Jump to content
eldiablo311

Is sharing your wife with another a way to validate that they are attractive?

Recommended Posts

Just had another conversation this weekend with my wife about my fantasy of seeing her fuck another man, and she was a little bothered that it may be because I want to prove she is desirable, and she felt a little insecure that I was not that into her looks or our sex life. I reassured her that that was absolutely not the case and that I just have a fetish/fantasy to watch her get fucked. I told her I think she is very attractive and our sex life is great and I am absolutely not bored with our sex life or her! I told her I like to watch her receive pleasure and I think it would be a huge turn on to see her getting pleasured from another person. I am a voyeur/exhibitionist I feel. I also told her I think it would be very hot to see how turned on she would get from another person and to watch her cum with another person. All of that having been said, in all honesty, I think there is an aspect of validation and knowing that other people wants something you have.

 

What do you all think? Is that part of the reason you swing? Do you like to know someone else thinks your wife/partner is hot and wants to fuck them....so therefore it validates the way you feel about your partner. Is that a bad thing?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Well, as a voyeur and exhibitionist who enjoy's watching my wife get fucked by others, I think I enjoy it because I find it really hot. :)

 

Yes, I do get a thrill out of other guys (and ladies) thinking my wife is hot and wanting to fuck her. I don't feel that it "validates" my feelings toward my partner. I feel the way I feel about her regardless of what other people think. I just get a thrill out of other people appreciating her as much as I do.

Share this post


Link to post

I agree Lionheart72, I told my wife the same thing, that I don't need anyone to validate that she is an attractive, desirable person...I have always felt that way about her! I just think that it may be a small part of the thrill of sharing your partner.

 

When I think about it, I think for me there are 2 basic reasons why sharing my wife turns me on;

 

1) The voyeuristic aspect; watching how much my wife and the other person get off on each other. The excitement of seeing how much another person wants your partner, and how much your partner wants that other person.

 

2) The taboo of doing something that is not supposed to be done in "normal relationships" makes it exciting.

 

The 1st reason is the one that I feel might contain a bit of validation in that it is proving how desirable your partner is to someone outside the relationship.

Share this post


Link to post
Well, as a voyeur and exhibitionist who enjoy's watching my wife get fucked by others, I think I enjoy it because I find it really hot. :)

 

Yes, I do get a thrill out of other guys (and ladies) thinking my wife is hot and wanting to fuck her. I don't feel that it "validates" my feelings toward my partner. I feel the way I feel about her regardless of what other people think. I just get a thrill out of other people appreciating her as much as I do.

 

For me, It's just like what Lionheart said. I'd also add, that on wife's behalf, her being with other guys has made her feel great about herself. She knows she's still attractive to others which has been great for her self confidence.

Share this post


Link to post

I can't buy into the "someone else wants her" validation theory... I don't care what others think, I share her because she's hot TO ME and I am a voyeur.. plus, if I wanted to use that as a validation method, then I'd have to take it personally if she were turned down, and I don't take it personally. I just figure someone missed out on a great play session, shame on them.. She knows she's hot to the one that matters... LOL

Share this post


Link to post

I've said it before. Watching your wife go at it with a new lover BLOWS any porno film you've ever seen out of the water. It is incredibly hot. I guess the voyeur aspect of it wins for me too.

Share this post


Link to post

When i see other men checking her out i know its obvious they want to fuck her, likewise when i see a married woman who i would love to fuck but i cant because her man won't allow it or they simply are not into sharing. I'm not like that, I'm in the frame of mind of why not let her and the other guy express their attraction for each other? he wants her, she wants him, we all have these urges with people we find attractive so go for it do the deed get the urge over and done with - you only live once. A lot of couples cant handle it basically because they are scared of losing them romantically/emotionally. Some of us are pretty good though of knowing when to draw the line between sex and love.

 

Seeing her have sex with another men is just a turn on - pure and simple.

1) From the moment they first lay eyes on each other, observing the level of lust in each of their eyes with lots of smiling going on that you just know they are in for a good time later once they depart from the bar and then go to a room after all the small talk is done.

2) I love watching what she's like with other men compared to when she's with me

3) seeing the pleasure on her face, how her body reacts to different things with different men

4) seeing them kissing with such passion while grinding and ploughing into each other like there's no tomorrow

5) you know she's having a real good time when you see his cock slowly turning more white from her being more and more turned on by him

6) its even more of a turn on if he isn't using a condom and then cums inside her. Its an increased level of intimacy for both of them, its risky and its extremely naughty, especially with a black gent.

7) i like knowing that if it wasn't for me he wouldn't have been able to fuckher in any other "normal" circumstance. I allow her to be as much of a slut as she discretely desires, as you know its still not "cool" for women to sleep around.

8) I find it amusing when we meet up with our parents/family seeing how "normal" and innocent and everything she is around our parents, they would absolutely disown us in a heartbeat if they knew what she had been up to sucking other men's cocks, swallowing their loads and hearing how she talks when having sex she has such a dirty mouth she is a completely different person sexually.

9) There is nothing more of a turn on than when she orgasms, be it with me or some other man, the more repeat orgasms she has the more of a turn on it is for me.

 

Its like watching porn, you see the couple having sex and you just really want to fuck that girl. Experiencing that with your wife is so much more fun, not only does she get pleasure from yourself when you are alone together but also you are allowing her to have more sex if she wants it. A lot of men enjoy seeing their wife pleasuring herself but for me that is boring when compared to seeing her pussy being penetrated by the real thing instead of some dildo.

Share this post


Link to post

I agree, that is what I was telling my wife, that I am not trying to validate that she is an attractive person...I am just a voyeur and the thought of seeing her pleasured by another man, or woman, turns me on greatly!! I think she just got a little sensitive because I have been bringing up this fantasy to her a lot lately and maybe she feels I am getting bored with her, which is absolutely not the case! I love our sex life together, just the 2 of us!

Share this post


Link to post

I don't think watching my wife was ever on my favorites list. I really liked fucking the other lady. My most favorite was making love with Laura after we'd played with another couple.

