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Being new to swinging I was wondering, on average, how often anal play is requested? And if you aren't into it if that will lead to many rejections?

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In my experience, it's quite rare, although not unheard of and I've certainly seen it at clubs. The only person who ever requested it (out of hundreds) was fine with my refusal.

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It has never come up as a request from any of our swinging partners. It's been discussed over drinks while getting to know each others comfort levels, but it was more of a case of "we aren't into anal, is that something you look for?" type of scenario. Once swinging couple indicated the womans interest in having a DP, but that was never turned around into whether Mrs S would be interested.

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In the past two years of swinging once or twice a month, I can think of two times the subject of anal sex has come up. Once, a man requesting it from my wife but having no objection when she refused. The second time, a woman informing me, without prompting (she was very clear about expressing all her limits up front), that she would decide on the subject of anal after she saw me with my pants down. Otherwise, it really doesn't come up as much as pornos suggest.

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Our experience has been similar. It very rarely comes up. We have only been asked once and the other couple was absolutely fine with our refusal (the wife of the other couple said she actually wasn't that into it either so was lad we were not)

 

We go to clubs only occasionally (every couple months) and I have not seen anyone doing anal. I know it is there, but it certainly seems to be the exception.

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We've been swinging 3 years. It's rarely come up. Refusing is actually probably standard. I will only do it with someone who I trust and after I've played a bit to judge their style. My husband has had two girls request it.

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Mrs. Sunbuckus here...during our short time so far in the LS, maybe about 1/4 of my playmates have asked about anal. I find that I have to trust the playmate to a greater degree to allow anal play and only one has attained that during MFM for double penetration. The majority of the time, anal is not asked and if it is, I politely decline and we just continue play/chat. Most people are accepting of rules, boundaries, and limits.

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The only time it has come up was with one our first experiences. The other lady had a DP fantasy, she brought it up, and we all did talk about maybe trying to make that happen. All involved were new to swinging though, so even just your run of the mill full swap didn't quite come off as well as hoped, so never even got close to trying for the DP thing.

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J loves a DP. She enjoys having 2 in her box or one in each hole. Usually anal is only required if our playmate is too large to get us both in her vagina. Since we assume anal may be involved, we'll prepare for it with an enema. It helps her be more comfortable. The guys we meet are bi so there is usually a request for me to do them. Seems having a dick in your butt while fucking a wet pussy is a great adventure. I probably will never know since anal for me is way down the list of things I want to have done. It hasn't come up in conversation during the "getting to know you" time. We are always asked what our boundaries are but so far our only rule is we dont play alone.

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Since neither of us pursue it, we really aren't aware of too many people that are into it as a part of their swinging activities. I can't think of a time that Mrs two4you has ever been asked for it.

 

And if you aren't into it if that will lead to many rejections?

I'd be very surprised if you experienced rejection due to not being into it.

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Agree with most here, not very often and if and when it does, no one has ever been offended to date about a refusal.

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It requires a lot of preparation (for me at least) and frankly, I'd just prefer not to deal with it. It comes up about 50% of the time for us, but is usually just a feeler to see how you react.

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I usually throw it out there as one of the things we're not into. Then people know and if it's a deal breaker for them, they can move on. So far it has never cost us a playmate (that we know of) or an uncomfortable moment.

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Usually things just "go with the flow". I/we think it's kind of odd to ask permission first. If it's something we don't like we'll let you know. My wife never liked anal and it was something she wouldn't let me do. We had a playmate that just slid it into her. She liked it and after that she let me have anal with her but I am still jealous to this day that it took another guy to get her to like anal. It was one of those "go with the flow" moments.

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About as common as in real life. As far as saying no leading to rejections, I doubt it would happen. However, some guys do get really hung up on it and you may have to listen to them whine and ask for it over and over again.

 

I've never had a guy try to do anal on me without asking first. If I did, he'd be out of there.

 

That said, if you aren't into it, make it clear. When you post an ad, or if you are discussing your boundaries in person just make a point of mentioning that you aren't into anal.

