Another Meet another Clanger

[Gordo 618]

Met another couple that contacted us last night. We exchanged several emails and pics with them first. According to the emails they have had experience and are into the sensuality.

 

When they arrive at the pub she's showing attitude right off the bat you can see the emotions in her face and it's pretty apparent she does not want to be there.

 

When you start probing a bit it turns out they live in separate towns hundreds of miles apart & have just been dating. She let's it slip that he is still dating other women (she's not happy about this) and have just been together (long distance) for a few months.

 

She has the conversational skills of a block of wood and her voice is so soft that she is overwhelmed by three ladies sitting 20 feet away. Everytime she talks she looks at him and you can't hear a word she says.

 

I still don't know 90% of what she said last night. There is no attraction for me nada, no, zip, zero!

 

After an hour of us asking them dozens of questions trying to get a conversation going (and failing) I finally said to the wife "we should get going are you finished with that" (her drink) and she says "NO!!!" I could have kicked her ass into orbit. She's got a couple of mouthfuls of cider left and I would have gladly bought her an entire case of the damn things just to get the hell out of there. She even admitted that was a real brain fart after...

 

But the real kicker was when she said after "I liked him I wonder if any of the other women he's dating are more fun?" I swear you can't make this kind of stuff up

 

I can't even imagine why they are out there trying to swing. I can't imagine any real swingers chosing this F* Up scenario.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Maybe he has other profiles with the other ladies? My guess is he's a single guy that wants to swing, and she evidently REALLY wants to be with him.

[twistedpretzels 100]

We let folks know right off Pete and I are not married and live a few hours apart, but that we are a committed couple. We occassionally see other people on the side but always let one another know about it-- generally prior to the event. Some folks have turned us down because of that bit of information, which is fine and why we share it with them. Some folks feel more comfortable being with married people. We respect and understand that and that is why we share that. Other couples have dinner with us and then have declined due to (or not. lol) not living or being married. We have turned down couples that are couples but just folks cheating on their respective spouses. We were told we were stick in the muds due to declining on those grounds. We have had a couple who turned us down because 'we weren't a real couple (say what??!!lol) only to contact us a year later saying 'what were we thinking-- we really liked you at dinner!'. For us, esp. me, I like a certain number of emails or IM's that give me more of a moral (immoral...lol) and social barometer of who the couple/single really is. Sorry it was such a weird evening-- I assume your wife felt the same vibes also.

[Gordo 618]

We let folks know right off Pete and I are not married and live a few hours apart, but that we are a committed couple. We occassionally see other people on the side but always let one another know about it-- generally prior to the event. Some folks have turned us down because of that bit of information, which is fine and why we share it with them. Some folks feel more comfortable being with married people. We respect and understand that and that is why we share that. Other couples have dinner with us and then have declined due to (or not. lol) not living or being married. We have turned down couples that are couples but just folks cheating on their respective spouses. We were told we were stick in the muds due to declining on those grounds. We have had a couple who turned us down because 'we weren't a real couple (say what??!!lol) only to contact us a year later saying 'what were we thinking-- we really liked you at dinner!'. For us, esp. me, I like a certain number of emails or IM's that give me more of a moral (immoral...lol) and social barometer of who the couple/single really is. Sorry it was such a weird evening-- I assume your wife felt the same vibes also.

 

Our decision might have been different if we had known they were not a couple. I have nothing against boyfriend/girlfriend as long as it has been a suitable time and they are OK with what they are doing but this wasn't disclosed upfront.

 

My wife described it as one of the worst attempts at conversation she'd ever had and the lady was WIERD. I agree but the kicker to me was when she said I like HIM I wonder if one of his other girlfriends are more fun. That just blew me right away. It just doesn't fit into swinging & was so unlike her. It made me wonder if she wasn't more into him than she let on!

 

The whole thing felt like an episode from the twilight zone.

 

Ah well the waitress was CUTE! Something redeeming!

[Gordo 618]

she evidently REALLY wants to be with him.

 

That was what we came up with too.

[M&S 266]

So.... I had thought we had been on some bad/akward meet-ups but yours takes the cake. You just made me feel much better about some of the relativelY painless evenings we have had with a couple where it was clear there was no connection.

[corynlaine 118]

So I don't want to derail your thread but we're kind of having the same situation.

Couple contacted us and we seemed to hit it off. We meet for drinks and chat.

She seems far more reserved, but carrying on more of a conversation then your girl

 

We find out that they've been together for a while but live about 40 minutes apart in 2 separate houses and because of her wrok schedule and dauther they don't see each other every day. OK. Night went fairly well so we decide we should continue to chat (text) and my wife and he exchange numbers.

 

They've been chatting on and off pretty much everyday and she has been sharing everything with me, but ome text indicate that he thinks he's just writing to her.

