Swinger profiles - reading between the lines

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Statement: Available afternoons and some evenings with prior planning. Interpretation: The woman and I are married. Just not to each other.

 

Statement: Wife is a little shy: Interpretation: I've been pestering her about this lifestyle stuff for several years and I feel confident that you are the people who are going to perform some kind of magic and turn her into an unstoppable sex machine.

 

Statement: You can reach us at e-mail address abcxyz at whatever dot com. Interpretation 1: There is no “us” about it. I’m a married man whose wife has no idea I’m foolin' around at this Web site and the company network blocks it. Interpretation 2: We are too cheap to buy a membership and are consequently not able to post private pictures. So would you mind very terribly to chase us to Yahoo.

 

Statement: I like to watch while she . . . . Interpretation: My erection does not last long enough to do anything useful.

 

Statement: I really enjoy giving oral sex. Interpretation: My erection does not last long enough to do anything useful.

 

Statement: Looking to spice things up. Interpretation: We have no idea what this is all about.

 

Statement: Looking for adult activity. Interpretation: We have no idea what this is all about.

 

Statement: Respectful Interpretation: Boring

 

Statement: She’s a little shy until she has a few drinks. Interpretation: It would be a good idea to lock your liquor cabinet.

 

Statement: Both are available to play alone. Interpretation: The probability that the female will be the first to offer this is about a thousand to one.

 

Statement: Starting to think nobody really wants to play. Interpretation: They banned us from the Wal*Mart too.

 

Statement: We are not Ken and Barbie Interpretation: We’re Herman and Lili.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

LOL!! Very funny, and probably at least a little accurate.

 

Although you have made me rethink some of what we say on our profile.

 

She is shy! But swinging was her idea and she isn't shy in the bedroom, just doesn't talk much.

I am respectful! I don't think I am boring, God I hope not anyway.

I do like watching her, but I do like playing too and staying power hasn't been a problem, SO FAR.

 

It makes you realize what others may think about you based on your profile.

[MN Tom 251]

That married but not to each other thing is kinda funny, came across someone like that this past week.

 

We had seen them at an event, they were decent to talk with. We looked up their profile online later on, and noticed some funny things. They said they had been together for a few years, but due to highly restrictive work and family life schedules, were only available on tues and sat nights.

 

Then, one sentence buried in the wordy profile says "we aren't married to each other, the mrs is in an open relationship and the mr is legally separated from his wife."

 

Kind of an odd thing to see to be honest, they never mentioned it in person, and we really couldnt tell in person either. And we werent really sure what to think of this. We were kind of dismayed they didnt bring this up in person, but again, it probably ends up being a huge mess of a discussion topic, and in the end, still not sure it should really matter anyway, even though it does bother us.

 

 

The drinking one is funny too. Have seen far too much of that already. A couple says they like to have a few drinks, you see them at a pre party and they can pound down a fifth like it's a bottle of juice.

[Chicup 41]

Statement: We are not Ken and Barbie Interpretation: We’re Herman and Lili.

 

Lili was kinda hot without the makeup

 

Now I'll add my own.

 

Statement: I really enjoy anal sex. Interpretation: My husband has a very small penis.

 

Statement: He is very open minded. Interpretation: My husband is secretly bi.

 

Statement: Lets see where the evening leads us. Interpretation: We are scared crapless of where the evening my take us.

 

Statement: We are fit and attractive. Interpretation: Your eyesight is poor and you can't see our pictures. Interpretation 2: We have no idea what 'fit' or 'attractive' means to the general public. Interpretation 3: We are captains obvious.

 

Statement: Shes not comfortable with full swap yet with your man. Interpretation: My husband is not comfortable with me having sex with another man but it's ok if he has sex with your wife.

[MN Tom 251]

...Statement: Shes not comfortable with full swap yet with your man. Interpretation: My husband is not comfortable with me having sex with another man but it's ok if he has sex with your wife.

 

This one seems to be too common. I've also seen it written in this way too:

 

STATEMENT: We are not opposed to same room play with a couple, but she is only interested in playing with another women

 

 

Even more interesting is when you meet people who have this written and the girl isn't really bi.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

All that is needed is to learn how to read between the lines. Ain't sayin' this is easy. But once you learn, it works fairly well.

