Unsafe situation? Can't decide.

[corynlaine 118]

So the other day we reached out to a couple whose profile was attractive, but the only image they had was a rather generic one - that frankly could have been taken of any woman at the mall with a cell phone.

 

We expressed our interest in chatting and meeting for a drink, but asked that we see some G pics of them to get an idea of what they look like.

 

"They" responded back with some flattering remarks (saying all the right things) and said that they were open any day this week.

 

We responded back that do to work, kids and family the first day we had was Friday and that we would be happy to meet at the location they suggested BUT we'd still need to see some pics so we could recognize them when we get there as we didn't believe they would walk in naked or with a big sign around their necks "we're the swingers couple"

 

They responded back that WE should send them our cell phone number and that they will be driving a x colored y make car and we should find them in the parking lot.

 

At first we thought that this was really HILARIOUS that people would actually expect us to walk up to every car (very popular model and color) in the parking lot - likely to be more than one at just about everywhere you go. Then we thought well maybe people actually do this - while we've been here for some time our experiences are rather limited as generally we just don't have the time this takes (really surprising thing to us).

 

But the more we think about this the more creeped out we are!?

 

Mostly because of the combination of the ad - where they're kind of targeting newbies, saying all the right things but ending up with asking a newbie couple to show up to a parking lot without giving out ANY info about themselves. We thought we'd share just so others can think about taking a moment to think about what they are stepping into because sometimes when we're excited and nervous we don't make the best decisions.

 

Or are we just being paranoid?

[cupl4fun 361]

Tough not to be a bit paranoid with all the freaks out there, but no it does not seem like you are being paranoid. If a couple will not send us a g-rated pic before we meet, then there is really no point in going. You are about to meet them face to face anyway, what are they trying to hide? We have some friends who had a similar experience and the "couple" turned out to just be a single guy (said his wife had gotten sick the last second). I guess he figured he could just dazzle them once they got there. If I was in your shoes I would simply move on.

Or, just send a nice note saying that you need to be able to see at least one pic of them or you will not be able to make the meeting, due to the high volume of freaks and liars out there.

[Alura 2,774]

I dunno... They don't know you any better than you know them. Are you picture collectors? How would they know you aren't? Your insistance on photos could suggest that.

 

You don't seem to be willing to share much information about yourselves. For instance, "Edge of Reason" is not a location, important information if a couple who lives in California doesn't wish to waste a lot of time trying to meet a couple who lives in Florida for coffee in New York.

 

We used to say, "She's tall; he's small," and meet at the front door of the coffee shop (afternoon preferred) or restaurant, not in the parking lot, where anything could happen.

 

I remember saying, "We'll be driving an orange Opel GT," but that's easier to pick out than a white Honda.

 

On thing we did insist upon was a phone conversation in which all four were on the phone at the same time. We never met a single male posing as a couple.

 

I think y'all need to compromise a bit. Both couples are taking the same risks.

 

Alura

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Tough not to be a bit paranoid with all the freaks out there, but no it does not seem like you are being paranoid. If a couple will not send us a g-ratd pic before we meet, then there is really no point in going. You are about to meet them face to face anyway. We have heard some of our friends have a similar experiences and the couple turned out to just be a single guy (said his wife had gotten sick the last second). If I was in your shoes I would simply move on.

 

What they said. Trust your gut.

 

They may be real, I know some people around here that will do their meetups in a walmart parking lot, but from what you are saying they probably aren't your type of people.

[tribbles 490]

I'm not thrilled with sending pics-even G rated ones and never, ever though any hook up site.

 

Iif you are not comfortable, just skip 'em. If you don't meet 'em the way they want, they probably will skip on you.

 

Everyone has their own levels of paranoia in this. It's okay, just be comfy with your own.

[corynlaine 118]

alura,

 

 

Our profile clearly states our location and we have both public pics and privaste pics (which we opened for this couple so they could see who we are)

 

I really don't get the no picture - I am not talking about explicit pics. But if you are willing to meet us and talk about sex why is it hard to take a pic from the last 4th of july party or company something or other - that could easily be explained as someone got it off the web if it comes to that.

