Swinging wife's theory on female bisexuality

[sweetgirlknows 121]

Hi everyone,

 

I have a theory for the ladies. Sooo my husband and I did our first full bi-swap. It was VERY erotic and hot. I realized something interesting though about women and bisexuality. My experience with the other wife was great! Often times I hear women say "women know women better." I have to say being with a woman as a woman did feel different but not in a physical way. I thought a lot about it and here is what I think.

 

Girls are very mean to each other. I know why ladies but seriously I think we really hurt each others self-esteem a lot. I think this is why female bisexuality is so common. We want to be respected and feel support from other women.

 

When I was with the other wife I felt like every cruel thing others girls had done to me was expunged. All I could do was give my body over to this woman for the appreciation it deserved. It was a rush of emotion (not the attached kind). When I was younger I was always criticized by other girls for mild acne, big feet, and my style. Although I've cut a lot of those people out of my life I feel I am still scarred by that.

 

When the other wife and I played with each other it was just amazing to accepted by her in a sexually powerful way. I do of coarse prefer men way more but I feel this woman filled in something that had been missing.

 

Even though this woman was an experienced bi-wife she didn't make me cum any harder than any guy I've been with. My husband of coarse takes the prize though!

 

What do you all think?

[Hippiegirlie 276]

I say YAY to your positive experience! I'm so happy that it was good, I know you were eager to find out. I do think women sharing sexually cleanses some of the animosity between us. It helps break down the emotional scars that were all too often self-inflicted by feelings of inadequacy when comparing ourselves to the "other girls." We learn to share in a way that is on a more equal level and bond in a way that we couldn't before. I have to admit though, that as much as I love my sexual appetite for women, I tend to leave when the pettiness comes back out. At that point, I'd rather be sitting on the couch watching football with the guys.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I also applaud your experience and think it's an interesting theory, although I don't think it's universal. I experienced a little pettiness in middle school, but generally have felt cherished by girls and women throughout my life. I've certainly never felt healed in any way by sex with women.

[ViSexual 1,008]

You know, it's the same with bi men. After you both know that you're both bi you seem to both relax more around each other and not try to compete so much. I've shared vanilla feelings more with men I've had sex with than vanilla friends. It's just something, in common, that allows you to be more open about everything.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

sweetgirl, I think it's wonderful that you had such a positive bi-experience. I'm sorry you were criticized by other girls when you were younger though. Yes, women can be harsh on other women but I also think takes a certain brand of person (female and male) to go up to someone and demean them to their face. For me, I view women as being much more softer, sensual, and in tune to what feels good to a woman...because that is how they would like to be touched. Sometimes, I find myself being more "massage-y" with women than men--lightly stroking the upper and underside of their breasts, running my hands up and down their arms, gently feeling their hair, etc. Whereas a man, sometimes I get right to the point and touch their arousal.

 

As for women bisexuality, I don't know think it's more "common" because women want to be more supported and respected by other women. Sure, the support and openness in the women swinger community can help to further establish a woman's bisexuality but in the end, I think women are more open to being attracted to other women because of the support that they have from other women and other men (not to mention just being attracted to the same gender). If there was a big stigma about being with another women, it might not be...like it is for bisexual males. It seems that a majority of women and men are not as supportive and so bisexual men might not be so open about their preference or men might not be as comfortable exploring those options because of how the swinger community might view them.

[sweetgirlknows 121]

Thanks for the opinions everyone! Maybe I was a little dramatic in my first post. I mean I was criticized when I was younger but I witnessed it more than I was a victim of it. It wasn't that bad but certainly an issue.

 

@Hippie: Glad to know we're on the same page more or less. Can't wait to tell you all about it!

 

@maui: I think it is an environment thing and often a sub-conscious reaction. I honestly didn't even think about it until afterwards. I certainly did not walk in feeling bad about how I had been treated many years ago lol.

 

@sun: Men can be massage-y and soft too if you give them a chance. My husband massages me way more than we have sex. It soooooo relaxing and he use strong hands or soft hands depending on what I want. He has a powerful technique to make me come by tending to my breasts alone! I do agree though that the acceptance factor lowers the barrier to a woman trying bisexual sex. It does suck for bi-guys though (no pun intended). That is why my husband and I have reserved ourselves to bi-clubs only. The way I see it is if we can't all be open and comfortable then it's kind of a turn-off for me. The bi-clubs are really nice and so are the people!!

[Texascurious 15]

Very interesting! I have not been with another woman (yet) so I am very curious about what it will be like if it happens. I'm lucky to be in a very supportive group of woman friends right now, but I certainly have experienced that meanness in the past. In my mind I imagine sex with a woman to be softer and more emphasis on foreplay. I am guessing some of it depends on the woman though!

[buffalo3300 16]

I read an interesting article in the Journal of Human Sexuality. (Forgive me I'm a scientist by trade and my first reaction to a topic is always research.) The author did a research study on swingers. Bi-sexual women are overrepresented in the lifestyle by some ridiculous percent compared to the general population. He suggested because bi-sexual women found the swinging community a safe place to express their bisexuality especially when they are in stable hetero relationships. In other words there's more bi women in swinging because they can be bi without shocking the PTA.

[Bob and I 21]

I read an interesting article in the Journal of Human Sexuality. . . there's more bi women in swinging because they can be bi without shocking the PTA.

 

That makes so much sense to me. Carol (the conventional, legal wife of my other husband Tom) is bi (and wishes she could be bi with me) and she and Tom have a history in the swinging world, while Bob (my conventional husband) and I have never touched the swinging world. So there's one more data point confirming the study.

 

Would love to have you point us all to the study.