Who makes the first move in swinging and how?

[curious24 17]

So I was thinking tonight how do you all make the first move and how? Say you are out with another couple and you go back to some place to play how do things get started? does everyone just jump right to it and strip down? is there foreplay involved?

 

i'm assuming it's different for first timers vs long timers.. so i'm really interested in knowing who makes the first move? is it the women or the men? how do you make the first move? just jump the person or make a more slow sly move?

 

[bear_n_bunny 43]

I'd like to know the answer as well. I've asked experienced swingers and to sum up thier answer "it's different." Now I'm new to the lifestyle so everyone is waiting for me to be ready. Last weekend I was indeed interested in getting started playing but no one brought it up and I didn't want to breach unspoken swinger ettiquet. (Really, I was just too darn shy to make the first move.) Any way, I'd love to hear what you guys have to say.

 

-- Bunny

[EternallySingle 32]

I never make the first move unless its with a single female who is doing the coy eye contact thing or "accidentally" brushing her breasts against my arm thing. In any other situation, I casually mention that I'm either there to talk or there to play in the conversation and keep my eyes open to what everyone else, especially the women, do. It is up to everyone to make their intentions known so noone has to make a first move.

[aviancpl 15]

Order yourself a pair of the "dirty dice." They're a great icebreaker when you know there's mutual interest but nobody seems to want to move first. There are other variations on this (games like nooki, between the sheets, etc) if you're the type that wants to play for an hour before the clothes start coming off. We like the dice though, because they're simple, provide instant gratification (not the bad kind and are portable (you can take them to your local club).

[couple5251 15]

I have never seen those before, But looks like a must have item to us. It sounds like a lot of fun and would be a great way to get things started.facelick

[BiloxiCouple 695]

For us it's whoever gets naked first makes the first move.

 

Once you get to the hotel or the house, you know what you are there for!!!!

 

Hopefully any questions have been answered before you get to this point. No means no even here.

 

First timers -vs- long timers? You still know how to do IT:fun: So just do it:8-0::

[WildFlower 17]

The dirty dice game is good so are some adult version board games. I played one not to long ago I really liked where played cards kind of like poker and who won the round picked a card then picked a player to do the things written on the card. Got steamy real fast. Soon forget about card game and just let nature take its course.

[sweetcpl1 15]

Basically it depends on the crowd or the party you attended.

 

Every party/club/crowd is different for the level of soft or hard core swinging and most of the time you can recognize the situation as you attend the party or the play area.

 

Pretty much we are mature enough to decide if we like to just jump in, or still need more foreplay to warm up.

 

Then again most of the time it’s better for female partners break the ice with some soft foreplay and get the guys involved.

 

Hope this helped.

[Tncuple 21]

The first time we went to a swing party was just to look around and get a feel of things. We sat at a table and nursed a couple of drinks and finally got up to dance a little. It seemed everyone there already knew each other and we felt a little left out. We didn't even think anyone noticed us. After a while I got up to go to the john and 2 guys followed me in there. Both guys were interested in meeting us and introducing their wives to us. These were 2 separate couples that didn't know each other. They both said that since we were sitting by ourselves they didn't know if we were just voyeurs or were there to actually make contact with other couples.

 

I guess if you do want to play you have to act like it;) .

 

Once we finally did meet a couple we wanted to play with we went to their house (after meeting at a restaurant first) ,we all knew what we were there for so as soon as the woman came over and sat on my lap it was full speed ahead.

[coolwetbreeze 15]

This is a great question...

 

I've noticed that every time we've gotten together with someone after we wind up at the house, hotel or where ever , that we will sit around and talk until the cows come home if I didn't finally just get up and say "soooo...Let's do this" as I walk away taking my shirt off. That usually gets everyone moving.

 

He would prefer I go into the room and change into something slutty, come back into the living room and lay on the coffee table spread eagle. I figure this would only work with single men and we don't do the single guy thing too often.

 

We've never tried any games. Each situation is different and if you are comfortable enough to go rub up against the other guy or girl I say go for it. My preference is to start with my guy and then reach out to the other(s).