Share this post


Link to post

My wife has asked me why I enjoy seeing her with other men and it's the most difficult thing I've ever tried to explain.

 

The first time I had the pleasure I was only 25 and she was one of the sexiest 21 year old gals around. So, no, it certainly had nothing to do with validating. Heck, I knew and she knew that every guy we knew wanted to fuck her.

 

I just thought that watching her with our friend was totally hot. And, of course, the seconds I got was the most fantastic fuck of my life. I just wish that now we have shared my bisexuality that we could do it again so I could experience a creampie from her, and maybe share a lover with her.

Share this post


Link to post
My wife has asked me why I enjoy seeing her with other men and it's the most difficult thing I've ever tried to explain.

 

The first time I had the pleasure I was only 25 and she was one of the sexiest 21 year old gals around. So, no, it certainly had nothing to do with validating. Heck, I knew and she knew that every guy we knew wanted to fuck her.

 

I just thought that watching her with our friend was totally hot. And, of course, the seconds I got was the most fantastic fuck of my life. I just wish that now we have shared my bisexuality that we could do it again so I could experience a creampie from her, and maybe share a lover with her.

 

 

I agree it is totally hot to think about seeing my wife with another man or woman and I think the main reason is voyeurism. I love to see her get turned on by someone else and also her sleeping with someone else would provide her a super exciting, new experience, and it would be amazing to watch/participate in that experience! I do feel that there is a small aspect of the situation, though, in seeing how turned on your wife makes another person and seeing how sexually and otherwise enticing she is to another person, is validation for both me and her. In other words, it simply reinforces what I/we already know....she is a beautiful, desirable woman and it would be thrilling to watch the reaction of another person with her unfold before my eyes...I feel.

 

In the same way, I think no matter how good looking a person you are, it is always flattering to have somebody hit on you. Same idea...validation, of something you may already know in some cases.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest sandraandalex

A testimonial:

 

Sandra: I have never thought that my husband watching me have sex was to in some way validate my desirability or attractiveness.

 

Alex: It NEVER has occurred to me that watching my wife have great sex was because I was uncertain of how amazing she is, physically or sexually. That would be silly.

 

We think your wife doesn't understand your sexual goal and is trying to rationalize some other goal that makes sense to her.

Share this post


Link to post
A testimonial:

 

Sandra: I have never thought that my husband watching me have sex was to in some way validate my desirability or attractiveness.

 

Alex: It NEVER has occurred to me that watching my wife have great sex was because I was uncertain of how amazing she is, physically or sexually. That would be silly.

 

We think your wife doesn't understand your sexual goal and is trying to rationalize some other goal that makes sense to her.

 

I think you are right, my wife just felt a little insecure about what my sexual goal is and why I keep bringing it up. She says she understands now and was just insecure at the time. I feel on my part I just need to not bring it up so much when we have sex.

 

It is not her fantasy. She says she doesn't like to think about other people fucking her...maybe with the exception of women though. I think she may feel a little uncomfortable admitting to me that it would be a big turn on to be fucked by another man. I think she feels that it is not as big a deal to admit that she would like to sleep with another girl sometime again.

Share this post


Link to post
It is not her fantasy. She says she doesn't like to think about other people fucking her...maybe with the exception of women though. I think she may feel a little uncomfortable admitting to me that it would be a big turn on to be fucked by another man. I think she feels that it is not as big a deal to admit that she would like to sleep with another girl sometime again.

 

Or maybe she's honestly not interested in having sex with another guy. I know people who are strictly monogamous and have no interest in having sex with anyone other than their partner (fantasy notwithstanding). I know people who are bi-curious and wouldn't mind exploring that, but otherwise have no interest in having straight sex any anyone other than their partner. I know people who will fuck anyone, any where, any time.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, unless you have good reason to believe your wife isn't being honest with you for some reason accept her at her word. Maybe she just isn't interested.

Share this post


Link to post

For me too, the voyeur aspect wins out although as we both get older knowing that other men (and women) find Jo to be sexually attractive is somewhat re-assuring for both of us. Watching Jo with another partner is a huge turn on for me. I will never forget the first time I watched her with another man. That was over 30 years ago and it is as exciting now as it was back then. I just love to watch Jo being pleasured by her partner, to see and listen to her responses as she is being licked or fucked, to see the look on her face as she approaches and then experiences her climax. I especially enjoy watching her with another man - the moment when he penetrates her pussy with his hard cock and begins his thrusting is undoubtedly one of the most erotic sights I have ever seen.

Share this post


Link to post

Lionheart is so right.

Only go ahead with it if she really wants to and not doing it only for your sake. Otherwise she will just lay there with little interest with the other guy, you'll find the whole experience not what you expected not even half as good as you thought it would.

 

Maybe try getting her to feel ok with checking out other men. Because you know its normal for a wife to believe its right to not look at any other man in a certain way other than her husband. So ask her more often what kind of men do it for her, what features of a man are sexy, then when you are out around town pass comment to her of does she think that guy over there is attractive. At first she might not be bothered, but give it time and always come across as though you really dont mind if she lusts over other men. If she has a low sex drive then she's a lost cause with all this and best if you forget the whole idea or else you might end up losing her.

Share this post


Link to post
Lionheart is so right.

Only go ahead with it if she really wants to and not doing it only for your sake. Otherwise she will just lay there with little interest with the other guy, you'll find the whole experience not what you expected not even half as good as you thought it would.

 

Maybe try getting her to feel ok with checking out other men. Because you know its normal for a wife to believe its right to not look at any other man in a certain way other than her husband. So ask her more often what kind of men do it for her, what features of a man are sexy, then when you are out around town pass comment to her of does she think that guy over there is attractive. At first she might not be bothered, but give it time and always come across as though you really dont mind if she lusts over other men. If she has a low sex drive then she's a lost cause with all this and best if you forget the whole idea or else you might end up losing her.

 

I know she doesn't have low sex drive, she is just like any other normal person if she worked a long day she needs sleep more than sex, but when she gets rest she is all about sex.

