Alicia1984 19 Posted June 16, 2012 So as you can see, I'm new to the board (and swinging in general), and got into a situation last night that I wanted to get a fresh set of ears (well, eyes) on. So our good friends come over, and we all sort of got into the idea of swinging with each other. We had all discussed it within our own relationships, but girl talk led to the revelation that the other couple had had a discussion and mentioned us as a couple they felt comfy with (as we did them, in private). Started as casual conversation, over months it progressed bit, and lately we'd been doing some soft swapping. Sex on the same bed, a little mutual stroking, but nothing major. Feeling ready to take the plunge, but obviously nervous as I'm sure everyone is when they progress to a new level. So we all get comfortable, and I'm sitting on the other man's lap in the hot tub. At the end, I invite him to come help me "look for towels" (this was pre-approved by hubby, he said take five minutes alone if it feels awkward at first). We go to the spare bedroom and I let him play with me for a while, the way we typically do, but it began to progress, with my encouragement, to more intense rubbing when he started to finger me. I let him go down on me for a while, but after five minutes or so, I told him to lay back and I'd give him a blow job. After a minute of doing it, and him squirming a lot mostly out of excitement since I don't think he expected it to go that far, I realized I would be more comfortable with our partners in the room, so I retrieved the two of them. Before going, I told the other male that I'd blow him, but don't cum in my mouth, do it in your wife's, and he agreed. We all begin to play with each other, with my hubby getting a bit more attention when I diverted to resume the promised blow job. My husband comes around to have sex with me, and all is awesome, I'm with two guys, the other wife is playing with my husband and me, when boom. Not one minute into the blow job my mouth is full of cum. I feel his hand kind of tap me but as I look up I can see he is horrified. When it hit me I swallowed by instinct, leaving me getting fucked from behind with a limp dick in my mouth, an embarrassed male on the one end looking me in the eye almost begging without words that I keep his cover for a few minutes and pretend to be sucking it, and my husband behind me. After another minute in my mouth I figured the way out was to turn and give my husband a bj so his wife would slide in and play with him, and she did, he went down on her and when me and my husband finished so did they. Now, after everything was over, he apologized privately, and said it wouldn't happen again and he was caught completely off guard and just lost control, realizing it too late. It was definitely an intense situation, both of our first experiences with sex acts, but I was conflicted. I know when I am about to have an orgasm, and in my experience, so do men. This was the first time we had been together, and had he not finished early, there likely would have been intercourse because it was going great. Now my mind tells me it was an accident, but there's also a creeping feeling that maybe he figured I'd get cold feet at any moment and decided to steal a blowjob, because I feel like he certainly could have pulled my head back, or whatever. Yeah, it would be embarrassing to finish so quickly, but it wouldn't have bothered me, or anyone else involved. Everything else was spectacular, but I'm wondering: a.) has anyone had an agreed upon rule broken by what the person claims was a mistake, and b.) how did you handle it? I never heard stories of quick ejaculation from his wife, so it could be that it was the heat of the moment, but it has given me pause about letting him inside my mouth again until I see him last at least a little while with his wife! Quote Share this post Link to post
km34 672 Posted June 16, 2012 It sounds like it really was an accident to me. Some men struggle with keeping it up in new and crazy situations while other men have issues to the other extreme and cum really quickly! I've been with a couple of men who cum out of nowhere (no real warning), so I wouldn't assume he planned it unless you have reason to. Accidental things like that, I would probably let slide unless that was really a big deal for you (but since you went along with his attempt to cover up, I assume it wasn't?). Now, if he purposefully did something, I wouldn't play with them anymore. At all. I kind of have a one strike policy with purposeful rule-breaking. Accidents happen and while getting caught up in the moment isn't really an excuse, it happens. Also not everyone's bodies work the same in every situation so if you're really concern talk to him about it. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Alicia1984 19 Posted June 16, 2012 Yea, I had been willing to chalk it up to first time over zealousness, but it can't hurt to ask around. I don't have any reason to think he was doing anything intentionally, but sometimes when you continuously think about something, you create new angles in your mind. It wasn't a huge deal to me, and I definitely didn't want to embarrass him, although I mentioned it to my husband after since there's no secrets. After they left I even thought that if it was just a mishap, it was a funny ice breaker, and an easy way to know that the next time will definitely be better! Quote Share this post Link to post
