Guy slid in without a condom on

[ransa 16]

Wifey and I were at a party a couple weeks ago and she ran into a guy that's close to us and seemed like someone that could be a regular. He was over last week and no issues. Last met up for drinks and headed back to our place. I was downstairs making drinks and I get upstairs and they are already going at it. All is well until tonight. Wifey asks if you can get a disease from a guy rubbing on your pussy without a condom on. At that point I asked "what going on, what happened?" She said they were in the room nude, him behind her, and he bent her over and was rubbing his cock on her pussy. I was all that has the potential to go bad, was he all wet? She did not think so but I have to assume he was as they were touching each other in the restaurant. Then a few minutes later she said he rubbed on her and actually slid in. It took her a sec to realize he was not wearing a condom.....it felt good and then she realized and pulled away. He said "you always wear condoms?" She was like yes so he put one on. That's when I get there clueless.

 

Now it is all concerning. Wifey is not on birth control. He was in the porn industry. I read 66% of people in porn have Herpes. Am I correct in thinking you can't get herpes from pre cum? They are sores on the outside correct. I suppose there is the exposure to HIV (slim), and others but the contact was very brief. I am a little frustrated though. Wife had two drinks to loosen up and he tried to take advantage of the situation with me not there. Really not pleased, we were just getting back into this and makes us reconsider, just like the last two times issues came up that caused us to rethink the LS.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

A condom does very little to reduce the chance of becoming infected with herpes. It is passed from one person to another by simple skin-to-skin contact. It is most likely when the person who carries the virus is having an active breakout but can happen at other times.

 

As far as your establishment of a rule of wearing condoms for any kind of penetration, that is wise.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Herpes is passed during skin contact and condoms are not a particularly effective barrier since the virus can theoretically be shed anywhere on the lower torso. In addition, the absence of visible lesions doesn't mean anything, because a lot of those infected with herpes don't have outbreaks but can still pass along the virus through what is called asymptomatic shedding.

 

I hope this doesn't sound like blaming, because it isn't, but the combination of two drinks for your wife and your absence just isn't a good one with anyone you don't know well enough to trust completely. In addition, it's important at every meeting to reinforce your rules about condom use and anything else and then stay alert and aware enough to stop what doesn't meet your standards. It's not so much that people will take advantage as that it's your responsibility to make certain that they don't.

[sparkstar 128]

66% of porn stars have herpes...lol

Maybe in Africa, but then, there is no porn coming from Africa.

 

Don't worry about something like that. And also she won't be pregnant.

You really haven't been around much

[ransa 16]

Herpes is passed during skin contact and condoms are not a particularly effective barrier since the virus can theoretically be shed anywhere on the lower torso. In addition, the absence of visible lesions doesn't mean anything, because a lot of those infected with herpes don't have outbreaks but can still pass along the virus through what is called asymptomatic shedding.

 

I hope this doesn't sound like blaming, because it isn't, but the combination of two drinks for your wife and your absence just isn't a good one with anyone you don't know well enough to trust completely. In addition, it's important at every meeting to reinforce your rules about condom use and anything else and then stay alert and aware enough to stop what doesn't meet your standards. It's not so much that people will take advantage as that it's your responsibility to make certain that they don't.

 

I don't take it as blaming, problem is we live with wife's mother, so wifey runs upstairs with her boy toy while I get everything else together. We are in our 30's and 40's mom helps with taking care of our kid. So unfortunately wifey does rely on me to keep an eye on things a little too much.

 

This is the 3rd time to play with this guy, the 1st and last time she told him condoms. I thought it was pretty clear. yes/no. I am not in the room when play time begins...3rd time with people means no rain coats?? No right...am I being too negative here or were we too trusting? Don't really want to meet up with the guy any more.

[ransa 16]

66% of porn stars have herpes...lol

Maybe in Africa, but then, there is no porn coming from Africa.

 

Don't worry about something like that. And also she won't be pregnant.

