Do you ever feel you're batting out of your league?

[StewartP 171]

We're meeting a couple tonight at a club. In fact we'll probably meet them before going to the club in a café where we can chat a bit and get to know each other.

 

Here's my little worry. Their profile on the swinger site we use has a zillion galleries of them taken by pro photographer. They are great looking and in great shape physically. They also have about 80 testimonials on their page from couples and singles they have been with.

 

I'm just a bit worried that we might not be up to their expectations! I keep thinking why would they choose to be with us when they could have any of these fantastic people.

 

Fiona and I are bright and funny, I realise that we are attractive, but these 2 are bit special! Fiona is in great shape, but I've put on a few kilos since Christmas and I'm not feeling very sure of myself!!

 

No doubt I'm overthinking it again! I don't want my brain to troll me tonight when I should be having the time of my life!

 

So I'm waiting for all your encouraging words

[Chicup 42]

If they have 80 testimonials then perhaps they are swinger sluts and younhave nothing to worry about

[StewartP 171]

I just checked again, it's 73 testimonials spread out since 2008!! So they're not that bad! looks like they meet up about twice a month.

I spoke to Cathy on the phone a few minutes back to confirm and organise time, she sounds lovely. She said all the right things.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Here's my thoughts (along the line of Chicups). With 80 certs (or even just 73) over the last 4 years. That means there were that many people (at least) that they (at least) met up with (if not played with) that didn't leave them certs/testimonials. So they get out a LOT. Even if it's just every other week that they are getting out with and meeting up with NEW people, that's quite a bit by most people's standards.

 

Now, nothing wrong with that.

 

But, if you are getting out that often with that many different people you may not be as picky about who you hook with (how they look,etc) as others might be.

 

That's not to say that there's anything wrong with you. We often find ourselves to be some of the most attractive people at the parties we attend but at the same time we've been looking at a new local group and feeling much the same way. We'd love to get a chance to check this new club out but we aren't sure we are "in their league" (maybe in a few more months and a few more lbs).

 

Go meet them and don't go in thinking they are out of your league. You may find that you are out of theirs. A pretty picture does not mean they are pretty people.

 

[video=youtube_share;UG3ExHB133k]

[PB&J 1,086]

Love that Pikes song! Ah, the 80's, and listening to late night CBC radio, before they became popular.

[angelkin 1,326]

Stewart, you'll have to let us know how things turn out. Don't be insecure, you and Fiona are attractive and interesting!

 

To answer your question, yes, we've felt outclassed at some venues...and then also been at some parties where we felt we were the most attractive and desirable couple there. Both situations were equally uncomfortable and unsuccessful.

[StewartP 171]

Feedback:

We met them outside the club, charming intelligent people.

 

She was a little too self-obsessed, when we were dancing she migrated off to the big mirror and watched herself dance for a bit.. ???

 

BUT... Fiona didn't fancy him AT ALL and after a while she told me she didn't want to go any further!!

 

So I had the fun job of breaking the news....

 

But they were very gracious and understanding, we broke it off fairly early they still had plenty of time to hook up with someone else, plus this club was like their local, they knew EVERYBODY there!

 

So end result... We didn't get it on. Fi said she thought about "taking one for the team" but she's done that once before and it wasn't a good experience, I'm glad she didn't do it again.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

I've been reading this story of yours from it's beginning and with interest. . I thank you for sharing. It is a fine example of how to live swing successfully including lessons that it's OK to go into a situation that feels slightly uncomfortable as long as you are doing it together with eyes wide open and as long as you are flexible enough to change a plan feeling no regret.

 

Bravo!

 

 

Sent using Tapatalk

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Yay! See you weren't outclassed at all!

[Chicup 42]

Glad it worked out/ didn't work out

 

To expand the idea of the thread (now that I'm on a real keyboard instead of an ipad) we are never sure what "class" we are in.

 

We are both in good shape for our ages, but not great shape. Neither hard bodies nor marshmallows. Most people these days in our range seem to live at an all you can eat buffet, and we just don't find that look attractive, yet if they don't belong to that health mindset, they seem to be very narcissistic and push it to the other side, where the question isn't if you should get breast implants but just which surgeon to use.

 

Perhaps the ironic thing we find about the late 30+'s who are in good shape is many also tend to be the HEAVY drinkers and or potential drug use crowd. This is most definitely not our thing.

 

We don't fit in either group, but it seems a large percentage like us THINK they should be in the hardbodies group, its kinda funny, in a sad way.

