Girlfriend Brought Up Swinging

[mauibuilt1132 15]

Okay ive been dating my new girlfriend for about 7 months now and we are pretty close and plan on getting married soon. She has two kids from different dads and during our second month of dating she out of nowhere said "id like to experience a swingers club to see whats its all about". those were her exact words, quickly i assumed that she wanted some dick. i am still trying to ask her what her real intentions are and she just gives me short answers like "oh i just want to be intimate with you there just want to see the environment." what do you guys think? She is very attractive cowgirl type i have a picture of her.

[inhopeofspice 9]

Run, Do not Walk, in the Opposite direction. Isn't there ample evidence this cowgirl lacks discretion af any calibar given two children by two men. You may become a Mule pulling the load for this gal, (I just can't call her a Lady).

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I would suggest that you talk to her about holding onto that fantasy for a time in the future after you are a bit more established as a couple. It sounds like your communication perhaps still needs some work at this point. You need to feel like you know exactly why she wants to do this before it happens. It may be that her reason is true. From there ask her more questions "why do you want this?" "what do you hope would com of it?" and be specific "do you want us to swing?". Ask her about her fantasies, and definitely ask her about her past experiences.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Okay, agree with inhopeofspice. Alarm bells should be really going off in your head. I don't know about discretion as much as a serious lack of judgment.

 

I'm sure she is lots of fun. If you are going to marry her, I'd fork out $400.00 to get snipped. It will be much cheaper than 18 years on the payment plan.

[Alura 2,774]

Was she once a barrel racer from Texas? If you decide to dump her, send that picture to me. I just love them cowgirls!

 

Seriously, I think y'all have opened the kind of communication good marriages are made of. Keep talking about hopes, dreams and fantasies... and everything else!

 

Alura

[GspotDPlover 84]

Well, that was disappointing. I saw the title "Girlfriend Brought Up Swinging" and thought, now there is a keeper! Then you had to go an ruin it by posting that she has two love childs, two thropies, already. I am sure she is fantasic in many ways but one of those women you do not want to fall in love with as she will eventually hurt you, and your bank account. Dump her, or keep bangin' her, but for God's sake man, do not try to make an honest woman out of her, it will just not work at this late hour. But you may ignore mine and other's advice telling you to run. If you do, good luck to you my love sick friend, you will need it.

[gr8tungbiggush 17]

I would like some more information, like how is she and how old are the kids? That makes a bit of difference in the advice that can be given.

 

If she's 19 and 2 kids, then run for the hills and don't look back.

 

If she's 37 and 2 older kids, then stick round. Find out why she wants to do it. What she wants to gain from doing it and so on.

 

My wife is 36 and has 2 kids (3rd on the way) to 2 different fathers,I am responsible for the last 2 kids, and she has a very good head on her shoulders most of the time.

 

Sent from my DROID3 using Tapatalk 2

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

The idea that having two kids from two different fathers is an automatic run for the hills red flag makes me cranky. It, along with bringing up swinging, makes her unsuitable to be called a lady, etc., 'cause, you know, she's kinda slutty and unreliable. All this absent details like...been married twice, once at 19 and once at 35 and had a child with each husband, or any other safer, more middle class route to the same destination. Not saying those saying "run" are wrong, mind you, but I do mind the reflexive assumptions. (And, yes, my children have the same father, just in case you were wondering. )

 

There is a stigma about women being sexually unfettered and I get that, but I don't like it, especially in a forum for swingers.

 

I'm with Alura in thinking openness is a really good foundation for a relationship and I think being unfiltered is healthier, generally, than being buttoned up. Also, I too like cowgirls...

[Guest sandraandalex]

Methinks she has done this before - Alex

 

PS-- If you do not trust her intentions, perhaps that's a voice you should listen to

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Firstly, I am appalled by my fellow forum-mates. The fact that a woman has two children by different fathers and expresses an interest in swinging does not necessarily mean that she is some kind of gold digging, trailer trash slut.

 

Now, to the original poster, I think you need to communicate with her and find out where she is coming from. First, however, I think you also need to figure out where you are coming from. You say you assume she just wants some dick... but the key word there is assume. Why are you making that assumption. You says you've talked to her but clearly you don't believe her answers. Is there a reason you assume she is lying? You say you're going to marry her, but your post implies that you don't trust her. You need to work out those issues before you can even think about swinging. Hell, IMO, you need to work out those issues before you think about marriage.

