Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Some background:

 

A little over 1 year ago we met this couple through a swinging personal ad site. We got along with them *apparently* very well and had some fun times with them over the course of last summer. All of the sudden, they more or less disappear and we really don't hear from them until just a couple days ago.

 

The situation:

 

He IM's C a couple days ago and they start chatting, catching up so to speak. He lets her know that his wife is in another state for the next few days on some family business. You guessed it, he tried to worm his way into a 3some with us.*

 

*Not that I/we would mind too much but given the fact its the first time we hear from either one of them in almost a year and the first thing he wants is a 3some....no way

 

We more or less laughed and shrugged it off. Well...yesterday he messages C again and this time he started off with "I WANT TO FUCK YOU LIKE A NASTY WHORE" and then he proceded to tell her his wife thinks I am too much of a bottom and don't know how to fuck on top and he remembers how C got into it when he was banging her and he wants to give her a *real* fucking, etc etc etc

 

C tells him repeatedly to knock it off and he keeps bugging her. The last thing he said to her before she put him on ignore is "YOU NEED TO BE PUMPED BAD"

 

Ok, I know this isn't how most male halves of swinging couples act. However, am I justified in wanting to beat the fuck out of this guy for completely disrespecting C and talking to her like some kind of cheap whore and more or less breaking our trust of him? (we thought he was a decent guy and could be trusted with C's personal Aol instant messenger information)

Share this post


Link to post

I just want to follow up by saying I dont advocate any violence and whatnot but this whole incident has crossed my threshold for "being nice" ... grrr :mad:

Share this post


Link to post

HUmm ! ---------:confused:

 

a whole year and then all he wants is sex!

 

to the curb! and quick ....

 

forget the revenge..life is short...enjoy the fresh smell of flowers!

 

(oh and send him a nice letter via snail mail addressed to his wife)

Share this post


Link to post

Hey J

I think you are more than justified for wanting to beat the guy. However I don't think I would be worth it. Especially if he presses assault charges. Then you with have dealings with him for a long time to come. Hopefully ignoring him works and if you want revenge I highly agree in letting the wife know of his doings. In the long run it may be more painful than any good face pounding and it saves you the bruises.

Boy I just sound evil don't I? :evil:

Take care :)

Share this post


Link to post

This guy sounds a bit off his rocker. I hope he doesn't know your address or too much personal stuff. I'd vote for just ignoring him and letting him go find someone else to harrass. You sure don't need him going around your neighborhood or work telling everyone about what you do in your spare time. It's just not a good idea to provoke a rabid dog.

J

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by fun_pairTX

Log his IM's and send them to his wife.

 

I second that one. Would probably do a lot more to hurt him than beating him would.... and it would still give you some satisfaction.

Share this post


Link to post

I have to agree with everybody else, he isnt worth messing with. I would definetely ignore him and let the wife know what he said to your wife and hopefully he will leave you both alone.

Share this post


Link to post

There will be no getting rid of him, ignoring him will just piss him off and make him try harder. Be proactive not passive.

When you battle strike decisively and repeatedly until the results are plain.

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by Vjklander

This guy sounds a bit off his rocker. I hope he doesn't know your address or too much personal stuff. I'd vote for just ignoring him and letting him go find someone else to harrass. You sure don't need him going around your neighborhood or work telling everyone about what you do in your spare time. It's just not a good idea to provoke a rabid dog.

J

First off JandCMI, I would be just as ticked off as you are. You have every right to feel that way. I will not do online or email chitter chatter sex talk with anyone and I would be highly offended if they tried to do so with me. I don't care if I have screwed them twenty times, what I have done in the bedroom has no place online for me. This guy has crossed a big line in my book. However, as Jamie said, it isn't a good idea to provoke a rabid dog. If it makes you feel better to do so, vent it all you want right here, but don't do it with the idiot in question.

 

Does this person know your home address or just your personal e-mail address and IM?