You really haven't been around much

 

Did not really think she would get pregnant. It took us seven months to have our first and only. This whole thing got us looking for STD statistics. Which of course depending on the source will depend on the reliability. Yes we have not been around much lol. These types of issues are why we stopped exploring the "lifestyle" the last two times.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

This is the 3rd time to play with this guy, the first and last time she told him condoms. I thought it was pretty clear. yes/no. I am not in the room when play time begins ........ 3rd time with people means no rain coats?? no right............am I being too negative here or were we too trusting? Don't really want to meet up with the guy any more.

 

I do kinda think you're being both too trusting and too negative. Unless you've been with someone often enough that you feel you are something close to friends, and maybe even then, you do need to reinforce your rules each time. It isn't so much that people take advantage as that your rules are really only important to you, which makes it essential to state them over and over to others. You don't have to hand out a rulebook or anything, but a simple reminder that you're condom-only folks each time you play is going to prevent stuff like this, particularly if you can't be present in the room.

 

I'd get rid of the guy too, because even though it's your rules/your responsibility, he didn't ask before he did it and that's at the very least a symptom of poor judgment. There are a lot of solo guys out there, so the problematic ones should probably be kicked to the curb.

[sparkstar 128]

Don't worry about STD's (I know what you're thinking after reading that!), the less you worry about them the more you'll feel relaxed causing the sex to be better. I'm not saying to be carefree about it, just be careful and don't worry. These sort of things happen ALL the time, if STD's were as common as the media and a lot of people believe then the human race would be reduced from 6/7 billion to a few million. Look at Africa, it is estimated 50% of people have AIDS yet look how many people are still living there... their population doesn't go down it actually goes up! Well, before all the recent fighting anyway.

 

Tell him if he wants to go bareback with her he should go get tested with her so everyone knows it is safe to do so. If he refuses then tough he has to use condoms.

 

If she doesn't want to go on birth control then he has to respect that he has to use condoms.

 

If you want to be 100% certain she can never get pregnant by another man then you shouldn't be swinging, or just use condoms and another form of birth control if you are very paranoid about it.

 

Having multiple sex partners is always risky no matter how safe you try to be.

[ransa 16]

Don't worry about STD's (I know what you're thinking after reading that!), the less you worry about them the more you'll feel relaxed causing the sex to be better. I'm not saying to be carefree about it, just be careful and don't worry. These sort of things happen ALL the time, if STD's were as common as the media and a lot of people believe then the human race would be reduced from 6/7 billion to a few million. Look at Africa, it is estimated 50% of people have AIDS yet look how many people are still living there... their population doesn't go down it actually goes up! Well, before all the recent fighting anyway.

 

Tell him if he wants to go bareback with her he should go get tested with her so everyone knows it's safe to do so. If he refuses then tough he has to use condoms.

If she doesn't want to go on birth control then he has to respect that he has to use condoms.

 

If you want to be 100% certain she can never get pregnant by another man then you shouldn't be swinging, or just use condoms and another form of birth control if you are very paranoid about it.

 

Having multiple sex partners is always risky no matter how safe you try to be.

 

Thanks to all for the replies. Wifey gets too lazy to go down to the OB/GYN. And says "the pill makes me fat" so wants to get on the IUD. I feel for dude, I can't stand condoms either, makes it hard for me to swing lol. And I have done some searching here on this exact topic and was covered, he could get tested that does not mean he is her "exclusive" boy toy so next week can be a whole different ball game. The him being involved in the porn industry really got me worried though. Males don't make a lot male on female, it's the male on male stuff where you get paid. He has not mentioned male on male. I did not know I would be wondering about what he was exposed to while working. Oh well.

[sparkstar 128]

IUD seems a bit harsh, my missus has the arm implant it lasts for three years before it needs renewing, she says it's the best she's ever had after using different pills for years.

 

I'm with you on the condoms, they do dampen the mood somewhat. What we do when meeting up with single guys, use a condom for first meeting, then if she and the guy likes each other and he asks if condoms are needed, she will then say if he wants to go bareback he will have to get a recent STD certificate to prove he is clean, or just go to the clinic together pretending to be a couple. It takes two weeks for the blood test results.

 

And asking for the guy to not cum inside her is such a waste of time if she is on birth control. If she gets pregnant it's going to be her husband's because let's face it his sperm is always in her unless they don't have sex often or he's firing blanks.