[angelkin 1,326]

Seven months into a relationship is pretty early for swinging, but better to know now rather than later that she has this interest - it's not for everyone and it may not be for you. You seem a bit apprehensive of swinging - or perhaps her motivations for the sudden interest in it. You mention that she brought it up very early in your relationship, have you talked about it much since? Is it something she brings up frequently?

 

The basis of any successful swinging relationship is communication. I'd recommend, like some of the others, lots more talking about swinging before you jump into it.

 

I am confused on one point you made: "If quickly assumed she wanted some dick" - did you mean strange dick?

 

Unlike some of the others, I would not measure her suitability for marriage based on the fact she has two children by two different fathers. You have not provided us with enough information to judge that situation and it is not what you came here to ask advice about. If you love her and she loves you, that's enough.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

It sounds like you need to do a lot of talking about feelings, fantasies, your pasts and future hopes. I have no idea the circumstances of your fiance's past with regard to two children with two different men, but I don't think it's fair to keep bringing this up. I saw another post you made in the gang bang thread,

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Default Re: Gangbang Groups

 

id like to know how to get my girlfriend into this. i think deep down she is a nasty slut with having two kids from two different dads ... she is a sex white woman 5'5, 140lbs, 38C, big booty with a tramp stamp, "

 

also mentioning her past, it really isn't that relevant, unless she does not understand the need for good birth control. Do you slut-shame her in the same way you do here? It's not a loving behavior.

 

Some people do make the same mistakes over and over, maybe it's happening to her again right now.

 

Like others have said it is early in your relationship to think about swinging, especially if she and you can't clearly communicate desires. Maybe she'd like to come here and join the discussions?

[Alura 2,774]

Firstly, I am appalled by my fellow forum-mates. The fact that a woman has two children by different fathers and expresses an interest in swinging does not necessarily mean that she is some kind of gold digging, trailer trash slut.

 

I whole heartedly agree with this. It's been my experience that women with experience are the ones that be trusted. Communication is the key, not how many children (or sex acts) she may have had. If she really wants to know your mind and wants you to know hers, y'all are on your way to great things.

 

Alura

[drinnt 201]

Okay ive been dating my new girlfriend for about 7 months now and we are pretty close and plan on getting married soon. She has two kids from different dads and during our second month of dating she out of nowhere said "id like to experience a swingers club to see whats its all about". those were her exact words, quickly i assumed that she wanted some dick. i am still trying to ask her what her real intentions are and she just gives me short answers like "oh i just want to be intimate with you there just want to see the environment." what do you guys think? She is very attractive cowgirl type i have a picture of her.

 

If in the SECOND MONTH OF DATING my love interest stated that she wanted to visit a swingers club I would need to SERIOUSLY EVALUATE the direction of the relationship. Don't get me wrong - having a fun fuck buddy to swing with is cool...and at the same time if that is the girls relationship PRIORITY then I'm definitely not about to settle down with someone who's putting THE FUN ahead of establishing a relationship. Clearly she has different priorities.

 

TRUST YOUR HEART / INSTINCTS / GUT. I wouldn't presume to know what you should do...as it's YOUR life...but if the tone of your inquiry is any indication CLEARLY this girl's priorities are different than yours...proceed according to the intel.

 

Swinging isn't just something you "do" for fun - its can be a complex, mixed bag of emotional surprises. There is a reason you need a SOLID relationship to survive it. If you guys can't even communicate about the reasons why you want to go there or that it bothers you enough that she does that you had to come here for advice...then you shouldn't be doing it in MY experience.

 

Good luck!

[Alura 2,774]

My late wife and I discussed swinging on our second date which was the second day we'd known each other. We immediately learned that neither of us looked forward to a life of sex with only one person and were open to the idea. For sure, we discussed many other things, but the normally taboo subject of swinging was easily explored by both of us and told us that we could talk honestly about anything with no fear of reprisal.

 

It was during that second date that we agreed to never become angry because a question was asked and that we would always talk about any subject until we understood each other, no matter how long it took.

 

The early stages of a relationship should be spent in getting to know each other; the concept of "running in the other direction" because she must be a slut because she has two kids by two different fathers, is contradictory to the very purpose of leaning about a person, whether or not it might eventually develop into a serious relationship like marriage.

 

In my opinion, swinging IS something a couple does for fun; there is no other reason to do it. If it's a complex mixed bag of emotional surprises, it's because the couple has not prepared their relationship through communication. True, there are always unanticipated issues that must be dealt with but a couple with developed communication can handle them with a minimum of, if any at all, emotional distress.

