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I'm not handling it as well as I thought I would. Wife: suck it up, I like the guy and want to do it again. BTW, readers, fellow sends chatty emails every week. This bugs me.

 

What do I do? I am uncomfortable now with solo play. I don't deal with it as well as I thought I could. Am I being selfish? She isn't going to run off with other fellow, it's just that I don't want to share unless we're playing as a couple. I changed my mind. I don't want some other fellow sending emails and trying to be my wife's "buddy".

She say's I'm controlling. Resents that. Say's I had my fun and now it's her turn, sorry how you feel. I ask when will it end, when you have 3 more times alone? She say's not sure, maybe more...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

 

Am I screwed up? I want to be fair but....?

 

2luvs

 

Bear in mind here that I haven't read any of the numerous posts on this. I'm just responding to 2luvs' original post.

 

It sounds to me like your wife is the one being a little selfish here. This is impacting you negatively and from your post it appears this doesn't affect her much. I think this has become a problem because you're both focusing on "levelling the table". You're both keeping score (he gets solo play two times, I get solo play at least two times...). Scorekeeping can only get nasty. Maybe she should "suck it up" and get over the fact that you can't always get what you want. If she was a guy, she'd have been accused of letting the little head do the thinking for the big head. No questions asked.

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twoloves

 

Truly my heart goes out to you but I also have thank you for the advice and lessons that cost you so dearly which might help cover the pitfalls so others in the lifestyle will not fall into them.

 

I quote

 

“If there are any lessons in this sad tale it is this: Don't ever go solo. Always play together. It may be separate room but make sure you're under the same roof. If there is any sign of emotional involvement, don't walk, RUN the other way. Always commit to going as slow as the slowest spouse.”

 

For this I thank you while at the same time I wish it wouldn’t have cost you so much. My prayers go with you and may you find happiness. God bless you friend

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I think he and others are waiting for the outcome. I know after reading it I sure hope twoloves makes a post.

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Merric,

 

Do you realize this tread was started in the year 2003?

 

Actually I didn't so thanks for pointing that out. While as Mr Truelove also pointed out I'm hoping for closure. But I have to guess since it was so long back we'll probably never know. Anyway again thanks for the heads up. Guess I better look for the dates these thread start.

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And now we just got sucked into this saga...lol

At least the profile says he, she or they were last on this week. So maybe we can get "the rest of the story."

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I would side with the wife here.. if she feels the need to solo let her do it.. she is feeling a need to fufill and if she leaves you for the other guy, it shows her true colors and you'll be better off for it. If you have been playing solo, why can't she? Keep the hipocracy out of it. Let the chips fall where they may. If she loves you she won't leave you and you should know this.

 

Let her play, and look at this as a great opportunity for your personal growth. I think you both will be fine. I see a happy ending here.

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You're not Swinging, you're negotiating. You're negotiating to get sex the way you want to have it, and more importantly, you're negotiating with your wife for her to have sex the way you want her too, also.

 

Lot's of control, not a whole lot of fun.

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