 

My friend sees my missus every few days on average (normally every weekend), he rarely sleeps with other women maybe once every 5 months, they've not been using condoms for almost a year, he usually finishes inside her vagina.

I sleep with her every day or two and always finish inside her vagina.

 

There's another guy she meets up with once every month she doesn't use condoms with, I've never met him but she says he's married and trusts him a lot that he only sleeps with her and his wife. They've been seeing each other for five years now - I kid you not.

 

Going by some people's theory, and judging by the amount of sperm she gets, she should already be pregnant. Like she tells me - it's harder to get pregnant than some people think.

 

If he's doing men though, I'd personally be uncomfortable with that. It's apparently far easier to catch STI's from anal sex. Though my friend always/usually does it with my missus but I know he's only seeing just her so it's ok. Anal does nothing for me, theres nothing more nicer than the feel of a woman's wet one!

[ransa 16]

IUD seems a bit harsh, my missus has the arm implant it lasts for 3 years before it needs renewing, she says it is the best she's ever had after using different pills for years.

 

I'm with you on the condoms they do dampen the mood somewhat. What we do when meeting up with single guys, use a condom for first meeting, then if she and the guy likes each other and he asks if condoms are needed she will then say if he wants to go bareback he will have to get a recent STD certificate to prove he is clean, or just go to the clinic together pretending to be a couple, takes two weeks for the blood test results.

 

And asking for the guy to not cum inside her is such a waste of time if she's on birth control. If she gets pregnant it is going to be her husband's because lets face it his sperm is always in her unless they don't have sex often or he's firing blanks.

 

My friend sees my missus every few days on average (normally every weekend), he rarely sleeps with other women maybe once every 5 months, they've not been using condoms for almost a year, he usually finishes inside her vagina.

 

I sleep with her every day or two and always finish inside her vagina.

 

There's another guy she meets up with once every month she doesn't use condoms with, I've never met him but she says he's married and trusts him a lot that he only sleeps with her and his wife. They've been seeing each other for five years now - I kid you not.

 

Going by some people's theory, and judging by the amount of sperm she gets, she should already be pregnant. Like she tells me - it is harder to get pregnant than some people think.

 

If he's doing men though, I'd personally be uncomfortable with that. It's apparently far easier to catch STI's from anal sex. Though my friend always/usually does it with my missus but I know he's only seeing just her so it's ok. Anal does nothing for me, there's nothing more nicer than the feel of a woman's wet one!

 

I know this is not a contraception forum but not sure I understand what's "harsh" about a IUD.

[JandKinBoise 858]

We just don't bother anymore. The first time we brought a guy in I put a rubber on him. He went soft for the night. After that, we tended to end up with older professional men in relationships and didn't bother with condoms. She's fixed so no babies and nothing better than skin on skin and a pussy full of jizz. I know condoms are the norm and it's always a discussion which is followed by elation of him not needing one.

[slevin 1,374]

66% of porn stars have herpes...lol

Maybe in Africa, but then, there is no porn coming from Africa.

 

Don't worry about something like that. And also she won't be pregnant.

You really haven't been around much

 

Why shouldn't people worry about Herpes? It's not something "coming from Africa", Herpes is a highly prevalent infection throughout North America and Europe. It's also something that condoms don't provide much protection against and you can get from someone with no visible signs of infection.

 

As for the porn industry comment; I don't believe that the porn industry tests for Herpes, so I'd be suspicious of any statistics not backed up by an actual statistical analysis of test data. That said, since they don't test for it, they are likely to be of a similar infection rate as the rest of the world, if not worse due to their increase in frequency and number of partners.

[ransa 16]

Why shouldn't people worry about Herpes? It's not something "coming from Africa", Herpes is a highly prevalent infection throughout North America and Europe. It's also something that condoms don't provide much protection against and you can get from someone with no visible signs of infection.

 

As for the porn industry comment; I don't believe that the porn industry tests for Herpes, so I'd be suspicious of any statistics not backed up by an actual statistical analysis of test data. That said, since they don't test for it, they are likely to be of a similar infection rate as the rest of the world, if not worse due to their increase in frequency and number of partners.