 

I know she really liked when we recently went to a strip club in Vegas and I bought her a private dance from a male stripper. He ended up dancing for about 1/2hr for her with me right there next to her and he was kissing her neck, he had her breasts exposed and was kissing her nipples, and eventually she let him play with her pussy. I felt her pussy at one point when he removed his hand and she was dripping wet! I asked her if she wanted to feel his dick and she said "yes" and she ended up stroking his hard cock under his g-string for awhile. She seemed to really enjoy that and she says she would like to go back and to that again.

 

Also we have spoke many times about her possibly having sex with another girl. She was with a girl for 3 years before we met. She has said many times she misses eating a girl out. I

 

I think you are right, I should ask her when we are out what guys she finds attractive in the bar we are at, once in awhile and get her more comfortable talking about this stuff. I also think I should encourage her to go out for drinks the next time she goes on a business trip by herself. She did that last year and I was texting her, encouraging her to go out and talk/flirt with some guys and have fun at the local bar and the hotel bar. She was fine with going out and even talking with some guys once I told her that. So I feel there is something there with her, I just need to be careful about how I approach all of this with her.

 

I think the sex with another girl idea and the male stripper idea are 2 things she can get down with right now. Sex with another man, maybe not just yet. What do you all think?

Share this post


Link to post

I had the same conversation with my wife only not exactly the same as you are describing. I felt that she was so awesome and enthusiastic when she was having sex with me that I had an irresistible urge to watch her from a different perspective. I tried to talk her into video recording us but she refused to be photographed or filmed. The only way I could watch her is if she had sex with someone else. Another man having sex with her didn't bother me. She was worried that I didn't love her anymore. She couldn't understand why I would let another man have sex with her. Not only was I trying to fulfill my selfish desire to watch her having sex but it was because I loved her that I wanted her to feel free to have sex and have experiences with other men. Knowing another man wanted to have sex with her and seeing how hard he was in front of her made her feel good about herself but it was just as devastating to her when a man couldn't get it up. I tried to reassure her that it had happened to me before with other women. That it had more to do with him being nervous than anything to do with her. The more experiences she had the more confident she became to the point where she was inviting men on her own.

 

I think there is an aspect of validation and knowing that other people wants something you have.

 

Do you like to know someone else thinks your wife/partner is hot and wants to fuck them....

 

My wife fell in love with the first person I talked her into trying it with. I was happy that she liked it, LOVED it, so much that she looked forward to doing it again and again with him. I LOVED watching them having orgasms together. It was an odd feeling for her to feel love for both of us but I was willing to share. He wasn't. He tried to posses her for himself and she was disappointed but chose me and our marriage over him. After a few more experiences with other men she was able to detach herself from the emotional aspect of having great sex with someone.

Share this post


Link to post

For my wife, she doesn't look at it as a validation of her beauty. She looks at it as another way increase our orgasms. She loves the fact that I love to watch her and another guy. We share our fantasies quite a bit doing foreplay. My wife loves bareback and while I'm pumping her pussy from behind she like to moan about having the "Other" guy watching and awaiting for his turn to get on top of her and pump her pussy too. So she also fantasizes about another guy as much as i do.

Share this post


Link to post
For my wife, she doesn't look at it as a validation of her beauty. She looks at it as another way increase our orgasms. She loves the fact that I love to watch her and another guy. We share our fantasies quite a bit doing foreplay. My wife loves bareback and while I'm pumping her pussy from behind she like to moan about having the "Other" guy watching and awaiting for his turn to get on top of her and pump her pussy too. So she also fantasizes about another guy as much as i do.

 

I want to get my wife comfortable with the idea of fantasizing about another man, she still says the idea of someone else fucking her is hard to think about. I think she can be a lot more comfortable with the idea of another girl fucking her though.

 

Interestingly my wife came home from work today and told me SHE recorded a couple of shows last night and watched the 1st one. The 1st one was about the swinger lifestyle and follows 3 different couples around and the 2nd one she didn't watch yet was about S&M bondage stuff. I wonder if she is getting a little more comfortable with the idea of swinging and a little curious? ;o) Maybe this is a sign she will be down to fuck another person, guy or girl in the near future? What do you think?

Share this post


Link to post
I want to get my wife comfortable with the idea of fantasizing about another man, she still says the idea of someone else fucking her is hard to think about. I think she can be a lot more comfortable with the idea of another girl fucking her though.

 

Interestingly my wife came home from work today and told me SHE recorded a couple of shows last night and watched the 1st one. The 1st one was about the swinger lifestyle and follows 3 different couples around and the 2nd one she didn't watch yet was about S&M bondage stuff. I wonder if she is getting a little more comfortable with the idea of swinging and a little curious? ;o) Maybe this is a sign she will be down to fuck another person, guy or girl in the near future? What do you think?

 

 

 

Based on what your saying it sounds like she is getting more comfortable with the ideal of swinging. I would say let her slowly become more interested in swinging (In her own way) and also encourge her to talk about some of her fantasies especial during foreplay or even while you two are having sex (Orgasms can be very intense when talking about fantasies and having sex at the same time) and be supportive of all her fantasies and then pretty soon she will start wanting to take hers and your fanstasies to the next level, and possibly act them out in real life. What ever you do, don't push her or get to extreme to quickly or it will kill the entire ideal of swinging.

Share this post


Link to post
Based on what your saying it sounds like she is getting more comfortable with the ideal of swinging. I would say let her slowly become more interested in swinging (In her own way) and also encourge her to talk about some of her fantasies especial during foreplay or even while you two are having sex (Orgasms can be very intense when talking about fantasies and having sex at the same time) and be supportive of all her fantasies and then pretty soon she will start wanting to take hers and your fanstasies to the next level, and possibly act them out in real life. What ever you do, don't push her or get to extreme to quickly or it will kill the entire ideal of swinging.

I think she might want to watch the documentary on swinging that she saw with me, she did not say 'watch it without me I already saw it' so I am hoping this weekend we can sit down and have a few drinks and watch it together and maybe discuss it a little bit. I know she liked the Playboy channel "Swing" series last year. We had the playboy channel for a few months and were recording all of those shows. She said she liked watching those episodes.

