By
tormontreal
We are almost a year into a committed relationship with plans to get married. We live in different cities and visit each other almost every weekend. She's 28 and I'm 27. We've got an incredible sexlife that just seems to be getting deeper, more meaningful, and hotter with time. A few months ago, we decided to do something spontaneous and visited a swingers club where she ended up getting a body shot licked off her topless on the bar by the coatcheck girl. We both were super turned on by this encounter and started talking about the idea of playing... End of february we ended spending the night at a couple's place after a dinner party where all four of us played in bed together. We had agreed that we would not full swap, saving that kind of intimacy just for us to share with each other.
Well... last weekend we got talking about bringing a man she finds attractive over to her place this weekend for a night of fun as a birthday gift for her. She is incredibly turned by the thought of having me and another man take her on together... and I'm loving the idea too... Somehow we got onto how hot it would be if she had us both... all the way... all night long. This is a revision to our "no swapping" thing from before. Now we want to do it. We've talked about the consequences and how we feel about it a lot, role played it in bed, and are excited about it. Now we want to decide on moving ahead with it. I'm wondering if there's something an experienced swinger couple might have us consider about this before we move ahead, bearing in mind the following:
- this is about us, and the whole purpose of it is for it to turn us on
- this isn't an attempt to spice up a lame sex life... we just have heard and think if done right that it can be incredibly hot
- the "invitee" works in her company but in a different department... they do occasionally see each other at work lunches and events with other people but not often
- I've met him at one of her work functions before and he knows how committed we are... i also happen to think he's a genuinely nice guy and will be respectful in bed with us... mostly with her seeing as I'm not looking for a bi-sexual experience
- we've agreed that this is our space now, so any conversations she has with him after are to be shared with me
- we've discussed rules and how to handle things if he should he develop feelings for her after
- we've decided that she'll talk to him this week at lunch and lay the whole thing out for him to decide on...rules and all... since she's caught him checking her out a few times already, we don't see him turning the opportunity down.
- she is away from work for a week after this night of fun allowing for a cool off period
- we've talked about the possibility of me becoming jealous... and I'm feeling good about this not being a big cause for concern. I think seeing her in action with him might actually quell all the thoughts i have about her previous sex life with other men - these thoughts have actually started turning me on recently... i don't know why really... they used to make me jealous with my previous girlfriends...I think i'm getting to the source of where my jealousy was really stemming from.
- we've talked about the possibility of her feeling dirty afterwards... she doesn't see this as a concern... her primary concern is that I'm ok with him being inside of her
- we've talked about ways of making the encounter safe
The biggest thing we've narrowed it down to is how she and him will have to handle themselves after this night given they work in proximity and also given that she and I won't be living in the same city until she moves to be with me in 4 months.
Do you think we've done our due diligence? Are we silly to be doing this given that we're only late twenties and not even married yet? Are we missing details? Should we maybe just pillow talk for a few more months and see what we think then? We're confident that we are adult about all our decisions regarding this.. marriage included... we would like to know if you're seeing something here that we might've missed.
...your advice would be very much appreciated.
Thanks.
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