 

Just concerned that someone who has been exposed to a lot of STD's has nothing to lose. Someone that does not ask 1st does not care. It is probably nothing and does not matter now. From what I have read herpes, syphilis etc are all treatable. Just not something I was interested in finding out about at this time LOL.

[sparkstar 128]

Why shouldn't people worry about Herpes? It's not something "coming from Africa", Herpes is a highly prevalent infection throughout North America and Europe. It's also something that condoms don't provide much protection against and you can get from someone with no visible signs of infection.

 

As for the porn industry comment; I don't believe that the porn industry tests for Herpes, so I'd be suspicious of any statistics not backed up by an actual statistical analysis of test data. That said, since they don't test for it, they are likely to be of a similar infection rate as the rest of the world, if not worse due to their increase in frequency and number of partners.

 

The porn industry in Europe requires for all STI's to be checked. My ex was/is a porn star. She used to get checked up every month with a certificate with a list of things they checked for, it had everything on there sexually related.

The hospital clinics near where I live, when you go into that department they ask what do you want checked, you say everything and that's what they do.

 

You didn't understand where i was coming from when I said don't worry about it. I've previously explained why, I'm not typing it again - I don't type long messages for no reason. Though I will add to what I've already said that as long as you get checked up every so often then you can catch almost all infections early and get them treated.

 

A lot of people don't get checked up either at all or rarely like every 1-5 years. Then yes those people have reason to worry. I've known a lot of people who get to their 40's or 50's who have been with 10-100+ people without condoms and they have never been tested... which is why I very rarely go without a condom with a new partner unless I know the person is safe - tested.

 

Ransa's wife has been with a pornstar without a condom who he is not allowed to work unless he is clean. He has sex with people who get checked up every month including himself, he has sex with maybe no more than 2 or 3 people per month without a condom, I bet Ransa has never been tested so if anything the chances are that they are the one's who could have passed a disease to the single man not the other way around.

[slevin 1,374]

Just concerned that someone who has been exposed to a lot of STD's has nothing to lose. Someone that does not ask 1st does not care. It is probably nothing and does not matter now. From what I have read herpes, syphilis etc are all treatable. Just not something I was interested in finding out about at this time LOL.

 

Herpes is not curable in the same way syphilis or gonorrhea are. Herpes can be 'managed', but once you have it you will always have it.

[slevin 1,374]

The porn industry in Europe requires for all STI's to be checked. My ex was/is a pornstar she used to get checked up month with a certificate with a list of things they checked for, it had everything on there sexually related.

 

In North America porn industry STI tests do not include herpes. Also, if you walk in off the street to a clinic or your doctor and ask for an STI test they won't automatically include herpes in the test. You have to specifically ask for herpes to be included.

[JM153 346]

As I understand it the only reliable test for Herpes is a swab of a visible sore. Blood tests produce false positives. The treatment is an antibiotic which has few side effects. Therefore, when a patient presents without any visible sores, but believing they have been exposed many physicians will just give them a prescription just in case. So for the OP, what I would do, assuming the wife does not have any unusual itching or visible sores, is ask the guy about STD's and also decline to play with him in the future. Of course if he tells you about an STD then your wife should go to the Doctor and if he denies any and your still concerned then go to the Doctor anyway.

[slevin 1,374]

The blood tests are much better now and doctors find them to be more reliable. Many doctors still prefer to have a sore to test on though.

 

There really isn't an antibiotic treatment for herpes. There are some antiviral medications that you can be prescribed though. These medications are just to try and help suppress outbreaks of the virus or reduce the duration or severity of an outbreak though. They don't do anything to actually remove infection.

[JM153 346]

The blood tests are much better now and doctors find them to be more reliable. Many doctors still prefer to have a sore to test on though.

 

There really isn't an antibiotic treatment for herpes. There are some antiviral medications that you can be prescribed though. These medications are just to try and help suppress outbreaks of the virus or reduce the duration or severity of an outbreak though. They don't do anything to actually remove infection.

