What is your swinging style?

[Bromindy 15]

We are one and done. It has kept it very primal and recreational. We love sex but love each other more. We would have to lay out another set of rules and guidelines for repeat offenders if we opt to pursue that

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

We are probably somewhere in the middle. We'll play and go home, but we aren't opposed to making friends (but we aren't looking to do that first). If friendship happens, great... chances are once it does there won't be any sex, though, so let's have sex and then see what happens.

[angelkin 1,326]

We're a little of both, a one and done is great, but if we've hit it off fantastically, we will continue to see play friends. Over time, if we continue to meet with the same people, we do end up in the friendship realm where we might do lifestyle or social events without actually sleeping with them. We're cultivating a circle of play friends and hang out at the club when we attend...or they always get an invite to our parties - that sort of thing. Play is never guaranteed, but if we enjoy your company, we consider you friends.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We're a mix.

 

Some are one and done.

Some are repeats, and we become casual friends. "Club Friends" if you will.

Over the years, three couples have become very close friends. The closer we became, the less sex we had with them, so there's that.

[Fun269indayton 15]

We may still be working thru this ourselves but at this time we like having friends with benefits. We enjoy seeing our friends and meeting for vanilla activities. We understand that it means there will be more emotional attachment and sometimes lead to no sex but we also feel that the more comfortable we are with our playmates the more enjoyable the play time is.

[exploringRM 305]

We started out as a friends first/sex later couple..as that seemed to be the way people do it (what did we know). But discovered that that takes alot of time and typically you get nowhere. We changed to lets talk, see if we are comfortable and attracted to each other and then have sex. That evolved into alot of friendships over time, in a group that sort of hangs out together. We do social things as well as L/S things. We don't see everyone all of the time so things don't tend to get old. We do still enjoy meeting new people, that thrill of the first time with new people. But many times our events/activities with our group of friends trumps our plans hit a club on our own. Sort of guaranteed fun versus the unknown fun time at a club.

[sparkstar 128]

We're mostly one and done, we find it more fun that way, you know the thrill factor of sleeping with new people.

We only become friends with people we get on very well with and if the sex was really good. Then we will exchange phone numbers etc so we can meet again either as couples or separately without our partners, people we can trust we dont need to use condoms with and really enjoy ourselves.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

We like to play and then become friends if we hit it off. Sometimes due to scheduling the opposite happens. One and done is my least favorite, unless the sex is bad. My husband leans more toward one and done, but accommodates my preference to see the same people/person multiple times.

[DigginIt 1,132]

One and done is fine on occasion but there are so many times I think back and say...I should have done so when we are frequent friends, I simply think...next time! In almost four years, we have found four couples where there has been that fantastic chemistry. When we find it, we don't like to let it go but prefer to spend as much time with them as we can.

[willyoats 324]

I'd say about half are one time only. But there are many repeats. Actually, I don't consider the night a true success unless there is a reason to meet again. We have many friends that we met over and over. That's the delight of our swinging. Not just sex only, but a real feeling of friendship in addition to the physical attraction.

[km34 672]

We prefer longer term things. I have never had the best possible sex with someone the first time that we were together. I like to have a little bit of time to get to know each others' bodies to make it all that it can be.

 

Not at all opposed to one and done, though, and it happens pretty much anytime we go to a club.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I love all of the answers you guys have provided so far! But now I've realized that my original post didn't include whether you swing as a couple only, swing separately on occasion, swing separately most of the time, the frequency of how often you swing, etc. And it would have been interesting to see how long everyone had been swinging, how long they have been with their current partner, and if they've been in the LS with other significant others. Sometimes I wish I could have been a sociological researcher to really delve into this!

[angelkin 1,326]

I love all of the answers you guys have provided so far! But now I've realized that my original post didn't include whether you swing as a couple only, swing separately on occasion, swing separately most of the time, the frequency of how often you swing, etc. And it would have been interesting to see how long everyone had been swinging, how long they have been with their current partner, and if they've been in the LS with other significant others. Sometimes I wish I could have been a sociological researcher to really delve into this!

 

 

Mostly as a couple, but we do split up a house parties and are "borrowed" on occasion to make a threesome. We swing or do some lifestyle activity, like go to the club or a party at least once a month, sometimes more. We've been swinging for over two years now together and met 7 years ago (we were a one-night stand thing that turned serious), I dabbled in the lifestyle in a previous relationship and as a single many years ago.

[LFM2 1,482]

We are probably somewhere in the middle. We'll play and go home, but we aren't opposed to making friends (but we aren't looking to do that first). If friendship happens, great... chances are once it does there won't be any sex, though, so let's have sex and then see what happens.

 

We're a mix.

 

Some are one and done.

Some are repeats, and we become casual friends. "Club Friends" if you will.

Over the years, three couples have become very close friends. The closer we became, the less sex we had with them, so there's that.

 

Like Julie said, for the exception of this one couple, there won't be sex the better we get to know a couple. We're so much better off just getting together with them first, having sex and then seeing where things go from there.

