How many swinger certifications do you have?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We finally broke down and decided to allow certs this time around. We now have one which actually came as a surprise from a couple we'd just met at a social. We accepted it mainly because there was nothing about it that implied they'd played with us. While looking through the list for our next party I'm noticing not only a lot of certs but quite a few going so far as to say no certs = no meet.

 

So, and how many certs do you have? Do you drop older ones in favor of new ones? Do you have a cut-off limit?

[ALilOEverything 901]

We have three, one for every year we've been active. When we get offered one I usually tell them we only accept one a year to show we're active but we prefer to not have a bunch so they aren't offended when we turn it down. So far so good and most everyone is understanding.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

We have no number in-mind as a limit. We have dropped a couple of them when the certifiers transmogrified from a couple into a single or some such thing. Otherwise, the certification stays even if we have not seen the people in a while.

 

When we give a certification, we stay away from references that imply play. "Hope to see much more of them", might seem cliche but we have used it more than once.

[km34 672]

I think we have three - all from people we've actually played with. We drop certs from people whose status changes (couple to single or single to couple). We only give certs to people who we would actually see ourselves seeing another time. I'm more likely to give someone a cert who has none than someone who has a lot since I know some people find them important to even consider meeting and a lot of people don't bother with giving them.

[angelkin 1,326]

We have 5 on sls and too many on szc. We recently dropped a cert on sls because we really don't want to see that particular couple again (long story). The ones on szc are mostly from people we met at a party, enjoyed conversationally but went no further. I have been contemplating paring those down to just those we consider friends. Matter of fact, I think I'll go do that now.

[Partyperks847 123]

Forty Four (44) certs on SLS

 

We have removed 2 over the years

[junglecouple 127]

that explains a lot. congrats?

[Partyperks847 123]

that explains a lot. congrats?

 

The two we removed were in one case, people with whom we had a personal falling out, the other was a someone who passed away.

All 46 only go back to 2009

[lovinher 505]

that explains a lot. congrats?

 

Explains what exactly? Is there something wrong with that? I can see a club owner getting a lot certs because I would assume they are very active in the lifestyle. But I don't care if someone has 100 or none. It's what we think of the couple/person that matters.

[Partyperks847 123]

Explains what exactly? Is there something wrong with that? I can see a club owner getting a lot certs because I would assume they are very active in the lifestyle. But I don't care if someone has 100 or none. It's what we think of the couple/person that matters.

 

It's actually just cause we are a totally awesome Triad ! (kidding)

[junglecouple 127]

We can tell by all the green dots under your name. Yep, you're awesome...

 

I too, owned a club for 11 years, I just don't fly vanity flags.

[lovinher 505]

Why don't you tell us why a lot of certs is a bad thing? What's your limit between good and bad?

[Partyperks847 123]

We can tell by all the green dots under your name. Yep, you're awesome...

I too, owned a club for 11 years, I just don't fly vanity flags.

 

Whats a vanity flag?

(Green dots under one's name?)

Our certs were unsolicited and from people who like us, who have met us in person, why would we not be proud of that and why would we dismiss or disrespect them by removing their comments?

I have heard from folks who say they don't really rely on certs, but I've never heard that they are a negative thing before, so I'm not sure what you're getting at

[sunbuckus 3,567]

For us, the only negative aspect of certs depends on the length of the actual cert. If there's just one short sentence, we usually view that cert as a fake one because it can be fabricated anywhere and probably from that couple/single with two accounts.

[Chicup 41]

0

 

We had two on our old profile.

 

Will continue to have zero for now

[noobwithboobs 22]

we have 1. from a couple that we met a few times, but never actually did get a chance to do anything with. We are free members, so I keep it cause it seems that helps people determine we are "real".

[yourluvrman 28]

SLS single profile = 54

AFF single profile = 7

SLS couples profiles 6, 4, and 4

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I don't think you should expect more than one or two sentences. We never write more or have more written about that on ours. You're not writing their biography.

 

We tend to only give certs after we've played with someone. I don't think you really know how they are until that happens. A lot of certs are just people who have met, so you can't assume someone has been with a lot of people from the number of certs they have.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

SLS single profile = 54

AFF single profile = 7

SLS couples profiles 6, 4, and 4

 

Just curious, why so many as a single male compared to the relatively few for each of the couples profile?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I don't think you should expect more than one or two sentences. We never write more or have more written about that on ours. You're not writing their biography.

 

I'm talking about certs that say, "They were fun." The writers are either fake or they just don't like to mince words. Either way, I discount those kinds of certs.

[yourluvrman 28]

Just curious, why so many as a single male compared to the relatively few for each of the couples profile?

 

I just have more requests to play as a single male. Especially at parties.

[Partyperks847 123]

I just have more requests to play as a single male. Especially at parties.

 

Why 4 SLS profiles?

[yourluvrman 28]

Why 4 SLS profiles?

 

Three profiles with 3 different playmates. and a Single profile.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Three profiles with 3 different playmates. and a Single profile.

 

There is a single man of our acquaintance who has five; known to us, at least. He might have others we have not discovered. Some single women seem to find advantage in "pairing up" with a guy for at least one of their on-line profiles.

[Partyperks847 123]

Three profiles with 3 different playmates. and a Single profile.

 

Got it...and you are ok by me my friend!

[yourluvrman 28]

Got it...and you are ok by me my friend!

 

Why thank you!