 

Thanks for the correction and clarification. I used antibiotics when I should have used antiviral. And as you say they do not remove the infection so they are not a cure. Herpes is a chronic condition that is managed. There is some evidence to support that a low dose antiviral (I don't remember which one) taken for a year will effectively prevent future outbreaks. For most people the management of Herpes is effective and for most they only are contagious when there are visible sores present. That is most, not all. As to when sores are present it is quite easy to determine for males as they can be seen on the penis and there will be pain or itching. With women, however they can be inside the Virgina and not obvious and not have the pain or itching that males have. The bottom line for the OP, if the guy is infected with Herpes he probably knows it and if he was in it's most contagious state your wife would have probably noticed.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

As to when sores are present it is quite easy to determine for males as they can be seen on the penis and there will be pain or itching. With women, however they can be inside the Virgina and not obvious and not have the pain or itching that males have. The bottom line for the OP, if the guy is infected with Herpes he probably knows it and if he was in it's most contagious state your wife would have probably noticed.

 

I wish this was true, but it isn't. Herpes outbreaks can present as everything from a pimple on the upper thigh to invisible, asymptomatic shedding. It's one of the reasons that most people who have herpes don't know they have it. Also, herpes lesions don't generally itch and are rarely found inside the vagina, as the virus has a preference for moist but not wet tissue. Lesions are also rarely found on the penis itself, which is why condoms are not particularly effective in prevention for this particular STD.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I know this is not a contraception forum but not sure I understand whats "harsh" about a IUD.

 

IUD's are a great form of birth control. Absolutely great for many people. Easy procedure and last a long time. You do still have to be particularly cautious about sti's because they are more dangerous with an iud because there is a greater incidence of pelvic inflammatory disease if you get an infection with an iud in place. If you want to avoid condoms they're not a great solution, but they are great birth control.

[IEcouple 222]

66% of porn stars have herpes...lol

Maybe in Africa, but then, there is no porn coming from Africa.

 

Both Rocco Siffredi and Belladonna have said in interviews that genital herpes is so common among porn actors that few people are concerned about it. Granted, those two have done a LOT of scenes with many other performers. But I doubt either of them would lie about it either.

[ransa 16]

The porn industry in Europe requires for all STI's to be checked. My ex was/is a porn star she used to get checked up month with a certificate with a list of things they checked for, it had everything on there sexually related.

The hospital clinics near where I live, when you go into that department they ask what do you want checked, you say everything and that's what they do.

 

You didn't understand where i was coming from when I said don't worry about it, I've previously explained why, I'm not typing it again - i don't type look messages for no reason. Though I will add to what I've already said that as long as you get checked up every so often then you can catch almost all infections early and get them treated.

 

A lot of people don't get checked up either at all or rarely like every 1-5 years. Then yes those people have reason to worry. I've known a lot of people who get to their 40's or 50's who have been with 10-100+ people without condoms and they have never been tested... which is why I very rarely go without a condom with a new partner unless I know the person is safe - tested.

 

Ransa's wife has been with a porn star without a condom and he is not allowed to work unless he is clean. He has sex with people who get checked up every month including himself, he has sex with maybe no more than 2 or 3 people per month without a condom, I bet Ransa has never been tested so if anything the chances are that they are the one's who could have passed a disease to the single man not the other way around.

 

Not aware of any testing in the US in the industry that is regulated by the government. Wife has been tested twice that I know of. Last year the most recent when in to go see the OB/GYN. But I don't know exactly what they test for as it was not an issue. Seven years ago when she immigrated to the US she was tested for INS but also don't know exactly what they test for.

[ransa 16]

IUD's are a great form of birth control. Absolutely great for many people. Easy procedure and last a long time. You do still have to be particularly cautious about sti's because they are more dangerous with an iud because there is a greater incidence of pelvic inflammatory disease if you get an infection with an iud in place. If you want to avoid condoms they're not a great solution, but they are great birth control.

 

Is what I read good for birth control but if you get an infection of some sort is not good when you have an IUD.

[ransa 16]

As I understand it the only reliable test for Herpes is a swab of a visible sore. Blood tests produce false positives. The treatment is an antibiotic which has few side effects. Therefore, when a patient presents without any visible sores, but believing they have been exposed many physicians will just give them a prescription just in case. So for the OP, what I would do, assuming the wife does not have any unusual itching or visible sores, is ask the guy about STD's and also decline to play with him in the future. Of course if he tells you about an STD then your wife should go to the Doctor and if he denies any and your still concerned then go to the Doctor anyway.

