The Blowjob Question

[Foreverinlove 23]

After reading so many posts on here it seems that a lot of people are still struggling with to blowjob or not to blowjob. But why is that the question?

 

Is it enjoyable and should it go to completion?

 

To me personally a blowjob is the least intimate form of pleasures. Yes I think it even ranks below kissing!

 

I've always thought they were exciting and since swinging I've probably given more BJ's to more men than I can remember.

 

If we're at a big party the men will say "there's Carol, let's get our BJ!" The other wives refer to me as the little vacuum cleaner. LOL

 

In talking to a vanilla friend who knows I swing, she told me she would never screw another guy other than her boyfriend, but if she met an attractive guy with a cute cock she would for sure give him a BJ, no problem!

 

Let's face it, cocks are fun and blowjobs are not intercourse, so what's the big deal?

[sunbuckus 3,569]

For some, BJs are not a big deal. For others, it is. Some don't like giving BJs. Others do. Some like to swallow; some don't. Some worry about whether to give a BJ protected or not. And some like to think before they jump in the pool and others dive right in.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I can't save I've ever noticed a big debate over whether or not to give oral sex. Other than a handful who worry about whether or not they should use protection for it. It seems like the "to kiss or not to kiss" is a much bigger issue for many more people.

 

As for BJ's in general, I agree with you. I've been giving them for 20 years and I rarely ever feel like they are intimate.

[LFM2 1,482]

I have to agree with Julie. I've been giving them for over 30 years and the only time they ever feel intimate is when I'm with Dave. Mostly, it's just for fun and aren't intimate at all.

 

Years ago when we were talking about swinging and boundaries, oral was never discussed.

[drinnt 201]

After reading so many posts on here it seems that a lot of people are still struggling with to BJ or not to BJ. But why is that the question?

 

Is it enjoyable and should it go to completion?

 

To me personally a BJ is the least intimate form of pleasures. Yes I think it even ranks below kissing!

 

I've always thought they were exciting and since swinging I've probably given more BJ's to more men than I can remember.

 

If we're at a big party the men will say "there's Carol, let's get our BJ!" The other wives refer to me as the little vacuum cleaner. LOL

 

In talking to a vanilla friend who knows I swing, she told me she would never screw another guy other than her boyfriend, but if she met an attractive guy with a cute cock she would for sure give him a BJ, no problem!

 

Let's face it, cocks are fun and BJ's are not intercourse, so what's the big deal?

 

You can paint the world with a broad-stroke brush and everyone would have the same point of view. As it is, we all grow up with varying views on sex and relationships and even SELF based upon the things that happened to us and defined our personality - how we respond to situations in life. As can be said for individuals, the same can be said for various VIEWS we have as individuals. It's how we are so alike and yet so different at the same time as human beings.

 

A BJ will mean something a little different to everyone. And again different from the POV of blower and blowee.

 

The most important part is that the two individuals participating are enjoying themselves. The rest is judgment.

[HanAndLeia 67]

As a man, I'm bummed to hear from the ladies here that blowjobs aren't intimate.

 

For me, if a woman is willing to suck on my dick, (maybe I'm wrong), but I will believe that she really digs me.

 

For me all sexual activities are intimate. Whether we're in the spa kissing, or on the couch fingering, or in bed sucking, all of those are sexual experiences that are meaningful and intimate.

 

It's not just a piece of meat ladies, its a connection to our body that allows you to fill us with great joy.

 

I guess I take sexual interactions more seriously than the average swinger. I like to think that with all the women I've been with they've appreciated me as much as I've appreciated them.

 

Hell, even if I'm sucking her toes or tugging on her butt plug, that's intimate for me LOL

[km34 672]

I can see what you mean, but I tend to agree with the other ladies that blow jobs often aren't all that intimate. My definition of intimate is emotional, though, and not physical - so any sex I have as a swinger (unless it is with a close friend for whom I possess feelings) isn't intimate. Intimacy, for me, requires the goal of increasing closeness, connection, or some other deeper, spiritual aspect. Those aren't my goals in swinger sex or any other random, casual sex I have.

