Is just FMF ok?

[dustysander3 15]

The other day my girl told me that she is Bi-curios so we are interested in exploring the swing life so I looked into it and found a few clubs near me, the thing is we are only interest in an FMF incounter at some point is this OK? Since one of the clubs dose not alowe single males I'm thinking it is..Also is common to only want a FMF relation and not the FMFM we hear so much about??

 

Thanks...

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Glad to have you here with us!

 

Wanting a FMF is very common, being able to find it is not so common. It's certainly ok, you just need to realize that it may take a longer to get to work out. Do some reading here and you'll find that a favorite term for bi single female swingers is "unicorns". That's because they are about as common as unicorns. What someone is looking for is always out there, it's just a matter of how patient you are willing to be to find it. I wouldn't totally rule out couples with a bi female either. If you are clear up front about what you are looking for, you might find some couples where she is willing to help the stars align and he is ok with sitting that one out.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Seeking FMF only is pretty common these days, finding it is another story. The problem is that many couples are seeking and there aren't as many single females out there looking. As for Single guys being turned away at clubs that has little to do with FMF and everything to do with supply and demand. While there are few single females looking to swing with couples, there are tons of guys. Most clubs choose to either avoid them altogether, or limit them in order to keep them from taking over.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

As everyone has said, looking only for an FMF threesome is both quite common and totally okay, but it can be difficult to find. There aren't a lot of single, bisexual women who swing, but there are a lot of couples who only want that FMF threesome. Your chances of finding a single woman or a partnered one who is willing to play alone would be increased if you became a regular at a local club (make sure you find one you really like, if that's what you decide to do) or swingers' meet and greet group, plus designed a very attractive and interesting profile on one of the swinger hook-up sites like SLS. Be patient, because there is someone for everybody.

[dustysander3 15]

So glad I came across this site, thank you for all your input,so far everyone one here has been great, seems to be the consensuses in the life style huh....Yes the more I read the more I begin to understand the dynamics of it all..At the moment it's something that she brought up the other day while sitting o the couch talking, she commented on me looking at other woman and before I could respond with denial she laughed and said it was OK because she did too, then she talked about being kidnapped as in roll playing and having it be a surprise, not the way I'd go about it but that's how it all started..

 

I've joined a few different sites just to do a limited search and it seem in my area of the North East I see quite a few woman looking to play, how many of them are real I couldn't tell ya,but it's not something we're just going to jump into, we're doing plenty of research and this site has been most informative to say the least.. we'll talk more but I know she's starting to get excited about it.. I do understand to make things happen quicker finding a couple that would be willing to go with an understanding of reciprocation may be the way to go, makes sense to me, and we may stand better chance with that one for we're a very attractive couple in our 40s, hope that doesn't sound conceded because we are far from it, I'm just not sure how that plays roll or if it dose at all,for all I know it could be a pitfall for us..

 

So I'm taking her out to a nice restaurant/club this weekend and we're getting all decked out, after we eat and dance a bit there's a club around the corner that is said to also be frequented by couples in the life, so I was going to go by there for no other reason then to check it out dance some more and have a drink, I hear the dance floor can get a bit steamy ..It's a start!!

 

Thank you again for all the feedback and I look forward to reading and posting in the future.

 

Peace love and understanding...

[M&S 266]

As others have said, what you are seeking is tough, but not impossible, and I do believe that being attractive does help your odds as long as it is matched with a good personality. To get a full FMF with no male present may be especially hard, unless you are willing to entertain hiring an escort (which I actually think is not a bad idea at all for a first time). If you are willing to have another man in the room, I think there would be a decent chance of finding a couple that would be good w either a FMF threesome with him not participating (the newbie, testing the waters card helps here) and a very good chance of finding a couple where the two women play and then have sex with their own partners (I think this is quite common and if, in fact, pretty much how we got started)

[Hippiegirlie 276]

You know, I find it funny that everyone sees a single bi-female swinger as such an elusive product. I have been so for many years. I have had my share of experiences with couples in FWB situations, occasionals, and poly-triads. I have never seen myself as a "unicorn" or something rare. I don't have hoards of desperate couples seeking me out. I have my opportunities, sure, and I take those that interest me, but I don't see myself as any different than anyone else sexually. I can say, though, that I have been the "test dummy" for many newbie swingers. Not a bad thing as I do enjoy teachable moments, but there is something more profound with a couple with experience and comfort.