 

I am trying to take it slow for both our sakes, and I feel that all my talk about my fantasy has made her a little curious and like you say 'in her own way' she is slowly starting to think about it more and more. I have tried to get her to tell me what fantasies she has and she always tells me she doesn't really have any fantasies...however, last week she finally said she thought she could try to fantasize about this one guy, in this Erica Lust porn we have, fucking her while I fuck her with this realistic dildo we bought awhile back. So we did that. She seems to be slowly opening up to the idea of some other guy fucking her. Like I said though, she has always been open to having sex with another girl.

 

Like I had mentioned, it went pretty far with that male stripper in Vegas. The guy was basically fingering her, or playing with her clit with his hand and she was jerking him off! She was so turned on by the whole situation! I really think there is something there with my wife, I just need to give it some time to develop.

I think this is a pretty big step, and a lot to consider so she is just trying to figure out where I am coming from with this fantasy and sometimes she gets a little worried that I am not into her and I want to validate that she is an attractive person...which is not the case. The reason I want to do it is mainly because of the voyeur aspect of it all. I am thinking eventually why would she not want to do it? It seems like, as long as you know you love the person you are with and have no intentions of ever leaving that person, why wouldn't the idea of having sex with another person turn you on? If my wife told me it was her fantasy to see me fuck another girl in front of her that would blow my mind and I would be super turned on by that! I would just want to make sure that she wouldn't be mad at me and want to leave me afterwards...I would never want to lose her for anything.

Share this post


Link to post

I think that for some there may be a certain level of that. I don't think it's as much about proving that they are desirable, but that it's nice to know that others desire your partner. It makes you feel good to know that you have something that others want... whether it's a spouse, a house, or well-behaved kids. If your partner is desirable then you are desirable by proxy... you become the Joneses in a way. Knowing that someone else finds your mate desirable likely makes them all the more desirable to you. I think that can actually be very good for a relationship. Too often, we take our mates for granted. We just see them as a fixture in our lives. Over time couples may "give up" a bit and she may forget to put on make-up or may just decide that that old torn up tshirt is just fine for going out. Putting ourselves in situations where we are forced to see that others find our mates attractive forces us to take another look at them, from a new point of view. Perhaps it is then that we throw out the ratty shirt or put on make-up just because he's home from work. In the end, as much as we may get some level of validation by knowing that others find our partners attractive, we get the most validation when our partners show us that they find US attractive.

 

I said all that to say this... the fact that this has emerged as your wife's worry makes me question whether or not she is feeling that you think she is undesirable and that you NEED to validate that she is still attractive. It's time to take a step back and spend some time showing her just how hot you think she is. Take some time to do things just for her. Dress up and take her out (just because). Do some things around the house (without being asked). Bring her flowers (or whatever she may prefer in place of flowers). Doing these things validates to her that you still find her attractive, and you'll be amazed at how well you may find yourself rewarded for these simple acts.

Share this post


Link to post
I think she might want to watch the documentary on swinging that she saw with me, she did not say 'watch it without me I already saw it' so I am hoping this weekend we can sit down and have a few drinks and watch it together and maybe discuss it a little bit. I know she liked the Playboy channel "Swing" series last year. We had the playboy channel for a few months and were recording all of those shows. She said she liked watching those episodes.

 

I am trying to take it slow for both our sakes, and I feel that all my talk about my fantasy has made her a little curious and like you say 'in her own way' she is slowly starting to think about it more and more. I have tried to get her to tell me what fantasies she has and she always tells me she doesn't really have any fantasies...however, last week she finally said she thought she could try to fantasize about this one guy, in this Erica Lust porn we have, fucking her while I fuck her with this realistic dildo we bought awhile back. So we did that. She seems to be slowly opening up to the idea of some other guy fucking her. Like I said though, she has always been open to having sex with another girl.

 

Like I had mentioned, it went pretty far with that male stripper in Vegas. The guy was basically fingering her, or playing with her clit with his hand and she was jerking him off! She was so turned on by the whole situation! I really think there is something there with my wife, I just need to give it some time to develop.

I think this is a pretty big step, and a lot to consider so she is just trying to figure out where I am coming from with this fantasy and sometimes she gets a little worried that I am not into her and I want to validate that she is an attractive person...which is not the case. The reason I want to do it is mainly because of the voyeur aspect of it all. I am thinking eventually why would she not want to do it? It seems like, as long as you know you love the person you are with and have no intentions of ever leaving that person, why wouldn't the idea of having sex with another person turn you on? If my wife told me it was her fantasy to see me fuck another girl in front of her that would blow my mind and I would be super turned on by that! I would just want to make sure that she wouldn't be mad at me and want to leave me afterwards...I would never want to lose her for anything.

 

It sounds that you are half way there! She seems to have a little "Raunchiness" already in her. I say keep encourging her to act out some her fantasies. Just be patient and also really show you love her and she is the only one you fantasize about and don't her or you get hung up on the small stuff! enjoy each other and have fun. But once again let her control the tempo. Because you are already there sexually you just want to get her on the same sexual level as you.

Share this post


Link to post
It sounds that you are half way there! She seems to have a little "Raunchiness" already in her. I say keep encourging her to act out some her fantasies. Just be patient and also really show you love her and she is the only one you fantasize about and don't her or you get hung up on the small stuff! enjoy each other and have fun. But once again let her control the tempo. Because you are already there sexually you just want to get her on the same sexual level as you.

 

 

Sounds like great advice. I will continue to let her take the lead and try to balance that with still telling her about my fantasy.

 

Funny thing happened this weekend! We were talking over dinner together about hanging out with her friend sometime soon, a cute blonde girl she used to be roommates with when we first met. So this blonde girl has not had a boyfriend or any sexual encounter in the 5+ years I have known her, and my wife even suspects she may still be a virgin...this girl is 34. She is good looking, nice body, friendly and pretty face...we don't understand why she hasn't been getting laid or dating anyone.