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Usually things just "go with the flow". I/we think it's kind of odd to ask permission first. If it's something we don't like we'll let you know. My wife never liked anal and it was something she wouldn't let me do. We had a playmate that just slid it into her. She liked it and after that she let me have anal with her but I am still jealous to this day that it took another guy to get her to like anal. It was one of those "go with the flow" moments.

 

Really? In your experience guys just fuck women in the ass without asking first? Or did I read that wrong?

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Really? In your experience guys just fuck women in the ass without asking first? Or did I read that wrong?

 

In my one experience with swinging anal the guy did not ask verbally, but there was plenty of foreplay leading in that direction. I could have easily brushed his hand away and said, "no anal" It was no surprise, and I was comfortable with it. He was very skilled in relaxing me. Actually, it was quite interesting, because he was touching my back in a particular way that really pushed my buttons. It was a really great experience. So I would say it was "go with the flow" and that worked fine.

 

We almost always go over basic rules before we start playing, depending on the person, I'll often say no anal the first time we play.

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Usually things just "go with the flow". I/we think it's kind of odd to ask permission first. If it's something we don't like we'll let you know. My wife never liked anal and it was something she wouldn't let me do. We had a playmate that just slid it into her. She liked it and after that she let me have anal with her but I am still jealous to this day that it took another guy to get her to like anal. It was one of those "go with the flow" moments.

 

That would be the end of play for that night and we probably would never see that person again.... It's just too easy to ask.

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I have tried anal three times, and I enjoyed it only twice. Thosew two times were with a sexy woman who loved everything, oral, vaginal, and anal. She begged me to cum inside her butt, but since I was so new to it, I never did. I think it is up to the two people involved if they want to enjoy this yet very special way of being united. If it doesn't hurt someone physically, emotionally, or mentally, I see nothing wrong with doing it. Bob

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Guest newplaytoys

how many post are there on this , well anyway , i enjoy anal , it is a big part of my sexuall play . i can orgasm this way and they can be very intense this . way . have to have a man that knows what he is doing . no rough stuff here,

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Mrs loves anal as do I, but we have never done it with play partners. Never really asked for it either so who knows? She really wants to try a DP at some time in the future. :rollseye:

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Really? In your experience guys just fuck women in the ass without asking first? Or did I read that wrong?

 

That would be the end of play for that night and we probably would never see that person again.... It's just too easy to ask.

 

My wife is in bed with me and another man being caressed and probed by fingers and penises. She is experiencing sensations she has never felt before. She is loving being made love to by two men at the same time. The playmate I was referring to in my original post slid into her because she was well lubricated from me going first. What he thought was her pussy was her ass. It was kind of by accident but she was having such an erotic experience that she didn't stop him. I was trying to be brief. I can only imagine if he would have woke her out her dreamy state and said something like "Excuse me. Do you mind if I fuck your ass?" If she didn't want him to she wouldn't have let him. Nobody was getting raped or forced to do anything. I think there may be a difference between people who end up in threesomes, (or moresomes), sharing or swapping by chance or circumstance than an encounter that might have been arranged in advance.

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Guest screaminggood

Another point that affects the lack of anal for us is that some clubs disallow it for "health reasons." So it's only a possibility at house parties....

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With my husband at the beginning of our relationship we tried it and we decided we don't like it, and we have never tried again.

 

In the lifestyle: a jut few of my play-partners have requested anal sex specially during doggy-position, (I think gents get over estimulated in that position )

I nicely reject them and they forget about it.

 

The only time I did it with a play-partner was with one of our closest friends they enjoy anal sex and time to time they include it as part of their normal intercourse.

One night after talking about and joking about it we let them coached us to it, hubby with her and me with him. He put a condom on and we used plenty of lubricant, few seconds later we managed to accomplish a full penetration, but after a couple of minutes we decided to stop because the outcome was so poor for both of us, so he removed the condom an then we resumed normal sex, in the other hand hubby and her did complete task and enjoyed the process.

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We probably do MFM half the time and swaps the other half and it hasn’t come up. Hubby and I do it, not infrequently and so I am into it and in the MFM arena would welcome it as possibly leading to DP, something that I fantasize about and which we have done with hubby and a dildo. So, I guess what I am saying is that even in a receptive environment, it hasn’t come up, or in.

