Wife Wants Girl/Girl Only

[Luv_Bugs 15]

Hey everyone!

 

So, my wife has discovered she likes girls and wants to experience a lesbian encounter while I watch. She said she may want me to play with her, but not with the other woman. I'm totally cool with this! The only thing is she really isn't comfortable with another guy being there, and I'm not sure if I an either.

 

We have been together for 17 years. We almost had a threeway with one of her friends when we were dating, but it never came up again until recently. One night while at a dance club, these two hot chicks were flirting and dancing with my wife. When we got home she was all hot and ready for some action. In the midst of our love making, she tells me she wants to have sex with a woman. Then she proceeds to get on the computer and pulls up some lesbian porn. I was like "WOW!" This is something I have always wanted! She has never been into porn or girls before, at least not that I know of. Now her sex drive is off the charts! We have gone from once a week to two or three times a day.

 

We have discussed what she wants and I want. She wants to play with a woman while I play with her, but doesn't want any contact between the other woman and I. So far we have tried Craigslist, but got nowhere. She was totally turned off by the whole CL thing. There is a club where we live, but she doesn't want to go there for fear of being hit on by some guy or me being hit on by some girl. We did ask a girl we met at a nightclub out, but she turned us down because she has a boyfriend.

 

My question(s) is how do we find a woman who is into that? Also, what potential pitfalls could someone in my circumstance avoid? I have a gay friend who said he would try to get us hooked up with someone, but the waiting is driving both of us mad! Any suggestions on how to find someone, or are we going about this all wrong? At this point, couples and Craigslist are out of the question.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I would make a profile on a swing site stating specifically what you are looking for. There are a lot of couples like you. If you are willing to let your wife play with another wife in front of her husband with out contact from him and without you there then you can probably find a good match and they will reciprocate in the same manner. If you are not willing to do that, then maybe you need to examine yourself and be more giving in order to get what you want.

 

It's hard to find a single girl and most who are bi like the experience of playing with a couple with all involved. I'm not sure how many lesbians would like to be watched by a husband, but everyone is different. You could try going to a lgbt bar or dance club.

 

As far as going to a club, it's a great way to meet people. If being hit on would bother either of you then you definitely shouldn't go. It's very easy to politely say no thanks at a club, and people will be fine. But people will express interest, it's part of the fun and the point of swing clubs!

[cplnuswing 4,713]

You've already ruled out the most likely places to find what is always rare to start with, so your odds of pulling this off are slim given the parameters you are working with.

 

If you are ok with her having a sexual encounter with someone else, but are really the one pushing you being present for it, then I would back off of that. She will be much more likely to find a FF outside of the normal swinging routes I think without you being part of it.

 

In terms of pitfalls, honestly, I kind of see this as a drama bomb waiting to explode. She seems pretty emphatic that you have no contact with the other female, but at the same time wants you there playing with her. How exactly you and the other female, who will most likely be bi, not lesbian, if she is still interested in playing after learning that you will be involved too, are going to walk that line may make it not even worth the trouble to most. I hope y'all can make your fantasy come true, but sometimes fantasies are best left and enjoyed as just that, a fantasy.

[M&S 266]

Would you ever consider hiring an escort. If your wife is not comfortable in an environment where you or she may be flirted with, you may not be ready for a swing club

 

Another option may be a swingers site like LSL or AFF. In our experience on these, you could likely find a couple that is into girl girl play only but her husband would liekly be there. Finding a women who just wants to play w your wife while you watch is certainly possible, but I think will take more looking. Overall, my experience on these sites is you have to be willing to invest a lot of time, as there are quiteboften few people on them who are not exactly as they say they are

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

It doesn't matter what it is you're looking for, there is someone out there for you. However, what you're looking for is not only rare, you've eliminated two of the best venues for finding an appropriate play partner. Doesn't mean you won't find exactly what you want, but - unless you hire an escort - it may take quite a bit of work and patience.

