When did you first hear about "swinging"?

[desiree 61]

Hi everyone, I'm kind of new here so I hope this is the right place to post this question. I am curious how everyone found out that swinging even exists. I mean, it's not like there are billboards on the street or ads on TV for swinger clubs, right?

 

I will tell you my story. When I was just 22, the guy I was dating at the time (now my husband) dared me to go to an orgy with him (he knows I can never resist a dare). I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, like people just have orgies all the time! He's totally pulling my leg!" So I called his bluff--or so I thought. I told him that if he could find an orgy, I'd go to one.

 

Well, it turns out he already knew about swing clubs (saw them in the back of magazines at sex shops) so he knew where to take me. I had no clue. And I wasn't exactly a shy little virgin, but this was totally new territory for me.

 

Anyway, this was in the early 90's before the Web was available. I assume these things are easier to find now, but I don't know. So I thought I'd ask you all how you even learned about the existence of swinging?

[VegasLee 1,486]

I was raised around it as a "Lifestyle".

 

Back way before it was just a weekend hobby as it is for most in today's world.

 

I guess I "learned" but have never thought about it that way, it was a natural part of my life and still is.

[ViSexual 1,008]

I had an aunt and uncle who delved into it and my parents and other aunts and uncles whispered about them loudly.

 

You know, I really liked that aunt and uncle and realized that they were the happiest couple in my family.

 

They're both deceased now but they shared a long, happy, marriage. I think my folks and other aunts and uncles were simply envious.

[couplers 4,634]

I didn't learn about the lifestyle (actually poly) until after I was in it. After getting married while still keeping my old boyfriend, young and naive, I started looking on the web to see whether anyone else had such an arrangement. I had heard about orgies and swingers, but it was on this Board that I actually found out it could be something that married couples share in a loving way. It also pushed me to challenge my jealous thinking about hubby ever having other sex partners to the point where I set up his first playdate within our marriage with my friend. Now hubby has a steady gf too and I am a strong believer that marriage and nonmonogamy actually go together to increase happiness all around.

 

I had an aunt and uncle who delved into it and my parents and other aunts and uncles whispered about them loudly.

 

You know, I really liked that aunt and uncle and realized that they were the happiest couple in my family.

 

They're both deceased now but they shared a long, happy, marriage. I think my folks and other aunts and uncles were simply envious.

 

 

About being envious - my sister is the only one that knows about our poly arrangement and she is envious over what we are getting out of it and how smoothly it works. She and her husband have fallen into the trap of trying to live up to society's expectations of what a marriage should be. They both had many sex partners before marriage, and my sister has had sex with three different guys since getting married (although she doesn't think two of them count since she sleep with them before marriage). Each time after it ended she confessed and her husband gave the socially expected minor performance about her "adultery" then they went back to being a normal, functioning couple. My take is that she likes the extracurricular sex and he thinks it's hot, but they're afraid to acknowledge it and work out an arrangement.

[ALilOEverything 901]

I learned about it when I was around 15 (probably 1989) when I found my parents' Michigan Connection magazine. I admittedly read the whole thing cover to cover and was intrigued. My mom denies to this day she ever did anything but admits to being close enough to sharing a couple letters to see what it was like to be with another woman.

 

I learned about the parties in 2000 when we picked up a book of Sexy New York City when we were on vacation in NYC. I wasn't bold enough to do anything and envisioned it as a free for all and I didn't feel that was for me. I found out when I joined Swingersboard in 2004 that there were socials all over the U.S., not just in the city and also found out they weren't really all that intimidating and finally went to one shortly thereafter.

[hardrockers70 16]

My ex hubs and I had a very open marriage...we hosted tons of parties at our house where all sorts of kinky things happened. When we separated, I thought of myself as the proverbial "slut" although I loved playing with couples. As I was describing my lifestyle to a new friend, she said I wasn't a slut, but a single swinger. I decided I liked that term so much better, and it stuck. I did seek out couples mostly back then. It seemed that with couples, I was indeed a playmate...other singles always seemed to want more out of the relationship than I wanted at that time.

 

Knowing now what I knew then, I knew as soon as I started dating current hubs that I wanted this LS for us as a couple. The rest is history!