[dustysander3 15]

Thank you Hippiegirlie...

[Hippiegirlie 276]

dustysander3,

I realize this forum contains many club oriented swingers, but there are many other non-club, private swingers out there, too. I guess what I'm trying to say is; yes FMF is perfectly ok, in or out of a club. Any agreed upon and well thought out sexual act is "ok" for the people involved as long as they choose it. Honestly, for a group of people that are thought to be so open and free by vanillas and mainstreamers, we can impose so many rules on ourselves. Use common sense, use communication and do what's right for you. Happy hunting for a person or persons that compliment you both

[Partyperks847 123]

Hippiegirlie said:

You know, I find it funny that everyone sees a single bi-female swinger as such an elusive product. I have been so for many years. I have had my share of experiences with couples in FWB situations, occasionals, and poly-triads. I have never seen myself as a "unicorn" or something rare. I don't have hoards of desperate couples seeking me out. I have my opportunities, sure, and I take those that interest me, but I don't see myself as any different than anyone else sexually. I can say, though, that I have been the "test dummy" for many newbie swingers. Not a bad thing as I do enjoy teachable moments, but there is something more profound with a couple with experience and comfort.

 

I too am confused by this notion. It may be a regional thing but where I am located single bi sexual woman are many, and practically define their swing identity by their playtime with couples in FMF situations.

 

Perhaps masses of Unicorns have migrated to the upper Midwest, or possibly those who seek them are just not employing the correct approach.

[Chicup 41]

Finding a single female isn't THAT difficult.

 

Finding one that you are interested in playing with can be depending on your tastes. We are generally a couples only couple, but if a single female "fell into our lap" we wouldn't kick her out of bed. The issue I've seen though is that most single females in the lifestyle fit a few categories.

 

1 - Transient: Recently divorced swinger females and recently divorced non swinger females. Both don't last long in the lifestyle as singles. They will find a man sooner or later.

2 - Want your man: We have heard more than one story about single females who assume they should be poly with a couple and will do a minor version of 9.5 weeks after.

3 - Batshit insane: These women are often the hotter ones but they are single because they have something WRONG with them mentally. They are narcissistic or just plain nuts. They want to be worshiped.

4 - Less than attractive: Women who do poorly in the dating world can still find sex in swinging due to supply and demand. I am not being mean just spelling it out.

5 - Unicorns: Sane women, who are attractive, and want to live their own life without a permanent relationship.

 

Just like couples looking for single men complain about finding a good one, its the same with single females only the pool is MUCH MUCH smaller. Your best bet seems to be not at swing sites or clubs but vanilla clubs. If Mrs. Chicup were ever to turn bi-furious, thats where we would start looking.

[Partyperks847 123]

Finding a single female isn't THAT difficult.

 

Finding one that you are interested in playing with can be depending on your tastes. We are generally a couples only couple, but if a single female "fell into our lap" we wouldn't kick her out of bed. The issue I've seen though is that most single females in the lifestyle fit a few categories.

 

1 - Transient: Recently divorced swinger females and recently divorced non swinger females. Both don't last long in the lifestyle as singles. They will find a man sooner or later.

2 - Want your man: We have heard more than one story about single females who assume they should be poly with a couple and will do a minor version of 9.5 weeks after.

3 - Batshit insane: These women are often the hotter ones but they are single because they have something WRONG with them mentally. They are narcissistic or just plain nuts. They want to be worshiped.

4 - Less than attractive: Women who do poorly in the dating world can still find sex in swinging due to supply and demand. I am not being mean just spelling it out.

5 - Unicorns: Sane women, who are attractive, and want to live their own life without a permanent relationship.

 

Just like couples looking for single men complain about finding a good one, its the same with single females only the pool is MUCH MUCH smaller. Your best bet seems to be not at swing sites or clubs but vanilla clubs. If Mrs. Chicup were ever to turn bi-furious, thats where we would start looking.

 

WOW...Just WOW

I am without words, except to say that in my world, (The one absent misogynistic tendencies) all women are capable of deciding to be single, because they choose to be, devoid of inadequacies, insanity or evil plans...and are not relegated to 5th place or as rare as a mythical creature. Maybe you just need to meet a better class of women?