slevin 1,374 Posted June 16, 2012 The part that concerns me isn't whether it was an accident or not (it probably was). It was his desire to keep it a secret from his wife and your tacit involvement in that. It's one thing for an accident like that to happen which you weren't planning on or interested in. It's another thing to pretend like it didn't happen and keep that from his wife. Quote Share this post Link to post
two4youinswva 3,068 Posted June 16, 2012 Here's what I think was going through his mind (then through his penis): "God this feels good. We're really doing this! Oh shit, I'm getting close. Think about something else. OK The NBA finals. Think about that....... OK, it's passing, I'm getting past it. OH SHIT, no I'm not. Oops. Oh man, I'm fucked." Like km34 said, if you're cool with giving him a mulligan once, then no problem. I doubt he'll make that mistake again. I'm not sure why it was being kept "secret" though. Quote Share this post Link to post
Alicia1984 19 Posted June 16, 2012 I probably should not have said "Secret" as everyone was made aware after. I meant that in the heat of the moment, I downplayed it and didn't put him on the spot, which I felt would have made him feel worse than he already did. Quote Share this post Link to post
two4youinswva 3,068 Posted June 16, 2012 I probably should not have said "Secret" as everyone was made aware after. I meant that in the heat of the moment, I downplayed it and didn't put him on the spot, which I felt would have made him feel worse than he already did. Thanks for clarifying that. That was very nice of you for keeping it in perspective, even in the heat of the moment. Quote Share this post Link to post
Alura 2,775 Posted June 16, 2012 If one made a list of rules most likely to be broken, my guess is that this one would be at the top of the list... say about seventeen on a scale of one to ten. "Every time I give a blowjob, I expect the guy to come in my mouth. If I didn't want him to, his cock wouldn't be in my mouth." —Mrs. Alura 1955-2009 Is this a rule you and your husband have agreed upon? Does your husband come in your mouth from time to time? Quote Share this post Link to post
angelkin 1,326 Posted June 16, 2012 I can see both sides here. On one hand, I can completely understand the scenario that two4youinswva laid out, with the guy losing his control truly by accident. BUT, on the other hand, as a lady who swings and doesn't swallow for friends, I'd have been a little more than surprised. I think you handled it very well, better than I would have. The guy probably does deserve the benefit of the doubt this time. However, if it happens again, that's an issue. Sounds like the encounter was enjoyable for all other than this one snafu, right? Quote Share this post Link to post
bbarnsworth 2,652 Posted June 16, 2012 I think as many here, the guy deserves the benefit of the doubt. Also, Mrs. Alura's wise words (quoted by the equally wise Mr. Alura) need to be taken to heart. Things happen. Not every guy has perfect control. When my wife and I first started out, as with many couples we had many rules. Now, the rules are very, very simple. It's very difficult to break rules when you don't have (many) rules. I think you will find the rules will slowly evaporate. A few years from now, you'll look back and chuckle about it. Quote Share this post Link to post
sunbuckus 3,569 Posted June 16, 2012 I think Alicia did a great job in not making a big deal out of it in the heat of the moment. Accidents happen and everyone should learn from them. As for bj's, I give them but I never let a man cum in my mouth. Even Mr. Sunbuckus very, very, very rarely does that. I give bj's to excite but not to make a man cum in my mouth. Quote Share this post Link to post
km34 672 Posted June 16, 2012 "Every time I give a blowjob, I expect the guy to come in my mouth. If I didn't want him to, his cock wouldn't be in my mouth." —Mrs. Alura 1955-2009 I wish I could have met Mrs. Alura... She just made way too much sense about way too much stuff! Thank you for sharing. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
