The Best and the Worst - Any Regrets?

[2_Eros 16]

Alright, so we're fairly new to the swinging scene. I'm curious about those of you who are more experienced or just want to share your own questions/concerns.

 

My questions are:

 

1) What has been your best experience?

2) Your worst?

3) Any time you felt you didn't want to swing again or regret having done it?

4) How many times did it take for things to become 'comfortable' (

[HanAndLeia 67]

My only regret was asking my wife to "take one for the team". The other couple was into us. But on our side only I was into the woman. Leia wasn't into the guy.

 

I asked her to just be a good sport.

 

We're still happily married, but if I had a time machine I'd handle that night differently. I would have listened to my wife and called it off with the other couple.

 

/Han

[km34 672]

1. Finding a couple that we became great friends with to have an ongoing thing with for over a year.

 

2. Drinking too much and doing things with a couple neither of us were really into, just because we didn't want to tell them no. It was fun, and we don't really regret it, but we would have made a different choice had we been sober.

 

3. We take periodic breaks when we don't feel interested in swinging. So far, we have never stopped and said "We NEVER plan to swing again," but it could happen (unlikely, but possible). No real regrets, but a moment or two that we shake our heads at and wonder what we were thinking.

 

4. We still get "first date jitters" but other than that, we have had no issues with comfort or anything. We jumped right in and never looked back.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

1) What has been your best experience?

The totally unexpected experience -- two people, both looking like pages from a fashion magazine, approaching and wanting to get to know us.

 

2) Your worst?

Watching a woman crumple onto her knees at my feet in complete misery and pleading. "don't make me do this. He forces me to do this." After, of course, the guy had taked my wife upstairs for a roll in the hay.

 

3) Any time you felt you didn't want to swing again or regret having done it?

My wife and I started down this road and we have never looked back. We're having the times of our lives.

 

4) How many times did it take for things to become 'comfortable' (

It was a little frustrating at first finding people, took about a year before we found the right couple and the right ways of searching, but we were comfortable with the concept right from the start.

[LFM2 1,482]

1) What has been your best experience?

They've all been great experiences. Some were more fun than others, but we've not ever really had a bad night. Not that I can remember, anyway. The funnest night I can remember (and Dave's memory might be different) Last year at our Halloween party, we got together with our usual couple and another couple who were pretty new to the whole swinging scene. There were six of us on that queen sized bed and we were screwed up every which way. I had a choke hold on someone just to stay on the bed. We ended up laughing pretty hard that night because the whole thing was just too much fun.

2) Your worst?

Looking back, maybe it was our first time we were with another couple. It wasn't so much the play, but they were kinda stalkers afterward.

3) Any time you felt you didn't want to swing again or regret having done it?

Not that I can immediately remember. I have no idea what our future holds. We might quit tomorrow or we might not quit till we die. We're having the time of our lives with our little hobby.

 

4) How many times did it take for things to become 'comfortable' (

I don't remember it ever being uncomfortable, or maybe I don't understand your question. It's always been a comfortable thing for us to have fun with another couple. There's never been any jealousy or any regrets in all the years we've been swinging.

[LFM2 1,482]

2) Your worst?

Watching a woman crumple onto her knees at my feet in complete misery and pleading. "don't make me do this. He forces me to do this." After, of course, the guy had taked my wife upstairs for a roll in the hay.

 

Oh gawd... It's like pleading not to rape her. How did this end up?

[Guest sandraandalex]

I'm answering me from my perspective. I'm Sandra.

 

1) What has been your best experience? Like most people say, they've all been great to varying degrees. I've had two 'best' experiences. The first was our first experience which was at a Club. The couple knew it was our first time and I was about to go down on the other husband and he stopped me, kissed me and said,"Tonight it's all about you," and showed me, what up to that moment, was the best sex I had ever had. The second was our first time with a couple, at their home and they were very experienced. it was the first time I ever experienced just being 'taken' sexually and it was amazing. His wife said he never had really done anything like that before and simply had a vibe on what I wanted. He did and we still see this couple. They're great. She was also my first girl.

 

2) Your worst? The worst was actually after a romp when Alex, my husband, went through serious self doubt about his abilities as a lover. These were all in his mind, we worked through them, yet I was saddened seeing him like that. He was learning to become a better sex partner and was being too hard on himself. The funny thing was, when I eventually checked back with the girl involved she said,"He was a great fuck."

 

3) Any time you felt you didn't want to swing again or regret having done it? Never. It's been such a liberating experience.

 

4) How many times did it take for things to become 'comfortable' (

[angelkin 1,326]

Answering your questions here from my personal point of view, not us as a couple...

 

1) What has been your best experience?

An organic and unplanned MMMMF, my husband was generous enough to share me - watching (well ,not *just* watching) over me ensuring I was comfortable and safe and enjoying myself. The look on his face of excitement and pleasure and even adoration was priceless and one I'll never forget.

 

2) Your worst?