 

This guy is cut off, no visible sores on him either. But the not asking before doing has left both of us not really happy with him. We don't know him well enough to know what he was exposed to in the industry or how long in it, sounded like in the local Phoenix area industry. Whatever that is.

[sparkstar 128]

Not aware of any testing in the US in the industry that is regulated by the government. Wife has been tested twice that I know of. Last year the most recent when in to go see the OB/GYN. But I don't know exactly what they test for as it was not an issue. Seven years ago when she immigrated to the US she was tested for INS but also don't know exactly what they test for.

 

In the UK, there is no laws about it. It's the producers who regulate it as a requirement for the people they employ. A porn star will not have sex with another performer unless they know they are clean, which is what the STD certificates are for - they must present that certificate to the producer and must be no less than one month old.

[weplay 20]

I'll take a slight different tack here. Look through this forum for the several discussions on HPV. High risk HPV may be the blame for most cervical cancers. And HPV is so popular that women are generally checked for it when they get PAP smears.

 

It isn't the end of the world, but HPV is common and worth considering when you consider sex with others. It is VERY prevalent in the swinger world, apparently.

 

Condoms are a choice and nobody likes them. But using them offers a bit more protection from infections than going bareback. We use condoms except for a chosen few that we feel comfortable going bare with.

[km34 672]

I'll take a slight different tack here. Look through this forum for the several discussions on HPV. High risk HPV may be the blame for most cervical cancers. And HPV is so popular that women are generally checked for it when they get PAP smears.

 

Only when there is an abnormal pap test, not every time.

[Galanga 249]

You're going to "rethink" the lifestyle because of that? If that's all it takes for you to have second thoughts, then maybe it's never been for you in the first place. If only 66% of men in the porn industry have herpes, then they're doing pretty well ... since nearly 100% of the human population carry the HSV virus. And no, she can't get AIDS from rubbing, nor from a brief insertion. Herpes is transferred by skin contact, so yes, she can get herpes. But not from the pre-cum. As for bareback ... that's the best sex ever. Condoms remove the texture and subtleties of the penis, and I find it to be like fucking a cardboard dick with a condom. Bottom line, if you're worried about germs, swinging is not for you. I've been taking it front and back door bareback for 40 years and I never caught anything (I did get Herpes when I was 15, but I got one single outbreak and it never came back).

[ransa 16]

You're going to "rethink" the lifestyle because of that? If that's all it takes for you to have second thoughts, then maybe it's never been for you in the first place. If only 66% of men in the porn industry have herpes, then they're doing pretty well ... since nearly 100% of the human population carry the HSV virus. And no, she can't get AIDS from rubbing, nor from a brief insertion. Herpes is transferred by skin contact, so yes, she can get herpes. But not from the pre-cum. As for bareback ... that's the best sex ever. Condoms remove the texture and subtleties of the penis, and I find it to be like fucking a cardboard dick with a condom. Bottom line, if you're worried about germs, swinging' i not for you. I've been taking it front and back door bareback for 40 years and I never caught anything (I did get Herpes when I was 15, but I got one single outbreak and it never came back).

 

Yes condoms suck, no argument there.

 

I realize most people have the HPV virus, we have both had "cold sores" at one time. But not down there. AND I realize if the condom does not go all the way down that exposed skin can transfer it. But the point is dude did not ask before doing, he just did it. We are not at the bareback point yet. Wifey still needs to get her self to the doc and get on some sort of BC. We have moved on from that night and he came over last night with plenty of raincoats LOL. Dude's a good guy, close and reliable and other than that time has been respectful of our limited "rules", rain coats and no back door for wifey. Other than that he has his way with her and she is nice and tired today LOL.......and a little sore!!!!!! in a good way. Dude is thick LOL.

[Hippiegirlie 276]

"From what I have read herpes, syphilis etc are all treatable."

There is a significant difference between Syphilis and Herpes. Syphilis is a bacterial infection that is treatable and curable. Herpes is a viral infection of which there is no cure. It is treatable with medication which will temporarily stop the active disease, but once you have it, you have it for life (or until a cure is produced.)