cupl4fun 361 Posted June 16, 2012 I don't think it is for us to decide if it is a big deal or if it is not a big deal, really that is for you to decide. If it bothered you and upset you, then it is a big deal, whether it is an accident or not. If you were not all that bothered by it and really felt like it was honestly just a mistake, then it is not so big of a deal. Personally for us, If we had made a rule of no cumming in the wife's mouth, we would be at least a little bit upset. I realize penises are fickle things and sometimes have a mind of their own (lord knows I sometimes cum way sooner than I want to, and other times haven't been able to cum even when she wanted me to) , but I have never not realized that I am at least getting close. I always let my female partner know when I am getting close (unless she has already let me know she wants to swallow), just to make sure she knows. I just feel like she has the right to know, so she can choose how she would like to proceed. Maybe I am weird, but I don't want some poor lady having to deal with my cum in her mouth if that's not what she wants. So if it was us I think we would be a little more upset than most on here have stated, just because I would never do this. I still even let my wife know when I am getting close just in case she is not in the mood for that particular treat on that particular day. Quote Share this post Link to post
Alicia1984 19 Posted June 16, 2012 I can see both sides here. On one hand, I can completely understand the scenario that two4youinswva laid out, with the guy losing his control truly by accident. BUT, on the other hand, as a lady who swings and doesn't swallow for friends, I'd have been a little more than surprised. I think you handled it very well, better than I would have. The guy probably does deserve the benefit of the doubt this time. However, if it happens again, that's an issue. Sounds like the encounter was enjoyable for all other than this one snafu, right? Everything else was amazing, and my issue was similar to yours. I swallow all the time for my husband, but I wasn't sure if I wanted another guy busting in my mouth, at least not the first few times. That said, I agree with the poster who had the quote about not putting a dick in your mouth if you don't want cum in it, so I really wasn't mad, just surprised.It wasn't anything that upset me, or made it situationally awkward after the sex was over, just in that moment I was taken by surprise, and I figured this was a common problem so if I posted, people would say oh yea, it happenes. I'm convinced it was not done on purpose, and was just a guy really enjoying the fact that he was getting his dick sucked who lost control at the wrong moment. We have no formal "rules" because we think it would be silly to restrict ourselves by saying, "You can do this, but not this." It was simply a preference at that time, but I also think the entire thing is something we can joke about somewhere down the line, after more successful encounters. We jumped back on the horse last night, and the first thing I did after playing with my husband for a bit was suck his dick, and there was no issue. He was a lot more talkative after lasting a more normal amount of time, so it looks like a humorous story and nothing more. My inclination was to take it slow, and think it over, but we decided it would be silly to dwell on something so irrelevant, and that getting right back on would clarify the situation rather quickly. "Problem" solved, and now for a middle of the early morning nap to unwind! Thanks for the advice, and keep it coming to anybody who hasn't responded but wants to. The mroe input the better. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
JustAskJulie 2,595 Posted June 16, 2012 If one made a list of rules most likely to be broken, my guess is that this one would be at the top of the list... say about seventeen on a scale of one to ten. "Every time I give a blowjob, I expect the guy to come in my mouth. If I didn't want him to, his cock wouldn't be in my mouth." —Mrs. Alura 1955-2009 Is this a rule you and your husband have agreed upon? Does your husband come in your mouth from time to time? Alura Ditto all the way. Quote Share this post Link to post
Alura 2,775 Posted June 16, 2012 I wish I could have met Mrs. Alura... She just made way too much sense about way too much stuff! Thank you for sharing. I think the folks, especially those who are members here, who did meet her would agree. She had a way of cutting through the bullshit, usually in a way that made one "laugh out loud." Sharing memories of her is always a pleasure. Quote Share this post Link to post
Alura 2,775 Posted June 16, 2012 We jumped back on the horse last night, and the first thing I did ... was suck his dick, and there was no issue. He was a lot more talkative after lasting a more normal amount of time, so it looks like a humorous story and nothing more. I think this was a wise decision, Alicia. It's always better to solve a problem with humor than to get angry. We once had a "Mr. Playmate" who had a control problem. We considered telling the couple we weren't going to swap with them any more but Mrs. Alura thought she could train him with a little effort. She did, and we played with him and his wife for years. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
JustAskJulie 2,595 Posted June 16, 2012 We once had a "Mr. Playmate" who had a control problem. We considered telling the couple we weren't going to swap with them any more but Mrs. Alura thought she could train him with a little effort. She did, and we played with him and his wife for years. It just makes us all wish she was still here to share the story of how she did that! I know I'd love to know. Hell, she could have written a book that was a best-seller! Quote Share this post Link to post