Women who do poorly in the dating world can still find sex in swinging due to supply and demand. I am not being mean just spelling it out.

 

Right, because there are SO few attractive women in the lifestyle...and they have such a hard time competing with less than attractive women(??)

 

***Not whining, but I suspect if I had written anything this patently offensive, I would have 2 to 3 negative reputation comments by now, including one from the site owner...sheesh

[Partyperks847 123]

You know, I find it funny that everyone sees a single bi-female swinger as such an elusive product. I have been so for many years. I have had my share of experiences with couples in FWB situations, occasionals, and poly-triads. I have never seen myself as a "unicorn" or something rare. I don't have hoards of desperate couples seeking me out. I have my opportunities, sure, and I take those that interest me, but I don't see myself as any different than anyone else sexually. I can say, though, that I have been the "test dummy" for many newbie swingers. Not a bad thing as I do enjoy teachable moments, but there is something more profound with a couple with experience and comfort.

 

And I bet you are sane, well adjusted, attractive, and not out to break up anyone marriage either....

[curiousbear 20]

Sounds simple... Why not find a experienced couple and let your mrs do FMF with them ?????

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

 

WOW...Just WOW

I am without words, except to say that in my world, (The one absent misogynistic tendencies) all women are capable of deciding to be single, because they choose to be, devoid of inadequacies, insanity or evil plans...and are not relegated to 5th place or as rare as a mythical creature. Maybe you just need to meet a better class of women?

 

 

Right, because there are SO few attractive women in the lifestyle...and they have such a hard time competing with less than attractive women(??)

 

***Not whining, but I suspect if I had written anything this patently offensive, I would have 2 to 3 negative reputation comments by now, including one from the site owner...sheesh

 

1. I'm not sure why you find what he said so patently offensive.

2. From my experience it's pretty much accurate. I've been a SF in the lifestyle (I fell into category #1, as I didn't last long as a single female). Of the SFs I've known in the lifestyle I've known at least 1 in every single one of those categories.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

1. I'm not sure why you find what he said so patently offensive.

2. From my experience it's pretty much accurate. I've been a SF in the lifestyle (I fell into category #1, as I didn't last long as a single female). Of the SFs I've known in the lifestyle I've known at least 1 in every single one of those categories.

 

Ditto. I spent three years as a SF and also knew at least one woman who fit in each category. I wouldn't have worded the descriptions quite so harshly, but the categories are pretty much spot on.

[Partyperks847 123]

1. I'm not sure why you find what he said so patently offensive.

2. From my experience it's pretty much accurate. I've been a SF in the lifestyle (I fell into category #1, as I didn't last long as a single female). Of the SFs I've known in the lifestyle I've known at least 1 in every single one of those categories.

 

I guess one persons offensive is another persons "ok".

 

I guess even as a guy, I find implying the majority of single bi women in the lifestyle are either psychos, ugly, desperate or evil... offensive

He sort of painted your situation as a negative. I could be wrong but I don't think I am, read it again and let me know.

 

All due respect. you and mauijanedoe knowing 4 women (or even if it were 40 women) who fit the profiles (so do I by the way) doesn't do a lot to convince me it's that pervasive when you are talking about millions of women

 

Anyway...this would not be the first time I have defended woman beyond certain women's desire to be defended...but continuing in that vane might well lead to a prohibited topic (The P word) so I'll leave it at that

[Partyperks847 123]

Ditto. I spent three years as a SF and also knew at least one woman who fit in each category. I wouldn't have worded the descriptions quite so harshly, but the categories are pretty much spot on.

 

A former Chicago area police officer was just convicted of two counts of first degree murder, Son of Sam and and Zimmerman were both auxiliary policeman...One more and we have a valid generality?

Sheesh...tough room!

 

Most single bi women I know are sane, rational, confident and single because they choose to be, have no designs on a man, least of all anyone else s, and independent financially which enables them to hang in a lifestyle that is NOT cheap, and are generally attractive and desirable, which gave them the confidence to step into the role to begin with

 

Edit...By the way, it's "Feigned" not "Fained", and in my case even misspelled, any emotions I express are genuine. I would have told you this privately, but you forgot to sign your comment

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

1. I'm not sure why you find what he said so patently offensive.

2. From my experience it's pretty much accurate. I've been a SF in the lifestyle (I fell into category #1, as I didn't last long as a single female). Of the SFs I've known in the lifestyle I've known at least 1 in every single one of those categories.