[SwingerGirl 132]

You're going to "rethink" the lifestyle because of that? If that's all it takes for you to have second thoughts, then maybe it's never been for you in the first place. If only 66% of men in the porn industry have herpes, then they're doing pretty well ... since nearly 100% of the human population carry the HSV virus. And no, she can't get AIDS from rubbing, nor from a brief insertion. Herpes is transferred by skin contact, so yes, she can get herpes. But not from the pre-cum. As for bareback ... that's the best sex ever. Condoms remove the texture and subtleties of the penis, and I find it to be like fucking a cardboard dick with a condom. Bottom line, if you're worried about germs, swinging is not for you. I've been taking it front and back door bareback for 40 years and I never caught anything (I did get Herpes when I was 15, but I got one single outbreak and it never came back).

 

This comment bothers me, and I would like to know more. You did get herpes when you were 15? Well you do realize that you still have herpes, right? That is a far cry from "I never caught anything". As for not having an outbreak, you don't have to have an outbreak to pass it to someone else. I know condoms are not the end all, be all especially when talking about herpes, but your casual attitude makes me wonder if you even care if you pass it to someone else. "If you are worried about germs, swinging i not for you", I'm sorry, but I have to greatly disagree. I understand the risk I am taking by having multiple sex partners. I understand the risk I am taking by having protection free oral sex. I also understood the risk I was taking by having a lover (before I got into the LS) that couldn't keep his dick in his pants and cheated every chance he got. However, that does not mean that I am not concerned about my own health, the health of others, and yes, other people's germs. It is the attitude (which unfortunately is not uniquely yours) similar to the one expressed in your post that I am most concerned about. Just because we engage in "high risk behavior" doesn't mean that we shouldn't be able to count on other intelligent adults to be responsible in their actions and in full disclosure of any known STD's. This doesn't mean that I don't take responsibility for what I do. I try to protect myself in the ways that I see fit and the ways that my partners are comfortable. I balance my risk with the rewards.

[SwingerGirl 132]

To the OP, I find that this situation happens more often than I would like. As a single female, I find that I have to be especially careful of someone breaking a "rule" just to see if they can get away with it, because I don't have a man to stand up for me and tell my partners "That wasn't cool." I have had a few experiences (in and out of the LS) where the guy has "slipped". I have also had numerous guys (couples and singles) attempt to talk me into sex without a condom by saying things like "I'm fixed.... I get tested every 6 weeks (who gets tested every 6 weeks?? really??)" etc etc. I believe that a lot of it has to do with testing the waters, although I have never had someone come out right and confirm that. But I believe that some guys just want to see if they can get away with it without anyone saying anything. They want to see how flexible the rule is, in other words.

 

I have to admit, I'm guilty of reinforcing this behavior. There have been times when I have been so turned on and into the groove that I have just let a guy ride bareback. I also don't automatically stop seeing someone if they "slip". I will tell them to go put a condom on, finish up, and have the discussion afterwards and let them know if it happens again we will not be playing anymore. This is not a birth control topic, but I will go ahead and throw it out there that I also insist on condoms, because I can not take any birth control. I will be so happy when I get my tubes tied!!! Also, I agree with what has been said about condoms really sucking! "sex feels better with a condom"-said no one...ever!!! lol at least as far as I know!

[Landyn 15]

Herpes comes when you rubbing your skin with any infected person.So you must use condom to stop direct rubbing of your body.So in this way you can easily avoid theses disease.But the all person are not infected from herpes but the precaution is best.

[Cheetah 84]

We started out swinging with the guys wearing condoms, but we were with the same couple a few times and I dislike condoms so at one point I put my throbbing cock in the wet pussy of the other woman and went at it. She came hard many times and I pulled out and came all over her pussy. My wife then came over and licked my cum from her pussy.

 

Weeks later I found out the guy had been fucking my wife bareback the same night.

 

She said he put it in and said he did. It did have a condom on, but she was horny and hates condoms as well so she let him fuck her to many orgasms bareback.

 

When she told me this later I got so turned on I came inside her soaked pussy then ate her.

 

I love it when she has a soaked pussy.