Finding Swinging Playmates in Random Places

[Alura 2,773]

Hasn't anybody met a playcouple in line at the supermarket, restaurant, PTSA meeting, bookstore, or rodeo? It's a whole lot more fun and not stressful at all. It doesn't feel like work, either.

 

Alura

[M&S 266]

Meeting in line at at supermarket??. How do you do that???

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

Hasn't anybody met a playcouple in line at the supermarket, restaurant, PTSA meeting, bookstore, or rodeo? It's a whole lot more fun and not stressful at all. It doesn't feel like work, either.

 

Alura

Not at a supermarket but at a small family restaurant, yes. Two people approached us as they wanted to know what our vanity registration plates meant. So we told them. Three weeks later we had hooked up.

 

As for grocery stores, hope burns eternal. That why we shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's and not at a big-chain supermarket.

[Alura 2,773]

Take a High School football game, for instance. Mrs. Alura picked out a likely couple and chose seats near them. As we took our places, she began a nonsense conversation! "Hi, Y'all, great night for football, isn't it? It's gonna be a great season!" We'd watch the game, talking between the couples often, asking a lot of "Gee, y'all are interesting!" questions. We listen for profanities and phrases that might suggest they were not "Holy-Rollers." If we had a particularly good time with them, we'd say so, and sometimes invite them for a drink after the game. If they declined, we'd be friendly, but they'd never know they might have gotten laid if they'd have played their cards right.

 

I always liked barrel racers (and cowboys have hard bodies that Laura liked) so we'd go into the building where the horses used in the events were kept, size up a likely couple... I learned this when I was single.

 

The easiest was when a guy was reading ads on 3X5" cards on the "Swingers Bulletin Board" in a local toy and sex shop. I started reading them, too. "This one's ours," he said. "This one's ours," I replied. (We read them.)

 

"There's a restaurant across the street. Care for a cup of coffee and a chat ?" Among other things, we talked about swinging.

 

When the check came, I said, "Shall we plan on having dinner so our wives can decide if they like us?"

 

"Good idea! How about tonight? Does Laura like Mexican?"

 

"Is there a taco in Albuquerque?"

 

We settled on a restaurant and a time.

 

We just kept our eye out for couples we might like and approached them. Whether they were open to swapping wasn't important. We enjoyed the hunt, even when we didn't bag one.

 

Alura

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I'm glad you started this thread!

 

It's like you're speaking a foreign language. It sounds lovely, but I can't understand a word.

 

I think my (and our) approach is diametrically opposite, which is probably why we prefer clubs. We pretty much know why people are there and there's only a step and a half to determine whether we're all interested. It might well be that we're both fundamentally lazy hunters, interested only in those who have already singled themselves out. It's just more efficient that way...

 

I'd happily exchange numbers or make a date with an interesting someone I met with a card up looking for play partners, but when I grocery shop, it's groceries I'm looking for. I'll have to ask M. if he checks people out while we're shopping and wonders if they'd make good playmates, but it's not something I've ever done.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Alura, I'm glad that this method worked/works for you but for myself, I don't think we could do it. As it has been said countless times on this forum, swinging isn't for everyone. What happens if you swing with a vanilla couple that got caught up in the moment, swapped and then afterwards, the couple felt guilty, betrayed, etc. They might get into arguments and it might possibly disrupt their relationship. I wouldn't want that on my shoulders.

 

Sure, I ogle a lot of guys and wonder or wish that they are swingers. But even if they were, it wouldn't mean I would be able to swing with them because it also depends on the spouses. So, in my mind, whenever I am not at a swinger event, I don't seriously entertain the thought of meeting potential couples in my "vanilla" time. They are considered "off limits" and my mind is focused elsewhere. When we are out at a club/party, then my brain is switched to "Who would I like to play with?" mode.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

I know that Alura is completely capable is stating a position himself but I have to make a point here. I don't think he is asking if people ever convert vanillas to swingers. I believe he's asking if anybody ever finds actual swingers in grocery stores or restaurants or other such places.

[Alura 2,773]

When we got into swinging there were no clubs in Oklahoma, at least that we knew of. We had to be creative, and Mrs. Alura was very good at being creative. We never were club people, even vanilla clubs. We never wanted to go out dancing and drinking. During our thirty years together neither of us ever saw the other drunk.

 

We liked to know our playmates well; it took longer to do that, and keep in mind that if we weren't sure, we'd never ask. Folks just thought we were friendly... which we were.

 

I also submit that Mrs. Alura was gifted in meeting people... it's how she made her living. We kept our minds open for like-minded couples. We found some who were what we hoped and a lot more who weren't.

 

Although our vanilla friends were never aware of our swinging, many times swinger friends, including some from this board, attended our parties. There was never a problem. We saw no reason to keep a concrete wall between our swinging life and our vanilla life.

 

Alura

[Alura 2,773]

Alura, I'm glad that this method worked/works for you but for myself, I don't think we could do it. As it has been said countless times on this forum, swinging isn't for everyone. What happens if you swing with a vanilla couple that got caught up in the moment, swapped and then afterwards, the couple felt guilty, betrayed, etc. They might get into arguments and it might possibly disrupt their relationship. I wouldn't want that on my shoulders.