 

Mrs. HR

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

JoAnn saw on Oprah a movie-maker who had made a documentary about swinging. Oprah also had some swinger couples as guests. So she asked me, "would you and I ever do that?" That was six years ago. We each had vague concepts before and would have recognized the word "swinger". Time has proved that our concepts were all wrong. In retrospect, Oprah's guests represented the lifestyle accurately. A rare thing for TV.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I'm not sure exactly how or when I first heard of swinging, but has been many years ago. I guess I kind of had vague notion of it from media or sneaking off and "reading" Playboy as a kid. I have know it was out there for years, but had more the image of "key party" in my head. I learned more about it when my wife brought up wanting to try some different things and I searched the internet. I had no idea that there would be local socials or so much information and opportunity to hook on the web.

 

Ain't life grand.

[exploringRM 305]

Both of us knew of swinging but we thought it was a thing of the 70's, long gone. Sort of what was dramatized on Swingtown. We were in Vegas in 2006 and I picked up a free newspaper that had the escorts advertised...just for research, lol. I read an add for the Green Door. I went to the website and checked it out, saw that it was a sex club but really did not know anything about it or swinging. At that time nothing was done with that knowledge. In 2008 we returned to Vegas and I recalled that club and asked my wife if she wanted to go. She was game, but got cold feet at the door. But we talked about it and she asked me to see what is around our home area. I did some internet searches found AFF and Swing Lifestyle as well as several clubs in our area.

[sahajacpl 95]

We first read about couples having sex in each other's company in an old book called "Joy of Sex". The book also talked about key parties where couples who got together for a party, threw their keys in a bowl, and, the men picked up a key belonging to another couple. The guy and the woman had intercourse with each other, i.e., with someone else's wife or hubby. This was then called "wife swapping", a derogatory term now. We thought it was just a fantasy. Though, at that time we did swap partners with another couple we knew, where the other couple's wife suggested that we exchange partners for sexual intercourse.

 

The internet, later on, helped us a great deal to learn that swinging was indeed something couples did, where they exchanged mates, to spice up their marriage, and, to enjoy sex with a variety of partners.

 

Some point in time, we came across the Swingersboard, that helped us learn a great deal about swinging, and, where and how to find like-minded couples willing and eager to swap mates for social as well as sexual intercourse.

[Alura 2,774]

We were introduced to the idea on our second date when a couple "picked us up" in a Mexican Restaurant in Germany, invited us to their apartment, and eventually had all four of us naked on their bed for massages when the wife invited us to "swap mates."

 

Although we'd fucked ourselves silly on our first date, we hadn't had time to discuss "wife-swapping," so we politely declined. The drive home was a running conversation about the subject, which nearly resulted in our driving back and saying, "Is that invitation still open?" But we didn't. We fantasized about the idea when we got to bed, though.

 

Two years later we had a one-time full swap experience and shortly after that found a couple with whom we swapped mates regularly for several years.

 

Alura

[cocpl2007 170]

Two different ways. During Mr. Co’s first marriage, it was the pillow talk which evolved after watching porn together. The “Onion” used to run ads, which seemed to us to indicate there were other “couples” interested in meeting. So we ran a similar “ad” and low and behold we were contacted by the very first couple with whom we played. As it evolved, perhaps some here remember AOL? AOL used to enable the search of member “profiles.” The keyword “couples” was used to alert others searching that there was indeed an interest. Turns out, that system was many fold times better for actually meeting compatible couples that the commercial sites nowadays, AFF and SLS.

 

The second. When we first began dating Mr. Co shared his prior experience with the lifestyle. Mrs. Co was intrigued, and expressed an interest in exploring her bi side, but did not want to play alone, so to speak. Thus far any couples we’ve met have been via the commercial sites… what a minefield!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

For me it's kind of like asking "how did you know about sex?". I have no idea... I just remember when I was kid making my Barbies simulate it. Same thing with swinging. The first time I remember something about it coming up was about a year before I got married when someone mentioned that a friend of mine and his wife had an open relationship. I remember, at the time, thinking that wasn't cool... it was ok to screw around if you weren't married, but THEY WERE MARRIED! LOL.