Taking one for the team...or at least attempting to. He was really into her (I thought) and I had failed to find anything that attracted me to her Mr. - but I thought I'd play along. I had to really question my motivations and come to terms with my choices, that took a few weeks. We took a few weeks off so I could sort things out and decide how to handle future situations. I still have mixed success with this, but I am working on it.

 

3) Any time you felt you didn't want to swing again or regret having done it?

I have never regretted swinging and we are having the time of our lives. I don't see us stopping anytime soon, maybe not ever. We do take little breaks when life gets too busy and are sure to set aside "us" time.

 

4) How many times did it take for things to become 'comfortable' (

I don't think we've ever felt uncomfortable...we jumped right in both feet first and have never looked back.

[2_Eros 16]

2) Your worst?

Watching a woman crumple onto her knees at my feet in complete misery and pleading. "don't make me do this. He forces me to do this." After, of course, the guy had taked my wife upstairs for a roll in the hay.

 

Oh gawd... It's like pleading not to rape her. How did this end up?

 

^ My thoughts exactly

 

(Also, thanks for all the feedback so far! You guys are great)

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

 

Oh gawd... It's like pleading not to rape her. How did this end up?

 

This scene instantly pissed me off. The woman had put on a very convincing act over the period of several earlier meetings. Only in retrospect did I realize she was every minute under the watchful eye of her husband. It is almost certainly a good thing that my wife had taken the man by the hand and led him upstairs, leaving me and the woman to ourselves. Had we been all four in one room, she would probably have continued her Academy Award Performance all the way through the act of sex.

 

Anyway, I then took her by the hand, led her up the stairs, halted the other performance-in-progress, and explained, trying with some difficulty to keep a calm, even voice, what had just happened downstairs. To her credit, my wife immediately understood the situation and made the suggestion, "we're all going to get dressed and go somewhere to talk."

 

The idea of "somewhere" was to get them out of our house without seeming to toss them out, which they both would have richly deserved. We went to a tavern (in two separate vehicles) which is just a half mile down the road. I was rather hoping he would just gun the engine and take off without showing up at the tavern. My wife did most of the talking, a stern lecture, really. He was all apologetic; his wife sat in abject silence. I believe the snake was actually calculating a way he could still pull it off.

 

We have never seen nor heard from them again, thankfully. Unhappily, he still keeps an online profile. I say "he" rather than "they" as I'm sure that profile is no initiative on her part.

 

Regret to jack the thread, but somebody did ask.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Anyway, I then took her by the hand, led her up the stairs, halted the other performance-in-progress, and explained, trying with some difficulty to keep a calm, even voice, what had just happened downstairs. To her credit, my wife immediately understood the situation and made the suggestion, "we're all going to get dressed and go somewhere to talk."

 

The idea of "somewhere" was to get them out of our house without seeming to toss them out, which they both would have richly deserved. We went to a tavern (in two separate vehicles) which is just a half mile down the road. I was rather hoping he would just gun the engine and take off without showing up at the tavern. My wife did most of the talking, a stern lecture, really. He was all apologetic; his wife sat in abject silence. I believe the snake was actually calculating a way he could still pull it off.

 

I can't think of a better way to handle this situation than the way you did. As soon as you realized she wasn't into it, you shut the whole show down, and you both handled it so there wouldn't be any drama. Kudos to the both of you.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I can't think of a better way to handle this situation than the way you did. As soon as you realized she wasn't into it, you shut the whole show down, and you both handled it so there wouldn't be any drama. Kudos to the both of you.

 

I can't either. That was a fast and excellent response on your part and on your wife's part. It's unfortunate (and vomit-inducing) that they're still doing this, but you cannot save people without their active participation. Bleh.

[LFM2 1,482]

Exactly.

 

P.S. Also sorry for hijacking this thread, but a great lesson to be learned.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

1) What has been your best experience? They've all pretty much been best experiences. Each time is different, but the people have been amazing. The real best part, though, is always how it cracks us open a little more and makes us more loving and open with each other.

 

2) Your worst? Haven't had any bad experiences swinging as a couple. As a single, a partner put a condom on and then palmed it off where I couldn't see him. Someone else did, though, and pulled him off. He was removed from the premises and his membership was revoked. I was a bit revolted and very grateful to everyone else who got involved that night.

 

3) Any time you felt you didn't want to swing again or regret having done it? Never. It's not a huge priority for us, but I also can't see giving it up, either.

 

4) How many times did it take for things to become 'comfortable' ( Our transition was a lot of talk, public sex at a club, an FMF threesome with an old friend of mine, more talk, more public sex, an amazingly wonderful swap with a couple we still see. We were comfortable with each step and it just seemed to flow organically from one event to another.

[Hippiegirlie 276]

Best experience? Feeling like I know where I belong sexually and being comfortable and confident enough to continue doing it for as long as I have.

Worst? Being stalked. I've had several less serious situations and one that resulted in changing of numbers and email, police involvement, etc. Funny thing is that the guy was a nice man, no red flags, and we had pretty good chemistry/connection. You just never know about people. I do not blame anything within the LS, it just happened.