 

Having recently dealt with a situation in which I had to change my personal address (we are on AOL which is bad when it comes to whatever your sign on name is, as it is also your e-mail address) due to harrassment. (The harrassment was not by a swinger friend). If you are on AOL, no amount of blocking will do if they have your name. In our case the person continually created new names and sent e-mails and IM's. After a couple of months, I transferred all my information to a newly created screen name and notified those that I wished to continue to have it. And I blocked everyone with the exception of those that I physically must add to my IM list. It was the only way to end the frustration.

 

Hopefully this person does not have your home address or phone number. That is a whole other situation that isn't so easily correctable with the click of 'delete'.

 

Good luck and let us know how this plays out for you.

Share this post


Link to post

As Granny used to say: "Do not get into a pissing contest with a skunk. You will not win!"

 

This is obviously a low life, double dealing, lying, no-moraled son of a gun. Having any involvement with him what-so-ever will NOT elevate him to your level, merely lower you to his. And I do not believe that is a place you want to be.

 

Block him from writing to you, screen your phone calls with caller i.d. or your answering machine.

 

Gain your vicarious enjoyment by considering all the possible scenarios of vengence you could bestow upon him. Picture it in your mind, and if need be - laugh demoniacly and gleefully.

 

He said his wife was out of town for a "few days", so this shouldn't go on for long. The timing of the contact from him is a clear indication he and his Mrs. had not discussed this prior to her family business trip. Her return will put a stop to his advances.

 

At this juncture however, I am in disagreement with the other posters in this thread.

 

There is no doubt his life would be impacted by his wife being informed of his duplicity. However, the reason for that would be because his wife would be very hurt. And SHE has done nothing to deserve that sort of disregard.

 

Additionally, if it is believed he would retaliate ten-fold if phsically assaulted - imagine his desire for revenge if his marriage is impacted. Knowing you have made his life hell is not worth causing pain to her. Her role as his wife will make life difficult enough.

 

Do not delude yourself for a moment that he would recognize it as a result of HIS actions; YOU and YOURS would be targeted in some form or fashion.

 

It is disappointing to discover, even after a year's time, that you were mistaken about this man's character. You have said though, that the relationship was over. So bury it and go on from here.

 

P.S. One other item: be certain that you and your Mrs. are in total agreement about how this is going to be dealt with, now and/or in the future. It loses considerable impact for one of you to draw a line in the sand if the other is not of the same accord.

Share this post


Link to post
Originally posted by wrnakedru

As Granny used to say: "Do not get into a pissing contest with a skunk. You will not win!"

...and everything else wrnakedru said is about as sensible as it comes. -EBF

Share this post


Link to post

But you've got to admit that it would be a lot of fun to fill his brand new convertable with a load of wet cement, or if you might know any hog farmers....mmmmmm???

Seriously, this guy is an asshole with a capitol A.....forget that you ever knew him, and if you ever do by chance catch him alone with no witnessess.....well......nobody saw a thing, so it's his word against yours and "no, your honor, I really have no idea whatsoever as to why his balls were found in that alley.

Sportync

Share this post


Link to post

While this guy is clearly a major league asshole, and it might give you great satisfaction to open a really big can of whoopass on the boy...I would just drop it. You've blocked him on IM, don't respond to any emails or the like, just let 'em go. And that includes not sending the transcript of your wife's online conversation to his wife.

 

If the guys knows much about you all, such as where you live, common friends/acquaintences, etc, he could cause you all sorts of problems by spreading information about you (true or not) around in places where you might not want it.

 

If you were still in high school you might get away with strumming his gourd, but not now. Just let your silence speak and leave it at that.

 

Bear

Share this post


Link to post

Very simple---block his e-mail addy and take him off your IM with a block list. He won't know if you are online. Blow him off as a lesson learned.

Share this post


Link to post

Personally I like the logging and sending the messages to his wife idea...

 

Another thing to consider is this, since you say he had seemed to be a very decent fellow then became as crass as a teen punk, are you sure it was him? Recently, a friend I hadn't chatted with suddenly IMed me and was really stupid and rude. It turned out NOT to have been him but he had been in an internet caffe and forgot to log off his AOL name....oops...