 

This also might be a local thing but we find a large majority in the group we find attractive are in the bi ladies crowd. Now Mrs. Chicup is bi, but shes shy about it, she's shy in general, so we won't fit with the "girls make out dancing crowd", so we fail there.

 

So we are never sure what class we end up in at the end of the day, to know exactly how out classed we may be

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Glad it worked out/ didn't work out

 

To expand the idea of the thread (now that I'm on a real keyboard instead of an ipad) we are never sure what "class" we are in.

 

We are both in good shape for our ages, but not great shape. Neither hard bodies nor marshmallows. Most people these days in our range seem to live at an all you can eat buffet, and we just don't find that look attractive, yet if they don't belong to that health mindset, they seem to be very narcissistic and push it to the other side, where the question isn't if you should get breast implants but just which surgeon to use.

 

Perhaps the ironic thing we find about the late 30+'s who are in good shape is many also tend to be the HEAVY drinkers and or potential drug use crowd. This is most definitely not our thing.

 

We don't fit in either group, but it seems a large percentage like us THINK they should be in the hardbodies group, its kinda funny, in a sad way.

 

This also might be a local thing but we find a large majority in the group we find attractive are in the bi ladies crowd. Now Mrs. Chicup is bi, but shes shy about it, she's shy in general, so we won't fit with the "girls make out dancing crowd", so we fail there.

 

So we are never sure what class we end up in at the end of the day, to know exactly how out classed we may be

 

That pretty well sums it up for us too. Then add to that that people in our age bracket (and your) typically have kids and we don't, that often throws in a whole different wrench in the equation. We might be in their league but have nothing in common and be unable to make anything happen.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Stewart, you'll have to let us know how things turn out. Don't be insecure, you and Fiona are attractive and interesting!

 

To answer your question, yes, we've felt outclassed at some venues...and then also been at some parties where we felt we were the most attractive and desirable couple there. Both situations were equally uncomfortable and unsuccessful.

 

Our thoughts exactly, we always like to be right in the middle and I think being on the upper end of the scale is more of a detriment than being at the bottom. Who would have ever thought that being average would work to your advantage, lol.

[Playful1 434]

I don't think about it. I just assume that if they are interested in me, I met their standards so it is all good. Have I been to parties where (rightly or wrongly) I felt way outclassed? Yes. I just say fuck it.

 

Think of it in the reverse....if you think they are so great, and they are interested in you, take it as a compliment. The number of certs they have, doesnt mean a damn thing other than they like playing. If I had a cert for every person I've played with, well, it'd be in triple digits. I'm still picky though.

 

don't worry and have fun. if they are interested, go with it

[Chicup 42]

That pretty well sums it up for us too. Then add to that that people in our age bracket (and your) typically have kids and we don't, that often throws in a whole different wrench in the equation. We might be in their league but have nothing in common and be unable to make anything happen.

 

Started swinging, avoided swingers with kids.

 

Now, avoid swingers without kids.

 

The biggest problem we have with the without kids club is they don't seem to usually understand the dynamics of babysitting. We can't meet you on a Friday night if you talk to us Friday afternoon.

[LFM2 1,482]

We can't meet you on a Friday night if you talk to us Friday afternoon.

 

Hell, we still can't meet you on Friday night if you talk to us Friday afternoon. Maybe Sunday or Monday... or even next week. Definitely no same day stuff here. You'd have to be damned special.

[cupl4fun 361]

I feel out of my league every time I look at my wife So I guess I have gotten used to it. If they are talking to me, and looking at me then obviously they do not think they are out of my league...so why worry about it?

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I feel out of my league every time I look at my wife So I guess I have gotten used to it. If they are talking to me, and looking at me then obviously they do not think they are out of my league...so why worry about it?

 

Almost word for word what I was thinking!

[slevin 1,374]

Hell, we still can't meet you on Friday night if you talk to us Friday afternoon. Maybe Sunday or Monday... or even next week. Definitely no same day stuff here. You'd have to be damned special.

 

Agreed! No kids, but it's a rare weekend when we could just jump at a last minute request to meet up. Hell, we get close friends asking what we're doing at the last minute that we have to turn down. Either due to current plans or something more lame like being tired

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Started swinging, avoided swingers with kids.

 

Now, avoid swingers without kids.

 

The biggest problem we have with the without kids club is they don't seem to usually understand the dynamics of babysitting. We can't meet you on a Friday night if you talk to us Friday afternoon.

 

Hell, we still can't meet you on Friday night if you talk to us Friday afternoon. Maybe Sunday or Monday... or even next week. Definitely no same day stuff here. You'd have to be damned special.

