Signing up for every swinger event on weekends - don't do it

[DigginIt 1,132]

Do you have those couples/singles that every weekend, when you are deciding what to do, you notice they are signed up for every event within 50 miles? Don't be one of those couples. Make a freaking decision and pick one.

 

We know a few couples that do this and it really pisses us off because we don't know which event to go to avoid seeing them Just kidding, but we have asked and they tell us, well, we like to see what offers we are going to get from people signed up and make the best decision. Use the "hot date" or similar hook up options for that if you really want to get laid that weekend. The damn thing shows us people from 300 miles away. It will get your profile probably more attention.

 

There are always at least three or four couples, every event, signed up for every event. Don't be one of those couples! It just makes you look desperate but more importantly than that, the hosts use the sign-up lists to plan according, snacks, mixers, etc. Some more than others but if I was a host of an event and noticed people that did this...I'd have to block them.

 

Just our opinion.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Interesting. I had no idea people did this. I do know, however, from one event organizer that if you sign up too many times then never show, your name will be scratched from the list if you sign up again.

 

You are quite right in saying it is wrong for people to do this.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We know a few couples that do this and it really pisses us off because we don't know which event to go to avoid seeing them

 

Maybe they're trying to throw a curve ball at another couple that is being all stalky towards them, so they won't know which direction to go.

 

Seriously though, I get what you're saying though. It is bad form.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I can see how it can be a problem for hosts in charge of the event/party because a good headcount can be helpful to determine how much food/space/etc is needed. And it can be troublesome if you are trying to avoid a certain couple. But for the most part, we've learned that if we go and see them, then we see them. If not, then maybe next time. In our area, we have lots of people that sign up for multiple events in the same weekend/day and every weekend. Some of them actually do jump from one place to another and have loads of free time to go out all the time. Other times, there are couples that sign up but then they don't show up for various reasons.

 

I think on SLS, you can "certify" that a couple/person is attending the event if you know for sure. I've seen this mostly at events that require you to pre-pay. A lot of the parties that are held in our area, a formal invite is sent through Evite and the headcount is probably a lot more accurate than the SLS headcount where everyone and their mother can sign up. But I could be wrong...I've never hosted an event!

 

Another reason why couples might do this is to get their profile out there. When we took a break due to the holidays and other reasons, we barely had any emails come in. But once we signed up for a party, emails started popping in again. So, I know it can be annoying but there isn't just one reason why couples do that. And in case you're wondering, we only sign up for what we know we're going to.

[SwingerGirl 132]

I have mixed feelings about this. In my area there are 2 clubs that are literally 10 steps from each other. I have considered signing up for both events to see what response I get. I don't really consider it a problem as far as clubs go. The clubs usually only have about 5-10 people sign up for an event, yet WAY more actually show up- they don't use swing sites as their sole source of headcount. They will be there anyway, you BYOB, so in other words, they are not gaining or losing anything by people signing up and not showing up. Parties and meet and greets are different. They count on a headcount. I would never dream of signing up for something that people are using their hard earned money to organize if I didn't know for sure that I was going.

[VegasLee 1,486]

We see this all the time. Laura takes care of the sites we have parties listed on. She says she sees X number of people signed up but than sees they are also signed up for five other events that night.

 

Don't judge what a party is going to be like by the number of people signed up on SLS or any other site. We have noticed that most of them that click they are coming to an event don't even bother showing up most of the time.

 

I think some people do it trying to show everyone else they are popular or very active swingers. We have found that those that sign up for lots of events tend to be the ones that don't show up for any events.

 

It is all an Internet fantasy to many and this is just another one of their games.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

We notice the same thing on the sites we're on. We just avoid those profiles all together. Most of the people who do this we've never seen at any event. I agree with VegasLee, it's just a game.

[DaggersNRoses 271]

They will be there anyway, you BYOB, so in other words, they are not gaining or losing anything by people signing up and not showing up. Parties and meet and greets are different. They count on a headcount. I would never dream of signing up for something that people are using their hard earned money to organize if I didn't know for sure that I was going.

 

The club we have attended puts out snacks so some money is spent there when they plan for and cover food for a specific amount.

[DaggersNRoses 271]

So far we have signed up for four attendances at a club and have only made one. We will see if we make it to the last one we signed up on.

 

Work and mother nature interfered with the first one we canceled on and again this weekend, mother nature plays her part. I'd love to be able to say I can plan for anything and not have health or work or kids change my plans.

 

The Rose

[Playful1 434]

I call it the BBD syndrome for Bigger Better Deal Syndrome. People won't commit to things anymore. I literally have had people, as have my friends, plan to meet them, confirm it, then continue to look around for a BBD behind their back.