 

Yes, I also find these categories to be true. It's not really offensive, he did include the unicorn category. But there are a lot of crazy or unattractive single girls out there in the swinging world.

 

We have met "good" ones also, but it's not common. Unless I suppose you go to a certain party in Chicago where the unicorns are teeming.

[Partyperks847 123]

funcoupledayton said:

Yes, I also find these categories to be true. It's not really offensive, he did include the unicorn category. But there are a lot of crazy or unattractive single girls out there in the swinging world.

 

We have met "good" ones also, but it's not common. Unless I suppose you go to a certain party in Chicago where the unicorns are teeming.

Which event were you interested in attending?

 

Still....you may be on to something...I created a thread about regional and cultural differences in the lifestyle...this may be part of that as well. I too know of places within 150 miles of here who promise "smokin hot playmates" and an "upscale atmosphere" all for $30 and a bowl of potato salad to pass. (Not sure if you have to bring your own serving spoon ) I would imagine there would be many examples that would serve to make your point, and appear to disprove mine there. As I said to Chicup, perhaps a better class of women might give him some additional insight

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I wanted to add something to the recent turn in this thread...the most agreement of Chicup's categories of single females in the LS come from women so far. The most offended poster happens to come from a male. Either it's a regional/cultural issue or women know a woman's mind and designs best.... I haven't had a lot of time and experience yet, but I do know of several that fit in category 1, heard of category type 2 women, haven't come across category 3 personally but have seen them lurking at parties, definitely seen category 4, and haven't met a category 5 type.

 

Let's not pretend...women can be psycho, especially during that time of the month!

[Partyperks847 123]

I wanted to add something to the recent turn in this thread...the most agreement of Chicup's categories of single females in the LS come from women so far. The most offended poster happens to come from a male. Either it's a regional/cultural issue or women know a woman's mind and designs best.... I haven't had a lot of time and experience yet, but I do know of several that fit in category 1, heard of category type 2 women, haven't come across category 3 personally but have seen them lurking at parties, definitely seen category 4, and haven't met a category 5 type.

 

Let's not pretend...women can be psycho, especially during that time of the month!

 

Just a thought, and then I am off to other challenges.....They can also get psycho when they envy another woman's freedom, independence and and ability to work a room without a partner to cramp their style, and the fact that single women are many times, the Belle of the ball...Guys can get psycho when their advances may have been met with less enthusiasm then they may have hoped for from such women...again..just a thought

 

 

"Women seem wicked, when you're unwanted" ..Jim Morrison

 

You also nailed it with the cultural issue thingy

 

I am now off to work, and will give the last word in this discussion to others

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

3 - Batshit insane: These women are often the hotter ones but they are single because they have something WRONG with them mentally. They are narcissistic or just plain nuts. They want to be worshiped.

 

We encountered this woman. Did a little matchmaking and vectored her toward a single guy who had told us, "Don't worry, I can handle that." Did not work out so well for him.

[sexykittennjean 49]

I am a single female and I don't mind playing with couples..I hear all the time that single females are hard to find..that actually follow thru with it..

[Chicup 41]

 

WOW...Just WOW

I am without words, except to say that in my world, (The one absent misogynistic tendencies) all women are capable of deciding to be single, because they choose to be, devoid of inadequacies, insanity or evil plans...and are not relegated to 5th place or as rare as a mythical creature. Maybe you just need to meet a better class of women?

 

And then in the real world, some people are ugly, some people are mentally unsound, and some have ulterior motives. Women do not NEED swinging to get casual sex, so the women who seek out swingers have a reason for doing so. Being most of us in swinging have known these people apparently besides you, perhaps you are just not very good at determining these things

 

Right, because there are SO few attractive women in the lifestyle...and they have such a hard time competing with less than attractive women(??)

 

Allow me to explain market economics to you as it applies to swinging. You see there are a LOT of couples who only want a female, especially newbie ones. Why, can be for a multiple of reasons and they do not matter. What matters is that due to the low supply they may be more willing to "settle". Several years ago I had a female friend who lived out of state and wanted freaky sex. Her husband did not want to play and gave her a hall pass (they divorced shortly after). This was a vanilla couple and she was not very good looking. Anyways at the time I advised her she could try swinging and she did for a while. Her dance card was always full. She wouldn't get a second glance at most bars, but couples were falling over their feet to have her. If I were a unattractive female and I liked sex, I'd be all over swinging.