Alura 2,775 Posted June 16, 2012 It just makes us all wish she was still here to share the story of how she did that! I know I'd love to know. Hell, she could have written a book that was a best-seller! No problem; I know exactly how she did it. I watched. The next time we met, she told him that he had a issue of coming too quickly. It had left her disappointed and she'd like to help him solve the problem. He was enthusiastic! She told him that she'd noticed that his second erection lasted a long time, so she was going to start the evening with a "no responsibility" (her term) blowjob. He was to sit back, relax, and come in her mouth. The goal was "to take the edge off." Of course, he loved the treatment, but more importantly he gained control. Soon the preliminary blowjob became unnecessary, although she continued to do it fairly often. She "didn't want to punish him for his success." That couple, married right after high school, had been together twenty years and had never had sex with anybody else when we met them. Laura also improved his pussy-eating. Both won! Quote Share this post Link to post
JustAskJulie 2,595 Posted June 16, 2012 No problem; I know exactly how she did it. I watched. The next time we met, she told him that he had a issue of coming too quickly. It had left her disappointed and she'd like to help him solve the problem. He was enthusiastic! She told him that she'd noticed that his second erection lasted a long time, so she was going to start the evening with a "no responsibility" (her term) blowjob. He was to sit back, relax, and come in her mouth. The goal was "to take the edge off." Of course, he loved the treatment, but more importantly he gained control. Soon the preliminary blowjob became unnecessary, although she continued to do it fairly often. She "didn't want to punish him for his success." That couple, married right after high school, had been together twenty years and had never had sex with anybody else when we met them. Laura also improved his pussy-eating. Both won! Ah yes, when the only issue is coming too quick that is the answer. I had a guy years ago that ALWAYS came in under a minute. So, I learned quickly to always start with a blowjob and then start over. Second time always went better. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
occ 148 Posted June 16, 2012 having a man cum in my mouth is the best. Mr OCC for sure. But like Alura, if there is a cock in my mouth I expect it to cum in my mouth unless the man has other ideas which is okay too. And I always swallow. But to each her own. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
10thBadger 25 Posted December 22, 2021 On 6/15/2012 at 8:54 PM, Alicia1984 said: So as you can see, I'm new to the board (and swinging in general), and got into a situation last night that I wanted to get a fresh set of ears (well, eyes) on. So our good friends come over, and we all sort of got into the idea of swinging with each other. We had all discussed it within our own relationships, but girl talk led to the revelation that the other couple had had a discussion and mentioned us as a couple they felt comfy with (as we did them, in private). Started as casual conversation, over months it progressed bit, and lately we'd been doing some soft swapping. Sex on the same bed, a little mutual stroking, but nothing major. Feeling ready to take the plunge, but obviously nervous as I'm sure everyone is when they progress to a new level. So we all get comfortable, and I'm sitting on the other man's lap in the hot tub. At the end, I invite him to come help me "look for towels" (this was pre-approved by hubby, he said take five minutes alone if it feels awkward at first). We go to the spare bedroom and I let him play with me for a while, the way we typically do, but it began to progress, with my encouragement, to more intense rubbing when he started to finger me. I let him go down on me for a while, but after five minutes or so, I told him to lay back and I'd give him a blow job. After a minute of doing it, and him squirming a lot mostly out of excitement since I don't think he expected it to go that far, I realized I would be more comfortable with our partners in the room, so I retrieved the two of them. Before going, I told the other male that I'd blow him, but don't cum in my mouth, do it in your wife's, and he agreed. We all begin to play with each other, with my hubby getting a bit more attention when I diverted to resume the promised blow job. My husband comes around to have sex with me, and all is awesome, I'm with two guys, the other wife is playing with my husband and me, when boom. Not one minute into the blow job my mouth is full of cum. I feel his hand kind of tap me but as I look up I can see he is horrified. When it hit me I swallowed by instinct, leaving me getting fucked from behind with a limp dick in my mouth, an embarrassed male on the one end looking me in the eye almost begging without words that I keep his cover for a few minutes and pretend to be sucking it, and my husband behind me. After another minute in my mouth I figured the way out was