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I do not think it has ever came up for the wife and me. I have been requested to be a Top for another guy, but I must admit, I have no desire for that, so I don't see it happening.

 

My wife has a great ass though so I am surprised it is not requested more often? I know guys like to squeeze, rub it, spank it, and lick it. It is pretty hard to believe they do not want to fuck it.

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We still consider us relatively new but have met a number of couples that are newer to this than us. The second couple we met did anal to me. Being new to swinging and having been having this type of sex at home, something me and my husband do for a few reasons, I "allowed" him to do it. What got me annoyed is that it became an every time thing with him and I know he didn't do it with his wife. Other than him it is not something someone will push you to do. Asked but not pushed.

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For us online it is requested quite often even though we are clear on our profile that it is not going to happen! It is like some people think just because Ms Enhancer has a big round sexy ass she should want a cock in it. If it has lost us some interest from these people we could not care less. She has a perfectly healthy, clean wet pussy for that and if it won't do then people can go fuck themselves.

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For me I only screwed one woman in the ass and she definitely loved getting her ass fucked. She liked getting fucked in the ass during her period because it helps with cramps. She also loved humping my own ass rubbing her pubic bone against my tailbone giving her lots of pleasure. It was kind of kinky yet it was a turn on and I was sure if she had a strap on she would’ve fucked me. I don’t think I took advantage of her because she enjoyed getting fucked in the ass especially since I didn’t have a huge cock. I did find in my life of sexual exploits that in the times of liberated women they preferred fucking my ass rather than getting fucked in the ass. Women started enjoying things that were rather more kinky but sensual! The power play between men and women have changes and women actually respect that men freely bend over them and allow them to fuck their ass.

 

The women I have had sex with never turned down having their ass licked. I was raised to have straight sex but I did perform cunnilingus and enjoyed fellatio. When I was 30 I had a lady friend teach me the art of analingus. She pinned me down on the bed and started to 69 with me sucking my cock and letting me tongue fuck her pussy. This was not the first time we had sex and definitely wasn’t the first time she had shown me with her finger what it felt like to get my prostate fingered while she jacked me off. When we were together nothing seemed taboo with her and she always pulled something sexual out of her hat to try on me. We had 69’d before but usually I was on top so she could rest. This time was different and I knew she had another rabbit to show me. After licking me hard she started licking her way down my shaft to my balls. I was busy tongue fucking her pussy so I followed suit and began licking my way out of her vagina down towards her lower pussy. Both of us were getting quite excited especially when she started licking my balls. I continue licking her labia lips since She didn’t have any balls wondering what she was going to do next. Soon both of us were licking our way to each other‘s anus. She had eaten my ass before so I definitely knew what was next. I had never licked someones ass before and I knew there was no backing down now since she was willing to treat me to so much pleasure. Following her lead I felt her tongue begin to flick my anus and I started doing the same to her. Around and around our tongues lapped salivating lube energizing sensitive nerve endings enticing us to go deeper. Both of us had long tongues and without thinking how nasty we were we slid our tongues as deep as we could go. Soon both of us were tongue fucking each other in the ass enjoying an analingus 69. It was as if I was tongue fucking her pussy only something tighter and smaller. By the way she was licking me I knew she had a lot of experience but I kept opening my mouth even wider so I could push my tongue even deeper into her ass. Both of us were moaning and licking at the same time and my cock even though it wasn’t being stimulated was rock hard. It was as if we were in a sexual rutting experience throwing our cares behind and just give each other this wild and kinky pleasure I’ve never experienced before. Suddenly my girlfriend started coming and I started spewing semen all over my belly and chest coming as well. We disconnected and laid in each other‘s arms wondering if we should kiss or not finally realizing where our mouths had just been.

 

After my analingus 101 class whenever I got a girl in bed after I ate their pussy I would flip them over and eat their ass. I performed analingus on some of the most sexually experienced women and they all had an orgasm. Even my massage therapist who doesn’t believe in cunnilingus allowed me to eat her ass to orgasm. I actually believe that eating a woman’s ass is out of respect for her sexuality and I refuse to fuck their ass preferring to eat ass instead.