Any time I felt I didn't want to swing or regret it? I didn't swing through the 9 year duration of my marriage and I regret that decision, not the decision to swing.

How many times? I was hooked the first time some friends and I decided to have an "orgy." I was 19. The only time I was hesitant was after I had extensive surgery including hysterectomy for cancer. I was concerned with my sexuality in general. Would I be able to enjoy sex? to orgasm? etc. so it wasn't directly linked to the LS.

[Swing*8701 887]

Susan here

1) What has been your best experience?

 

Well, I don't believe in absolutes like 'best' , yet one of the early memorable experiences was when I was still single. I had been experimenting with casual sex and couples. This led to being invited to a special invitation house party. All weekend, ten men and ten women. It was thrilling and fun and more. The idea from the host was that people would try to act more as singles, even if they were a couple. The host said,"Yes means Yes and No means no, and please say Yes as often as possible." It remains one of the more positive group sex experiences of my life. And even though it was mostly one on one sex, I did play with each man and most of the women

 

Your worst?

 

This was more like dodging a bullet. A newbie couple were part of a weekend with four couples. He got jealous and was trying to control it. I put the two of them in a bedroom and told them to 'fuck this out of your systems,' and they did and the rest of the weekend went great.

 

Any time you felt you didn't want to swing again or regret having done it?

 

When I married Edison, giving up Swinging was part of the package. Not everyone is wired to do this. Being married to him was more important to me than Swinging. He a never complained about it while we were dating. He simply asked me to be discrete about it, which I succeeded at most of the time. After a month of marriage he had a change of perspective and asked to try it and things went great and still do.

 

How many times did it take for things to become comfortable ?

 

I'll answer this from both my perspective as a single woman and a married one. As a single woman, after a couple of experiences of casual sex and nothing bad happened because I handled it in a very adult and mature way, I realized I could Play. As a married woman, once I saw Ed happily having sex with a gal pal of mine and not looking for me because he was completely focused on her, told me everything was great.

[HanAndLeia 67]

I can't think of a better way to handle this situation than the way you did. As soon as you realized she wasn't into it, you shut the whole show down, and you both handled it so there wouldn't be any drama. Kudos to the both of you.

 

 

If he was forcing her to swing and she had such fear, he probably beat the hell out of her after they got back home.

 

You didn't need to rat her out. Just say, "don't worry we don't have to have sex, we can just say we did". And leave it at that. She doesn't get forced into anything and her evil slave-owning husband doesn't have to find out she told someone.

 

I hope she eventually got away from him.

 

My 2 cents

 

/Han

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . You didn't need to rat her out. Just say, "don't worry we don't have to have sex, we can just say we did". . . .

What? I was supposed to sit downstairs, hold her hand and the both of us listen quietly as the headboard banged against the wall? Would have done neither her nor me any good.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

If he was forcing her to swing and she had such fear, he probably beat the hell out of her after they got back home.

 

You didn't need to rat her out. Just say, "don't worry we don't have to have sex, we can just say we did". And leave it at that. She doesn't get forced into anything and her evil slave-owning husband doesn't have to find out she told someone.

 

I hope she eventually got away from him.

 

My 2 cents

 

/Han

 

"Yeah honey, I found out she didn't want to do it, and was just doing it so he could have his fun. So, we talked while you and that guy were fucking. You don't have a problem with me not telling you what he was up to and what he was doing to his wife do you?"

-Want to guess where the conversation would have went from there?

[HanAndLeia 67]

"Yeah honey, I found out she didn't want to do it, and was just doing it so he could have his fun. So, we talked while you and that guy were fucking. You don't have a problem with me not telling you what he was up to and what he was doing to his wife do you?"

-Want to guess where the conversation would have went from there?

 

Lol I see your point.

[2_Eros 16]

What? I was supposed to sit downstairs, hold her hand and the both of us listen quietly as the headboard banged against the wall?

 

It really does seem like one of those situations where there wasn't an 'ideal' outcome. I agree that your priority is first and foremost, your wife. However, if the other woman had that kind of fear, it is frightening to think what she may live with behind closed doors. It's those types of "men" who should not be allowed around women. :/

[M1F2KTJ 473]

 

1) What has been your best experience?

 

Our best experience was our first. It was better than my fantasy. It took me a long time talking her into trying it. She loved it and wanted more.

 

2) Your worst?

 

It was the first time she seduced someone in front of me. It was at a bar and she was drunk and horny. It was unexpected for me. The other guy was kind of surprised at her hitting on him in front of me but he got the idea and we went back to our place. It was the first time she took control. Unfortunately the guy couldn't get it up. She was depressed for a long time after that to the point that she lost her enthusiasm for doing anything like that again.

 

3) Any time you felt you didn't want to swing again or regret having done it?

 

She had such a good experience with the first guy I talked her into having sex with that they became emotionally attached. They fell in love. It's a long story but we are still married.