 

If you were looking for guy/guy play with your wife watching, it would actually be fairly easy to find someone. There appears to be something appealingly transgressive about that, so Craigslist frequently has ads from both halves of the scenario. However, women are not men and what might turn men on just seems like either a drama bomb waiting to go off or an opportunity for not very good sex to a woman. If you did post an ad on CL's women for women, I imagine there was a lot of disapproval. In my experience, there are a lot of lesbians who won't play with bisexual women. Period. And even fewer would consider being watched by a man while doing so or having him taking an active role with his wife. Factor in the additional element of being a woman's first time and your pool within the LGBT community is microscopic, even in a big city.

 

Your best bet really is the swinger hook-up sites like SLS, where single bisexual females are scarce but you may find couples who are willing to have only girl/girl play, although you might need to be flexible about having the other husband present.

[angelkin 1,326]

Someone mentioned a gay bar...now, I know nothing of this - so someone PLEASE correct my thinking here if I am wrong. Perhaps a lesbian lady with exhibitionistic tendencies would suit your needs/desires. If we were looking for the same situation, I would head to a gay/lesbian bar and see if there was interest from the patrons. I only say this because I already know how difficult it is to find a single lady in the lifestyle for a couple who wants to share in all the delights of a fmf threesome, let alone the situation that you've described where she wants you to be there and playing with her only while not interacting with the other lady.

 

I hope you find what you're looking for, truly. MauiJane is right, there's someone out there for you.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Everyone above has given you great advice about what to do and what you may come across during your search. I wanted to wish you good luck on your search, because the more you limits you put on yourselves, the harder it will be. I'm not saying those limits are right or wrong, I'm just stating that the more restrictions you put on your list, the harder it will be to get that right woman to be part of your play. Just like house hunting, if you require 3000 sq ft., a negative edge pool, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, an elevator, a bath suite for each bedroom, home movie theater, has to be by the beach with no neighbors in the back, $300k budget, etc. etc. etc. then the search will be long and you might have to be more flexible about your list items if you want your fantasy to become more than just that.

 

But most important, you two need to talk about every step of the way--who, what, where, when, why of everything. Make sure you both are honest and listening to each other. Continue to read articles and threads on swinging and see if this is for the two of you.

[Guest screaminggood]

Are you okay with the another man watching as well? You can probably find a FF at a swinger's bar if that's the case.

[Luv_Bugs 15]

Thanks everyone for your input. First of all, no, I am not pushing her into any scenario. All of this was (is) her idea, without any prompting from me. I am open to couple play where the men have contact with their wives and the wives have contact with one another. Also seeing her with another couple would be a big turn on for me, but she has expressed a desire to be with another woman only. Just watching her with another woman would be enough for me, and she wants me there if it ever happens. She is totally turned off by personal ads and she is afraid of swingers clubs. Hiring an escort is an option she has suggested, but I would rather meet someone who was into my wife, not just my money. So, we are resigned to go to bars and hope to hook up, or wait for my gay friend to introduce us to someone interested. Good thing is we like to go to raves and techno clubs where open minded people hang out.

 

Everyone says that honesty about what each of you want and what your limitations are is key to succesfully navigating this lifestyle. If we are in agreement on what we want to happen and what the boundaries are, how are we going wrong?

[IEcouple 222]

I would be wary of trying to meet a playmate for her at a lesbian bar, or any place that lesbians frequented for that matter. A lot of lesbians are annoyed that their sex lives are a source of titillation for non-lesbians and would not react well to the idea. I'm not saying all of them would, but a bi woman would be a much better bet.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Why is she afraid of swing clubs? They are a great opportunity to meet people and more respectful clientele than you will find at a vanilla club.

 

You can also join a personal ad site to get information on meet and greets, which are very low pressure ways to meet like-minded couples and parties.

 

The nice thing about swing website and clubs is that people are looking for the same thing and understand how swinging works, vs picking someone up at a vanilla bar. It is more comfortable, you will be more successful in finding what you want and there's less chance for drama in my opinion.