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I have a slightly different perspective from being in a poly family, two guys and three women, who are joined by another guy sometimes to play. This is about how often within our closed group, not with new partners. All three girls will take anal from two of the guys; hubby doesn't like it and his dick's too big around (for my bum anyway). We women do anal about once per week and DP about once per month. Lora and Clair enjoy and can come from anal alone; I can't, it has to be part of DP to get me off. The other thing is that although none of us are shy and will lick a dick or each other's pussy after sex, once a guy puts his dick in anyone's ass, playtime ends when he's done. So it is inherently self-limiting.

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I really needed to see this thread. Thank you. My husband is interested in the whole swinging and threesomes stuff, I have no experience with it. One of my biggest concerns has been guys wanting to force the issue of anal or if it was like an assumed automatic thing when in a MMF three some. I have only recently started being okay-ish with anal and really that's only with my husband. Idk how I would feel about any other guy.

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It is NOT an assumption and nobody will usually 'force' them self on you without asking permission first. Even straight sex is not assumed without asking permission. Swingers are among the nicest, politest people you will ever meet.

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GoldCoCouple is totally correct. Anal is not a given, nor is anything else for that matter, but anal is extra high on that list because 1) some just don't like it doesn't matter who is involved, 2) and some of those that do like it prefer not to make that part of their swinging repertoire because of the level of trust involved, keeping it something "special", etc. I'm sure there are some women that like it and do make it part of their swinging but that is always 100% their choice to make and no one will assume anything on that subject other than if she is interested in that she will let you know.

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It's not really my thing so I never inquire about it. The Mrs has had it requested before and in one case she said no but in another she has said yes. It wasn't a big deal when the guy heard no, he just continued with what he was already doing.

 

I recently was with a wife who when I went to a play area with her and the husband he told me straight up she liked it and during play she started begging for it to which I obliged.

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I hate to admit it but I have been fucked in the ass behind closed doors but the guys were so excited they came right away so it wasn’t a very good experience. I was 100% clear to my husband when we married that I would not allow him to fuck my ass and being his dominant I actually made him bend over for me and I fucked his ass with a strap on dildo. To my surprise he actually enjoyed it so taking him to bed and giving it to him became another kinky sex that I can tell my girlfriends about. I have talked to him about doing a three-way with another guy wondering if he would be willing to not only suck cock but take it in the ass since he enjoys strap on sex so much. He told me that if we did it behind closed doors and the guy was safe if he would be more than willing to do whatever I asked. I’m giving him cocksucking lessons with my 8 inch dildo and have taught him how to deep throat the entire thing without gagging. I told him I’m looking for a hung stud so that I could make his first time more than memorable. My problem is I’m actually leaning towards lesbianism and I found a girlfriend and considering leaving him ASAP.

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I hate to admit it but I have been fucked in the ass behind closed doors...

 

 

My problem is I’m actually leaning towards lesbianism and I found a girlfriend and considering leaving him ASAP.

 

Why hate to admit it, if it was ok at the time?

 

If you're still good with him, why leave? Why not have both? Most men, even vanilla men, don't care if their woman has a girl on the side.

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We quite enjoy anal on occasions, but I don't think I'd be happy with anyone else. Saying that and having read the previous posts.......dp....I guess theres something to consider?

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To date we've done MFM exclusively and it has never come up. Babe loves anal, but says she only wants to do it with me because, in her words, "it requires me to surrender and I only bottom to you." Nevertheless, she does fantasize about DP, and if I were there and she were really super-comfortable with the other man she might be more receptive. I don't bring it up, however. If she decides she wants to do anal with another man it will happen in her time, not mine.

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One of her rules is that her ass is mine. She will share any other part of her but wants that reserved for something that only the two of us do. BTW, that still means that DP is on the table (we haven't had the opportunity yet but some day)...

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One of her rules is that her ass is mine. She will share any other part of her but wants that reserved for something that only the two of us do.

 

To each their own, but it's odd to me that anyone considers putting a penis in the ass more intimate than the pussy or even mouth.

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I knew that my lover J was planning on leaving me for her lesbo lover. But she had a surprise for me bringing in her bi friend at work. We had met st a work party an He was interested in me and exchanged numbers. I think J shared with him my strapon fetish.