 

Another friend had a real bitch of time last year as well. He decided to restrict his teen sons access to the PC and the net and took messures to do so. Well, his boy knew more about it than he and reversed everything including changing his fathers passwords to his chat IDs and mail. He then spent a good week causing all kinds of havoc pretending he was his father. We all thought he'd lost his mind...

Share this post


Link to post

Nah, it was the guy. He was saying things that someone in an internet cafe wouldnt know or be able to come up with and his kids are only about 2-3 years old...probably too young to do something as devious as you mentioned :)

 

Thanks for all the input. We have decided to just ignore him and move on.

 

Originally posted by BodyScape02

Personally I like the logging and sending the messages to his wife idea...

 

Another thing to consider is this, since you say he had seemed to be a very decent fellow then became as crass as a teen punk, are you sure it was him? Recently, a friend I hadn't chatted with suddenly IMed me and was really stupid and rude. It turned out NOT to have been him but he had been in an internet caffe and forgot to log off his AOL name....oops...

 

Another friend had a real bitch of time last year as well. He decided to restrict his teen sons access to the PC and the net and took messures to do so. Well, his boy knew more about it than he and reversed everything including changing his fathers passwords to his chat IDs and mail. He then spent a good week causing all kinds of havoc pretending he was his father. We all thought he'd lost his mind...

Share this post


Link to post

Yep, go for it man, I beated the crap out of the last guy that ignored Mia's repeated "NO"

If he threaten to call the cops, tell him you'll tell his wife all about it........

Share this post


Link to post
Yep, go for it man, I beated the crap out of the last guy that ignored Mia's repeated "NO"

If he threaten to call the cops, tell him you'll tell his wife all about it........

 

I think by now cooler heads have prevailed, and if not, the guy wouldn't know why he was getting his ass kicked, since it happened over six years ago. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
I think by now cooler heads have prevailed, and if not, the guy wouldn't know why he was getting his ass kicked, since it happened over six years ago. ;)

 

They say revenge is a dish best served ice cold.

 

With fava beans.

Share this post


Link to post

Just ignore him if your not interested. Block him or whatever. You don't need to be responsible and be blamed for his marital problems that would ensue if you do as others suggest and expose him to his wife. If you do something like that then your looking for a fight. You are not his keeper.

 

Just go have a beer, bitch about his actions here on this board and then block him instead.

 

Let him deal with his world. You stay out of it.

Share this post


Link to post

This is where the 'RANGER' in me takes over my natural calm demeanor and puts me into 'ass kickin' mode.

 

I'll refrain from saying what I would do because it may be used against me in a future court of law if this situation ever pops up in my life. Just kidding. If this guy is being a jackass to you then I'm sure he is being a jackass to others. I believe that people get with they deserve in the end. He will cross someone who not be as forgiving as everyone here on this board. It's just a matter of time.

Share this post


Link to post

No worries ... we've all run into asshats like that at SOME point (people who're just persistent / pushy / rude ...and when you try to politely tell them to stop - they just get beligerant)

 

I believe this is why there are "block" features on IM / email systems.

 

Heck, I thought this was going to be SO much worse a tale...

 

(...like this one time, a guy was at a party and walked off after he finished ...leaving the condom behind inside her! Now THAT guy needed to get a beating!)

Share this post


Link to post
I second that one. Would probably do a lot more to hurt him than beating him would.... and it would still give you some satisfaction.

 

I totally agree send the im's to his wife.

Share this post


Link to post

I am the kind of person that doesn’t require much reason to have misunderstandings with someone but in this case, I don’t think I would do anything to this guy and that’s saying a lot for me. Now while I am writing this, my wife is laughing at me because she knows it doesn’t take much for me to want to make another human being look different for disrespect and God for bid someone disrespect my wife. But I’m gonna repeat what I said even though my wife is laughing at me that I don’t think I would do anything for this guy unless my wife said you need to have a face-to-face conversation with him and then I will have to protect my Queen and go ahead and have that misunderstanding.

