Single female who wants to swing - first club visit

[sexysinglet 15]

Hello! I am a very sexually open female in her early 30s who is looking to add some spice to her life. Oh yeah, and I'm single! I've participated in a couple of threesomes and have really enjoyed the group aspect. I also love showing off. Going to a swingers club just makes sense for me, I think. I've never been to one before and found one that I'd like to check out.

 

I'm a little nervous because I will likely be going alone and don't really know what to expect. I'm very attractive, so I don't have a big fear of rejection. I'm curious to hear from other single females, as to what their experiences were, so I can get an idea of things to expect, look out for, etc. I'm a very sexual person and look forward to being in an environment that is welcoming to that.

[2fitfunsters 32]

We wish you were in Arizona!!!

[sexysinglet 15]

lol I'm only an 8 hour drive away.

[CalendarGirl 148]

Welcome my sexy swinging sistah! I to am a mythical unicorn! However, don't buy the hype! I have not found that the "unicorn" is more sought after than any other wildlife in the lifestyle! I've been told I'm very attractive but have yet to be approached at a swing club. To be fair, I have not approached anyone at a swing club either, I'm still a bit too nervous to do that. I've never gone alone to the club, usually with a group or another female, which some suggest is part of the problem. However, I feel completely safe at the club. I've been to two clubs at least a half dozen times each and have only seen one person break a rule, he touched without asking permission. He was escorted out and banned for life in the blink of an eye. If you are willing to make "first contact" you should do fine. Everyone I've met at the clubs have been warm, inviting, witty and open. Despite my utter lack of luck I continue to go because I love the people and the atmosphere. Some clubs have "fan" boards so check to see if yours does. Then you can post a message that you'll be there and perhaps you can chat with others in advance. Also some ad sites (SLS, SZC, etc) list events and clubs in the area where people RSVP that they are attending. Again, this gives you an opportunity to reach out to other singles or couples in advance. Typically when it's your first time at the club the host for the evening or the owner will give you a tour and maybe introduce you to some people.

 

Also, I am co-hosting a chat here tomorrow evening at 8p ET and the topic will be how us singles can successfully approach couples. Come join us! Hopefully the wonderful couples on this board will join us and give us some tips on how to be successful unicorns!

 

Have a great time! Come back and let us know how it went. Also, feel free to private message me if you have any other questions, concerns, etc.

[BeStylnIT 114]

I know you asked for females to respond back but I've wondered what it would be like for a single female in my shoes. Just go! It will all work out, promise if a single man can go so can you

Keep this updated please...

[sexysinglet 15]

Thanks for the responses! Sorry I missed the chat, I'm on PST and wasn't off of work until late. I'm going to call the club owners tomorrow for a brief interview and will hopefully cover any local topics with them. I also spoke with a friend of mine today, who I found out has gone to swinger clubs, and was told I'll have absolutely no problem finding fun. I guess I'm curious, being single, as to how groupings typically happen. I've only done FMF but have always wanted to do MFM. I don't know if this is a realistic expectation since I won't have a guy with me to swap off on with another's partner.

 

I really can't wait though, I'm quite the exhibitionist, so the idea of being around other people is a total turn-on. The event isn't until next weekend but I will definitely report on how it went.

[CalendarGirl 148]

You should have no trouble finding an MFM as the clubs are usually rife with single males! I'm a bit of an exhibitionist myself and the club is great for that!

 

Can't wait to hear how much fun you have!

[sexysinglet 15]

The club I have in mind is couples only and single females on Saturdays, when I'm going. Sundays they allow single males. The night that I'm going, they're having a masquerade party, which actually seems like a great ice breaker. I've already ordered my outfit to wear. Next weekend needs to hurry up!!

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

If you're attending the club only on nights with women and couples, your usual configurations will tend to be FMF and FMFM, with an occasional FM with the male half of a couple playing separately. It will be tougher to get an MFM on Saturdays. So, there's Sunday... Anyway, while I'm no longer single, I spent nearly three years attending a club as a solo woman. My experiences were overwhelmingly positive and I hope yours are too. My only real advice is to make friends with the staff, because they're your best allies and will be even more concerned for your well-being if they know and like you than they would be otherwise (and I can pretty much guarantee that club staff are very concerned about the well-being of everyone anyway).

[SwingerGirl 132]

Thanks for the post! I'm so glad I found it, and this forum!

 

I'm also a single female swinger and a newbie! I have had a few experiences with an ex-partner of mine, but now I'm all by my lonesome and so confused about where to being and what to expect. I have yet to have a play date with anyone since I decided to get back into the swing of things , but I have already run into situations that make me go huh? and pose a lot of questions.

 

Good Luck at the club! Keep us updated.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I did some time as a Single Female swinger. One thing I've noticed (from the couple side) is that often single females are somewhat invisible at clubs, they blend into all the couples and unless you just finally realize you haven't seen a particular guy with that girl at all, or someone tells you, you'd never know. In that case, it puts them/you at a bit of a disadvantage. Not only are you now just another female (that could be part of any couple), not knowing for sure if you are there with someone could actually cut down on your approachability (as some do feel it's uncouth to approach a lady when her man isn't present).