 

Everyone is so worried about missing the next "off the hook" (HATE that term btw) thing that no one is willing to just say "hey, that sounds like fun, lets do that!" and leave it at that.

 

if i sign up for one thing, i am signed up. if something else comes along that sounds cool, i say "oh well, sounds fun but will have to be next time".

 

This is also why I rarely publicly say where i will be for swing stuff unless I know with 80% or better certainty that I'll be there/I'm not considering anything else.

 

And I sure as heck wouldn't say I'd see a couple and then cancel on them to do something else.

 

Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.

[SwingerGirl 132]

The club we have attended puts out snacks so some money is spent there when they plan for and cover food for a specific amount.

 

Colette puts out food (I dunno if that's the one you are talking about?) but I don't think they base it on the number of people signing up on an ad site. They usually put it out as the club opens, and it is usually gone by the time I get there....

[DaggersNRoses 271]

We haven't attended Colette's yet. We are up in Baton Rouge for now and have checked out one here.

[sweet_tna 680]

I call it the BBD syndrome for Bigger Better Deal Syndrome. People won't commit to things anymore. I literally have had people, as have my friends, plan to meet them, confirm it, then continue to look around for a BBD behind their back.

 

Everyone is so worried about missing the next "off the hook" (HATE that term btw) thing that no one is willing to just say "hey, that sounds like fun, lets do that!" and leave it at that.

 

if i sign up for one thing, i am signed up. if something else comes along that sounds cool, i say "oh well, sounds fun but will have to be next time".

 

This is also why i rarely publicly say where i will be for swing stuff unless I know with 80% or better certainty that I'll be there/I'm not considering anything else.

 

And i sure as heck wouldn't say I'd see a couple and then cancel on them to do something else.

 

Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.

 

We know folks afflicted with the same syndrome, and have fallen victim to it. A couple talked Couple B and us into going to a party at our local club. We signed up for the party, including the club membership so we could attend, and at the last minute, they tried talking us into going to a different club that evening. The four of us decided to stick with the original plans, and we had a great time.

 

Having learned our lesson, we make our plans based on what WE want to do, regardless of who else might be attending a certain event/party. And we only sign up when we have definite plans to go.

 

=)

[donnaw 16]

We attended an off premise party a few months ago and there were close to two hundred people signed up. When we arrived and they crossed our name off the list I asked them how many of these people will show up. She said maybe half. Luckily we have never been contacted by one of those frequent signer uppers as we would be very wary about getting blown off.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We attended an off premise party a few months ago and there were close to two hundred people signed up. When we arrived and they crossed our name off the list I asked them how many of these people will show up. She said maybe half. Luckily we have never been contacted by one of those frequent signer uppers as we would be very wary about getting blown off.

 

Half is about right at any party. We have one local party that seems to defy the odds usually bringing in about 75% of their sign-ups (sometimes close to 100%), but almost every party I've ever seen anywhere (and club owners have confirmed) it's usually more like 50% (and in some cases much worse).

[junglecouple 127]

That sounds like a poorly run club(s). We, for 11 years, had 99% show up... if anyone ever signed up for a party and didn't show or notify us, then they had a gauntlet to get through to ever get another invite. No Show, No Call (NSNC) is a forbidden sin in our book, and very very seldom if ever, is forgiven... of course there are times that are excused, but not in general. Once bit, twice shy.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

That sounds like a poorly run club(s). We, for 11 years, had 99% show up... if anyone ever signed up for a party and didn't show or notify us, then they had a gauntlet to get through to ever get another invite. No Show, No Call (NSNC) is a forbidden sin in our book, and very very seldom if ever, is forgiven... of course there are times that are excused, but not in general. Once bit, twice shy.

 

I think we are talking about two different things here. There's clubs that require a direct rsvp, which is probably what you did. But I think what we are talking about is public sign ups on sites like sls.

[losAmantes 318]

At one point SLS prevented you from signing up for more than one party. We have seen people signed up for three parties on the same night, all in different cities, lol. One house party we go to bans no shows. The big hotel parties actually want to see a huge guest list because it attracts more paying couples. They've already figured in 50% no shows so you'll notice there's never any extra food, lol. We don't really see a problem with it, if we want to meet up with a couple we email them before the party. If they're not serious about going they let us know. Mostly it seems to be the newbies trying to boost their profile hits abusing the system. Most experienced members are in the loop anyway and know who's going to be where.

[angelkin 1,326]

We had a firm commitment from a couple to come to one of our house parties and they backed out a few days ahead stating someone was under the weather...then the same day, they post publicly that they are seeking a fun party and what events were going on in the area:( Geeesh!