 

I'd hate to have decided to run the other direction from Mrs. Alura because she'd had over twenty sex partners by the time she was twenty-five. I'd have missed the best thirty years of my life and two of the finest sons one can imagine!

 

Alura

[DigginIt 1,132]

Lionheart...I never really got that anyone was calling her a gold digging, trailer trash slut. Having a serious lack of judgement, yes.

 

Granted, this woman could be in her 40's, have been married to husband 1 for 10 years, husband 2 for 7 years and that would actually make her seem normal....BUT....reading the post, as it stands, the way things were described, taking into account his second post about gang bangs...

 

id like to know how to get my girlfriend into this. i think deep down she is a nasty slut with having two kids from two different dads ... she is a sex white woman 5'5, 140lbs, 38C, big booty with a tramp stamp,

 

I have to guess we are not dealing with that and until more details are provided, my initial reaction stands.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Run, Do not Walk, in the Opposite direction. Isn't there ample evidence this cowgirl lacks discretion af any calibar given two children by two men. You may become a Mule pulling the load for this gal, (I just can't call her a Lady).

 

 

Well, that was disappointing. I saw the title "Girlfriend Brought Up Swinging" and thought, now there is a keeper! Then you had to go an ruin it by posting that she has two love childs, two thropies, already. I am sure she is fantasic in many ways but one of those women you do not want to fall in love with as she will eventually hurt you, and your bank account. Dump her, or keep bangin' her, but for God's sake man, do not try to make an honest woman out of her, it will just not work at this late hour. But you may ignore mine and other's advice telling you to run. If you do, good luck to you my love sick friend, you will need it.

 

DigginIt, I hate to disagree with you, but to my eyes that is exactly what the above two posts are saying.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Okay, I'll concede a little on that one but I believe the poster was inserting humor in with their thoughts.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Erm, call me humorless, but I don't actually think taking a wild leap and assuming - based on very little evidence - that having two fathers for her children and bringing up swinging in month 2 of a relationship means that the posts Lionheart72 cited are in any way justified. That her boyfriend thinks she's secretly a dirty little slut because of the children and a tattoo (definitely means she's trashy, yo) and would enjoy gangbangs, even though she's never indicated anything of the sort, has everything to do with him and nothing at all to do with her. It's not like he's a reliable narrator, after all, as he's already taken her desire to go to a swing club and see what it's all about as an indication that she wants dick. 'Cause, you know, that's the only reason a woman with two children with two fathers, a tramp stamp and a big ass would want to go there.

 

Now I'm really cranky. Jeez.

 

I know I would have liked Mrs. Alura and I think we would have had lots to talk about, too. Mr. Doe and I hadn't even had a date before I told him I'd never be interested in a monogamous relationship.

[Alura 2,774]

I confess I have some questions about the boyfriend, too. It may be that he's the problem with communication.

 

Everybody liked Mrs. Alura ask anyone on this board who met her. Was she a slut? Always in bed but never at the PTSA or the band parents meetings.

 

Alura

[mauibuilt1132 15]

Was she once a barrel racer from Texas? If you decide to dump her, send that picture to me. I just love them cowgirls!

 

Seriously, I think y'all have opened the kind of communication good marriages are made of. Keep talking about hopes, dreams and fantasies... and everything else!

 

Alura

 

 

 

Alura yes she is a barrel racer in her 30's. I talked to her a bit more about the whole swinging thing and she told me that she likes larger men who she can ride and not have them slip out of her pussy when on top. She further explained that she cums much better that way and since i am not that large she wanted to explore and going to the swingers club would be exciting. So i went out bought her a sexy outfit and there we went to the local swingers club. I do admit i was apprehensive to take her because of that fact that she has the best feeling pussy i have ever had before and her body is built great not perfect but would make a grown man stiff as a rock when naked. To make a long story short she ended up picking 3 guys who we took home and i watched her ride and give blow jobs to. Mind you she doesn't like giving blow jobs to me, but once she saw how big these guys were she started sucking them like she was natural to it which made me uncomfortable and excited at the same time.. As they began to foreplay i was hoping they wouldn't have large dicks but sadly they all did lol i was like great just my luck. One of the guys had a second round with her, who was black and he wanted a 1 on 1 session with her and i couldn't believe but made her cream on his dick (cum dripped out of her pussy down his shaft). After he came she told him to stay inside her for awhile and she hugged and kissed him. what does everyone think? i really appreciate all your advice and suggestions you all rock!!