One that was a bit of a red flag to me was something along the lines of "if it was up to me we'd be licking adn sucking etc - we debated whether he meant all of us, him and us or jsut her and him. I being the more cynical read it as her and him since as far as he knew he was texting her and that would fit the contect more than anything else. She read it as all of us since they were talking about sex as 2 couples.

 

Several times she asks to get her number so we can text her as well and get to know her a bit. First time he blew her off but then sent it. They have exchanged a total of like 10 texts while he has sent close to a 100. (again I've seen all of them and I don't have a problem with her, but I am thinking that

1) she may know nothing about what he is doing

2) he admitted that she's a "total sub" and maybe going along because he tells her to.

 

I can't decide how to read this and whether we should jsut blow them off. We're meeting for dinner and chat with no intention to play.

 

I am wondering if you folks could suggest questions etc on how to decide what's going on?

[Gordo 618]

So I don't want to derail your thread but we're kind of having the same situation.

Couple contacted us and we seemed to hit it off. We meet for drinks and chat.

She seems far more reserved, but carrying on more of a conversation then your girl

 

We find out that they've been together for a while but live about 40 minutes apart in 2 separate houses and because of her wrok schedule and dauther they don't see each other every day. OK. Night went fairly well so we decide we should continue to chat (text) and my wife and he exchange numbers.

 

They've been chatting on and off pretty much everyday and she has been sharing everything with me, but ome text indicate that he thinks he's just writing to her.

One that was a bit of a red flag to me was something along the lines of "if it was up to me we'd be licking adn sucking etc - we debated whether he meant all of us, him and us or jsut her and him. I being the more cynical read it as her and him since as far as he knew he was texting her and that would fit the contect more than anything else. She read it as all of us since they were talking about sex as 2 couples.

 

Several times she asks to get her number so we can text her as well and get to know her a bit. First time he blew her off but then sent it. They have exchanged a total of like 10 texts while he has sent close to a 100. (again I've seen all of them and I don't have a problem with her, but I am thinking that

1) she may know nothing about what he is doing

2) he admitted that she's a "total sub" and maybe going along because he tells her to.

 

I can't decide how to read this and whether we should jsut blow them off. We're meeting for dinner and chat with no intention to play.

 

I am wondering if you folks could suggest questions etc on how to decide what's going on?

 

Sorry we didn't respond sooner. I wonder how the dinner went. If you haven't had it I would listen to your gut feeling.

It appears you have some real doubts about what is going on and that is probably your most accurate gauge of the situation.

 

With us I do most of the contact and talking my wife prefers to have no preconceived thoughts about the people to the point where she won't even look at pictures.

She wants to meet them for themselves.

 

But for all the questions I asked upfront this one caught me entirely out of left field. I mean how many people would you ask (appearing as a couple) if they live in the same town?

anyway if you have an update on anything that happened with yours I'd like to hear it. Don't worry about derailing the thread we're all here to learn :-)

[corynlaine 118]

sorry it's been so long. I sat down to type an update a couple of times and something always seemed to ahve gotten in the way.

 

I don't think I mentioned this before, but this couple also lives apart, though only 45 min. So we went to dinner, where the couple spent a lot of time basically having their own conversation, talking to each other. They they tell us about the wonderfull time they had on vacation (local area). My wife originally suggested that if they were interested we could drive up and have private fun time. They gave us the the same excuse that while it sounded hot, they weren't ready. So they continue on about how they went to all the sites etc. Then he tells (im keeping this short) us how they placed an add on craigslist for single guy and had a blast with him and described it in detail.

 

All the while theyre showing us some pretty explicit pics of both of them on their phone etc. Also he has been texting my wife every day. His gf says she knows about it.

 

Anyway long story short, we left with the feeling of a) WTF b) while appearantly good enough to send explicit pics on a daily basis and text non stop we're not good enough to do anything else with. And the way they decided to tell us is to rub our nose in it by telling us how thy had a great time with a guy they picked up off of CL.

 

Obviously our issue is not with what they did -it's not like we're clinging or anything, but both of us looked at each other and said WTF - this is a strange way to tell us you don't like us. Anyway they were shocked when my told him the next day not to bother.

[Gordo 618]

That is a weird situation. They'll pick up a casual connection but aren't "ready" to swing with someone they are meeting, texting and swapping pics! That comes dangerously close to being the ultimate insult I don't blame you for dropping them.

 

Just to add to ours I received an email response to the same ad yesterday from the same guy. Only this time he's a single and wants to do a threesomes. Some of these guys can't even keep track of their own lying. There's a great smartphone app if someone wants to code one. You go to send an email and a little box pops up "no no you've already lied to these people":D