretty basic: no means no, don't touch without asking... that kind of thing.) The club had some tables to sit at, a DJ and dance floor, some pool tables. We hung out, played pool with another couple for a while. I remember the club had a sort of "get to know you" dance where you got up on the dancefloor and had to change dance partners whenever the music stopped, which was often.

 

In the end, it was a bust because neither of us was really comfortable enough...

 

Neither of us really knew what the heck we were doing, what we wanted, what the other person wanted or how far it was ok for us to go. I don't think we hooked up that first time but a couple of times when we went back, we did. It was a disaster. We hooked up with couples we weren't interested in because we thought the other was. We both "took one for the team" and neither of us had fun. But we learned... we got better about communicating, about being clearer about our desires, our interests and our guidelines. Now, we go to clubs and we have fun.

[New2This1975 15]

We would like to thank everyone for the input. Being "newbies" we are still a little curious about the little things. We don't want to seem out of place or make people think that we don't belong. We are both curious about our wardrobe. I know it sounds a little silly but we are curious about what we should wear. We do not want to look like fish out of the water. The club we will be attending has a dinner before hand which we are comfortable with. The question is what kind of attire to couples typically wear once things move to the back room?

[angelkin 1,326]

Sounds like you've got some feedback about what to expect...as far as what to wear, most of the clubs say "dress to impress". That statement is open to a wide intepretation. I'd recommend wearing what you're comfortable in. I (the Mrs.) wear a nice pair of tight jeans, a low cut blouse, and sexy shoes when arriving at the club. Mr. wears jeans and a button down shirt, and dress shoes. Later in the evening, I might change into some lingerie - usually a corset and thigh-high stockings. Many of the ladies will just end up naked.

 

It might be easier for you to attend on a theme night, then you don't have to decide what to wear necessarily. You can always rock the Naughty Schoolgirl on any night if you wanted:)

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I'd recommend wearing what you're comfortable in.

Agreed. Nice, but comfortable and you'll be fine. You'll see the full spectrum of clothing most nights, so wear what makes you feel sexy and at ease with yourself.

You can always rock the Naughty Schoolgirl on any night if you wanted:)

Quoted for great truth.

[junglecouple 127]

We would like to thank everyone for the input. Being "newbies" we are still a little curious about the little things. We don't want to seem out of place or make people think that we don't belong. We are both curious about our wardrobe. I know it sounds a little silly but we are curious about what we should wear. We do not want to look like fish out of the water. The club we will be attending has a dinner before hand which we are comfortable with. The question is what kind of attire to couples typically wear once things move to the back room?

 

At our place, guests were told to dress as if they were going out to a nice dinner club. (NO jeans, NO t-shirts, cutoffs, shorts) Once on the property, dress as you like. We had a large number of assorted house coats. (ya don't was naked asses sitting on your furniture) In all bathroom we had basket of douches, in all play areas we also furnished small baskets of condoms (free at any planned parenthood center, but we bought them at the grocery, it was fun watching the checkers expression when we would buy 2-4# of boiled shrimp, 3-4 large snack trays, and 30-40 boxes of douche, 4-5 dozen condoms).

 

If a guest arrived dressed inappropriately (jeans/shorts) they were given a choice... go home and change, or come in and immediately get a robe.

[km34 672]

I think women generally wear sexy jeans and a top or dresses. Unless there is a theme and they dress to that. Heels are always a plus, but I've seen women wear any nice shoe including dressy looking sandals or flip flops.

 

Men generally wear nice jeans or slacks and a button down shirt. A nice polo or something like that would probably work, too. Nice shoes that go well with the pants - I wouldn't go with tennis shoes, but I suppose if they are nice designer looking things that are clean they wouldn't be bad.

[New2This1975 15]

Thanks again to everyone for the great advice! We are less than 24 hours from our first party and to say that we are excited would be a massive understatement. We are going to go shopping tomorrow and buy her some sexy new lingerie and make sure that we are dressed to impress.

[Desdemona1980 297]

Walk in with no expectations and have a great time! I wore a comfortable little black dress and shoes I could dance in.

 

The club was laid back and the people were very nice. It was very overwhelming at first because I went alone as a single female. I did not play or have sex the first time, I just went to get a feel for everything.

 

I had a fantastic time and I've gone a few times since and each time I've played and expanded my boundaries. The sexual experiences have been good and not so good.

[bigdandlola12 16]

Walk in with no expectations and have a great time!

 

 

Well said Desdemona1980. Our first experience we expected it to be an awesome place. The website was fabulous and we were excited. The cost was a bit much but we were wanting to have a good time. We got there and it was nothing like the website said. We did nothing paid 60.00 and walked out in 30min. Even though we literally did nothing we still feel like we were F****d. Then just recently we went to a club in Tampa (eyzwide). We went there with no expectation and it was by far the best time we have had in a club scene. We fit in and felt very welcomed. Have fun...

[Midwest1991 15]

Thanks again to everyone for the great advice! We are less than 24 hours from our first party and to say that we are excited would be a massive understatement. We are going to go shopping tomorrow and buy her some sexy new lingerie and make sure that we are dressed to impress.

 

How was it??? We are new too and will be visiting for the first time in the next few weeks. We are actually south of indy and was planning on attending the Anderson location. I appreciate any feedabck or advice...

[akdreddog24 17]

we just went to our first club and as im sure everyone was we were nervous but the ladies at the front door made us feel welcome and the gentleman who gave us the tour put us at ease. We had zero expectations but to just have fun. We set up 2 signals 1 to leave if were not having fun we dont do the take one for the team and 2 its ok go have fun ill follow and join. In the end we had a great time and did not really play wife had some glory hole fun when they left this poor guy standing there. Our next time cannot come soon enough