to turn and give my husband a bj so his wife would slide in and play with him, and she did, he went down on her and when me and my husband finished so did they. Now, after everything was over, he apologized privately, and said it wouldn't happen again and he was caught completely off guard and just lost control, realizing it too late. It was definitely an intense situation, both of our first experiences with sex acts, but I was conflicted. I know when I am about to have an orgasm, and in my experience, so do men. This was the first time we had been together, and had he not finished early, there likely would have been intercourse because it was going great. Now my mind tells me it was an accident, but there's also a creeping feeling that maybe he figured I'd get cold feet at any moment and decided to steal a blowjob, because I feel like he certainly could have pulled my head back, or whatever. Yeah, it would be embarrassing to finish so quickly, but it wouldn't have bothered me, or anyone else involved. Everything else was spectacular, but I'm wondering: a.) has anyone had an agreed upon rule broken by what the person claims was a mistake, and b.) how did you handle it? I never heard stories of quick ejaculation from his wife, so it could be that it was the heat of the moment, but it has given me pause about letting him inside my mouth again until I see him last at least a little while with his wife! And let me guess, you did not tell your husband what happened so you were keeping just dirty secret between you and the other dude. Shame shame shame Quote Share this post Link to post
10thBadger 25 Posted December 22, 2021 On 6/16/2012 at 7:13 AM, Alicia1984 said: Everything else was amazing, and my issue was similar to yours. I swallow all the time for my husband, but I wasn't sure if I wanted another guy busting in my mouth, at least not the first few times. That said, I agree with the poster who had the quote about not putting a dick in your mouth if you don't want cum in it, so I really wasn't mad, just surprised.It wasn't anything that upset me, or made it situationally awkward after the sex was over, just in that moment I was taken by surprise, and I figured this was a common problem so if I posted, people would say oh yea, it happenes. I'm convinced it was not done on purpose, and was just a guy really enjoying the fact that he was getting his dick sucked who lost control at the wrong moment. We have no formal "rules" because we think it would be silly to restrict ourselves by saying, "You can do this, but not this." It was simply a preference at that time, but I also think the entire thing is something we can joke about somewhere down the line, after more successful encounters. We jumped back on the horse last night, and the first thing I did after playing with my husband for a bit was suck his dick, and there was no issue. He was a lot more talkative after lasting a more normal amount of time, so it looks like a humorous story and nothing more. My inclination was to take it slow, and think it over, but we decided it would be silly to dwell on something so irrelevant, and that getting right back on would clarify the situation rather quickly. "Problem" solved, and now for a middle of the early morning nap to unwind! Thanks for the advice, and keep it coming to anybody who hasn't responded but wants to. The mroe input the better. Did you tell his wife what happened? Quote Share this post Link to post
Ammmy 0 Posted July 5, 2023 I would like to add ......? So what if after you gave the guy a blowjob he came in your mouth unexpectedly, he flips you over and continues on and wants /tries to fuck you right after after he just came! And you run away from the situation because you were scared, (plus it was technically your last day of ovulation and your were fertile and you definitely don't want a mistake ) and you didn't want him to continue fucking after he just came you so you left your partner there with the other woman, afraid to let anyone know what just happened and you didn't want to break up the orgy and cause a scene , but you wanted to go home and shower and forget what just happened....is that the wrong thing to do...when you flight or fight kicks in?? Has this ever happened to anyone? Quote Share this post Link to post
Ammmy 0 Posted July 5, 2023 I would like to add, disregard the fertile part, just checked. Thank God I wasn't ..... Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,718 Posted July 5, 2023 8 hours ago, Ammmy said: So what if after you gave the guy a blowjob he came in your mouth unexpectedly If I let a guy into my mouth, pussy or bum, I expect him to ejaculate in me at some point. It's natural, and to a large degree, uncontrollable. The guys I've been with don't want to pull out in the moment, they push in. