Okay, but are you really bisexual?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I'm usually the last person to decide my tent's just not big enough for x, y or z, but my own life as a queer woman, a number of recent conversations with non-swingers, and a whole bunch of posts here have me questioning how many of you who call yourselves bisexual are really bisexual.

 

So, here's my bias: I think sexual identity is either set early or is there at birth and it is actually impossible to suddenly discover your bisexuality at the age of 30 or 40 or 50. Instead, I think of those folks as hedonists who are in an environment where same sex play is the order of the day. Not saying I'm right, but it certainly explains those guys who aren't turned on by men but find themselves enjoying a cock now and again, as well as those women who happily play with other women but "need a cock to be satisfied," as I read a week or so ago. In case I didn't already make it clear, I wouldn't consider either group bisexual.

 

So, are you just a laid back pleasure lovin' hedonist fallen into an environment that supports it or are you really bi?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Wonderful question...in which I have no answers right now. But I was curious, do you find yourself a bit offended at those women who call themselves bisexual when you think they are more hedonistic dependent on their environment?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

But I was curious, do you find yourself a bit offended at those women who call themselves bisexual when you think they are more hedonistic dependent on their environment?

 

No, I just think they're wrong.

 

Seriously, though, I've long thought it might be useful to have a way to differentiate between the "bi from birth" folks and those who play that way, because from my vantage point they read very differently once I'm in their field, which sounds a lot more New Age-y than I'd like. What I mean is that in the same way I'm not attracted to gay men, I'm not attracted to women who aren't intrinsically bi or gay and it doesn't matter what they call themselves. They're either part of my sexual palette - and whether I'd actually have sex with them is immaterial - or they are not, but I don't know that from SLS ads or when someone points out the "bi woman" across the room.

[DaggersNRoses 271]

From what I have read, bisexuality is an attraction to both sexes. If you feel caught up in the sexual moment and are freely playing but not really attracted to your own gender, I am not sure you can call that bisexual.

[angelkin 1,326]

I identify as straight, but enjoy g/g play for the eroticism. I list myself straight, but clarify my interests within our profile. I think my own sexuality has always been explorative and I had my first bisexual experience when I was 10, much before my first heterosexual experience...I think opportunity was the factor there. But, I continued to experiment with bisexuality from time to time as well - in my teens, in my 20's and again now. I find the female body to be art in motion - just as I do a male body, each with it's own secrets and attraction.

 

Am I bisexual - no. Am I heteroflexible or a result of the swinging environment - yes, that's more accurate.

[Adventure_Cutie 17]

I am bisexual. I have erotic dreams about women as much as I do men. I prefer lesbian porn opposed to heterosexual. I have felt attraction to both boys and girls since early childhood, before I even knew what sex was.

 

The more I read about sexuality classifications the more I come to realize that between hetero and gay, there are worlds of gray all of which are classified as bisexual. Heteroflexible and Homoflexible narrow down which side of Ambisexual that you swing. Ambisexual, being the rarest, a person truly attracted equally to both sexes, often accepting of transsexuals and hermaphrodites. I truly believe that I fall into this category. Despite never dating those of the miscellaneous sexual identities, I fall lustily for the person, their body as a piece of art, and have had passionate relationships in hot straight and lesbian worlds.

 

With my own experiences, and finding a lack of place, and pressure to claim straight or gay, I rejoice in being able to shout BI!! And don't judge anyone who identifies with that title. If they find power in it, but are just "party bi" girls, more power to em. I'll go only as far as they want me to, and then play with the men, because I like them too .

 

And yes I too can spot a lesbian from a full bi from a party bi, and I'll make out with them all.

[GBBlondie 17]

I'm usually the last person to decide my tent's just not big enough for x, y or z, but my own life as a queer woman, a number of recent conversations with non-swingers, and a whole bunch of posts here have me questioning how many of you who call yourselves bisexual are really bisexual.