 

Its just the opposite with single males. If you want to do 'well' as a single male swinger, you gotta be in good shape and good looking. Again, its supply and demand.

 

And of course I must state that this does not mean all, every, never, etc. Its simply that women who fit the bill as unicorns ARE rare over all, the term isn't a mistake. Some women I'm sure are every mans and couples dream hook up, but its irresponsible to tell a new couple that its somehow easy to find such a woman.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

We encountered this woman. Did a little matchmaking and vectored her toward a single guy who had told us, "Don't worry, I can handle that." Did not work out so well for him.

 

I not only encountered, I dated a few of them. I loves me some crazy women, which probably accounts for the relatively large number that passed through my life.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I not only encountered, I dated a few of them. I loves me some crazy women, which probably accounts for the relatively large number that passed through my life.

 

They must have been smoking-burn-through-my-clothes-hot!

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

They must have been smoking-burn-through-my-clothes-hot!

 

Mr. Doe and I bonded over, among other things, our mutual affinity for batshit crazy women and agreed that hot trumped insane, at least for a little while.

[Partyperks847 123]

its irresponsible to tell a new couple that its somehow easy to find such a woman.

 

Too many words...I got bored after "and then", and stopped reading

 

They arev easy to find, but they don't generally respond well to mysoginists

Try hanging out with a better class of women, you won't be so bitter

[Partyperks847 123]

To summarize, i think there are several factors at work here in the less then productive turn this thread took

 

1) regional cultural differences. Chicago, NY, Miami and LA are very different places than some other areas. This is not elitist, this just a fact

If the Bi ladies in these areas, single or otherwise and more plentiful hotter, classier, saner and independent as to not need to steal another woman's man, that should be no surprise. I had a bar meet last night, and had no less tan 10, I have an event tonite, I'll have even more

 

2) A chicken or the egg scenario; We have a Gent who believes most SBFs are insane, calculating, evil fat and ugly, and in the same breath says they are hard to find for FMF....To me at least, it's not hard to see the cause and effect. Women are generally non responsive to those who begin an interaction with negative expectations

 

3) No matter where you go or where you swing, here is going to be an inherent suspicion of single ladies by the ladies within a couple, it's human nature, and since I have been criticized for being to PC, i'll take on a "when in Rome" stance and call it hysterical cattiness and or bitchiness (I then do my best cat growl imitation)

 

I'm sure most of your are resourceful enough and know the swing sites where one can view my the profiles of the SBFs I am associated with, so if you doubt the account of my perspective on this matter, look it up and let me know how insane, fat, ugly and insecure they look.

 

****To the "last word" whiners...as you can see this is an open post which invites a response...so your accusations seem a bit moot

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Too many words...I got bored after "and then", and stopped reading

 

They arev easy to find, but they don't generally respond well to mysoginists

Try hanging out with a better class of women, you won't be so bitter

 

I scrolled up and down this discussion. I see no place where Chicup said that he hangs with the "class" of women he described. Furthermore, you argumentative attitude is becoming tiresome.

[Chicup 41]

Too many words...I got bored after "and then", and stopped reading

 

They arev easy to find, but they don't generally respond well to mysoginists

Try hanging out with a better class of women, you won't be so bitter

 

Perhaps like at a "Partyperks" party?

[Partyperks847 123]

Perhaps like at a "Partyperks" party?

 

Actually no ...based on the attitude you projected here, you would receive the dreaded "sorry but you are not a good match" Email

We welcome all legal ages, races, sized and backgrounds without prejudice and preconceived notions and insist our core membership and VIP members (all 1648 of them) and our welcomed guests follow that mission statement as well. Clearly, this is not for you.

Find like minded couples and meet and the Motel 6...and the four of you can reassure each other that you are the cool kids, and the folks at the party where 300 people are mixing and mingling are the ones with the problem....best of luck

[Partyperks847 123]

I scrolled up and down this discussion. I see no place where Chicup said that he hangs with the "class" of women he described. Furthermore, you argumentative attitude is becoming tiresome.