 

When I went as a single female I asked the hosts to introduce me to a couple inside, and they introduced me and so on. Everyone knew I was a single female and I did feel a bit like a piece of meat by the end of the night. Oddly, it was more from the ladies than the men "Oh you're bi?! Then let's go!" The men actually had more manners. I also found the hype was true online. However, while I was approached a lot online, I rarely felt comfortable meeting couples via that route. I actually felt safer in club situations.

 

My suggestion for single females venturing out is to do what I did and contact the club ahead of time. Ask them if they have a couple that they can introduce you to that will introduce you around. If your club offers meet & greets outside of the club, that is also a great way to go and meet a few people in a less "threatening" atmosphere. The feeling of walking in cold and not knowing anyone is scary as hell.

 

I'd say 70% of couples out there are at least passively looking for a single female, but if they don't know you are there they certainly aren't going to pursue you. It's almost as if you (the SF) needs a neon sign to say "I'm over here" at a club. We've encountered a few at various times at our local club and almost always I wouldn't have known. I usually end up asking her after realizing I haven't seen a guy with her. From what I've seen the ones that have the best luck are the ones that can get out of their box and go introduce themselves to those they would be interested in. I will just about guarantee that if you are willing to do that, you will go home happy at the end of the night.

 

While going to a party with friends is always easier, as a SF you end up falling into the same trap that us couples often do. You arrived with Mr & Mrs X and you end up sitting with them all night never really getting out of your comfort zone or meeting other people. If that's all you are going to do for the night, you could have saved yourselves some trouble and skipped the party and had a few extra hours of play with each other. The point of going to a party or a club is to meet new people. Don't be a wall-flower

 

I do think there is a happy medium.

[reedie 15]

I had to jump on here and relate my experience. I went to a club for New Years Eve by myself and had a great time. I am single and at the time was 43 years old. Before going though I did read about clubs and what to expect. I also went knowing what I wanted out of the evening. After the tour of the club I was introduced to some couples who then introduced me further to the people there and I was able to bring in the New Year with a bang!! LOL. I always felt comfortable never really pressured to do anything I wasn't into. My suggestion to any single women who is curious about the clubs is try it!!

[twistedpretzels 100]

We had two different single females contact us in the past few years before going to a house party and a club asking us to escort them in so they felt 'more like the group' and had a few friendly faces to retreat to in case they 'needed it'. There were no sexual expectations as we were just being supportive 'new contacts'. One fem we eventually did spend some time with but that was after we had known her awhile. If you let your hosts know you are new and maybe a bit nervous most people will go out of their way to introduce you to some couples or singles who are more than happy to hang out with you throughout the evening. Have fun!

[Solio 15]

Hello! I am a very sexually open female in her early 30s who is looking to add some spice to her life. Oh yeah, and I'm single! I've participated in a couple of threesomes and have really enjoyed the group aspect. I also love showing off. Going to a swingers club just makes sense for me, I think. I've never been to one before and found one that I'd like to check out.

 

I'm a little nervous because I will likely be going alone and don't really know what to expect. I'm very attractive, so I don't have a big fear of rejection. I'm curious to hear from other single females, as to what their experiences were, so I can get an idea of things to expect, look out for, etc. I'm a very sexual person and look forward to being in an environment that is welcoming to that.

 

We are very close!!!!! My husband and I we have been thinking a lot to get in the LS ! So we really want to go to one club and see how things work out I don't think we are ready yet, we will love to try FMF first! I'm on my late 20's he is 40 we are very attractive (sorry for saying this but it's true) we have been playing at strip clubs and watch him touch another woman it's a turn-on for both! But I'm still working on the full thing I want to be really sure I'm going to enjoy watching him doing everything with another woman, I think it will be nice me and another girl pleasing him! It's funny but I'm the one that talks about this all the time!

 

Now we as a couple have a lot of issues to take care of! But I think that you as a single lady just have to worry about pick the right couples! Be sure they both are ok with the threesome and it is going to be a nice experience for three (I know it's sound easy but it's not) if the couple is not sure about what they are doing it is going to be a hard experience for the three!

 

Maybe I'm not the right person to talk about this but I think that if a couple has too many rules it is not that fun anymore because you will be so worry about breaking rules!

 

You should be happy! There's not to many single girls in the LS so many couples are going after you once they know you are single! And the last word it's yours! Don't worry about going by yourself to a swingers club you will be more than fine. Read your post make me happy! It's nice to hear from a single woman in here!!! Good luck even though I know you don't need it

[sexysinglet 15]

I promised to come back with an update and update I shall! I went to my first event this past weekend and had an amazing time. The club that I went to had a very cool vibe to it, great energy, awesome people and I always felt safe. I did experience what a few of you mentioned, that a lot of people didn't know I arrived single. It didn't seem to matter though, as I got to experience lots of sexy people. I found it to be such an incredible charge just looking around and seeing others watching. If anything, I'm only sad that I didn't try this sooner! I walked in with a positive attitude and came out with an incredible experience. I can't wait to go again in a couple of weeks. I feel like I've found my calling. haha

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

I'm pleased to read that you had a good time at this club. If the club has a listing at this Web site's "Club Reviews" link, would you feel comfortable in adding a review of your own?