 

Agreed! No kids, but it's a rare weekend when we could just jump at a last minute request to meet up. Hell, we get close friends asking what we're doing at the last minute that we have to turn down. Either due to current plans or something more lame like being tired

 

Ditto to the above. We totally get the babysitting thing and at best (or worst?) we might email on a Thursday asking about potential for getting together over the weekend. But, typically we try to make plans like that a week (or more) in advance.

 

That and it always kinda wigs me out a little when people want to meet "RIGHT NOW". I'm all about meeting quick and avoiding the back and forth email, but there's a fine line between just making plans to meet and assuming we have no life other than fucking you.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

We're due to attend a party tomorrow night and from the SLS pictures of the majority of those attending...they all seem intimidating to me (read: out of our league). I'm feeling pretty anxious about it as I've heard certain things (cliquish and snobby) about the type of party we're going to attend. It worries me but I know that we have to see it for ourselves to see if the rumors are true.

[Chicup 42]

We're due to attend a party tomorrow night and from the SLS pictures of the majority of those attending...they all seem intimidating to me (read: out of our league). I'm feeling pretty anxious about it as I've heard certain things (cliquish and snobby) about the type of party we're going to attend. It worries me but I know that we have to see it for ourselves to see if the rumors are true.

 

We went to a cliquish, snobby, party once that was looks wise out of our league. And yea we were ignored. Nothing to be nervous about, only disappointed but I did get a certain satisfaction watching two of the girls puking their guts out side the club since drank like 19 year olds binge drinking in college.

 

Perhaps that also explains the cliquish and snobby part

 

Another thing you may hear is that a group is like that from people who just didn't fit in. Its sour grapes, so you might be fine.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I apologize if I am hijacking the thread, but just wanted to update and say that party was a bust. As Mr. Sunbuckus said, "My eyeballs are happy but my penis isn't." I would say that at least 95% of the people at the party were beautiful and speaking for myself, I was pretty uncomfortable there. We stayed there longer than we should have, thinking that maybe it was just going to take awhile for things to get started. But by 11:30, not a lot of going on considering there were about 200 people there. Mr. Sunbuckus and I had gone into several playrooms, to play with each other and try to entice others to join but no one seemed interested...with the exception of one couple but the female half couldn't play with males due to her master's demand. We talked to another couple but they were only there to people watch...and that's what it seemed like for most of the couples. They wanted to talk, stand around and look pretty, but nothing else. Kind of like, "Look at how sexy we are, wouldn't you like to get with this? Well, you never will!" We left and went to another party and played instead. The venue and people may not be as visually beautiful but at least we knew there would be real swingers there.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We talked to another couple but they were only there to people watch...and that's what it seemed like for most of the couples. They wanted to talk, stand around and look pretty, but nothing else.

 

That, unfortunately, is becoming more of the norm. More and more couples are showing up for the "sexy atmosphere". Eventually in some places, those couples that are providing the sexy atmosphere and action will stop showing up. Then all they'll have is a regular nightclub with a very expensive cover charge.

[Chicup 42]

That, unfortunately, is becoming more of the norm. More and more couples are showing up for the "sexy atmosphere". Eventually in some places, those couples that are providing the sexy atmosphere and action will stop showing up. Then all they'll have is a regular nightclub with a very expensive cover charge.

 

Being we have been swinging for 12 years or so, and were always part of the "internet" crowd, I have to wonder if its becoming more common or is it just simply the way it is. Its almost always been that way from our perspective.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We're due to attend a party tomorrow night and from the SLS pictures of the majority of those attending...they all seem intimidating to me (read: out of our league). I'm feeling pretty anxious about it as I've heard certain things (cliquish and snobby) about the type of party we're going to attend. It worries me but I know that we have to see it for ourselves to see if the rumors are true.

 

We are signed up to attend a similar party later in June (if we get accepted - still waiting on that). We've been watching this party for a while and finally met a couple who are regulars and seemed pretty normal. We out right asked them if the group was a bunch of "Ken & Barbies" or if they just thought they were. They let us know that about half the group thinks they are Ken & Barbie and they will let you know it, the other half is pretty normal and as it typical online a lot of them are not nearly as pretty as their pictures make them out to be. We'll see what happens if we are allowed to attend.

 

Being we have been swinging for 12 years or so, and were always part of the "internet" crowd, I have to wonder if its becoming more common or is it just simply the way it is. Its almost always been that way from our perspective.

 

It's becoming more common. I think what we may see happen is that those who want to play will start having more house parties to avoid dealing with the looky-loos.