 

But it depends on what you want to do bro but at the same time he didn’t really get close know if he would’ve showed up at your door  acting a fool then yes most definitely that misunderstanding has the happen. But your wife ignored him and my wife is saying right now maybe I am correct. When is the last time I heard that, ouch smack on the neck. Well brother it’s up to you because you’re in that situation but I would be picking almost the same as you but at the same time he was really no major threat times you Gotta do what you Gotta do and boss up

 

But at the same time you might want to put this guy in this place because you don’t want him to think that he got away with something by saying those things to your wife. Now I’m starting to rethink and consider maybe you are right. Balls in your court brother, boss up

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Interestme82
      Hi out there. I’m married and in an evolving relationship. Last year I did a burlesque photo shoot for him as a gift. He loved the way it turned out but asked if I’d be willing to do something more risqué in the future. I got a reference from the original photographer (female) and told my husband the new photographer would be a male. Being the protective husband he is we both requested a meeting over a cup of coffee. We met which was great and made things all the more comfortable. I loved what I saw from his book and my husband did as well. 
       
      We had the shoot and the pictures came out great. He got really turned on by knowing another guy was doing the pictures. I was shocked. I asked him if he’d consider doing a couples shoot with me and he said he’d try but was reluctant. Pretty soon after he agreed and we were off again.
       
      Prior to the shoot my husband and the photographer talked about his career. My husband, who’s faithful, shocked me a bit with his envy and open talk about what the photographer experienced. I’m extremely open and joined in the conversation. Both of us felt like we were conversing with someone we really liked and knew a lot longer than we actually did. Unfortunately my husband had difficulties getting hard which is completely out of the ordinary. The photographer said it happened a lot and just to relax. 
       
      Surprisingly at my husband's request he asked for me to do a POV shoot the photographer showed us in his book. Basically it’s the photographer including himself in various ways while taking the pictures. As we started taking the pictures I liked being touched by the photographer even though it wasn’t active foreplay or sex. It really was strictly for the pictures themselves. During the pictures my husband quickly got hard and watched. Eventually the photographer asked him if he was going to get involved. The rest of the shoot went as we planned. Afterwards we all sat around and talked and went through the pictures.
       
      Some time passed again and we talked a lot about the fun we had with it. My husband admitted he liked watching the photographer touch me and if not for that he may have been to nervous to get hard. 

      I really want this to develop further but I’m apprehensive because it’s a major change in life obviously. I’m also not sure about how I feel about seeing him with someone else. When I say I’m not sure I mean most likely not. I don’t even really think he wants to. I almost feel like if I bring that up it will be too much too fast. Multiple times when having sex we’ve dirty talked about me doing another shoot and giving myself up. I’d feel more comfortable to actually do it than talk about it. 
       
      I feel like my husband has opened a door that I want to walk into. Am I reading it wrong? Is it best for me to just set something else up and let it work itself the way it will? Based on our interactions I have no doubt the photographer would be into it also. Would I be going to far given our relationship if I reached out to the him and told him how I feel, how my husband feels, and confirm he’d say yes? 
       
       
    • By funcoupledayton
      I'm starting this thread in response to one in the curious section where the author felt a little bad because his wife wasn't sharing all her fantasies with him. He said he knows they are not ready for swinging, in part, because of this.
       
      Well, here I am, swinging with my husband for 3 years, and it's gone very well. But, I still have a private fantasy place I go to (in my mind). I tell my husband things I want to try, we talk all the time about what we like about swinging sex and our sex. But, when he watches me touch myself and then says, "What were you thinking about?" I won't tell him.
       
      I don't lie, sometimes I tell him generalities. It's not about a specific person or people, it's not anything that really could or would happen in real life. It's not anything I want to try, I just find it hot to think about. But, I would be embarrassed to tell anyone, and it would make it less hot for me if he knew about it. In a way, I like not telling him, I like having a little corner of my mind that's all mine. On the other hand I feel a little guilty, because it's really not a big deal and he would like me to tell him these fantasies in great detail and would probably find them hot, too.
       
      But, believe me, I have told him (and many of you also) all kinds of silly fantasies, because I have a ton!
       
      What do you think? Do you tell your spouse everything you think about to get off?
×
×
  • Create New...