[willyoats 324]

It's so long ago that I don't really remember any details. 40 years ago my wife had an affair that really turned me on when I found out about it. We had friends at that time we did some soft swap with. They had already had other partners. I got the idea that being married was not a reason not to have sex with other women. Eventually, we did and had many wonderful years with many wonderful people.

[angelkin 1,326]

An older thread got me thinking about when I first heard the word "swinger". I guess I find this to be quite a funny and backward chain of events...but the first time I heard the term "swinger" used to describe a sexual subculture was about six years ago when I met my current husband. We were discussing our escapades and researching open relationships when I learned about swinging.

 

I especially find this amusing because I had been participating in swinging and experimental NSA sex for a very long time...the first alternative experience I had was a small gangbang (we called it a train) at age 16. From age 16 to age 19, I participated in several threesomes, swap situations, same room (or car) sex, and an open relationship. At age 19, I rented a porno with one lady and 2 guys on the cover and began to fantasize about having two men at the same time. Many years later that fantasy came to fruition.

 

Having experienced all of that, I still never heard of swinging. So strange to know I lived it and didn't know it had a label except for "slut" LOL.

 

So, when did you first hear about swinging and how did that correlate to your first actual exposure to swinging?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I was vaguely aware of wife swapping, but as a 70s phenomenon exclusive to middle aged and middle class married couples. The first time I heard the word "swinger" was in 2002, in a book by Dan Savage on the Seven Deadly Sins. That's when I discovered it was a far more diverse group than I'd realized.

 

As I'd been participating in threesomes and other sexually adventurous configurations since adolescence (including ongoing adventures with a trio of brothers), I thought there might be a place for me too. There was.

[ViSexual 1,008]

We, actually, joined a club in 1979. Oklahoma Swingers, Inc. Alura, did you and Mrs. Alura know about that club?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

The first I remember the word swinger used within the context of my present understanding was on a television programme, The Jeffersons. Louise, George Jefferson's wife, had just been introduced to Harry Bently at a house party. Louise, knowing that Harry is married, asks him where was his his wife. Harry answers, "at home with a man." Louise gets a knowing look, raises one eyebrow and says, "Oh, I see. I've heard of swingers." The TV programme was 1975 to 1985, according to IMDb so I must have hear it somewhere within that time span.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

I recall the first time I heard the term "swingers" in this context was overhearing my parents joking with some friends of theirs about a personal ad in the paper. In retrospect one wonders... but doesn't want to know.

 

I know I heard the term later, in popular entertainment, for a while but never understood it. I actually first found out what swinging really was about 8 or 9 years ago when my wife and I met a young couple who was into "polyamory." About the same time, I heard a news story on the radio that mentioned swingers. I did some internet research and a whole new world opened up.

 

Sadly, I would have liked to have known about it years before that. My college girlfriend and I probably wanted to have a swinger relationship but since we didn't know the concept even existed we just ended up having a lot of unnecessary drama.

[TxAggieCpl96 15]

I think it was on a HBO special on the lifestyle. Years ago. I looked at my hubby and said that sounds like fun. Here we are...

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I was a voracious reader, even in my early teens, and there is a lot to be learned from popular fiction even from the public library Near as I recall, from some book is when I first became aware of the term and what it meant. No idea what book it may have been though.

 

Fast forward a few years from that, and I had a girlfriend whose biological parents (both had remarried) were in a nasty custody battle that was the talk of the town. Swinging was part of that story. I don't know that it ever was really part of the court case, but it was openly being spread around by one faction and their friends trying to tear down the other side. I asked her about it, and although she had never seen anything herself, she thought it was probably true. In talking about that, I got a fair understanding of how it all might work and what it was all about. Interestingly, she didn't really have a problem with it other than the usual teenager's disgust and disbelief that old people, meaning 30+, actually still had sex. She was pretty adventurous for her age, and I've always wondered if maybe she might have gotten into swinging herself later in life.

[Alura 2,774]

We, actually, joined a club in 1979. Oklahoma Swingers, Inc. Alura, did you and Mrs. Alura know about that club?