 

When we say we will be somewhere we are...if we're tentative, we say that too so at least the hosts can plan accordingly.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Their loss Angelkin! I would give them 1 point of giving notice but they loose 3 for lying

[shy_couple 459]

This is so true in our area.Seems that singles are worse than couples but a lot of guilty parties. We were looking for a party a couple of years ago. There wasn't a lot going on that weekend so we found a party. The SLS sign up had several couples signed hip that we had contact on and off and for whatever reason had not been able to connect. We thought, awesome, kill several birds with one stone. So we arrive and it was a 2 bedroom 1 bath house full of people, loud music, drunk (and stoned) people, tons of cars, all I a residential neighborhood. So we thought about not going in since it seemed like these things might attract unwanted attention from neighbors and possibly police. Decided to go in since there we're 5-6 couples that we were hoping to meet. That's the night we met "Skanky McCrackwhore". What a mess. To top it off, none, zero, of the couples we wanted to meet showed up. Yeesh!

[DigginIt 1,132]

Shy_couple... Makes me think of Project X, lol. All you were missing was a bouncy, a little person, and a guy with a flame thrower.

[angelkin 1,326]

This is so true in our area. Seems that singles are worse than couples but a lot of guilty parties. We were looking for a party a couple of years ago. There wasn't a lot going on that weekend so we found a party. The SLS sign up had several couples signed up that we had contact on and off and for whatever reason had not been able to connect. We thought, awesome, kill several birds with one stone. So we arrive and it was a 2 bedroom 1 bath house full of people, loud music, drunk (and stoned) people, tons of cars, all in a residential neighborhood. So we thought about not going in since it seemed like these things might attract unwanted attention from neighbors and possibly police. Decided to go in since there we're 5-6 couples that we were hoping to meet. That's the night we met "Skanky McCrackwhore". What a mess. To top it off, none, zero, of the couples we wanted to meet showed up. Yeesh!

 

LMAO - were we at the same party? Surely not...but it goes to show you that it happens everywhere. We didn't stay and we have never gone back.

[Fours Company 169]

Actually what we've noticed more so is the same people who by seemingly default are signed up for the same weekly events, but based upon what we've gathered, rarely ever attend, at least not every week.

 

In fact, there is a particular club in our area where at least a third of the sign-ups at every event are the owners themselves or someone affiliated with them and another third are the same profiles that we've yet to actually see attend at least when we were there (which to us might denote they are friends of the hosts too).

While this club has been anywhere from dead to wall-to-wall regardless of the SLS numbers, this still seems to be a form of deception to increase attendance and we've learned the amount and make-up of sign-ups are almost meaningless as far as the number of attendance or individual attendees.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

In fact, there is a particular club in our area where at least a third of the sign-ups at every event are the owners themselves or someone affiliated with them and another third are the same profiles that we've yet to actually see attend at least when we were there (which to us might denote they are friends of the hosts too).

While this club has been anywhere from dead to wall-to-wall regardless of the SLS numbers, this still seems to be a form of deception to increase attendance and we've learned the amount and make-up of sign-ups are almost meaningless as far as the number of attendance or individual attendees.

 

We've seen something similar to this. One time, we had signed up for a venue we've never been to and contacted a few couples that were also signed up. Their responses were that they weren't really going but just signed up to help out their friends. Never went to that venue/group again.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

We've seen something similar to this. One time, we had signed up for a venue we've never been to and contacted a few couples that were also signed up. Their responses were that they weren't really going but just signed up to help out their friends. Never went to that venue/group again.

 

I hope you appreciate that people making bogus sign-ups is not the fault of the group owners. My wife and I were at a meet-n-greet just yesterday evening. I was talking with the bar owner and host. He is aware that only a third of people who put themselves on the list actually show. He seems to have no means for controlling this.

 

On the other hand, we know an SLS member who hosts private parties. He turned his public group into a private group. Anybody who becomes a no-show two times in succession is booted out of the group. The crowds he hosts seem to have become no smaller. These parties are so famous, everybody wants to be there. I have a feeling, however, that going private would kill a meet-n-greet group.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I hope you appreciate that people making bogus sign-ups is not the fault of the group owners. My wife and I were at a meet-n-greet just yesterday evening. I was talking with the bar owner and host. He is aware that only a third of people who put themselves on the list actually show. He seems to have no means for controlling this.

 

On the other hand, we know an SLS member who hosts private parties. He turned his public group into a private group. Anybody who becomes a no-show two times in succession is booted out of the group. The crowds he hosts seem to have become no smaller. These parties are so famous, everybody wants to be there. I have a feeling, however, that going private would kill a meet-n-greet group.

 

There were other reasons why we didn't go to future events that they held but claiming to be their friends and helping in this manner produced the opposite effect.

[Chicup 41]

There is a hard core picture collector on LL who has done this for at least 8 years.