 

Which brings us to the question of... what are the hidden meanings? How do you read between the lines?

 

Some are obvious and we've discussed them a million times, i.e. "No drama" = "please don't bring drama because we have plenty of our own".

 

But what are some of the positives you can read between the lines? What are some things you can read between the lines that will lead you to actually finding people you want to meet, rather than just weeding out the ones you don't?

[angelkin 1,326]

Single guy ad says "daytime preferred" = cheating on my wife

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Single guy ad says "daytime preferred" = cheating on my wife

 

Likewise, single guy ad, "I have to be very discrete" = married, cheating

 

Wondering what you guys think about "open minded" It seems many men who have this phrase are listed straight, but are really interested in bi play. We actually have open-minded as one of our despcriptors, but my husband is straight. We mean it in the traditional sense of open to other ways of thinking, adventure, etc. But we tend to get a lot of attention from bi guys or bi listed straight. Actually, we are happy to play with bi or straight guys with me as the focus, so it's not a problem, just wondering if we are unintentionally using a code word.

[twistedpretzels 100]

"I only do oral with my wife" = I actually don't do it with her either.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

But what are some of the positives you can read between the lines?

 

Not sure if this is an all-out positive, but when we see "professional couple", we feel pretty damn confident they aren't going to display redneck like behavior.

We feel pretty good about not witnessing redneck behavior, so it would be a positive to us.

[angelkin 1,326]

We like validations - sorta not reading between the lines...but it helps us get a sense of what type of friends the profile owner might be interested in.

[slevin 1,374]

But what are some of the positives you can read between the lines? What are some things you can read between the lines that will lead you to actually finding people you want to meet, rather than just weeding out the ones you don't?

 

We find a well written ad to be a good thing. Proper grammar, good spelling etc. I have no proof but we think we'll get along better with people who take the time to be precise with their writing etc. When chatting with people online generally we can't find a connection with people who use a lot of online txt spellings, or who have poorly written ads. We click easier with people who take the time to write well etc. The odd misspelling is no big deal of course

[twistedpretzels 100]

Not sure if this is an all-out positive, but when we see "professional couple", we feel pretty damn confident they aren't going to display redneck like behavior.

We feel pretty good about not witnessing redneck behavior, so it would be a positive to us.

 

I like this one!!!! Great point!!!

[LFM2 1,482]

Not sure if this is an all-out positive, but when we see "professional couple", we feel pretty damn confident they aren't going to display redneck like behavior.

We feel pretty good about not witnessing redneck behavior, so it would be a positive to us.

 

Can you expand on this one a little? What redneck behavior are you talking about?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Can you expand on this one a little? What redneck behavior are you talking about?

 

"There's a cat. I'm gonna shoot it. Hold my beer "

Confederate flags used as curtains, mullets, etc. etc.

[LFM2 1,482]

"There's a cat. I'm gonna shoot it. Hold my beer "

Confederate flags used as curtains, mullets, etc. etc.

 

OMG... I was worried there for a sec that Dave and I might exhibit some of this behavior. I guess not.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

No I know you two don't qualify. We know you two too well, so we don't have to read between the lines to know you're awesome.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

"There's a cat. I'm gonna shoot it. Hold my beer "

Confederate flags used as curtains, mullets, etc. etc.

 

You just described why we don't swing close to home (well, much anyways ). We've been lucky to find a few good couples in the general area, but had to get all cleaned up and come down out of the mountains to the big city to find them.

[twistedpretzels 100]

"There's a cat. I'm gonna shoot it. Hold my beer "

Confederate flags used as curtains, mullets, etc. etc.

 

omygoodness, toooooooooooooooo funny!!!!!

[losAmantes 318]

The good: "We play on first date" = They know what they're looking for and if you're it, game on! Experienced, no drama

 

The bad: "We're not bedpost notchers" = Lots of email and chat, one of them has reservations about swinging, drama.