 

Argumentative is as argumentative does. I expressed that I was offended by his comments, which I was.

Scroll up and down again, and see where the challenge to defend my feelings came from, as well as where the snarkyness came from... see Chicup's last post for example

I stated my case and responded to questions....sorry if I make too much sense

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I feel like apologizing to the OP, whose post was interesting and spawned an equally interesting discussion. In addition, I don't know what time it is where you all are, but it's too early for snarling here in Maui.

 

Can't we all just get along? (Keeping in mind that this is Julie's house 'n all, I think that's just good manners.)

[Partyperks847 123]

I feel like apologizing to the OP, whose post was interesting and spawned an equally interesting discussion. In addition, I don't know what time it is where you all are, but it's too early for snarling here in Maui.

 

Can't we all just get along? (Keeping in mind that this is Julie's house 'n all, I think that's just good manners.)

 

I would think so...I guess I thought I could voice objection to what I thought was an insensitive post, state my experiences on the subject and not have it turn into a verbal blitzkrieg

 

I'll restate it...I think the availability of SBFs for FMF encounters varies from area to area, and in my proximity, it is neither rare, hard to find nor are the ladies in question generally insane, undesirable, looking for a husband, and certainly not looking for other people's husbands.

 

If that is not the case elsewhere fine, I just saw no reason to slander an entire demographic within a gender to say so....that's all

[slevin 1,374]

Too many words...I got bored after "and then", and stopped reading

 

They arev easy to find, but they don't generally respond well to mysoginists

Try hanging out with a better class of women, you won't be so bitter

 

What about the myriad of other people who struggle to find single bi females? They're all hanging out with the wrong class of women? They're all misogynistic and bitter?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm still trying to figure out why you feel that Chicup slandered and entire demographic. He laid out 5 types of women that exist in the lifestyle. They varied from very good & rare (the unicorn) to very bad (the insanes). Yes, he said (and most of us agree) that the really good ones are very rare. That does not slander an entire demographic. That said, one person's crazy is another persons unicorn. So, perhaps what you find to be a perfect unicorn just differs from a lot of us.

 

As MauiJaneDoe (and my best friend) say, the crazy ones make for great sex. So, for some the crazys are still perfect unicorns.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I would think so...I guess I thought I could voice objection to what I thought was an insensitive post, state my experiences on the subject and not have it turn into a verbal blitzkrieg

 

I'll restate it...I think the availability of SBFs for FMF encounters varies from area to area, and in my proximity, it is neither rare, hard to find nor are the ladies in question generally insane, undesirable, looking for a husband, and certainly not looking for other people's husbands.

 

If that is not the case elsewhere fine, I just saw no reason to slander an entire demographic within a gender to say so....that's all

 

You are welcome to voice objection to whatever you feel. Where you rub people the wrong way is in your constant need to state and then restate and then restate it again. It comes across as if you constantly feel the need to have the last word. Sometimes, it's helpful to stop talking long enough to actually listen to what others are saying (or in the case of a forum, actually read an entire post before you reply) - something you admittedly and apparently don't do.

[Partyperks847 123]

What about the myriad of other people who struggle to find single bi females? They're all hanging out with the wrong class of women? They're all misogynistic and bitter?

 

No, and I never said any such thing about everyone.

 

What i said was, It does not take a PhD in human behaviorism to recognize when someone protestith far too much, and that it is possible, if not likely, that it is preconceived notions (be it's origins in upbringing, rejection, culture, envy or whatever) that cause some to to take such a harsh, cynical, skeptical and frankly rude view of the orientation in question.....a chicken or egg scenario.

 

I also said I believe this runs along cultural and regional lines...and I base that on the fact I have had the opportunity to see this not only in my establishment, but in 12 states, 3 countries and 4 cruise ships.

[Partyperks847 123]

You are welcome to voice objection to whatever you feel. Where you rub people the wrong way is in your constant need to state and then restate and then restate it again. It comes across as if you constantly feel the need to have the last word. Sometimes, it's helpful to stop talking long enough to actually listen to what others are saying (or in the case of a forum, actually read an entire post before you reply) - something you admittedly and apparently don't do.

 

All due respect Judy..every post I created this morning was in direct response to an open ended comment or question.