 

I'm sure in most situations the women are the ones that need to start things moving.

[Vjklander 138]

I think the erotic dice are a great way to start, have used them many times. If at a house, I think the host should take the responsibility to get things started. Well, geez, I guess it all depends...

[thump29 16]

We usually start out with a erotic board game or a game of strip poker but usually it has been already decided that we are going to play before we do. I usually get things started myself, but it just depends on the situation at the time.

[austxmark 41]

Well, in my usual forthright way we ask. When we are all out somewhere and decide to go back to the hotel or our place or whereever, when we get to the place and are all sitting around wondering whos gonna start, I ask the other cpl a question. I say ok..are you guys interested in playing? The answer is, of course, yes..after all we know why we are all there. So I get up and take the other ladies hand and pull her toward me and kiss her..after that its all easy.

[couplegone2wild 15]

Ok, here's the problem. We do fine until it's time to, well, start the fun. We can't get in sync when we feel the right time is to start a move to the bedroom (couch is not fun friendly).

 

I guess its more my problem then for Mr. I want to be REALLY sure the other(s) is/are into it and ready.

 

What kind of signals should we give and what kind should I look for? Or should I be blunt and say well I'm off to the bedroom now, hope to see you there?

[TNT 1,155]

Originally posted by couplegone2wild

Or should i be blunt and say well I'm off to the bedroom now, hope to see you there?

 

Well, that approach has worked for us very well...I get very impatient at times when I'm wanting to play, so being blunt has always gotten me what I wanted.

 

Don't discount the couch as a starting place as well...like you I always thought of it as very uncomfortable. That was up until this past weekend when I was shown differently, lol...it made a very good starting place for the evenings activities.

 

 

Teresa

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

Since everyone is there for the same reason I say just bring it up.

 

Chances are everyone else is thinking the same thing.

 

Or go into the bedroom and come back out into the livingroom naked. If that doesnt get the point across nothing will.

[Brit_Pair 62]

Quote

Originally posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

Or go into the bedroom and come back out into the living room naked. If that doesn't get the point across nothing will.

I think even **we** would get the message at that point!

 

[Botcpl 15]

Message?!

 

All I see is a naked woman!

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

You could always do what the Mr. did last night and say 'so.....are we all going to get (naked)in the hottub or what?

 

He did. So we did. The rest is history.

[hmr 25]

Originally posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

Since everyone is there for the same reason I say just bring it up.

 

Chances are everyone else is thinking the same thing.

 

 

You could say something like ... 'Why are we all sitting here with our clothes on?.... Are we going to just talk all night, or what?'

 

Like TNT said, don't discount the sofa as a starting place. Sometimes it is a great place to break the ice!

 

mrs hmr;)

[good times 991]

I sometimes say something like,

 

I am now going to get naked and start some sexual exploration for your viewing pleasure, Audience participation is appreciated.

[TNT 1,155]

Originally posted by good times

I sometimes say something like,

 

I am now going to get naked and start some sexual exploration for your viewing pleasure, Audience participation is appreciated.

 

I LOVE THAT! Can I please use it ?

 

Teresa

[Brit_Pair 62]

Originally posted by good times

I sometimes say something like,

 

I am now going to get naked and start some sexual exploration for your viewing pleasure, Audience participation is appreciated.

Neat!

 

[couplegone2wild 15]

Quote

Originally posted by good times

I sometimes say something like,

 

I am now going to get naked and start some sexual exploration for your viewing pleasure, Audience participation is appreciated.

 

I love that!!

 

I will definitely remember that. Thanks

[Brit_Pair 62]

Quote

Originally posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

You could always do what the Mr. did last night and say 'so.....are we all going to get (naked)in the hot tub or what?

Hey! Stop rubbing it in for those of us without hot tubs!

 

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

It wasn't even our hot tub - it was THEIRS!!!! 

 

That is what we were all there for( to swing) but no one would bring it up.

 

So I figured what the hell, and broke the ice.

 

And that definitely did it!!