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Anon321 524 Posted July 5, 2023 9 hours ago, Ammmy said: I would like to add ......? So what if after you gave the guy a blowjob he came in your mouth unexpectedly, he flips you over and continues on and wants /tries to fuck you right after after he just came! And you run away from the situation because you were scared, (plus it was technically your last day of ovulation and your were fertile and you definitely don't want a mistake ) and you didn't want him to continue fucking after he just came you so you left your partner there with the other woman, afraid to let anyone know what just happened and you didn't want to break up the orgy and cause a scene , but you wanted to go home and shower and forget what just happened....is that the wrong thing to do...when you flight or fight kicks in?? Has this ever happened to anyone? I won't say that men absolutely cannot control pulling out, however if a woman really doesn't want their partner to cum inside them then they should be using a condom. I know I prefer to see guys cum on my GF rather than in but we realize some guys will on occasion cum inside her whether it's her pussy, ass or mouth whether they are in bareback or using a condom. If you thought you were fertile and were worried about potentially getting pregnant, then it should have been already discussed that a condom is a necessity to play. Nobody would have thought you were making a scene by requesting your partner to put on a condom. Now if you just didn't like the vibe or your partner and want to leave, then that's fine too, you should just leave. But I am a little confused as to your preparation in this scenario as it sounds like condoms should have been readily available for play. Quote Share this post Link to post
let's do it again 416 Posted July 5, 2023 The first time I have any kind of sex with a new woman I usually cum faster that I want. That being said most of those women are ready to give me round 2. My opinion is that he was over anxious and came to quick. Let me ask you, " how would you have reacted if he couldn't get hard or cum, would that had been worse ? Quote Share this post Link to post
MrMrsswinger 205 Posted July 5, 2023 I know this is a very old thread so my response is not for the OP since she appears to have concluded it was accidental. My comment is more for the general public. I have a buddy who showed me a picture from his first experience with another couple. It was an awesome photo. Yes, his sharing the photo was approved by all involved (and no faces were visible anyway). It was him standing on the edge of the bed, two women laid across the bed, he has one hand on the head of each women and they were licking him. Very, very sexy. My buddy is a stud. Never had an issue with stamina. Young (early 30s at the time), in crazy shape, handsome, educated...like I said, he's a stud. He told me that his encounter started with his wife and the other woman playing together. One eating the other, then switched, then a 69...."It was so amazing" he said with a ear-to-ear grin. Then the two ladies crawled naked over to him, looked at each other, kissed and then started licking his shaft at the same time. That's when the other husband took the photo. He said about 20 seconds after the photo was taken he blew his load. "I went from 0-10 instantly. My cock just started pumping". He shot cum all over the other wife's face, hit her in the eye, in her hair. His wife grabbed his shaft after a couple shots and put it in her mouth to stop the carnage. He said he was mortified. The other wife sat up onto her knees, his cum all over her face, in her hair. She was surprised. His wife was stunned he came instantly. The other husband standing on the other side of the bed looking at him. His cock went limp. The room was silent. Neither woman took his cock in her mouth. It was only licking of the side of the shaft, not even the head. "For some reason, I just came" he said. "I didn't feel all amped up, but I just started cumming". I don't think women really understand how temperamental a man's cock is. It can show up for no reason. It can fail to show when needed. Sometimes it goes away right in the middle of action. It can cum instantly or not at all. The dang thing is predictable....until it isn't. Us guys never know when it's going to act up. It's that terrible girlfriend/boyfriend you had in your early dating years. Great occasionally, terrible sometimes, so amazing occasionally that you put up with the roller coaster...and you never knew what you were going to get on any given day. So reading the original post, it was blatantly obvious that the guy cumming in her mouth was unexpected. On a side note.... On 6/15/2012 at 7:54 PM, Alicia1984 said: I'm with two guys, the other wife is playing with my husband and me, when boom. Not one minute into the blow job my mouth is full of cum. That is very sexy. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
couplers 4,718 Posted July 6, 2023 19 hours ago, let's do it again said: The first time I have any kind of sex with a new woman I usually cum faster that I want. That being said most of those women are ready to give me round 2. If a guy is so fast that she hasn't cum, it is his duty to offer her round two so she can finish. If he can't get it up, he needs to go down on her or find her another guy to finish the job if she prefers dick instead. Quote Share this post Link to post