 

We used to be a one and done couple, but there is one couple that we play with that have changed that for us. They've called again and again, and we've repeated with them several times. We also do social stuff together (going to ball games, dinner, BBQs etc...) and we've really enjoyed it.

 

I think it started out this way in the beginning that we'd be just a one and done couple and it just didn't turn out that way. There are other couples, however, where one is enough and we're done.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

In terms of one-and-done vs repeat meets, we really don't have a style.

 

If we have a great time we are certainly willing to, and do, meet someone again and again. If we are less than excited about repeating, then we have no problems moving on. We take each situation as it comes and see how things go.

[occ 148]

Seems like we are usually one and done now. But we do have some regulars when the sex is really good. One of these has turned in to really good friends. The other regulars are just fun fuck buddies.

[sweet_tna 680]

We pretty much run the gamut. There've been times where it's been a one-and-done kinda' thing, other's we've kept at arm's length, and others with whom we've become close friends. It depends on our mood and how well we hit it off/whether we have anything really in common with the other folks.

 

As for how we play, that varies, as well. We play together or separately, depending on the circumstances. Anyone with whom either of us enjoys solo action has to be someone we trust, though.

 

=)

[CollegeCouple24 232]

We are one and done. It has kept it very primal and recreational. We love sex but love each other more. We would have to lay out another set of rules and guidelines for repeat offenders if we opt to pursue that

 

Same here! We only play quick and dirty and are not very nurturing to any swinging relationships. It's partially a free-time problem and partially a we-already-have-a-group-of-friends thing. The downside is that we aren't very compatible with couples new to the lifestyle and I've personally always liked onboarding people

[Playful1 434]

I'm in the middle. I don't go into it looking for new friends but am totally open to it if it happens. I have some folks I've known for years and still play with, and have also had several times where I had to ask someone else what the name was of the person I fucked because I forgot it in the morning, lol.

[Tia Vampire 167]

We only meet up with couples at the Fantasy House or other house parties and keep them out of our vanilla life. If we meet outside of a club or house party setting, it's just to the restaurant or whatever we have decided to do then home.

[AR1547 131]

Like Julie said, for the exception of this one couple, there won't be sex the better we get to know a couple. We're so much better off just getting together with them first, having sex and then seeing where things go from there.

 

We used to be a one and done couple, but there is one couple that we play with that have changed that for us. They've called again and again, and we've repeated with them several times. We also do social stuff together (going to ball games, dinner, BBQs etc...) and we've really enjoyed it.

 

I think it started out this way in the beginning that we'd be just a one and done couple and it just didn't turn out that way. There are other couples, however, where one is enough and we're done.

 

Ditto. We were usually one and done, with a few repeats but only in lifestyle settings. Then we met this one couple, they hit on us, and now we're with them at least 2 weekends a month since last November, with a vanilla dinner date on weeknights about every other week.

[kellimc 229]

I am a part of a few regular house party groups, so most of the people I play with I have played with before and know fairly well. However, I always meet new people because those groups are always inviting new people. Also, many of the groups might have 20-30 couples in them, but not all of them come to every party. Usually only 6-8 couples will show up for any given party, so the parties never seem stale with the same old same old.

[Fours Company 169]

When we first started experimenting in the LS, we were one of those "friendship first" types who naively thought that was the best way. To be honest it made it more like vanilla courtship and more of a chance the other couple would back out or go flaky so play became the primary goal with any resulting friendship just the icing. Most of our play was of the one and done type, though a few we were lucky to have repeat encounters with, but no long-term LS friendship resulted, let alone any that has carried over into vanilla life. Since we re-entered the LS our outlook has matured and we are leaning more toward seeking a small group of repeat playmates and long-term friendship rather then let's go out and fuck as many different people as we can encounters.

[confused12524 201]

with couples, we like friends with benefits. Many of our longest friendships, started offwith couples that we played with.with singles however we keep that strictly play only, and while many times they are repeats,as a rulewe don't move beyond that.

[2plus2fun 143]

For us, we take the term "lifestyle" fairly literally. One of the things that we love about this is that we get to meet lots of people who have solid marriages and are genuinely good people. I wouldn't say it's the majority of people because there is a large turnover. That said, we have made wonderful friends with whom we share our life... they are people of discerning quality that recognize when something is appropriate and when it is not. We do have some vanilla friends... but they are mostly who we hold at arms length.

[AngelandTiger 364]

I'm not sure what our preference is, but we've met a lot of people in the LS that we really care about. That said, the majority of those we didn't play with. However, no matter who it is, Angel has to like the person AS a person before she'll play, although she loves kissing and flirting and touching to get to know someone. I don't enjoy the one and done idea, but I'm a bit wary of emotional entanglements as well. I think our best option is a sort of FWB arrangement, although it's still hard to see that not having some poly leanings (something we're not interested in) no matter how you slice it. Angel feels more attracted to people the more she gets to know them; I'll admit I do too, so the one and done aspect is probably not for us.