 

The last several times we have hung out with her she, and we, all kind of flirt with each other in a playful way. So over dinner this weekend my wife was saying that this girl needs to get laid and that I should eat her pussy like I eat my wife's! She said I am a really generous lover and that is what this girl needs, especially if it is her 1st time! She said, "I don't know if I could watch it, but I could have a couple of beers in the next room while you guys do it". I was shocked! I told her I would never want to do anything that would make her feel bad. She said she was shocked that these words came out of her mouth, but I could tell she was kind of getting turned on by talking about this! She said she thinks this girl would want to fuck me more than her and that she thinks I am attracted to this girl also.

 

I just kept stressing that I have a fantasy to see HER fuck someone else, and I am not trying to fuck other people and would never want to hurt her or do anything to make her feel bad about us. I did admit that the thought of fucking her friend was a turn on though. She said "well I think you should take the lead the next time we hang out". I asked her what she meant and she just said "you know buy us some drinks" and I think she meant for me to flirt with this girl more next time also!

 

This was a big surprise for me!

Share this post


Link to post

Never say never , etc , but the husband using the wife's attractivness to valadate him is kind of a double reverse thing , and is not a frequent motavation. The idea of her having pleasure , and watching are much more common. As to wether as a side effect it would give a confidence boost to the woman I'll leave to our female members to kick around.

 

But once again , you need to put the specific goal of MFM/ FM watching on the back burner now. You need to work on communicating generally. Work around to what she finds interesting to contemplate. Explore the idea of playing with other people generally. Maybe she is most open to some other combination. Maybe this is an idea that works best as fantasies or role playing. Maybe as her horizons expand it will look different to her later.

Share this post


Link to post
I just kept stressing that I have a fantasy to see HER fuck someone else, and I am not trying to fuck other people and would never want to hurt her or do anything to make her feel bad about us.

 

I've been wondering something since I first read this. Is it possible that you're so focused on your own fantasy that you're not really listening to your wife? You want her to fuck another man but, when presented with a possible opportunity with another woman, you say you'd "never want to hurt her or do anything to make her feel bad, etc." Even if she didn't already have that fear that being with another man would cause you to feel differently about her, you introduced the idea that outside sex might potentially cause bad feelings within your relationship if you did it.

 

In addition, she appears to be giving you the opportunity to be sexual with someone else and yet the two of you don't really talk about it enough for you to know precisely what your wife means.

 

I wish this all didn't raise red flags, but it really does. I know how persistent fantasies can be, but the pursuit of them can't be a driving force within a healthy relationship unless the fantasies are shared. Is there any chance you can just let your fantasy of your wife with another man go for now and work instead on really talking together about what turns you both on, what scares you and how far you're both willing to go?

 

In answer to your original question, my wish to see Mr. Doe with other women approaches the level of a kink, but it has nothing to do with his being desirable or having his desirability validated by anyone else. Until I read "Sex at Dawn," which I would recommend for both of you, the closest I could get to an explanation is that it made me happy to see him with others and turned me on. The book and its research clarified a lot for me and maybe it will do the same for the two of you as well.

Share this post


Link to post
I've been wondering something since I first read this. Is it possible that you're so focused on your own fantasy that you're not really listening to your wife? You want her to fuck another man but, when presented with a possible opportunity with another woman, you say you'd "never want to hurt her or do anything to make her feel bad, etc." Even if she didn't already have that fear that being with another man would cause you to feel differently about her, you introduced the idea that outside sex might potentially cause bad feelings within your relationship if you did it.

 

In addition, she appears to be giving you the opportunity to be sexual with someone else and yet the two of you don't really talk about it enough for you to know precisely what your wife means.

 

I wish this all didn't raise red flags, but it really does. I know how persistent fantasies can be, but the pursuit of them can't be a driving force within a healthy relationship unless the fantasies are shared. Is there any chance you can just let your fantasy of your wife with another man go for now and work instead on really talking together about what turns you both on, what scares you and how far you're both willing to go?

 

In answer to your original question, my wish to see Mr. Doe with other women approaches the level of a kink, but it has nothing to do with his being desirable or having his desirability validated by anyone else. Until I read "Sex at Dawn," which I would recommend for both of you, the closest I could get to an explanation is that it made me happy to see him with others and turned me on. The book and its research clarified a lot for me and maybe it will do the same for the two of you as well.

 

The reason I told her 'I would never want to do anything to hurt her or make her feel uncomfortable' is because we have discussed this in the past, me being with another woman and she has told me that she would not want that, it would make her feel too jealous...so I have always told her that is fine, I respect that and I don't have to do anything with another girl, I am okay with that. She has said, in discussions we have had, that it IS a turn on for her to think about fucking another girl and recently she has admitted the thought of fucking another man would be a turn on also though it would be a little weird she thinks..."might feel like cheating". This last weekend she admitted that it was getting her wet to think about having another person in our bed. So I think we are discussing all of this more and more in our own way and it was a big surprise to me, and to her, to hear her say she wanted me to fuck her friend. The fact that she said she 'wouldn't want to watch and would have a couple beers in the other room while it happened' made me think that this is something that would make her feel bad or jealous if it were to actually happen, that is why I was telling her I wouldn't want to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable. If she truly would enjoy me doing that, then I would have no hesitations.

Share this post


Link to post
Never say never , etc , but the husband using the wife's attractivness to valadate him is kind of a double reverse thing , and is not a frequent motavation. The idea of her having pleasure , and watching are much more common. As to wether as a side effect it would give a confidence boost to the woman I'll leave to our female members to kick around.

 

But once again , you need to put the specific goal of MFM/ FM watching on the back burner now. You need to work on communicating generally. Work around to what she finds interesting to contemplate. Explore the idea of playing with other people generally. Maybe she is most open to some other combination. Maybe this is an idea that works best as fantasies or role playing. Maybe as her horizons expand it will look different to her later.

