Gang bang limitations

[njbm 2,865]

My wife and I have been invited to a gangbang party with approximately 30 men and 5 women. While we have flirted with the lifestyle, our experience is very limited. My wife is concerned that she will be overwhelmed with that many men. I am of the school that several men will be unable to perform and many will come very early and may not be able to reload effectively. I am sure some will use ED meds and hang in, but I think between oral, manual and other outlets, it may not be too difficult and may even be enjoyable. Thoughts from those who have been there?

[BiloxiCouple 695]

Consider no shows also.

 

She can stop anytime she wants and you too.

[angelkin 1,326]

We have not been in many of these situations, but my thought is that any man who regularly attends this party probably has a great deal of control over his orgasm and his erection. However, the ladies are in charge at these type of events and if she becomes overwhelmed, she can step away, stop any action, limit the number of men participating with her, etc. Perhaps, given your limited experience, this is not the right venue for you?

[funcouple99 35]

Sounds like a blast. But being 1 year in the LS my wife and I would only go if we we're hosting or were really good friends with the hosts AND knew 60%+ of the males.

 

We have NEVER EVER had a "bad' person in the LS. We have been very lucky, so we are told.

 

But at the same time we only go where we know the majority already.

 

If we were in your position we would probably pass...

 

Granted everyone's response is true... just too many unknowns for us.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

My experience with gangbangs is mostly limited to observation, but your wife's concerns are unnecessary so long as you both remember that she's the boss. The moment she needs a break or to stop, that's what should happen. She is not there to service those men, they are there for her pleasure (even if part of her pleasure is to be subservient).

[occ 148]

I have been in a number of gang bangs. It takes a little adjusting to. Your first being with 30 guys, even if there are 5 women will be overwhelming. I started with smaller groups where I felt more in control. I tried a large gang bang party like you are describing and even I was a little uncomfortable. It did become something of a job where there just seemed to be an endless supply of guys that needed servicing. I know you can always say you want to stop but once it all starts saying no just doesn't seem to happen. My suggestion is start smaller. Maybe 3 guys and you with one of the guys being your husband. Then increase the number of guys slowly til you find your sweet spot. Mine is 5 guys.

 

Anyway, do what feels good to you. Just be careful not to overdoit the first time. You might get turned off any gang bangs. I love them but I think that is because I eased into them.

 

Good luck.

[njbm 2,865]

We understand there will also be fluffers. My wife has expressed interest in being a fluffer rather than a bangee. I must confess that it would be a turn-on for me if she were a bangee.

[occ 148]

I've always been the bangee. Never had fluffers at any I have been in. But I have seen it in porn movies. The point is to have fun. If it isn't going to be fun for both of you, don't do it.

[tonyhawk363 15]

Email participants in advance that she can stop anytime. So everyone knows before hand.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

For a first experience this sounds like too much. It's not just jumping in the deep end, I think it would be like jumping in a tidal wave. I'm sure there are other events where you would have an easier time easing into the lifestyle.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

We understand there will also be fluffers. My wife has expressed interest in being a fluffer rather than a bangee. I must confess that it would be a turn-on for me if she were a bangee.

 

I've been a fluffer and that has been a lot of no pressure fun, at least at the club we've attended. I've never been to a GB party, though, so I can't speak to that. I hope your desire to see your wife as a bangee does not interfere with her pleasure if she decides to attend and be a fluffer.

 

For a first experience this sounds like too much. It's not just jumping in the deep end, I think it would be like jumping in a tidal wave. I'm sure there are other events where you would have an easier time easing into the lifestyle.

 

I agree with this, actually, even though I've jumped out of airplanes without a qualm. Are the two of you certain this is how you want to start?

[njbm 2,865]

After our latest talk, my wife feels like we are going from a zero to a ten in our lifestyle participation. She is considering the fluffer role, but has HPV concerns. How do the posters feel on unprotected oral sex?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

We don't use condoms or dental dams for oral sex, but always use condoms for penetration. There are several threads that discuss risks, barriers and concerns in both the active forums and the archives. They represent a fair cross section of opinion amongst swingers.

[njbm 2,865]

We are going to try some more sedate lifestyle choices first (Desire this winter). We 'll work our way up to the gang bang.

[njbm 2,865]

Thank you all for the insightful guidance. Kiddie pool before tidal wave! Hope to swim in The wave next year!

[angelkin 1,326]

Move at your own pace and enjoy the journey!!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

In the few GB's I've participated in usually there is one MAIN female and the others are "fluffers" (keeping/getting the guys hard while the main woman is taking on her max capacity). If this is the case it's better to know what to expect up front. It also may reduce your wife's stress somewhat in knowing that she's not expected to take on 5 or 6 guys at a time. Regardless, of whether she is just a fluffer she still only should take what she feels she can handle.

 

You are correct, there will be guys who won't show up, guys who can't get it up, and guys who get off early and then can't get hard again... oh and the guys who freak out completely when they realize that a GB means they are naked in the same room with other naked guys.

 

Whatever you choose to do establish what you are both comfortable with ahead of time and stick with that. If she needs to stay near her her in order to feel comfortable and to know that no one is going to push past her limits then that's what you do.