J invited him for a private bed party. Behind closed doors things happen. J got me hot and pushed me over the end of the bed and pinned me down sitting on my back. I felt her buddy slide his big cock in my ass giving me a nice slow screw. It was a hot screw that made me come in the condom as he kept screwing.

What a surprise!

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I thought anal was a big thing at clubs when we first went. There was a woman there who offered her ass up to anyone for free play (no consent - just go up and fuck her) in the orgy room. When anyone approached, she made sure to tell them to wear a condom and ONLY go in for anal.

 

I'm guessing this was a one time thing with a particular woman because it's the only time I've ever seen it anywhere!

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Usually things just "go with the flow". I/we think it's kind of odd to ask permission first. If it's something we don't like we'll let you know. My wife never liked anal and it was something she wouldn't let me do. We had a playmate that just slid it into her. She liked it and after that she let me have anal with her but I am still jealous to this day that it took another guy to get her to like anal. It was one of those "go with the flow" moments.

 

This happened last night with a single guy. We were chatting about anal, and my wife and I said we weren't into it. She has never done it before. Next thing you know they're going at it and he asked her if it was ok...she said yes. She didn't enjoy it very much and asked him to stop after a bit, which he politely did.

I'm starting to think I'm the only guy who has zero interest in putting it there...

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I like it but it hurts. Very much.

 

If it hurts that much, you're doing it wrong. I don't remember where I saw it, but there was a great "Guide to Anal Sex" article somewhere on the net. Basically, it was a point-by-point guide on how to do it comfortably.

 

The first rule (that everyone seems to forget) is to evacuate your bowels! Have a number 2, use an enema, whatever. Just make sure you're "empty" back there. You don't want to be pushing all of that backwards through your plumbing.

 

Second was anal play. Don't just go jamming a penis back there. Start with analingus if your partner is into it. A tongue on the anus is not only unbelievably pleasurable, it will help you relax.

 

Next, use a lot of lube and a finger. Don't clench. Relax. Move up to two fingers. Then maybe a small vibe. Basically, slowly work your way up to something penis sized.

 

This takes awhile, so plan for a nice long butt-play session.

 

In the end, straddle him and slowly work your way down his penis. This way, you can control the speed of penetration. If you need to ease up, you lift yourself. If it's working well for you, then slide on down. If you just bend over and let him go at it, he'll probably get over-eager with anticipation and might go a little faster than you'd like. By straddling him, you get to work at your own pace.

 

That's really about it. Good luck! If you try it again and you use these steps, please come back and let me know how it went for you!

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I think anal is one of those things that tends to come up with people you're very familiar with rather than strangers or people you recently met. I've been asked for anal by about 10% of strangers, so not often. But it's come up with more than half my friends. I like anal and DP so I don't refuse if I am asked.

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This is an interesting thread. My wife loves being fucked in the ass, as do I. (I'm submissive bi, but only for physical sexual activity - oral, anal, etc, not "romantically" attracted to other men - just part of my overall submissive nature when it comes to kinky things.) We have not progressed to swinging yet, but are getting close. We are nudist though. Frankly I would be fine with just watching her with other men and that is how I think we will finally get into the lifestyle to start with.

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I think guys want anal more than women because they think a woman’s anus is a lot tighter and they get a better fuck. Truthfully if one trains her vaginal muscles to squeeze down they can tighten up so tight they can castrate a guy's cock. If a guy feels your pussy squeezing his cock he’s never going to want to fuck your ass ever again. There’s techniques where you can swallow a guy's cock with your pussy and squeeze him until he comes and you never have to move.

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      But I'm not done with Cindy yet, and lay on her missionary, spreading her legs wide and fucking her well used, stretched pussy like mad. I fall out a couple times and then decide to put my slippery hard cock into her ass, butt fucking her missionary. I think this was a first for her, since she calls Dave in to check it out. He watches and nods then leaves the bedroom to sit on the couch outside and listen.
       