 

The ugly: "Friends first" = Ties up your weekends playing cards all night, drops by your house unexpectedly, gets jealous or hurt when they find out you went to a party without them. Will never swap.

[Chicup 41]

"Hes very open minded." = He is bi, bi-curious.

"He loves oral" = has issues getting it up.

"She love anal" = he has a small penis

"Curves in all the right places" = fat

"We are an attractive couple" = usually not (its worse when they have pictures and are obviously below average)

"Friends first" = We will never have sex with you

"I am looking for a woman for my man" = I am looking for a woman, so I can have an FMF my wife may have/not have agreed to.

"We are not ken and barbie" = we are out of shape

[junglecouple 127]

"I am looking for a woman for my man" = I am looking for a woman, so I can have an FMF my wife may have/not have agreed to."

 

So when my wife posts, pretty much that exact thing, you think "I" made the post? I/we have run into that several times, and usually it's legit. But then, we ALWAYS have a "pre-date" meeting to be sure everyone is on the same page. I don't care what pics they post, what they say in an ad, or what they say on the phone.. Everything is subject to change at first "face-to-face" meeting.

[swinginCO 18]

"Hes very open minded." = He is bi, bi-curious.

"He loves oral" = has issues getting it up.

"She love anal" = he has a small penis

"Curves in all the right places" = fat

"We are an attractive couple" = usually not (its worse when they have pictures and are obviously below average)

"Friends first" = We will never have sex with you

"I am looking for a woman for my man" = I am looking for a woman, so I can have an FMF my wife may have/not have agreed to.

"We are not ken and barbie" = we are out of shape

 

I think your to jaded ro something cause while I have no issues getting it up I love to give oral because I love the taste of a women. Friends first does not always meen we will never sleep with you, the best times we have had have been with friends over strangers. My wife has been looking for a women for me not for mfm, while she is curious and might try one day she honestly wants to see me play around and enjoy watching like I do with her. And chunky girls can be a turn on to some people, I personaly am turned off by skinny chicks I find girls with a bit of extra weight to be much more my style. While there is such a thing as to much weight I have seen way to many girls that have 5 exta lbs and claim there curvy when really there biult like a bord. And my wife loves anal, while I am not hung like a horse I am not small either. Not ever cliche in and add is code for some thing bad.

 

Sent from my phone using Taptalk2

[losAmantes 318]

"He can't post pictures because of the nature of his job" = He's fugly and using the wife for bait.

[LFM2 1,482]

No I know you two don't qualify. We know you two too well, so we don't have to read between the lines to know you're awesome.

 

I think you just made me blush!

[Chicup 41]

I think your to jaded ro something cause while I have no issues getting it up I love to give oral because I love the taste of a women. Friends first does not always meen we will never sleep with you, the best times we have had have been with friends over strangers. My wife has been looking for a women for me not for mfm, while she is curious and might try one day she honestly wants to see me play around and enjoy watching like I do with her. And chunky girls can be a turn on to some people, I personaly am turned off by skinny chicks I find girls with a bit of extra weight to be much more my style. While there is such a thing as to much weight I have seen way to many girls that have 5 exta lbs and claim there curvy when really there biult like a bord. And my wife loves anal, while I am not hung like a horse I am not small either. Not ever cliche in and add is code for some thing bad.

 

Sent from my phone using Taptalk2

 

But are you open minded?

[losAmantes 318]

but are you open minded?

 

rofl!

[swinginCO 18]

Nope. I thought about trying it once but as soon as he showed up the nerve was lost.

 

Sent from my phone using Taptalk2

[4BiddenDezirez 15]

Upon reading between the lines it can be an easy item to perform at times & not so easy of an item to perform.Take for instantants "No Drama" could mean that they themselves have alot of drama in their personal life or it may also mean that they live a fairly peaceful & quite life & donot desire to have their home life,personal life, or possible swinging moments to become a Jerry Springer show.In our greeting we share no drama because we donot want our lives,home,or what is supposed to be an awesome time of sexual sharing to become negitive & have it turning into a Jerry Springer show.Life is unbelievably chaotic today with all the talk shows,poor employment,work,school,children,ect,who can afford anyone elses drama.As for good grammer & spelling I must agree.Penmanship saids alot about a person & what they share speaks volumes of their personality,beliefs,atitudes,ect.For my wife & I we just want to enjoy our child, our love for one another,live as peaceful & quite of a life as we can & to enjoy our sexual desires with out anyone elses drama,games,bs,negitivity,ect,.And yes we also enjoy playing upon the first"date"if all involved hit it off.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

The good: "We play on first date" = They know what they're looking for and if you're it, game on! Experienced, no drama

 

Good call. I was going to post something very similar, but am glad I held off, because you followed through with a couple more.