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I think I hope she has her tubes tied now.

 

I don't understand why you didn't talk about this further before going out and picking up three guys. When you ask, "what do we think?" Do you mean, "do you think she's going to leave me because of the after play hugging, kissing, stay in me?" I think this is a train wreck in progress. Have you talked about rules and boundaries? What she wants for the future? How is sex between the two of you now?

 

I also think if she doesn't like giving you blow jobs, but is happy to do it for strangers you have a problem.

[slevin 1,374]

I don't think it's ever a good sign when she says her motivation is because your penis is too small and you don't satisfy her.

[Chicup 41]

Last time I told someone what I think about their story it made people mad, I'm thinking the same thing again though.

 

So I have to ask, you have known her 7 months, she says he likes to ride "big guys" and you are too small. She says she wants to go to a swing club "just to see" (or whatever). You take home THREE guys who are all hung. She fucks their brains out, blows them (which she doesn't like to do to you) and from what it seems did so bareback.

 

Then you ask us what WE think? What do you think we will say?

[BeStylnIT 114]

Run, Do not Walk, in the Opposite direction.

 

Yep, to me the timing is the red flag and her reason. That old "just to see what its like" statement, totally passive aggressive. No one wants to go to a swinger's club unless they have thought about doing some swinging.

I would bet she's even dabbled in swinging before.

[GspotDPlover 84]

Yep, to me the timing is the red flag and her reason. That old "just to see what its like" statement, totally passive aggressive. No one wants to go to a swinger's club unless they have thought about doing some swinging.

I would bet she's even dabbled in swinging before.

 

I think that is clear. The first visit to a swing club is intimidating. But this girl was just checking it out and "she ended up picking 3 guys who we took home and i watched her ride and give blow jobs to..."

 

Don't get me wrong, if I was seeing a woman and she said she had experienced swinging and/or groups sex before and wanted to swing with me and the result was as you described, I would be happy to keep seeing her. But unless my only watching was part of the plan, she would have had sex with four guys, the three we met at the club and myself. Really, the big issue you have with this woman is that of trustworthiness and honesty. From everything you have shared with us, I do not think she is either of those and thus incapable of having a successful relationship with anyone.

[Alura 2,774]

Alura yes she is a barrel racer in her 30's. I talked to her a bit more about the whole swinging thing and she told me that she likes larger men who she can ride and not have them slip out of her pussy when on top. She further explained that she cums much better that way and since i am not that large she wanted to explore and going to the swingers club would be exciting. So i went out bought her a sexy outfit and there we went to the local swingers club. I do admit i was apprehensive to take her because of that fact that she has the best feeling pussy i have ever had before and her body is built great not perfect but would make a grown man stiff as a rock when naked. To make a long story short she ended up picking 3 guys who we took home and i watched her ride and give blow jobs to. Mind you she doesn't like giving blow jobs to me, but once she saw how big these guys were she started sucking them like she was natural to it which made me uncomfortable and excited at the same time.. As they began to foreplay i was hoping they wouldn't have large dicks but sadly they all did lol i was like great just my luck. One of the guys had a second round with her, who was black and he wanted a 1 on 1 session with her and i couldn't believe but made her cream on his dick (cum dripped out of her pussy down his shaft). After he came she told him to stay inside her for awhile and she hugged and kissed him. what does everyone think? i really appreciate all your advice and suggestions you all rock!!

 

Oh, never mind the picture. The barrel racer of whom I have fond memories would be in her sixties by now. Good luck to you both in sorting out your communication.

 

Alura

[PlayingPossum 19]

I'm pretty sure this is just OP's fantasy, and he's typed it out in the form of a question. There's a "story" section here OP, and everyone would be happy to hear your fantasies. Nobody goes about things like this.

[drinnt 201]

I'm pretty sure this is just OP's fantasy, and he's typed it out in the form of a question. There's a "story" section here OP, and everyone would be happy to hear your fantasies. Nobody goes about things like this.

 

It's either:

A) The OP really REALLY likes to be cuckolded in the most EXTREME and humiliating ways,

B) It's all Dear Penthouse, OR

C) The OP is in the wrong lifestyle and needs to find a Dominatrix to give him the proper punishment he so clearly desires

 

I can't even fathom what to say about a situation like this - much less let it be a part of my life - MUCH LESS know how to comment on it. If it's what your into, good luck...but I can't relate enough to comment further.