[HanAndLeia 67]

I've been lucky that all the women I've had sex with I also really like.

 

Anyone of them I'd invite to a romantic getaway with me and Leia.

 

I guess this is why I could never do orgies or house parties or clubs. I tend to really like the people I sleep with.

 

Maybe I'm lucky? Maybe someday ill get deep enough into swinging that ill have "casual" sex.

 

But I hope not.

 

I couldn't ever replace Leia. But I am a huge lover of women and have nothing but respect for them.

 

I imagine, if I found out a woman was only using me for a piece of meat, I'd be a little bummed.

 

Admittedly we've only done it a few times, so we're inexperienced. But each time it was with a couple we really liked and became friends with first.

 

I imagine as we gain experience it will be less and less practical to form meaningful relationships with every couple we fuck.

 

Regardless, women, I love all of you!

 

Ladies, don't be surprised if I light candles and put on Barry White just for a BJ.

 

And if it is a good one, don't be surprised if I ask you to marry me.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

In talking to a vanilla friend who knows I swing, she told me she would never screw another guy other than her boyfriend, but if she met an attractive guy with a cute cock she would for sure give him a BJ, no problem!

 

Let's face it, cocks are fun and BJ's are not intercourse so what's the big deal

 

I don't actually think oral sex and intercourse are two different things. In my mind, if they're both meant to lead to orgasm, they're sex, which either is or is not a big deal, and is or is not intimate, depending on any number of factors. That means that your vanilla friend and I are coming from opposite sides, because I'd never give a blow job to someone I wouldn't fuck. It's also why we'd never consider a soft swap that involved oral.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think this is just a boundaries thing. Everyone has assigned in their head a certain "threshold" that has to be met before they will perform various acts, and that line is different for each act, and that's totally ok.

 

Speaking as a guy, I don't find blow jobs particularly intimate. I just take them to mean there is some level of attraction there, but I don't assume whatever level is present will apply to everything meaning all options are on the table.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Agreeing with all cplnuswing wrote about every act having different thresholds for every couple.

 

I also have noticed a difference between partners who mainly enjoy sex because they are receiving pleasure, and partners who mainly enjoy sex because they are giving pleasure. The latter are prone to be more enthusiastic about giving oral, and it changes the power dynamic. I prefer women who enjoy giving head not just because I love getting head, but also because I prefer being with a woman who takes what I'm feeling as seriously as I take what she's feeling.

 

Some of the women in this thread mention "cocks are fun". Mrs. EastInWest will tell you she's never had a man cum inside her that didn't also cause her to orgasm when she realized he was cumming, and she'll deny it but I have the photographic evidence to prove how gleeful she gets when I'm about to cum on her. Taking an interest in your partner's orgasm is a mindset, where there are also plenty who consider it a boring chore to get someone off and really pair better with someone who is on the same wavelength. Otherwise, it's going to be a very one-sided session.

 

No different for men: some go down on their partners because it's something she needs him to do, where if you gave me a lineup of reasonably pleasant ladies who were ready to receive oral, I'd probably call in sick at work. Increasingly, she's come around to the same view, that once she's turned on, performing is just fun for her.

[Guest]

I was a girl who fucked first, back in high school, and didn’t give BJ’s until several years later. Much later in life, when I became a somewhat youngish widow, I would fuck a date well before I would suck him. When I met and started dating my current hubby, he commented on this. Stated that his wife, back in high school was sucking a year or more before she lost her virginity and that, later in life, when she first went astray as a grad school, she sucked on that first interlude. He concludes that it is some pattern we set early in life. To some of us girls, sucking is more sacred, we give up our virginity, fuck on the first or second date later in life and don’t suck until later in the dating sequence. Other girls, who sucked before they lost their virginity, will suck on a date well before they fuck. Not trying to steal the thread but perhaps, ladies, address this in your responses as well.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I couldn't have said it better. I've rarely ever thought twice about giving a BJ. I love to do it, but it's not intimate. It's hot, but it's not intimate.