[4BiddenDezirez 15]

Just another post upon this issue where chicup posts a list of suppossed codes & meanings.I sincerely offer my apologies concerning your narrow minded,judgemental atitude.I know alot of females that enjoy anal & not because their man is small,that just because a man enjoys eating out a woman he must not be able to get it up,curves in all the right places doesnot mean fat,most men I know prefer a woman with a level of fullness then a girl that is mostly bones,open minded does not mean that they are bi or gay,we're an attractive couple doesnot neccesarily mean ugly.And whats wrong with freindships first? We are an attractive young couple, the love of my life truly enjoys her ass fucked & I love tasting a girl & providing pleasure upon her pussy as long as she is clean.I have no issues in size as I am long & thick & never had apromblem with getting it up unless I had to much to drink or I was exhausted.Also My wife is a BBW & alot of people of all ages men & woman have shared how beautiful she is.Your kind of atitude & thinking is a nuclear bombin others feelings,self-esteem,& emotions.Remember upon how you judge others is how you will also be judged.I am sadd for you & those that think like you.By the way we are also open minded & have said so in our post.I am not bi,gay or curious just that we are opened to the possiblities of new adventures,pleasures,pazzionz,ect,.We are not judgemental or closed minde.Trapped in a mental & physical box.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Not sure if this is an all-out positive, but when we see "professional couple",

 

No see, I've never really understood how to take that particular statement. I think it goes back to an old thread around here somewhere where the question came up about does that mean they have sex professionally? Maybe that thread got into my head and stuck, cuz it's always hanging around in the back of my mind when I read those words.

 

When chatting with people online generally we can't find a connection with people who use a lot of online txt spellings

 

We've been seeing more and more ads like this lately. I worry that our language is moving in that direction as a whole.

 

"She love anal" = he has a small penis

 

I think that's less "she likes anal" and more "he loves anal" - cuz it's the only way he can feel anything. That has definitely been my experience. Any guy who asks me for anal (or asks if I like anal) I can instantly peg as having a small dick. And, I've never been wrong on that one.

 

Just another post upon this issue where chicup posts a list of suppossed codes & meanings.I sincerely offer my apologies concerning your narrow minded,judgemental atitude.I know alot of females that enjoy anal & not because their man is small,that just because a man enjoys eating out a woman he must not be able to get it up,curves in all the right places doesnot mean fat,most men I know prefer a woman with a level of fullness then a girl that is mostly bones,open minded does not mean that they are bi or gay,we're an attractive couple doesnot neccesarily mean ugly.And whats wrong with freindships first? We are an attractive young couple, the love of my life truly enjoys her ass fucked & I love tasting a girl & providing pleasure upon her pussy as long as she is clean.I have no issues in size as I am long & thick & never had apromblem with getting it up unless I had to much to drink or I was exhausted.Also My wife is a BBW & alot of people of all ages men & woman have shared how beautiful she is.Your kind of atitude & thinking is a nuclear bombin others feelings,self-esteem,& emotions.Remember upon how you judge others is how you will also be judged.I am sadd for you & those that think like you.By the way we are also open minded & have said so in our post.I am not bi,gay or curious just that we are opened to the possiblities of new adventures,pleasures,pazzionz,ect,.We are not judgemental or closed minde.Trapped in a mental & physical box.