 

We weren't aware of a club. It must have been in Oklahoma City. There were a couple of magazines with similar names. One was just a local thing published on an 8.5X11" paper by a clerk at a local Adult Book and toy store. That was in the early eighties. They also had a corkboard "Swingers Bulletin Board" where a couple could thumb-tack a 3X5" card. Messages were left with the management for $1.00 and relayed to the couple. I believe there was also a "Swingers" magazine published in Oklahoma City but sold at our local book store. We met our first long-term Playcouple through it, when we answered their ad. The Tulsa book stores also had locations in Oklahoma City. I think one was called "Naughty n Nice."

 

From the time we met in 1980, Mrs. Alura and I were interested in "Spouse Swapping" a phrase we chose over "Wife Swapping" which seemed to be the usual term for the sport.

 

When I was a young man in my early twenties (about a half-century ago) a "Swinger" was a "feller" who dated a lot of different women and was pretty good at dancing to Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys" or Glenn Miller's bands. Wills developed "Western Swing Music." {"Take me back to Tulsa (I'm too young to marry)", "San Antonio Rose," "Careless Love..."}, A "Swinger" could also have been a "Playboy" or a Rodeo Cowboy who dated a lot of different "girls."

[km34 672]

I don't think I actually heard the word swingers until I was 18 and we found SLS. Too bad we hadn't, or our high school years probably would have been a lot more fun...

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

One night in the hot tub my husband said to me, "I was looking for porn online and I found this website (sls). Have you ever heard of swinging?"

 

I said, "Like Austin Powers? That's only in the movies, real people don't do that."

 

We found the swingers board and learned there are tons of great real people who do that! Thankfully, we have not met any single guys with teeth like Austin though!

[sweet_tna 680]

I was so naive, it's not even funny. When Mr. Sweet and I were still dating, we were watching The Dinner Party, and I didn't get that it was "that kind of party." I'm not even sure when I first became aware of swinging, exactly, but the next time I saw that movie, I just figured it was some special club for rich people. When our good friends told us about their new hobby, I was surprised that regular, every day people did this stuff. But boy howdy, was I interested to learn more . . .

 

=)

[TwoSexyMI 151]

I was 19 and heard a vague reference to "swingers" at a party. "she is a swinger, so is her cousin". At the time I thought it was horrid. Lol. Who could do that when they are in love?! They must really not be in love. :p

 

At age 25 I found myself single and knew some of my coworkers (who were good friends at the time) were into it. I attended 2 on premise parties with them and was in awe....I only watched, danced, drank those times and didn't want to play. I had a fmf with no real female interaction that summer, with a guy I was seeing off and on, and a friend....and I filed those in the "good stories" memory. Then, nothing for years really until I approached Hubby with the idea of me being with a girl. Now at nearly 32, first experience is just a week behind me.

 

This site has been a huge help as far as my education is concerned.

 

The Mrs.

[LFM2 1,482]

I thought I was worldly for a small Idaho girl, but my ignorance shines through, even today.

 

The first time I heard the word *swinger* was during Austin Powers movies. I went with the definition of a swinger being a man who sleeps around. I had no idea it was married people swapping mates or people who have a sexually free spirit. Whodathunkit?

 

Dave on the other hand knew about swinging or wife swapping in high school... but then, he grew up in California.. Go figger.

[Syren 15]

When I was in Highschool, I heard that one of my teachers was a swinger. The bug was planted and when it was time I did my reseach to find out what swinging was all about. I have been a swinger since 2007.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Do you recall how you first heard about swinging? What's your story?

[Fours Company 169]

The very first time I even knew such a thing existed I guess would be in my early teens when I found some swinger's mags mixed in with my father's porn stash. I likely don't think I understood the whole concept (hell, I was just discovering what female bodies looked like and what those images did to my parts ), so it was more like just additional nudie pictures to look at then imagining couples wanting to meet other couples for sex. Even later on when I figured out more about sex, I really didn't delve too deep into the meaning of those mags and even to this day, don't know if my parent's possession of them meant anything or not (don't really want to either).

