Nervous about posting pictures.

[Lundy 22]

We are fairly new to the Lifestyle (10 months) and are really struggling over the issue of posting pictures on the two sites we belong to, Kasidie and SLS. Both of us are in Education at large public High Schools in roles that are in contact with a large number of people. We are fearful that becoming outed would cause us considerable stress in our work environment, to the point of being laid off or having to quit. I know this sounds paranoid, but it is real to us. We both feel we are not getting contacts through our profiles because we don't have pictures on the site. I guess I am looking for advice from people who have a similar concern and some help on what we should do about this. We are having the best time of our marriage and the sex has been awesome since starting. We are experiencing exactly what everyone says about how the lifestyle can bring your marriage closer with more communication and openness so stopping is not an option,

[PB&J 1,086]

Post pictures, but crop out your face. We have only body shots, and nothing terribly risque in our public pictures. I don't even reveal a nipple. In our private pics, we have some face pics, but we are VERY selective about who we open those for.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

What PB&J said. There is no reason to avoid all photos, just those that would clearly identify you. We open our face photos only to the few people whose acquaintance we'd like to pursue.

[corynlaine 118]

like everything in life, this experience/adventure is a set of compromises. Before we jumped in, we went through a list of issues both personal/emotional and public friends/family/work finding out and looked at worse case.

 

If you are that worried about it, like for many other reasons, this LS may not be for you. OR you may chose to create a very restrictive profile (which may not get you as many or the kind of people you're looking for) or not post or create a profile on a site like this at all.

 

You can just go to clubs and not do anything on the internet at all. That way if anyone you know sees you, your very first question will be 'really and what were YOU do ing there?' of course there is still the issue of you may have more to lose then they but again you're going to have to do an ROI and make a decision.

 

But one way or another, if you plan to swing, it involves some risk(s) and you're going to have to deal with it.

[shy_couple 459]

Same as above. We post G-rated body shots with faces all or partially obscured. We do have a few PG lingerie pics, still without showing our faces.

We have a few personal and private galleries. I one we have our face pics and a few that show our clothed body types. In the other we do have some nude pics. Our biggest rule on our pics posted online-NEVER SHOW OUR FACE IN A PICTURE WITH NUDITY!! If you have the two together, its tough to deny it is you but if its bits and pieces here and there its much harder to make an accusation stick.

 

We are also professionals, although in a big city, we are in a large world recognized healthcare facility in administration and education. Never been recognized at a party or on a date but it may happen. As a side note, I (he) was stopped a few weeks ago at the pet store by a guy that I did not remember but I had done an exam on his wife. Couldn't imagine it the same situation in a club or 1-on-1 meet.

 

Not sure we totally agree with corynlaine. Yes there is definatly a risk that you will be recogized in these activities. It may be easier to be cautious online and screen heavily before agreeing to meet. The club scene, which we enjoy, leaves nor room for "misunderstanding." If you run into someone you know, then you all have to acknowledge that you are all there and know what its all about.

 

If you go on vacation or have a weekend trip out of town, that may be a good excuse to check out a party that is outside of your immediate area.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Post pictures, but crop out your face. We have only body shots, and nothing terribly risque in our public pictures. I don't even reveal a nipple. In our private pics, we have some face pics, but we are VERY selective about who we open those for.

 

This, and if that still doesn't meet your comfort level, then that just leaves clubs while avoiding the whole online completely.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Now this is opinion but you have three strikes against you in our book. Not only do you not have pictures but you are also free and uncertified. We understand how you feel but unless you have easily identifiable tattoos or features, there is no harm in cropping your photos of bodies for the outside.

 

We live in a very small town and she has a very high profile job that would let her go and not think twice about it. You just have to be cautious and selective. If you do not post pictures, you will have a very difficult time getting emails. Post that you only respond to emails that include a photo so you know if you know them before opening your photos. Keep photos g rated if you are extra paranoid but so risks are worth taking.

 

Good luck!

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

All of the responses make cogent points. If you are doing well making contacts without posting photos, you might consider leaving well enough alone.

 

Our strategy was to remove all photos (there is a picture of a painting) from SLS. Just did not feel comfortable with it there. We prefer to make contact based on what's written in our profile and not what we "look like". We're sure that interesting couples have passed us by. On the other hand, we have made good and close friends using our approach because people like the values we write about. We will exchange photos by email if it seems appropriate, but we keep them G--or at least PG--rated until we have met the other couple.

[grayfox42104 38]

We only post pictures without faces that can be seen by all. Make them sexy (R rated to XXX rated, your choice), just don't show your faces. We also have some face pictures for friends only but our face pictures are very "G" rated and fully clothed in street clothing. We have the same concerns and occasionally someone guesses who we are but they usually don't tell.

[LFM2 1,482]

This is us as well. No head shots, just body shots and all are G rated.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

In my opinion body parts shots are not erotic. You know what they are attached to but I don't. I understand about the recognition thing. My advice is for her to wear a blindfold. Make it look like some kind of submission or bondage thing. Nobody will recognize her, naked, with a blindfold on(unless they have seen her naked before!), and the submission/bondage theme will get the attention of potential playmates. Cover up tattoos, use makeup, and be aware of those family pictures on the nightstand. Oops!... forgot... those feathered(or not), renaissance style masks are very not erotic to me also. Hats and sunglasses ... not erotic. Totally naked except for your shoes, as in high heels ... not erotic. In my opinion:).

[sexycplseeks 65]

We feel the same way regarding the need for discretion, and crop all our photos so our faces are not visible. Should a connection show promise, we will, after careful consideration, share face pics from an outside e-mail address that does NOT contain our lifestyle site username. These pictures are never "uncropped" images of cropped ones posted on our lifestyle site profiles. They are separate images that we only send for the purposes of sharing face pictures. How's that for "paranoia"?!?

 

Some folks will just not respect your wishes and concerns regarding this topic, and they will likely be folks who you wouldn't click with anyways. In our opinion, you never need to apologize for doing what you feel is right regarding your own safety, discretion and comfort.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I would suggest posting pictures that you can not be identified by. Either cut off or black out your heads/ faces in the pictures, and make sure there is nothing else showing that might identify you (jewelry, tattoos, etc)

[PB&J 1,086]

Nobody will recognize her, naked, with a blindfold on(unless they have seen her naked before!)

 

To the OP: do not feel that you have to do the naked pic thing to get attention from the right people. I have not exposed so much as a nipple in 5 years on an online site, and we have no trouble keeping ourselves busy. On the other hand, we don't have to waste time fending off inquiries from pic collectors. Win-win.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

To the OP: do not feel that you have to do the naked pic thing to get attention from the right people.

 

Great point! You do not have to post naked pictures!