 

We are communicating more and more about this, outside of the bedroom. She seems to be opening up to the idea of having someone else in our bed more and more. She had a dream about it a couple of weeks ago, where another guy was fucking her and I was watching and she said it turned her on and she was wet when she woke up. This last weekend she said the thought of inviting another person into our bed was making her wet, when we were talking about her friend. She was actually trying to hit on this one really hot blonde at the bar this last weekend, she bought her a beer. It didn't work out but she told me she really wanted to fuck her. So I think we are getting to the point of actually doing something.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By HotwifeHusband
      Sue and I both decided to take the part-time jobs as there were only two months left in the semester.  For the next eight Saturdays I bussed tables while she waited on tables in short shorts and an apron from the waist down.  It was an incredible experience that would make me hard watching the number of guys that got to see her 34C tits and light-colored nipples.  And that would last for 4 hours every Saturday. 
       
      As we were coming to our last Saturday of the semester and subsequent return to our home state I thought it would be cool to let the guys of our dorm know about the job she had had the previous two months.  Initially some of them were in disbelief but didn't want to miss out on seeing her tits as many had probably imagined what they looked like since she was primarily braless during the semester. 
       
      On the way to work on her final Saturday I told her to expect some surprise visitors.  She gave me that look of "now what did you do?" and I told her.  After some make believe "I can't believe you did that!" she settled in with the realization that she would be seeing a number of guys she had gotten to know, and more importantly, they would now actually see her naked breasts for the first time. 
       
      Sure enough about 12 guys from the dorm came in, a few of which were friends and not even from our dorm.  After the initial uncomfortableness she became totally at ease with the situation and didn't mind the outright staring at her boobs. 
       
      Little did I know what this would evolve into, until our following Junior school year as we went on another student exchange program to a school in northern California.  Sue and I ended up in different dorms but I had become friends with Dan who lived on the floor above me.  He was a senior and had a single room.  The three of us were listening to music and just visiting in his room one night and Dan dropped a deck of cards on a table and asked, "Want to play cards?"  He and I had preplanned this and I responded with, "All I know how to play is poker."  Sue replied she knew Crazy 8's.  Dan said, "I dare you guys to play strip poker."  Sue looked at me and said, "Be honest with me - you guys have already talked about this, haven't you?"  I replied, "Honestly, yes - how'd you know?"  She just shook her head and said, "Who is dealing first?"  I immediately started getting hard and Sue gave me this look that I didn't quite understand.
       
      Eventually we were all down to our underwear with Sue having a bra on (for some reason) and panties.  She then lost a hand and as she stood up to unclasp her bra from the front I told her to stop.  Sue asked "why?" to which Dan replied with a laugh "yeah, why?".  I then said that part of the game at this point is that the guys got to take her bra off as slow as we wanted.  I'm guessing the beer we had been drinking had something to do with it but Sue willingly smiled and said "guys are perverts" and put her hands to her sides. 
       
      Dan and I each took one side of the clasp in the front of her bra and slowly unhooked it and dragged our hands across each tit.  Sue was now letting Dan feel her up and was actually getting into it.  After about 15 seconds or so she said that was enough and time to deal another hand. 
       
      So the three of us were now all sitting on the bed with Dan and I having obvious hard-on's and Sue's nipples were erect.  The next hand Sue also lost and as she stood up, Dan and I also stood up and said, "We get to take these off."  I asked Dan, "Do you want the front or the back?" (knowing full well he would take the front). 
       
      As we pulled her panties down, Dan slowly ran his middle finger down the slit of Sue's cunt, and then right back up it.  She said that was enough, but that it was our turn to lose our underwear to end the game.  We told her the game was over as she had lost all her clothes.  She jokingly said that it wasn't fair.  I then said, "I tell you what, we'll play one more hand and if you win, we'll take our underwear off, but if you lose the hand since you're already naked, you have to lie down on the bed and Dan and I can use our hands only on you." 
       
      She didn't fight that idea at all and simply said, "For how long?"  I said, "We'll draw a card from the deck and whatever the card is it would be for that amount of time in minutes, face cards would be ten minutes, Aces would be 15 minutes,  but the Queen of Spades would be an hour." I has said the last one as I envisioned that card looking a little like her pussy. 
       
      Unfortunately the card she picked from the deck was a 6 so for the next six minutes Dan and I were feeling her tits and pussy.  Dan tried to insert his finger in her cunt and she said that wasn't part of the game.  With that the night ended and Sue and I went back to our respective rooms.  The next day when I saw Sue I told her I had trouble sleeping as I kept thinking about what had happened.  She admitted the same thing and said she was surprised at how  much it turned her on as she was thinking about it in bed.  I had been worried a little bit that she was going to wake up the next day and be mad about it.  Little did I know it was just the beginning and within a couple of weeks things were about to change.
       
      A couple weeks later Dan talked to me about the upcoming spring break.  He had his own car and was thinking about going down to visit Tijuana, San Diego, and then hitting the tourist spots in Hollywood and trying to see the Tonight Show live.  He had a proposition for me that he was hoping Sue and I would go along with.  Sue and I were planning on staying on campus as we didn't have a car.  He offered to pay for all the gas in his car and also he would pay for the hotel rooms wherever we stayed if for the entire week Sue would be willing to act as if she had two boyfriends the entire time, including having sex with him. 
       
      The idea alone got my mind racing and I immediately told him I was definitely good with it and that I'd talk with Sue.  When I told Sue she was initially surprised that Dan would suggest such a thing but with a nervous smile she said, "I'm not going to say yes, but I'm not going to say no," and to give her a day to think about it. 
       
      The next day she said she only had one question for me and that was if I was sure that I'd be ok with it and that if she at any time got too uncomfortable with it, that we could stop it and pay our fair share.  I enthusiastically said that wouldn't be a problem and that I was excited to see what it would be like.  When I told Dan her response he was obviously very excited as well but he felt it was important for us to get together in his room the night before spring break started just to make sure Sue was still ok with everything and to talk things out.
       
      The night before we were to leave Sue and I went up to Dan's room and it was obvious everyone was a little nervous and there was some nervous chit chat until Dan finally broke the ice and said, "Look, I don't want us to get to Tijuana and Sue gets cold feet or that she feels pressure for the rest of the week to do anything."  With that he looked at Sue and said, "Can I kiss you?" 
       