AS for the "last word thing"...That's never my intent, and in fact is just the opposite, I welcome response and discourse. That is what discussion is in MHO

When a subject is beat to death...I have tried the 'lets agree to disagree thing", as I did in THIS thread...it wasn't me who continued.

If I ignore comments as in Chicup's rant where he simply repeated himself I am called pompous, if I reply (as I did to his thinly veiled personal attack) I am called argumentative...sheesh !!!!

What's a boy to do????

[Partyperks847 123]

I'm still trying to figure out why you feel that Chicup slandered and entire demographic. He laid out 5 types of women that exist in the lifestyle. They varied from very good & rare (the unicorn) to very bad (the insanes). Yes, he said (and most of us agree) that the really good ones are very rare. That does not slander an entire demographic. That said, one person's crazy is another persons unicorn. So, perhaps what you find to be a perfect unicorn just differs from a lot of us.

 

As MauiJaneDoe (and my best friend) say, the crazy ones make for great sex. So, for some the crazys are still perfect unicorns.

 

As we disagree on both your defense of Chicup's comments and you last sentence, I suspect the disagreement and difference in perspective are both (dare i say it again?) Regional and Cultural...I almost wish the P WORD was not a prohibited topic here.....peoples ornamentation in that regard would explain MUCH on so many topics, but I fully understand the potential for disaster...so smart decision on your part

[cplnuswing 4,713]

What's a boy to do????

 

one thing in particular comes to mind

[Partyperks847 123]

one thing in particular comes to mind

 

Buy pork bellies, sell gold?

 

***Scanning the thread to see where I called anyone names...can't seem to find it"****

 

Could whoever left the unsigned reputation help me out by pointing it out?

[D&D 362]

At risk of offending everybody rather than just the unicorns: I think Chicup is right but way too narrow in scope....this list describes every swinger.

Every swinger we have met has been a 1-5. I know already....my sample size to small to be statistically significant, not double blind, and not refere'ed, but I'm just as good as everyone else on this board at making sweeping generalizations, which have kernals of truth buried somewhere in them.

How many times on this board have we heard about how difficult finding 4 way chemistry is. While it has not been our good fortune to rustle us up a unicorn and test this ammended theory in whole, we've had our share of couples where at least one member was a 1-4. (We've also met one couple we really connected with. This is almost what i call "a unicorn couple". We went through a lot of couples before catching this one) I am pretty sure I am any one of those 1-4 to some other couple, wish i could be a number 5. I know my wife thinks I am a combination of the rare and completely "batshit" crazy.

 

"Batshit crazy" isnt my cup of tea, but holey smolly one completely "batshit crazy" couple from South Georgia wore Deb and I to a frazzle one night.... "Crazy" certainly can be fun. Mrs D and I laugh about that couple two or three times a week. We most definately are going to get some more of that particular crazy.

 

So I have confirmed my ammended Chicup's 5 types, at least concerning couples, and single males. Sure would like, just as the OP would like, the opportunity to test out what the single ladies are like.

[Partyperks847 123]

At risk of offending everybody rather than just the unicorns: I think Chicup is right but way too narrow in scope....this list describes every swinger.

Every swinger we have met has been a 1-5. I know already....my sample size to small to be statistically significant, not double blind, and not refere'ed, but I'm just as good as everyone else on this board at making sweeping generalizations, which have kernals of truth buried somewhere in them.

How many times on this board have we heard about how difficult finding 4 way chemistry is. While it has not been our good fortune to rustle us up a unicorn and test this ammended theory in whole, we've had our share of couples where at least one member was a 1-4. (We've also met one couple we really connected with. This is almost what i call "a unicorn couple". We went through a lot of couples before catching this one) I am pretty sure I am any one of those 1-4 to some other couple, wish i could be a number 5. I know my wife thinks I am a combination of the rare and completely "batshit" crazy.

 

"Batshit crazy" isnt my cup of tea, but holey smolly one completely "batshit crazy" couple from South Georgia wore Deb and I to a frazzle one night.... "Crazy" certainly can be fun. Mrs D and I laugh about that couple two or three times a week. We most definately are going to get some more of that particular crazy.

 

So I have confirmed my ammended Chicup's 5 types, at least concerning couples, and single males. Sure would like, just as the OP would like, the opportunity to test out what the single ladies are like.

