My boyfriend wants to share me with a woman, but I don't know how bi I am...

[R_Cowgirl 15]

My boyfriend and I have been swinging for about six months. We're both SUPER kinky, and can't get enough sex. We both love anal, strap-on sex (me on him), all kinds of positions in my vag and ass, BJs (I am a BJ FIEND!), new locations, nipple and breast play, watching porn together, spanking, roleplay, bondage -- you name it. We're also very communicative with each other about our sex life. He's fully bi, and loves sharing me with both men and women. When we're at clubs or parties, and also when we've met people to join us at home, we've always had MFM play, or MFT. He's REALLY interested in sharing me with a woman, and I am, too, in theory -- but I've never been with a woman before. The most I've done is kissed another woman and sucked her breasts, but only a couple of times, and nothing (not even touching) below the belt.

 

I love looking at sexy women, both clothed and naked, and I love watching porn. But I've never fantasized about being with a woman, and I don't know what to do to please another woman. I'm not very good at bringing myself to orgasm with manual clitoral or vaginal stimulation -- I usually use toys on myself, or fuck my boyfriend to get off -- so I'm worried that my skill level would disappoint another woman. I am nervous about two things: a) I might not do a good job of pleasing the other woman, and b) I don't know if I will enjoy having sex with women in the first place. I'm hoping that I will enjoy it, because before I met my boyfriend, I didn't think I'd ever like anal, and now I LOVE it -- so I know that just because I haven't fantasized about being with a woman before doesn't mean I won't like it. My biggest qualm about engaging in an FMF threesome is that I am exploring not only a new sex act, but also my very sexuality itself -- I don't know if I'm bi, bi-curious, heteroflexible, or just straight and REALLY kinky.

 

Can any women gives me tips about what kinds of sexy and pleasurable things I can do with a woman, either alone or with a man?

 

Can any women help me assuage my fear of popping my girl-on-girl cherry? Were you nervous your first time with a woman? Should I look for a woman with whom I can play by myself, while my boyfriend just watches, so I can get comfortable with my sexuality before he and I share a woman together?

 

Thank you for your support!!!

[slevin 1,374]

Are you interested in being with another woman, but just nervous about it? Or are the nerves because you're not sure you actually want to be with a woman?

 

If it's the former then I'd say the best approach would be to find a girl who you're comfortable with and be honest with her. Tell her that you're eager and excited, but that you have never been with a woman and don't really know what to do. If you find a girl who you're comfortable with then the two of you can explore together, and perhaps she can teach you a few things. I think the important thing is to not try and pretend you're an expert. Just be honest about not knowing what to do, ask for direction and have fun.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I'll get to your actual questions in a moment, but I did want to address the sexual identity question first. You will eventually settle on a descriptor for yourself that works, at least in the short term, but it's not something you need to rush. Having sex with another woman doesn't automatically make you anything except exploratory and you can stay in exploration land for as long as you like, postponing a decision until you find something that fits.

 

Can any women gives me tips about what kinds of sexy and pleasurable things I can do with a woman, either alone or with a man?

 

The landscape of a woman's body isn't radically different than that of a man, surprisingly enough. Softer, with an innie instead of an outie, but creating the arc of desire is similar. So, kissing, sucking, licking, stroking, all are like enough that it probably won't feel totally alien to you. Also, your inability to get yourself off manually doesn't have anything to do with your ability to do so for/with another woman (I bore myself when I try, so I don't bother, but I love getting someone else off). Plus, ask what she likes and whether something you're doing feels good.

 

Can any women help me assuage my fear of popping my girl-on-girl cherry? Were you nervous your first time with a woman? Should I look for a woman with whom I can play by myself, while my boyfriend just watches, so I can get comfortable with my sexuality before he and I share a woman together?

 

I don't think I was old enough to be nervous, so my experience won't help you, but one of our playmates has been really unsure about her skill with women. I think being with someone willing to be open about what feels good and why what she's doing is working has been helpful for her, but she really had no reason for concern. I think the only truly necessary qualities are the desire to please and the empathy to feel something of what the other person is experiencing.

 

As to whether your first venture should be a solo or a duet, are you turned on/off by or are you neutral about the idea of sharing a partner with your boyfriend? That's where you'll find your answer.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Think about what you enjoy when a man does it to you, then try to replicate those feelings on the woman you are with. What movements of his mouth/tongue on you do you enjoy? That's the best you can do and be open to suggestion / communication from her about how to please her (understanding we are all different). Another thought is to have your guy show you (on another woman) how he pleases you (or her) and then you try to do the same.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

The first time I went down on a woman I asked her husband to show me what she likes. I got my face right next to his and paid really close attention. Then I took over and it went great. She said she couldn't believe it was my first time.

 

After that I wanted to know more. I like to read and research so I got the book, She Comes First It was helpful and I kind of get off on the intellectual/sexual thing. I just got the book Blow Each Other Away which has ideas for going down on women and men.

[Just Passing By 140]

I'm not a woman , and Mrs JPB (unbenownst to me in advance ) had biexperence before we met. But have also known highly sexual women who simply had no intrest in playing with other women.

 

If you're not into it , that's fine. You seem already well ahead of the curve sexually , and everybody doesn't need to check off every single box. If you decide you wish to try *somthing* you can still at anytime decide to the effect : that was interesting to try , but I've gotten it out of my system now , thank you.

 

Just to cover the options , you could have FMF where each woman interacts with him , but not each other.

 

All that said , if you decide to testdrive girl/ girl , the two basic aproaches are : The other woman knows the situation , and you are in the driver's seat of engaging with her at your pace. Or conversely , the other woman initially takes the lead , and you follow along with her lead. You can guess at your preference based upon your tastes in M/F activities , but it's not nesecarily the same in new territory , and you won't know until you're there.