      I give it to her for another 30 minutes easily, fucking her ass and rubbing her clit. She cums again and again but my cock gets desensitized due to the rubber and I can''t cum. As she is getting wore out, she asks me what she can do to get me off? I tell her that I don't think I can cum from fucking or sucking, come sit on my face and I'll jerk myself off. She looks at me devilishly and climbs right on top, lowering her big cunt right on my face, holds my head with both hands, and slides back and forth, giving me an opportunity to lick her ass. After two minutes of this I feel my cum boiling in my nuts and explode a huge load on my stomach. She smiles, licks some up and then snowballs me! Another first.
       
      I lay there not believing what happened as they get dressed and pack up. I email her after to check if Dave was OK with all of this and she says sure. I never hear from them again.
    • By dccc4fun
      So we are new to swinging for the most part. We've had some experiences in private with other males and females.
       
      We are very interested in going to a swingers club but also nervous at the same time. My husband is worried about boundaries being respected and possibly pushy men. We are a secure couple so that's not the issue, we just don't want to deal with that type of behavior.
       
      Is this a problem we might run into?
    • By Interestme82
      Hi out there. I’m married and in an evolving relationship. Last year I did a burlesque photo shoot for him as a gift. He loved the way it turned out but asked if I’d be willing to do something more risqué in the future. I got a reference from the original photographer (female) and told my husband the new photographer would be a male. Being the protective husband he is we both requested a meeting over a cup of coffee. We met which was great and made things all the more comfortable. I loved what I saw from his book and my husband did as well. 
       
      We had the shoot and the pictures came out great. He got really turned on by knowing another guy was doing the pictures. I was shocked. I asked him if he’d consider doing a couples shoot with me and he said he’d try but was reluctant. Pretty soon after he agreed and we were off again.
       
      Prior to the shoot my husband and the photographer talked about his career. My husband, who’s faithful, shocked me a bit with his envy and open talk about what the photographer experienced. I’m extremely open and joined in the conversation. Both of us felt like we were conversing with someone we really liked and knew a lot longer than we actually did. Unfortunately my husband had difficulties getting hard which is completely out of the ordinary. The photographer said it happened a lot and just to relax. 
       
      Surprisingly at my husband's request he asked for me to do a POV shoot the photographer showed us in his book. Basically it’s the photographer including himself in various ways while taking the pictures. As we started taking the pictures I liked being touched by the photographer even though it wasn’t active foreplay or sex. It really was strictly for the pictures themselves. During the pictures my husband quickly got hard and watched. Eventually the photographer asked him if he was going to get involved. The rest of the shoot went as we planned. Afterwards we all sat around and talked and went through the pictures.
       
      Some time passed again and we talked a lot about the fun we had with it. My husband admitted he liked watching the photographer touch me and if not for that he may have been to nervous to get hard. 

      I really want this to develop further but I’m apprehensive because it’s a major change in life obviously. I’m also not sure about how I feel about seeing him with someone else. When I say I’m not sure I mean most likely not. I don’t even really think he wants to. I almost feel like if I bring that up it will be too much too fast. Multiple times when having sex we’ve dirty talked about me doing another shoot and giving myself up. I’d feel more comfortable to actually do it than talk about it. 
       
      I feel like my husband has opened a door that I want to walk into. Am I reading it wrong? Is it best for me to just set something else up and let it work itself the way it will? Based on our interactions I have no doubt the photographer would be into it also. Would I be going to far given our relationship if I reached out to the him and told him how I feel, how my husband feels, and confirm he’d say yes? 
       
       
    • By KatrinaandDriverX
      For me, it's not about having sex or sex acts or multiple partners. It is about 'feeding' different aspects of my personality, occasionally, in diverse ways with sex. It transcends role playing, it's a sexual moment as I'm giving, yielding, engaging and driving my partner(s) into an exquisite moment. To build them up, for the men to enter me in a pure moment that thrills or kissing a woman with tongues plunging deeply. I love it when someone I may have just met can surrender to me and I to them. Then, once we're done that it's perfectly alright to go to the next partner and, who knows, have that same person again later that night (or not). Or, if it's simply to play with another couple, have the sex with the husband be so great that the wife thanks me. Then, of course, there's the knowledge of my husband having another girl, whether it be a wife  or innocent bystander, knowing she just might be asking herself if watching me fuck means my husband must be amazing (he is). 
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