 

Keep in mind that may not be the case for everyone who actually FEELS that way, but rather it tends to be the case (more often than not) for those who feel the need to put certain things in their profile. If nothing else, whether it's the case for the person who puts it in their profile, it's been the case for enough of us who have read these profiles that we will read this context into your profile if those words are included. IE. my original statement about "no drama" = they bring plenty of their own. In other words, if you include those statements in your profile, you might want to consider re-wording due to the impression you may be giving without meaning to do so.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Ok, am I wrong in this "read between the lines" scenario...

 

Their username is bi___couple___ , my assumption seeing only their username is that they are both BI. However, their profile reads that he is straight. What do ya think?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Ok, am I wrong in this "read between the lines" scenario...

 

Their username is bi___couple___ , my assumption seeing only their username is that they are both BI. However, their profile reads that he is straight. What do ya think?

 

My first assumption is always that both are bi until I see something different.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Has anyone else noticed that text speak (and/or terrible grammar/spelling in profiles) often goes hand in hand with people who bring drama (whether or not they claim to be "drama-free").

[Chicup 41]

Just another post upon this issue where chicup posts a list of suppossed codes & meanings.I sincerely offer my apologies concerning your narrow minded,judgemental atitude.I know alot of females that enjoy anal & not because their man is small,that just because a man enjoys eating out a woman he must not be able to get it up,curves in all the right places doesnot mean fat,most men I know prefer a woman with a level of fullness then a girl that is mostly bones,open minded does not mean that they are bi or gay,we're an attractive couple doesnot neccesarily mean ugly.And whats wrong with freindships first? We are an attractive young couple, the love of my life truly enjoys her ass fucked & I love tasting a girl & providing pleasure upon her pussy as long as she is clean.I have no issues in size as I am long & thick & never had apromblem with getting it up unless I had to much to drink or I was exhausted.Also My wife is a BBW & alot of people of all ages men & woman have shared how beautiful she is.Your kind of atitude & thinking is a nuclear bombin others feelings,self-esteem,& emotions.Remember upon how you judge others is how you will also be judged.I am sadd for you & those that think like you.By the way we are also open minded & have said so in our post.I am not bi,gay or curious just that we are opened to the possiblities of new adventures,pleasures,pazzionz,ect,.We are not judgemental or closed minde.Trapped in a mental & physical box.

 

I refuse your apology for me

 

Its not about enjoying anal, its about putting it in the profile, especially as a highlighted mention.

 

If it says "HE is open minded" specifically I'm sticking with bi-bi curious, sorry.

 

If it says "Friendship first" it means the odds of sex is very low. I've written several posts on this. We have had swinger friends, they are great, if they want to be friends first though, good luck. If someone has a link to my big post on this please link it

 

If it says "attractive" I've been usually disappointed with reality. Its also a stupid thing to put in a profile if you have pictures. Attractive is a subjective measure, and when I see it in a profile I wonder who they are trying to convince.

 

"Curves in all the right places" means over weight, period. This is not a judgment call here or telling people what they should like. If you are ok with weight, thats fine and grand, more power to you.

 

I'll tell you a secret too. I'm really good at oral sex with women. It seems to be a specially of mine based on ladies responses. Its not mentioned in our profile because really what does that do? When I see it as mentioned often about a males performance I'm sticking with ED problems. Based on just how often we have ED threads in this forum, again not changing.

 

We've been in and out of swinging for 10+ years now. We have been burned by many profiles. We have learned to read between the lines.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Has anyone else noticed that text speak (and/or terrible grammar/spelling in profiles) often goes hand in hand with people who bring drama (whether or not they claim to be "drama-free").

 

Yes, and this applies both in swinger world and in vanilla world. Look at your Facebook page. The one that has all the drama updates will probably be the biggest text speak violator.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

100% D&D free - Never been tested, don't want to use condoms (just our experience with couples who have this on their profile).

[Chicup 41]

Has anyone else noticed that text speak (and/or terrible grammar/spelling in profiles) often goes hand in hand with people who bring drama (whether or not they claim to be "drama-free").

 

I think the correlation is immaturity brings drama.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think the correlation is immaturity brings drama.

 

Another possibility, poor communication brings drama.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

within the same profile (talk about sending mixed messages)

Are there any real couples that want to get together? We have met people on here that just talk. We have never actually met but we have talked for like a year.

then two sentences later

We are looking for a couple that is willing to go slow and have no pressure...

which is it? You want to get busy or you want to go slow?