 

A broader yet more accurate brush focusing on human, not single gender nature, devoid of contempt and resentment....Bravo, thank you and BIG thumbs up!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Buy pork bellies, sell gold?

 

***Scanning the thread to see where I called anyone names...can't seem to find it"****

 

Could whoever left the unsigned reputation help me out by pointing it out?

 

I didn't leave the rep, but in reviewing the thread I feel pretty confident it was the misogynist comment on the prior page.

 

A bit of unsolicited advice: You're really damaging your brand as a party host by continuing to get in these sniping contests in multiple threads. Many of these threads stay around forever, and people are going to read them and make decisions about your club based on what you've written for years to come. It appears you want to win every battle, and that is going to hurt your business in the long run. As someone with a financial stake in swinging, it's usually better to make your point and move onto the next thread instead of getting into a point/counterpoint point/counterpoint point/counterpoint discussion that becomes an argument time after time. Most of the members here have nothing to lose when they get snarky in a thread. You have the potential of alienating potential members for many years. Don't try to win every battle and then end up losing the war, so to speak.

 

Just a thought.

[Chicup 41]

Actually no ...based on the attitude you projected here, you would receive the dreaded "sorry but you are not a good match" Email

We welcome all legal ages, races, sized and backgrounds without prejudice and preconceived notions and insist our core membership and VIP members (all 1648 of them) and our welcomed guests follow that mission statement as well. Clearly, this is not for you.

Find like minded couples and meet and the Motel 6...and the four of you can reassure each other that you are the cool kids, and the folks at the party where 300 people are mixing and mingling are the ones with the problem....best of luck

 

You already sent your blanket email invite to us quite a while ago, we joined the group, saw it was not our type of party and left your group. This was LONG before you showed up here. I realize you are trying to protect your turf here somewhat playing internet white knight but its silly. Anyone who has been in swinging a longish time will know what I said is for the most part spot on. The last "big" party we attended was Jbooty, you might wanna look that one up to see all those "cool kids"

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

At risk of offending everybody rather than just the unicorns: I think Chicup is right but way too narrow in scope....this list describes every swinger.

Every swinger we have met has been a 1-5. I know already....my sample size to small to be statistically significant, not double blind, and not refere'ed, but I'm just as good as everyone else on this board at making sweeping generalizations, which have kernals of truth buried somewhere in them.

How many times on this board have we heard about how difficult finding 4 way chemistry is. While it has not been our good fortune to rustle us up a unicorn and test this ammended theory in whole, we've had our share of couples where at least one member was a 1-4. (We've also met one couple we really connected with. This is almost what i call "a unicorn couple". We went through a lot of couples before catching this one) I am pretty sure I am any one of those 1-4 to some other couple, wish i could be a number 5. I know my wife thinks I am a combination of the rare and completely "batshit" crazy.

 

"Batshit crazy" isnt my cup of tea, but holey smolly one completely "batshit crazy" couple from South Georgia wore Deb and I to a frazzle one night.... "Crazy" certainly can be fun. Mrs D and I laugh about that couple two or three times a week. We most definately are going to get some more of that particular crazy.

 

So I have confirmed my ammended Chicup's 5 types, at least concerning couples, and single males. Sure would like, just as the OP would like, the opportunity to test out what the single ladies are like.

 

I actually agree with you. This thread was about single females, so that was the focus, but you are correct that everyone (swinger or otherwise, really) fits into 1 of those 5 types. And, I still say that what may be considered a perfect unicorn to one may be "batshit crazy" to another (or vice versa).

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

All due respect Judy..every post I created this morning was in direct response to an open ended comment or question.

AS for the "last word thing"...That's never my intent, and in fact is just the opposite, I welcome response and discourse. That is what discussion is in MHO

When a subject is beat to death...I have tried the 'lets agree to disagree thing", as I did in THIS thread...it wasn't me who continued.

If I ignore comments as in Chicup's rant where he simply repeated himself I am called pompous, if I reply (as I did to his thinly veiled personal attack) I am called argumentative...sheesh !!!!

What's a boy to do????

 

Two things.

1. My name is not Judy (it's pretty obvious what my name is, it's in my username).

2. It is possible to let a discussion continue on without you. The fact that you seem unable to do so, is where so many of us have come to the conclusion that you feel the need to have the last word.