[Learning 160]

A big fat zero but that's the way I like it. If we were ever to get caught, a cert would make us for real. As I've said before, I find certs to be helpful on others. It gauged if they would even find us remotely interesting.

 

Since we are not dipping our toes in anything for a while, I listed our weight to 400 lbs. (which is not true) and not one hit in the past three months with an email. We were getting emails before and I didn't want to keep responding to "thanks but we are out for now".

[CandyCane 33]

On the website we belong to, they are called validations. Since we have been on that site for almost seven years our number has changed many times over the years. As of right now we have 35. We only accept and give validations to people that we have been able to get to know some. We know people that will just say hello to you at a club one night and the next day they are validating you and expecting one in return. With those we simply tell them we will accept one and return one after we get to know you. There are many people that are validation chasers, they try to see how many they can get in one outing.

[funcouple99 35]

We have like 6 or so. We could have more but think 3 to 6 a year looks good. We steer clear from profiles with over 30 or 40. We have met some awesome couples with 90+ on their profile ... and when we meet them in person and they are really cool (and hot) I let them know we didn't hit them up BECAUSE they had too many certs/validations.

We are all sluts but come one... let's not get too slutty. lol

[Fours Company 169]

So far at the time of this writing we only have one due to the simple fact we've only had success with the same amount of members since joining and really only paid for a membership and requested the cert just to prove we are "real" since we took some flack over being free members with no certs prior to that.

 

Personally we are on the fence over the whole cert issue and that some think that more makes someone "realer". It seems too much like bragging rights or claiming bedpost notches and though we might accept more if and when we meet more couples, as we stated it was more to establish initial cred and whether someone has none or is a free member matters not to us and will not affect our interest in them either way.

[yourluvrman 28]

... We have met some awesome couples with 90+ on their profile ... and when we meet them in person and they are really cool (and hot) I let them know we didn't hit them up BECAUSE they had too many certs/validations.

We are all sluts but come one... let's not get too slutty. lol

 

I resemble that remark. LOL. Last I looked I had 118, but that's just part of the story. I'm glad you realized that we can have certs and be 'cool'. There is no real thing as 'too many certs' :-)

[Heing&Sheing 75]

We have zero certs. We do not ask for them & don't really care if we get any or not. Some people seem all about them & some seem seem to forget that certs exist therefore don't do them.

 

What I don't like is that some use the certs to show off their "notches", some only cert for people they currently like & some for what they are actually for - to certify that a person/couple is real & shows up & is what they represent themselves to be. The latter would be the only certs I would accept if I ever did accept any.

-She

[Ebonylehigh 254]

We don't mind certs, especially if they tell how great a couple is, if a good amount of people are giving them props that's a couple we want to meet. We don't ask for certs, but we always return them. We asked for a few early when we started because we don't like the no cert look. But any we asked for were pretty sucky and we deleted them. We really keep only the great ones that we feel accurately describe us. I have to admit if we see someone who has a profile from a few years ago with no certs we pass.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Zero. It doesn't mean anything to us (wish that instead of this is someone we had sex with, it just meant that this couple/person has been verified and is a real couple/person) so we don't have them or try to obtain them.

[ExperienceNFun 23]

I can see the value of certifications when it comes to making sure people are real, but have found a lot of people really don't like the kiss and tell aspect. I've seen a few people who only want to meet certified people only, but those are pretty rare, and makes me wonder what bad experiences they must have had along the way.

[yourluvrman 28]

I can see the value of certifications when it comes to making sure people are real, but have found a lot of people really don't like the kiss and tell aspect. I've seen a few people who only want to meet certified people only, but those are pretty rare, and makes me wonder what bad experiences they must have had along the way.

 

The bad experiences is one of dealing with fakes, flakes, or just cheating husbands wanting a secret thrill. Couples have told be this is more common than not. That's why they value certs highly, and not only the amount, but the total demographic, and mutual friends in the LS network. Its saves a lot of time and BS that people have to go through.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Well, it has happened. We launched an introductory message that also included an invitation for a meeting. In the reply, although it was worded politely and diplomatically, they made it amply evident that we had frightened them with the number of certifications attached to our profile.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I don't quite understand the concerns about certs. We find them to be useful! Reading the certs on a profile can give us another valuable piece of information about a couple, right along with what they write about themselves. I think we give the proper weight to each cert we read, depending on how genuine it sounds and whether it seems like the people writing the cert know the subject couple well. If we are checking out a profile for people located in our area, we pay special attention to certs from people we know!

 

If you have a lot of certs, does that mean you are shallow, one-and-done, notches-on-the-bedpost people? No, and I would not jump to that kind of insulting conclusion. It might just mean that you are active, have been doing this for a while, or just have a lot of friends who feel inspired to write nice things about you!

 

In our case, after being in this thing for about 14 months, our current count of certs on SLS is 11. We have actually had one couple tell us that they backed away from us after one play date (a so-so experience, BTW), and another couple decide not to pursue meeting with us, because they said we were too "active". So, you'd be OK with us fucking you two, but if we do it with too many other people, that makes us undesireable?? I find that attitude insulting!

 

Our policy is to write certs for couples that we feel we know well (which generally means we have played with them), if and when we feel inspired to do so. We try to mention the things we like most about them, without going into technical details . Sometimes, but not all the time, the other couple is kind enough to write a cert for us, too, and we have had several occasions of our certs crossing the wires at the same time! We have never asked anyone to write a cert for us, and have never been asked to do so. And no one has ever asked us to change the content of a cert we've written, save one time that a couple requested that we leave their initials out of the text.