 

My first true epiphany as to exactly what the LS entailed and how one gets involved in it didn't come till many years later after getting our first computer with an internet connection (Windows 98 I remember you well) and stumbling upon whatever web sites and personals that were around then that got us talking about if that would be something the other would be interested in. Those discussions eventually lead to us placing our first ad and actively searching first for the elusive unicorn and when the futility set in, changing it to seeking couples and eventually our first time that kicked off the whole shebang (hebang too ).

[asncpl 729]

My older sister told me about it and got me into the LS. She learned it when a ex-boyfriend took her to a swingers club.

[libertymoon 25]

The husband asked me if I was interested in looking into it after sharing fantasies about having a MFM threesome. But I think the first hint of seeing something "swinger-y" was coming upon a video that showed two couples having sex next to each other. That excited me! Whether they were just doing same room sex or actual swapping is unknown though.

[mrmrsjiggly 111]

My sister told my wife stories about some of the encounter she had been having. We got our toes we then jumped right in. My wife and I have know each other since we were in our mid teens and she recently reminded me that one of our first sexual encounters involved another girl being in a broom closet with us while we were doing the typical teenage heavy petting. Apparently we were swingers from the beginning and did not know it.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I first heard of swinging in high school back in the early/mid 80s. I had a girlfriend and we were madly in love. One evening, she was a bit distraught and wanted to confide in me. She told me her parents were swingers. Not to go into details, but they, in my opinion, broke a lot of rules, did some shit we'd frown on, and kind of screwed their kids up over it for a while.

 

Hell, they managed to turn me as a 17 year old off from the idea for a long time.

[MrDiscover 802]

I grew up with partner swapping parents, but only learned of the word 'swinging' a few years ago.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

MrDiscover, it sounds like you still have some stories to tell...

 

In HS (back in the 70's) I read Heinliens books about open relationships (the Lazarus Long series; Stranger in a Strange Land, Time Enough for Love, etc) and that introduced the idea of swinging to me. There were also still whispers about the movie 'Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice' (1969) that was about...you know,...sex (although I never saw the movie until maybe two years ago...my how times have changed as '50 Shades of Grey' is about to hit the theaters). Also, since most men have the fantasy of a FFM, me (with my over-analyzing mind) quickly figured out that it was probably easier to get two couples together and have each guy have a FFM than finding a single female. Of course I never actually thought that I would be involved with any of this until a couple of years ago and thanks to the help of an amazing woman (yes I mean Ms. Gold).

[MrDiscover 802]

MrDiscover, it sounds like you still have some stories to tell...

 

Not really, my parents knew very well the difference between being honest and too open towards kids. Unlike many other parents in the 70s, as I learned later by the way. Mind you, in the 70s the whole perspective on sexuality was different and much (too?) open in the progressive part of the society, although even then this was a small part of the whole population. So I knew they were active members of the NVSH but that was it. Since relations and sex was not a taboo, I also thought nothing special about all the special friends they had.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

I grew up with partner swapping parents, but only learned of the word 'swinging' a few years ago.

 

Now you've got me wondering what my kid is going to think about these things when he gets older. He knows that his dad and his babysitter are dating and that his mom is happy about it.

[let's do it again 414]

Our high school teachers had a group of swingers which was a rumor until a buddy and his girlfriend was invited to a party at one of the teacher's home. He told me that they were approached to participate but declined. Later I found out that a girl in my class went to one of their parties and ended up pregnant! I had always heard of swinging, but this was the first times that I knew participants first hand. My first experience was a double date and the other couple asked if they could watch us fuck, they did, it was such a turn on that I have never quit.

[J&Wu 408]

Back in the late 70's or 80's Wu mentioned that our physician neighbor and his wife were swingers, I had some clue what she was talking about but we had other fish to fry in those days. Eventually I noticed an ad for one of the swinger magazines in a vanilla magazine on one of those enclosed ad sheets back in the days before internet. I subscribed for a while and in the meantime we joined the nudist community and ASA. We enjoyed nude cruising and eventually went on one of the swinger nude cruises where we met a couple who were members of Club Relate which we eventually joined.

[SheernylonCpl 38]

Both set of parents in our relationship were and are swingers so both of us were raised in the wonderful open lifestyle