 

This couple saw our pics and expected us to drive an hour + from our home to show up in a parking lot and look for a certain color car?! People actually meet like this?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm not thrilled with sending pics-even G rated ones and never, ever though any hook up site.

 

 

Just curious how you handle meeting others if you aren't willing to send any sort of pics out before-hand?

Always nice to hear the other side of the story.

 

On another note, we had a couple contact us a few weeks ago. They had pictures of her in their profile, but none of him (it's stated in our profile that we require that before meeting). When I asked them about opening pics (initially only 1 or 2 were open) they opened more and they were still all of her (I had clearly asked for pics of both) of them. We went one more round of this with a response of that's all we have on here, we might could send you more via email. (Their albums still showed two private pics unopened). At that point we just dropped it. My thought at that point is it's just as easy to upload said pics to SLS (and make them private to share when needed) as it is to email them. I never doubted they were real, we just like to know that we are both interested in the couple before we go through the trouble of meeting. We did end up meeting them Saturday night at a social and they were a really nice couple, but I wasn't really into him (go figure).

[km34 672]

We had our comp crash at one point and didn't have any pictures on our computer, and I couldn't find the cord to my camera to get pictures off of it so there were about 2 months when we had no pictures to share. We met one couple during this time that we did the whole brief description of ourselves thing and then car type and color and met at a coffee shop. It worked out fine. Slightly different situation since it wasn't that we weren't willing to share pics, we just didn't have them easily accessible at the time, but it was a situation where the primary mode of recognition was our car. It was also a bit unique, though, since I was driving a Pontiac TranSport van at the time (the kind with the pointy nose) and there weren't many of those around.

 

Generally, though, we do insist on sharing and seeing G-rated pics. I honestly have no desire for naked pics of others, but I do think it is pretty important to narrow down that there is at least a 50% chance that there will be attraction all around before setting up a meet.

 

I would agree that if for whatever reason they won't do pics, a phone call would be necessary. In the US, you can get a free number through Google and have the calls directed to whatever real number you want so they wouldn't have to provide you with their real phone numbers if they didn't want to, but you could all still verify that there is indeed a man and woman in each couple.

 

Also, since they are so far away, why aren't you picking a spot in the middle? That seems a bit ridiculous. The only time we've asked people to drive that far for us is when there is something exciting going on in the city that we want to do. If we're just meeting at a restaurant or coffee shop or park or parking lot, we meet halfway if it is over 30-45 minutes (unless the other couple volunteers to do the drive for whatever reason or if they have kids we'll volunteer to drive to them since we don't since that makes it easier to be away for longer).

[Alura 2,774]

alura,

 

 

Our profile clearly states our location and we have both public pics and privaste pics (which we opened for this couple so they could see who we are)

 

I really don't get the no picture - I am not talking about explicit pics. But if you are willing to meet us and talk about sex why is it hard to take a pic from the last 4th of july party or company something or other - that could easily be explained as someone got it off the web if it comes to that.

 

This couple saw our pics and expected us to drive an hour + from our home to show up in a parking lot and look for a certain color car?! People actually meet like this?

 

Thanks for the clarification. I'll go along with most of the others and say, "Move on." There is a street named after this couple in downtown Tulsa. It's called "One Way."

 

Alura

[cupl4fun 361]

I really don't get the no picture - I am not talking about explicit pics. But if you are willing to meet us and talk about sex why is it hard to take a pic from the last 4th of july party or company something or other - that could easily be explained as someone got it off the web if it comes to that.

 

Yeah, we really don't get the no picture thing either. I understand not wanting explicit pictures of you out there on the net. This is why we never send explicit pics which show our face or any other recognizable features (tattoos on mrs. cupl). But, g-rated pics? You can find those of us almost anywhere. If I google my name it pulls up pics of me in Google images (not sure exactly how they got there, but they are there). We don't send any pics that we don't already have available on facebook, so we just don't see what harm can come from it.

[corynlaine 118]

Just curious how you handle meeting others if you aren't willing to send any sort of pics out before-hand?

