Attraction/chemistry and its importance
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By TeamCalgary
Hello all.
We have been engaged in the LS since Sept 2019 and have noticed a pattern in our activity; curious whether this mirrors that of many of you.
When we first began, we meet folks usually online, and occasionally in a social setting. Initially, our goal to gain a face to face meeting with the potential couple; a coffee, a drink, whatever. Looking back on it, we likely met with too many couples who were not good fits.
Now, our goal is to ascertain the "fit" earlier in the process, so that we meet fewer couples, but the ones that we do meet are, in theory at least, ideally better fits for us.
Peeling back the onion on this, it appears that we have gotten better at asking some of the dealbreaker questions upfront
(condom use, drug use, PnP, same room, play together, etc) that would help to stratify best fit earlier in the process, long before we ever potentially meet.
Red flags are also coming into play as we are now more aware of what some of these things are and how they influence what works for us, and what doesn't.
For those of you who have extensive experience in the LS, we would welcome your comments in terms of how you ascertain "fit". Is it a process or a particular step; certain questions upfront, etc?
Many thanks.
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By AdamGunn2
It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
“Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
“Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
“This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
“Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
“You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
“Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
“Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
“Something wrong with him?” I asked.
“I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
“Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
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By Miss Sunshine
i may be considered a snob but I like to see and lick a pussy that doesn't have too much hanging labia (gets in the way). I like a bigger clit, one you can suck on, mmmmm. I had an experience with another lady once that when she was aroused, her clit swelled to the point it looked like a very small cock, we rubbed pussies together and I could actually feel some penetration, it was very nice to suck.
Cocks, I need them circumsized, sorry. size doesn't matter but once in awhile I love to run into a huge one.
Don't get me wrong, I have had different shapes and sizes, cut and uncut, I am just saying what my preference is.
Cleanliness, there have been a few people who haven't been clean and it was not nice and I left them standing.
What about you all?
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By Spoomonkey
This may be the most important thread for men in recent recorded history. In fact, it may be so important that I could be the first primate winner of the Noble Prize. Chances are, if you don’t find value in this thread you hate pie, cute babies and all the things that make our country great*
Here’s my theory about haunted houses. They really aren’t that scary. But, if you buy into them, they can be creepy as hell. Mrs Spoo and I love haunted houses because we know how to buy in, to really let ourselves be scared. And we always get our money’s worth!
You see, being scared is what the haunted house guys are trying to do, but I can spoil that simply by not letting myself get into it. Being scared, therefore, is not so much their job as it is mine. They are doing their part – and when I do mine, it is an amazing experience!
So – let’s apply that to sex.
Men – the good ones anyway – obsess about their equipment and/or ability to please a playmate. I know for me, I read as much stuff as I can, I work out, I try to make myself fun for the person I am lucky enough to be with (which is usually Mrs Spoo – and I consider that the greatest luck of all!) So – I will start with the assumption (which, admittedly, often doesn’t fit, but for most of the men around here, is probably workable) that the men are doing their part.
Where the theory comes in is with the women buying into the experience. I am quite sure that it is not me who gives a woman an orgasm as much as it is her who allows herself to have one. Women can certainly block the best efforts.
There are two keys to this (as I see it):
Chemistry, which is unpredictable and impossible to manipulate. It is either there, sometimes in the form of visible sparks, or it is not.
Comfort, which is just a positive rapport that two people have that makes each able to relax and enjoy a situation.
Both can increase the other, I think. Where there is chemistry there will be more comfort. Where there is comfort, chemistry can be found.
“Buying in” to the experience does not mean pretending you are enjoying lame sex. Not at all! There will always be lame experiences – mostly because I can’t make ever male read this, the most important thread in the history of the written word. But, for those of us who do read it, the questions are these:
What can a man do to help increase your comfort level?
What helps you relax in a situation and “buy in”?
That’s it! The answers to those questions – from women who are familiar with themselves and with what works, what doesn’t – are the Holy Grail that we men seek! It is not the dozens of penis enlargement spam we receive in our email every week. It is right here, in this thread. Your answers will raise this from the best board for swinging information on the net to the single greatest resource for mankind – a monolith of wisdom and evolutionary potential, ala 2001 – A Space Odyssey. Help us evolve, ladies. Help us help you
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By NotnewNotpros
As a couple we are somewhere in between swinging and poly. I don’t need full on love but enjoy the playfulness of the “crush” and boyfriend/girlfriend crush feelings.
We are slowly proceeding with this with a new couple. Who is also new to the LS. We’ve been there in the past and really enjoyed this type of thing.
My “issue” is that the female is very playful and chatty. But her and my husband talk more sexy and more often than she and I do. It doesn’t make me jealous at all, I just would love it too!! The male half is great in person but the chatting and flirting has really slowed down since we’ve played a few times. He seems to be cautious when it comes to sexting. So much fun for my husband and I feel like a little blah...bland. I just want a little more fun and excitement (chat wise) considering we aren’t able to see each other often. She and I can hang out but they want to stick to the “rule of 3” for now.
So it’s hard to get to know him more without having some alone time and minimal (slightly bland) chat.
We really like them and it’s been a long time since we’ve found such good 4 way chemistry.
Any advice? And how often do you chat and what is your expectations?
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