 

 

Then later:

the female is kind of shy. It would be a plus if the woman was not too shy to start the action.

Well that explains a lot about the earlier statements/issues. So you are shy and pissed off because someone else won't step up and get the party started FOR YOU?

[losAmantes 318]

"Are there any real couples that want to get together?"

 

Always a BIG red flag to us, makes us wonder why nobody wants to play with them.

[corynlaine 118]

I suppose that it is human nature for any group to always belittle and denograte the "other", but the level or cognitive dissonance displayed in this thread - by the host/owner of the site no less - is simply astounding to me!

 

Just exactly how are your presumptions "No woman ever enjoys anal with a normal sized man" and "any man who tried sucking d*k is REALLY just gay while if my wife licks the kitty she's just being herself" ANY different than the ravings of the vanilia world about swinging is really cheating and only women with low self esteem who've been or are being abused would have sex with other men while their husbands watch/force them.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

\

Just exactly how are your presumptions "No woman ever enjoys anal with a normal sized man" and "any man who tried sucking d*k is REALLY just gay while if my wife licks the kitty she's just being herself"

 

I'm not seeing these presumptions in the thread. Granted, I've only had one cup of coffee this morning, so can you point them out to me?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I suppose that it is human nature for any group to always belittle and denograte the "other", but the level or cognitive dissonance displayed in this thread - by the host/owner of the site no less - is simply astounding to me!

 

Just exactly how are your presumptions "No woman ever enjoys anal with a normal sized man" and "any man who tried sucking d*k is REALLY just gay while if my wife licks the kitty she's just being herself" ANY different than the ravings of the vanilia world about swinging is really cheating and only women with low self esteem who've been or are being abused would have sex with other men while their husbands watch/force them.

 

Please refer to the exact posts where you feel those statements were made. I don't recall seeing anything like that in this thread, and definitely not posted by me. Lots of women enjoy anal sex with lots of different guys. What was said (or at least what I said) was that if a profile says "he loves anal sex" then what you can typically read between the lines is that HE has a small dick. Others said that it applied to profiles where it says "she loves anal sex" as well.

 

As for your latter comment about male vs female bisexuality I'm completely lost as to where that came from or what you are referring to.

[Chicup 41]

I suppose that it is human nature for any group to always belittle and denograte the "other", but the level or cognitive dissonance displayed in this thread - by the host/owner of the site no less - is simply astounding to me!

 

Just exactly how are your presumptions "No woman ever enjoys anal with a normal sized man" and "any man who tried sucking d*k is REALLY just gay while if my wife licks the kitty she's just being herself" ANY different than the ravings of the vanilia world about swinging is really cheating and only women with low self esteem who've been or are being abused would have sex with other men while their husbands watch/force them.

 

corynlaine when I write I only write what I see as the truth from my perspective. I don't lie, nor do I have an agenda. The problem is some people don't like this truth and then will project things on it which were NEVER said. You seem to be one of these people. We are talking about profiles here, and profiles are basically advertizements. Many people will not tell the whole truth in their profile just like most marketers won't tell the whole truth in an add. For example, there are a lot more bi guys in swinging than admit it on a profile. As such seeing "he is open minded" is a big giant red flag to me. Likewise its not about who likes anal with what but most profiles make no mention of anal sex, its not something you tend to talk about before you meet someone. When anal is stressed IN a profile we tend to find that there is a reason for it.

 

Now another mistake people make is assuming that a statement is 100% all or nothing. We are talking trends here, not absolute truths. Some newbies will read profiles and copy how things are phrased, not knowing there might be a hidden message there. There is probably a profile out there that says "She is curvy in all the right places and really loves anal, I mean REALLY loves anal. He is VERY open minded. We are a friendship first couple, not bedpost notchers and please NO DRAMA!" and those people are hard bodies, she has an hourglass figure, she really loves anal but only with a 8" dick like her husband has, and he is open minded when it comes to religion. They make friends very fast, and are a very easy to get along with couple. But I wouldn't bet on it on average.