      Sue said, "I guess we might as well find out now before we've driven 12 hours to Mexico," and she went up to Dan and started making out with him.  Within seconds he was taking off her clothes and laying her on the bed.  As he was feeling her up, he then slid his hand onto her pussy and said, "If you want to fuck me during the week, spread your legs right now and raise your hips." 
       
      Sue looked over to me for approval and with that she spread her legs and tilted up at the hips.  Dan stood up and pulled his shorts down.  He told her to grab his cock and to slowly slide it in her but that he wanted her to tell him something...and with that, as Sue slid him inside her moist cunt, she said, "This pussy is going to be just as much yours all week." 
       
      Dan told her that he wanted to own it all week and Sue stared directly in his eyes and replied, "I want you to own it, I want both of you to own all of me." And with that, we left the next day for Mexico.
       


       
    • By HotwifeHusband
      My girlfriend was raised in a very strict family.  We started dating our junior year in high school.  She was/is a beautiful blond with blue eyes and a fantastic body. 
       
      Although she had previous boyfriends I was the first to feel her up.  By the time we went to college she was ready to be away from parental supervision.  This was back in the 1970s where it was fairly common to see tube tops and bralessness.  Her college roommate seldom wore a bra and when it was time for the first dorm party of the year I dared her to be braless.  Little did I know that this would be the start of an exciting number of years. 
       
      She wore a thin yellow tube top.  Although it wasn't sheer, I (and everyone else) could tell she was braless.  Later on that night she told me it was kind of exciting catching guys looking at her boobs. 
       
      Our school had a student exchange program and we both talked to our parents about going to the U of Miami for one semester.  Not surprisingly her parents said "no" as they wanted to see how her grades would be during her freshman year. 
       
      Our sophomore year she finally got permission from her parents.  We went during the 2nd semester.  In Florida, braless is pretty much the normal look and she seldom wore one. 
       
      There was a posting in our dorm looking for a female model for an event for Undercoverwear.  Undercoverwear was similar to Fredericks of Hollywood.  A woman sold Undercoverwear the way you would sell Tupperware, except it was lingerie.  I told Sue I thought it would be kind of fun doing something like that but only if I could go. 
       
      Sue contacted the woman looking for a female model and met with her.  The "event" was going to be at a community hall that she had rented and the attendance would be exclusively for males.  The expectation was Sue would wear a variety of lingerie but there was no nudity required. She'd also get paid $100 for about 2 hours of work, and I could go. 
       
      When we got there Sue was taken into a back room where there was a rack full of lingerie sorted out according to the level of sexiness and sheerness.  There were about 20 guys sitting at round tables of 5 that she'd have to walk around like she was on a catwalk so they could see what the outfits looked like. 
       
      Sue had come out in a variety of sexy teddy's and negligees.  After the first couple outfits, the clothes became more revealing.  Toward the end she came out in an outfit that although not totally sheer you could see a hint of her nipples.  All the guys started clapping as she did her walk around all the tables. 
       
      It was now the end of the "fashion show" and the guys started chanting for her to come out one more time.  The woman running it came up to me and told me that Sue wanted to see me in the back room before the show was officially over. 
       
      I went into the back room and Sue could tell I had really enjoyed everything.  Sue then pulled off a "harem outfit" that was the furthest one on the clothes rack, indicating it was the most revealing.  She said she was fine putting it on as the last outfit if I was OK with her wearing it in front of all the guys.  I said, "Are you kidding me, I'd love it."  I then walked back to my table and the woman announced that Sue was coming out with one more outfit to end the night and asked for the guys to finalize their order sheets but that they may want to wait for the last outfit to add to their orders. 
       
      Sue then walked out in a light pink harem outfit that was totally sheer exposing her breasts and nipples as if she was topless.  The guys went crazy.  They started yelling "tits for tips" and with that Sue looked at me and with a sly grin I nodded my head and she proceeded to take her top down and did a final walk around each table being completely topless.  When she got back to the room she was changing in, the woman walked in and handed her another fifty dollars in tips and said she had done a great job. 
       
      As Sue and I were walking out to head back to the dorm a man who was at the fashion show was waiting for us and said that he owned a restaurant and if we both were looking to make a few extra dollars he could use us for about 4 hours every Saturday from noon to 4pm.  The restaurant was called "R Donuts".  The job for me would be to buss tables, and for Sue it would be as a topless waitress (hence the "R" Donut name). We told him we'd think about it. 
       
      See part 2 as this story of the journey from shyness to hotwife continues.
    • By Wendans
      My fantasy has always been to watch my wife get fucked by another man. We have been with another woman before which is a whole story in itself that I’ll tell you about later.
       
      One night several years ago my wife and I had gone to a club. Not your ordinary club, but a good club for swingers and singles. The night had started out rather slow and we were not finding any action that I had hoped. My wife knows what she wants and that is what we go with. And that night we found what she wanted and it was such a great experience she knew she wanted to do it again. She had gotten fucked by a black guy and she had enjoyed it. So, when we got the chance, she wanted to try it again.
       
      Being at a swinger’s club isn’t really her thing, but fucking in front of people or listening to them fuck is a big turn-on for her. Since we don’t live close to any swingers’ clubs or anything of that nature, we don’t get many opportunities to do anything like this.
       
      A couple of years ago we got a chance to go to another club. Yes, one of those clubs. We were looking for a little fun and hoping to find something as good as the last time we were out. We talked to many people as the night went on and my wife was trying to figure out what we were going to be doing to have fun that night. There was a hot blonde that was interested in us and kept on grabbing my cock which my wife was loving because this was getting her going. My wife and I decided that this was not what we had in mind for tonight, so we just kind of let that slide and we went on to pursue something else. She said she would know it when she saw it.
       
      My wife had put a couple of drinks down and was feeling pretty good now. She was a little more daring and said she wanted to go change outfits like she did when we had been to a club previously. We had brought the very same sexy outfit that was see through, so she went and changed into it. When she came back out, there was not one guy's eyes on anyone but her. Even the women were looking on in awe. She is a beautiful woman that knows how to control a room.
       
