Moving to the top of the list

[ALilOEverything 901]

We've added single men to our list of potential playmates a few months ago and it's amazing how much more traffic we get from men than we ever did couples. We entertain like this once every month or two so it takes a little work to narrow down that one perfect gentlemen. I've had a lot of frustration with taking time to write them all back because it takes time I don't want to spend on someone who probably spent less time on his profile than I spend on my response. Because of that I thought I would start a thread on what it would take for a single guy to move to the top of the list of single guys if they are truly compatible with the couple.

 

This is what helps a single guy move up the list of potential singles for us:

 

1) Private pics (if public ones not available) with high quality face and body pics (clothed is fine) opened immediately with the introduction email. I won't bother to ask for them later and it's a complete deal breaker if I can't see them up front, I just don't want to spend that kind of time.

 

2) A well written profile which discusses qualities about himself which could include: whether he's intro/extroverted, enjoys taking the lead or likes to let the couple to lead the way, if he's willing to travel, if he can host, what he enjoys in an mfm, interests such as sports. Know that these types of things are deal breakers but allows the couple to feel like they are getting to know you and if you're the type of person they would want to add in their bed.

 

3) If a guy is going to mention his endowment it be spelled out like "plenty of what the ladies like" vs actual inches and going on and on about how it's giant and she's just going to love it. Honestly I would prefer it to not be mentioned at all because I assume each guy has one and I don't really care about it in any detail at all. But it's not going to bump him off the top of the list if he's not bragging.

 

4) The profile should be full of positives and minus any negative attitude.

 

5) A well written introduction message that indicates he read our profile, what he likes about it and how he thinks we're compatible.

 

6) If he strikes our fancy we'll usually write back and give the same type of email on what we like about his profile and request a phone number for further contact. Any guy who says he can't give one because he's been stalked by crazy swinger women in the past will then be rejected. It's important to have a talk on the phone because we can get the rest of what we need to make a determination in a few minutes of phone conversation than we ever would have over days of endless email and chat

 

7) Availability is very important. Time is limited so flexibility is key. If he isn't very flexible we'll probably keep the phone number of the most flexible compatible gentlemen on the list.

 

8) Don't over do it trying to be what you think the couple wants you to be. Be exactly who you are because a genuine person can be the most attractive person of all. This isn't just about success in getting laid, it's about success in having a good experience for both you and the couple.

 

9) Take rejection gracefully because couples sometimes do change their mind in what they are looking for as they gain more experience.

 

I think what I'm getting at is you (single men) have to make it EASY. If a couple has to spend time waiting for photos and waiting to find out your interest it's just not going to happen. We will have already received three more messages from other singles while we've waited for you to respond. We may miss out on a perfectly good single this way but we don't want to make it any more complicated than we need to.

 

Put your best foot forward and remember your profile, photos and attitude are your absolute best way to get ahead in the game.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Nothing to add and could not have stated it better. Bravo! We're saving this one.

 

This is a really great article. Every single man should be given a written copy to sign and notarize so as to say, "I've read it and understand it."

[LFM2 1,482]

Very well written!!

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Really great advice to single guys.

 

One thing I would add, in our case we can't host. So I prefer if there is a plan for hosting or meeting at a club. Often the guys don't want to go to a club or host at their place and seem to have no suggestions if we can't host. We already pay a sitter when we go out, so we try to avoid a hotel for just a couple hours.

[Tobacouple 111]

Great list and advice.

[angelkin 1,326]

lilo - a great checklist...I also have little to add. We do prefer chat mode vs. phone...we only do the phone thing if we're setting up an actual meet. Thanks for posting this!!

[CollegeCouple24 232]

This is great! We don't swing with single men but I felt there were a lot of similarities when going back and forth with the male of another couple (not often!). I'm not going to suggest adding this unless you feel its valid, but, I often will tell a potential candidate that he's/they're near the top of the list and I'll let them know by X time or date if it is likely to proceed. In the interim, I receive 20 emails from this person trying to persuade me. By the third email, I'm all sighs.

 

In a word, patience is appreciated! I know how hard it must be, and they're always rewarded.

[Formybubu 55]

I could not have said it better. Tired of single men who think just because we are looking for one (or two) they are god's gift to woman. They need to look into the mirror and realize that they are not.

[TheLustLife 16]

I agree with you. Personally, I wish I read this first as it would have helped me in developing my profile. I'm still working on it but this is very informative.