Single guy - first swinger club visit?

[wjpc 15]

Hello there,

 

For a very long time now I have wanted to engage in sexual activities with a couple. I do not have a girlfriend to share this experience with at this time and my past girlfriends have not been too enthusiastic about the whole swinging thing. So for now it looks like I'll have to get my feet wet on my own. I have been reading a lot about single men swingers and it seems that the best way to go about it is to go to a swinger club. I live in Montreal and I hear that there are a couple of great ones that allow single men. I would love to give it a try but I'm afraid of being disappointed or being singled out in a crowd full of couples who are only interested in couple/couple play. Has anyone ever gone to a club solo as a single male and had success? If so, how was your experience and what kind of tips could you give me? Thank you for your help in advance!

 

[naughty_kitten 56]

If you're going to a club with the sole intention of getting some play, you're very likely to leave disappointed. Just go with the intention to have fun and meet some new people. As a single guy you're there for the couples not vice versa.

[angelkin 1,326]

Ask the club when you call what night is best for a single guy. I know at our local club, Fridays single men are encouraged to attend without limit...on Saturdays, they do limit the number of single guys that can attend, so it's more of a couples seeking couples night. Do some homework on one of the swinger sites if possible and look at the club's attendee list if there is one. Contacting people ahead of time to express your interest and make a connection can help make your visit more enjoyable.

 

I agree with Naughty Kitten's sentiment about not going with the expectation of playing, just enjoy the atmosphere, be friendly and respectful, and meet some people. Good single guys are in short supply, so if you dress nice and are friendly, that will go a long way. One bit of advice, if you are interested in a couple, approach them together...not her alone. Nothing pisses my husband off more than me being cornered by the bathroom or while getting a drink with some guy chatting me up.

 

I have to disagree with Naughty's thought that you are there for the couples...they need you to fulfill their desires too You should expect to be treated with respect as well; unfortunately, we've seen couples treat single guys like a piece of meat - don't allow that to happen, that's no fun.

[wjpc 15]

Thank you for your replies and advice!

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Much of the advice above is true for all swingers, including singles, for example going with no expectations other than to have fun. The burden I think single guys especially have to deal with is simply by being a single guy, you are carrying all the baggage of the ones who have gone before you. That doesn't seem to hold true for couples as much. Meet one couple who turn out to be a negative, you don't expect the next one to be the same, the one after that, or the one after that. Single guys, that's not the case. Having a bad experience with one often carries forward. Probably not fair, but that's the way it is and single guys as a whole don't do anything to help themselves with that either since way more than should seem to not have a clue.

 

So, the key is to set yourself apart from the other rude single guy anchors you are having to drag around with you. As others have said, approach couples when they are together, be polite and respectful and you will likely be treated the same in return, always look your best, an invitation to sit down and chat a minute or dance a song doesn't mean she is just panting with desire to have sex with you, etc. I think if I was going to try swinging as a single guy, the first thing I would do is find out what others do that give all of them a bad name, and then make it as clear as possible that I was different than the others.

 

We are almost 100% interested in couples, so don't have a lot of first-hand experience to share with you to illustrate these points, but do have one story that may help. We were at a club one night, and at this particular club, single guys have to stay at the bar unless invited to a table or to dance. There was a single guy the Mrs. kind of liked the look of, so she went up and asked him if he would like to dance. He said yes, and within 30 seconds of hitting the dance floor and 60 seconds of having even made her acquaintance to start with, he had his hand up her skirt trying to get his fingers in her pussy and then acted sort of pissy when she pushed his hand away. They finished the song, no real harm done, so wasn't any big drama on the dance floor or anything, but just goes to show of the type of attitude some single guys have that make it an uphill climb for the good single guys.

 

People swing for fun. The higher potential of not fun you bring with you, the less likely someone is to swing with you.

[Guest screaminggood]

Eye contact and smiles!

 

I love to play with single men, but I do prefer they approach me/us. If you have eye contact and smile, if I like you, I will smile back, and then look back several times. If I do it a couple times, I'm interested so come over and say hello or ask my hubby if he's okay with you asking me to dance. Read the signals just like you would with a single girl.

[angelkin 1,326]

Well? Did you go yet? Let us know how it went:)

[wjpc 15]

No Angelkin I've been extremely busy lately. Will let you know once I do!

[angelkin 1,326]

No Angelkin I've been extremely busy lately. Will let you know once I do!

 

All work and no play....you know what they say When you do, we'd love to hear your thoughts and if you enjoyed it!

[CalendarGirl 148]

Much of the advice above is true for all swingers, including singles, for example going with no expectations other than to have fun. The burden I think single guys especially have to deal with is simply by being a single guy, you are carrying all the baggage of the ones who have gone before you. That doesn't seem to hold true for couples as much. Meet one couple who turn out to be a negative, you don't expect the next one to be the same, the one after that, or the one after that. Single guys, that's not the case. Having a bad experience with one often carries forward. Probably not fair, but that's the way it is and single guys as a whole don't do anything to help themselves with that either since way more than should seem to not have a clue.

 

So, the key is to set yourself apart from the other rude single guy anchors you are having to drag around with you. As others have said, approach couples when they are together, be polite and respectful and you will likely be treated the same in return, always look your best, an invitation to sit down and chat a minute or dance a song doesn't mean she is just panting with desire to have sex with you, etc. I think if I was going to try swinging as a single guy, the first thing I would do is find out what others do that give all of them a bad name, and then make it as clear as possible that I was different than the others.

 

We are almost 100% interested in couples, so don't have a lot of first-hand experience to share with you to illustrate these points, but do have one story that may help. We were at a club one night, and at this particular club, single guys have to stay at the bar unless invited to a table or to dance. There was a single guy the Mrs. kind of liked the look of, so she went up and asked him if he would like to dance. He said yes, and within 30 seconds of hitting the dance floor and 60 seconds of having even made her acquaintance to start with, he had his hand up her skirt trying to get his fingers in her pussy and then acted sort of pissy when she pushed his hand away. They finished the song, no real harm done, so wasn't any big drama on the dance floor or anything, but just goes to show of the type of attitude some single guys have that make it an uphill climb for the good single guys.

 

People swing for fun. The higher potential of not fun you bring with you, the less likely someone is to swing with you.

 

I completely agree with this! And I hate it at the same time. I've NEVER had a couple show up for a meet with me and only 1 single male who stood me up so I'm always astounded at the stigma against single males. I've also blocked single females from contacting me because almost all of the ones that did contact me were so rude and pushy. NO ONE should touch another PERSON without their permission, whether they be male, female, pink, blue or polka dotted! I was at the club Saturday night and asked permission to touch a woman's breast that I knew but hadn't played with before. It's just polite. I also know the creepy single male that was there that night got tossed because he didn't ask first. NO ONE has the right to touch you if you do not give them permission no matter where you are or what you are doing. I think that if us singles just follow the platinum rule, "Treat others the way they wish to be treated" then we'll do fine. It means you need to discover how they want to be treated which takes some effort. But then again the best things in life are those that we put some effort in to.

 

Too bad I didn't see you on here before I spent a few days in Montreal. We could have had some fun!