 

I don't know. Such a thing never happened.

 

Sure, I ogle a lot of guys and wonder or wish that they are swingers. But even if they were, it wouldn't mean I would be able to swing with them because it also depends on the spouses. So, in my mind, whenever I am not at a swinger event, I don't seriously entertain the thought of meeting potential couples in my "vanilla" time. They are considered "off limits" and my mind is focused elsewhere. When we are out at a club/party, then my brain is switched to "Who would I like to play with?" mode.

 

We didn't approach and meet singles. Usually we would know in a few minutes if a couple might be receptive.

 

Alura

[Alura 2,773]

We prefer WF and TJ because we think the fresh food is better...!

 

The Whole Foods stores in Florida even sell bison meat! Here in Oklahoma, it's in the meat market in the supermarkets.

 

Alura

[Alura 2,773]

I know that Alura is completely capable is stating a position himself but I have to make a point here. I don't think he is asking if people ever convert vanillas to swingers. I believe he's asking if anybody ever finds actual swingers in grocery stores or restaurants or other such places.

 

We never thought of it as "converting vanillas" only meeting new people and learning some things about them. If they were of our mindset it was great; if not we had just met some nice people.

 

Alura

[sunbuckus 3,567]

My apologizes, Alura. For some reason, I thought that maybe you and the Mrs. had randomly met vanilla couples and "converted" them over dinner and drinks. Getting to know a couple and seeing if they were of the same mindset sounds more practical...though a lot of work! Most of the time, when we have the opportunity to go out, we go out to play. We don't mind meeting and getting to know couples but we have limited amount of time and energy and want to make the most of it.

[ViSexual 1,008]

When we got into swinging there were no clubs in Oklahoma, at least that we knew of.

 

Well, now you're in Tulsa but, OKC we joined OSI (Oklahoma Swingers, Inc) in 1978 or 1979. I remember having to both go in together for an interview to make sure we were who we said we were. Heck, back then, they'd probably have undercover agents trying to join to bust the club.

 

But, Alura, it's very difficult to bring up the subject with strangers. I think it's like asking a same-sex friend if they're bisexual. It's just darn difficult. We have vanilla friends now who we've known for years. I suspect they're swingers and they might suspect we were. I remember one time the wife even mentioning something about wife-swapping and it was so tempting to jump on that but I didn't because once you 'out' yourself there's no going back.

[Alura 2,773]

We've talked about OSI before, ViSexual. We were unaware of the club's existance. There was a club here, of sorts, run by a couple trying to get rich in their spare time. It may have been called "Tulsa Socials" or something similar. It didn't last long. It was a meet 'n greet sort of thing. We went once only to have Mrs. Alura followed around by some insistant fellow. "Come have a drink with us!" His morbidly obese, chain-smoking wife was not appealing to me at all. We were uncomfortable so we left early. That was probably in the mid-eighties...

 

The subject was not brought up until they were no longer strangers. Well... there was one time, in Amarillo, when Mrs. Alura, knowing we'd never see the California couple again, went against her better judgement and asked, "How do y'all feel about swinging?" The result was not good, but (like I said) we never saw them again. We were much more careful when closer to home.

 

I was not suggesting that one should turn around in line at the supermarket and ask the couple behind, "How do y'all feel about swinging?"

 

Alura

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think this takes a very special kind of talent and out-going personality that I just don't have. We wished we could have pulled this off on our vacation last spring, but it was not to be. In some ways it would certainly make life a little easier, you get to have not only play-friends but real friends in the bargain. I think it comes down to what are you looking for? Do you want that "friends with benefits" side of things, or would you rather just play and move on (one of the never-ending swinger debates).

[Alura 2,773]

You nailed it, Julie!

 

Laura had two degrees, one in Communication and the other in Psychology. Her special interest was "body language" which she read better than anyone else I've ever known. Her ability was more than education; it went far beyond that. I was often surprised at the accuracy of her readings of people. I suppose this amazing talent was the primary reason that she snagged the "Salesperson of the Year" award with her company, year after year. She claimed that anyone could learn to do what she did, but I never knew anybody who did. Long before "The Mentalist" she said she just paid attention; there was no magic.

 

Bear in mind that there were a whole lot more couples with whom she decided to NOT open the subject of swinging than who she did.

 

And, yes, our interests were not in fucking strangers (for many reasons) but playing "fun sex" with people we knew well enough to like. That's why our "bed notches" were much fewer than many swingers'. (That's counted in number of couples laid as opposed to total number of swapped sex acts, in which case we might have been more competitive.)

 

Alura

[Alura 2,773]

I know that Alura is completely capable is stating a position himself but I have to make a point here. I don't think he is asking if people ever convert vanillas to swingers. I believe he's asking if anybody ever finds actual swingers in grocery stores or restaurants or other such places.

 

How did I miss replying to this? You're right, SW_PA_Couple. We've had many threads on converting vanillas to swingers. That's not what we did.

 

Without trying to compile statistics, I'd feel safe in saying that most of the couples we met in public places and played with had not only thought about swapping but had talked about it with each other. Laura just had a way of finding them.

 

Well, looking back over the thread, I guess I did answer this post... just not as completely, so I'll leave this one.

 

Alura