Always nice to hear the other side of the story.

 

On another note, we had a couple contact us a few weeks ago. They had pictures of her in their profile, but none of him (it's stated in our profile that we require that before meeting). When I asked them about opening pics (initially only 1 or 2 were open) they opened more and they were still all of her (I had clearly asked for pics of both) of them. We went one more round of this with a response of that's all we have on here, we might could send you more via email. (Their albums still showed two private pics unopened). At that point we just dropped it. My thought at that point is it's just as easy to upload said pics to SLS (and make them private to share when needed) as it is to email them. I never doubted they were real, we just like to know that we are both interested in the couple before we go through the trouble of meeting. We did end up meeting them Saturday night at a social and they were a really nice couple, but I wasn't really into him (go figure).

 

We're at the point where we wish that the site would REQUIRE that a pic of BOTH be shown if they list as a couple. I nkow that there have been threads on this

But I just don't GET IT - What are all these couples thinking who have 3,4, dozens of pics of her but not a single one of him in a suite and tie. IT's almost like these types of profiles are just people (whether she knows or not) getting off on people looking at their pics.

 

As a guy, I have ZERO interest in seeing another picture of a womans butt (doggie style) EVER if that's all you ahve to offer, and we're pretty much at the point where if there is no pic of him up we won't bother beyond 1 e-mail.

[MrsPandMe 150]

^^^^^^^

THAT

 

We are the same way. It drives Mrs. P absolutely nuts when we get solicited by a couple that has 99 pics of her and ZERO pics of him. Look, I'm no looker by any means, but there are plenty of pics of me and Mrs. P together. We might cut down on the quantity of our responses, but our quality is MUCH higher.

 

If we want to see a bunch of tits and ass, we'll go to youporn. On a swinger site we'd really rather just see clear G rated pics of the both of you.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

we're pretty much at the point where if there is no pic of him up we won't bother beyond 1 e-mail.

 

We've been at that point for a long time. We don't even initiate contact with a couple if there's not at least some kind of picture of him.

 

So what happened with this? Did you meet them or bail?

[corynlaine 118]

We've been at that point for a long time. We don't even initiate contact with a couple if there's not at least some kind of picture of him.

 

So what happened with this? Did you meet them or bail?

 

OH, we bailed!

[johnnysee2 15]

this is johnnysee2 here, and NO ! I wouldn't walk up to anyone who don't want to show their own pictures with you and then it could be false pictures, I think you should meet in person at a club that you have been 2 and trust first, it's a good place to find out what they look like and you have some people around you who could help you if you neeeded it... Stay safe when your looking for some excitment in your life...John

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

If they are not willing to share pictures the likelihood is high that they are not happy with the way they look and you won't be either. There are exceptions, but this has been our experience. We insist on exchanging face pics before meeting, unless it's just a see you at the club meeting.

[Just Passing By 140]

I am an outspoken advocate of Precognition ( aka little voice) and it has saved me from life and death situations ( non-swinging contexts) .By all means when you get feelings like you describe, avoid.

 

That being said there is a much higher norm and expectation of pics now than when * we did what we used to do * , and the ways we mainly met people didn't involve pictures. I am situationally Luddite , and the last time I knew how to do any type of uploading , I involved Windows95 , and SVGA format. We have posed for G rated film picture with our friends.

 

But even in the Stone Age , the whole point of meeting somewhere is to meet in a PUBLIC place. Meet at a restraunt , coffe shop , etc instead of the parking lot.

[JonMeg2112 126]

We put in our profile on SLS that we will share pics with anyone interested (G-rated or whatever) and we expect the same. Every couple is different but from our perspective our time is sometimes limited and valuable so we certainly would want to see who we are meeting beforehand. We do understand people not putting pictures on their profiles but if we are communicating through, chat, email, text or phone and talking about meeting we think it's not unrealistic to expect to see who we are getting to know before we meet.

[LiveLoveHaveFun 114]

We wouldn't meet without seeing some pictures first. We're usually up front with that at the very beginning.

 

Alicia.