      One guy came up to me and told me he was jealous. He said he would do anything to get to fuck my wife, but she just didn’t feel right with him, I guess. As we were standing around, in came this well-built younger black guy and I think she almost came right there. The look on her face was almost mind blowing. She got this horny grin and told me she was ready to start our night. As he walked by her, she gave him this dirty smile and took her hand and rubbed down by her cunt. He stopped walking and came over to her and asked if he could help her with anything. She just smiled and said that I think you already know what you can do. They danced around a little bit, but I could tell she couldn’t take it anymore, so she quickly unzipped his pants and took out his cock and grabbed it and lead him into another room like a dog on a leash.
       
      I stayed back a couple of minutes to give them some time to get to know each other. When I did finally get to the other room, they had already undressed and she was sucking his cock. It was larger than mine. Not much longer, but thicker. I could tell she liked it.
       
      My wife had picked a room where people would be able to watch if they wanted to. I stayed back in the wings and was kind of hidden so she really didn’t know I was even there.  As I watched my wife in action, I could tell she was enjoying every second of this guy’s cock. She was sucking it like there was no tomorrow.
       
      Now it was his turn to return the favor. He got his face down to her pussy and started licking like it was candy. She was turning red and I could tell she was already about to cum. She was squirming and shaking and he was getting her cunt all ready for his big shaft. But before he fucked her, he now spread her legs out and started fingering her pussy to the point that she started squirting fluids all over the sheet they were laying on. It was like the flood gates had opened up and all the juices were flowing.
       
      She finally had all she could take because I’m sure she had cum multiple times already and I could tell she just wanted to have him inside her. I heard her say to give me your big, black cock. He asked her if she wanted him to put on a condom and she told him no, she wanted to feel him inside her cunt.
       
      He took her and spread her legs wide and slowly inserted his bbc into her tight cunt. She told him to go slowly because she said it was so big that she needed to get used to it. After several minutes of the slow movement, she said she needed him to fuck her harder so he started to go full penetration into her dripping wet cunt. She was telling him how good his cock felt, and how she loved fucking him.
       
      They switched positions multiple times with her sitting on top of his cock and riding him like she has never ridden before. My wife took his whole cock inside of her as deeply as she could, rubbing back and forth and cumming time and time again.
       
      They finally switched back to missionary style and were fucking hard when I heard her say to him, she wanted him to cum in her pussy. She said she wanted to feel his cum drip out of her pussy all night long. When he heard her say that, he started to pick up the pace and finally started moaning and said he was about to cum. My wife was now cumming herself and as he shot his load inside of her, she started squirming and shaking with every pulse of his exploding cock. Her body was red from all of her orgasms, and I could tell she was getting worn out. They had gone for almost 40 minutes of nonstop action. Not to mention that all the other people that had gathered around to watch started going to other parts of the place as they had gotten a show that they would remember forever.
       
      When he pulled his now soft cock out of my wife, I could see the cum dripping down her ass. She was getting what she wanted, I guess. She would be able to feel his cum dripping out of her the rest of the night. But I didn’t realize that she was not done yet. She wanted more. My wife took his cock and started sucking on it again. I guess he was young enough that almost instantly he got hard and she took his cock and guided it into her cunt and said she needed more of his cum. He fucked her for another 10 minutes until he exploded with more cum inside my wife’s pussy again. Again, as I watched the cum drip down her ass, she was getting what she wanted. She was going to feel this the rest of the night.
       
      They both started cleaning up a little and I slowly came out of the crowd that had gathered. She saw me and gave me that dirty little smile she sometimes gets. My wife asked me if I had enjoyed her show. She said she needed to have a little more cum in her pussy tonight and she now wanted mine. Her new little friend just kind of sat back in the corner and decided to watch us.
       
      I knew I wouldn’t last long because I had almost cum multiple times just watching her. With some of the crowd still watching I got undressed, and slid my wet with pre-cum cock into my wife’s cum-loaded pussy. I fucked her until she started cumming. Her cunt convulsed so hard that it squeezed my cock and made me start to cum. I came in her pussy, mixing my cum with my wife’s new fuck buddies cum. I pulled my cock out and watched it all slowly slide down her ass. She got up and went over to our young fuck buddy and she gave him a long passionate kiss and said thank you for such a great time. He gave her one last little finger fucking and handed her a card of his if we were ever in the area again.
       
      He left after he got dressed and we got cleaned up and went out to the main room. I had multiple people including women and even the bartender say that my wife was one of the women they would like to fuck if they ever got a chance after seeing her in action. I guess I’m the lucky one here.
       
      Later that night when we were driving to our resort, she slipped her hand down pants and put her fingers in her pussy. She brought them out and rubbed them on my face. She smiled and said we gotta do this again sometime as we pulled into the parking lot to call it a night.
       
      And what a night it was.
    • By KatrinaandDriverX
      For me, it's not about having sex or sex acts or multiple partners. It is about 'feeding' different aspects of my personality, occasionally, in diverse ways with sex. It transcends role playing, it's a sexual moment as I'm giving, yielding, engaging and driving my partner(s) into an exquisite moment. To build them up, for the men to enter me in a pure moment that thrills or kissing a woman with tongues plunging deeply. I love it when someone I may have just met can surrender to me and I to them. Then, once we're done that it's perfectly alright to go to the next partner and, who knows, have that same person again later that night (or not). Or, if it's simply to play with another couple, have the sex with the husband be so great that the wife thanks me. Then, of course, there's the knowledge of my husband having another girl, whether it be a wife  or innocent bystander, knowing she just might be asking herself if watching me fuck means my husband must be amazing (he is). 
    • By English Flames
      I have a fantasy of being pegged by my wife at say, a swinger house party, with the door open or some how on display for passerby’s to watch. My only concern is whether this would be considered disrespectful or against an unspoken etiquette? I can understand it’s not for everyone.
×
×
  • Create New...