 

My first question would be why does it matter? I've never understood why so many people get so hung up on how other people identify themselves. If someone wants to identify themselves as bisexual, then they're bisexual. If they wish to identify as straight, even though they may occasionally enjoy a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex, then they're straight. I don't see why this matters (though it may not to you, and you may be just bringing the issue up for discussion, many people do have issues with it for some reason).

 

So, here's my bias: I think sexual identity is either set early or is there at birth and it is actually impossible to suddenly discover your bisexuality at the age of 30 or 40 or 50.

 

I disagree with the second half of your assertion. There have been several studies that have pointed to sexual orientation being rather fluid in nature, especially in women. Sexual orientation exists along a continuum - there are not three distinct points (straight, bisexual, gay). And many people find themselves at different places on that continuum as they progress through life. I believe it is perfectly viable that someone might discover they're bisexual (or even gay) in their 30's, 40's, or 50's.

 

No, I just think they're wrong.

 

And you were put in charge of that when, exactly? Even the psychology and sexology communities haven't agreed on exact, specific definitions of many of these words/concepts, so I'm not sure how you view yourself as qualified to make such an assertion.

 

Seriously, though, I've long thought it might be useful to have a way to differentiate between the "bi from birth" folks and those who play that way

 

This goes back to my response to your first quote. Why in the world does it matter? How do you see it being "useful" to have such a distinction?

[ViSexual 1,008]

So, are you just a laid back pleasure lovin' hedonist fallen into an environment that supports it or are you really bi?

 

You sure hit it on the head! LOL! I love sexual adventure and playing with another married man who feels the same way is fun. My wife isn't interested in swinging anymore and she's OK with me having a male FWB. She wouldn't be OK with me having a female FWB. If my wife were to want to join me again, and I still hold out hope, I'd be fine with only heterosexual swapping again. But if she wanted to try a MFM with a bi guy, absolutely! But, in thinking about your post, I'm not really bisexual at all.

[tribbles 490]

For swinging, I list myself as bi cuz I'll do g/g as long as guys are around. I'm not a 1 on 1 for girls or guys in private though.

 

I did learn I'm not emotionally bi, not even as sexually bi, as I thought I was. I can have fun with another lady but a LTR, nope. I also don't seek out other females to be with but if it happens, I'm very hedonistic and enjoy giving pleasure to everyone.

I like your description.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Female sexuality has been shown through research to be more fluid and flexible than male sexuality, so I think things can change as people gain age and experience. I do feel that I could have a romantic or long-term relationship with a woman. Truthfully, I probably would not have learned that about myself if I wasn't a swinger. That doesn't make it untrue though.

[oc1234 435]

I guess I am situationally bi. I wouldn't actively go after a male for sex, but if the opportunity presents itself in something like a threesome, I do like it. My best male friend and I have been having threesomes with my wife and it does involve bi play between him and me, and I also occasionally meet with him for sex without my wife. Yes, my wife knows about it and approves of it.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think many of us may have thoughts or feelings that we would not allow ourselves to explore and then find at some later point in life that we are actually allowed to do so. Perhaps something happens and we are approached by someone who questions us and allows us to question ourselves in such a way that we are forced to see that we do have desires we have not previously admitted, or perhaps we find ourselves with a partner who presents life to us a new way that opens those doors.

 

For myself, looking back at my youth I was always sexually curious from a VERY young age. However, the idea of being with another women...nuh uh. It wasn't gonna happen. I had the opportunity presented to me a couple of times and was not the least bit interested. However, a few years later when the whole idea of sexual openness had been presented to me and accepted by me, I found that the idea of being with another woman was actually a huge turn-on. I've never had any interest in being in a relationship with another woman, however enjoying another woman sexually does turn me on.

 

I think this question broaches that whole "varying degrees of bisexuality" thing. But, to your original point, yes I do believe that someone can realize later in life that their sexuality is more than they originally thought. It may have always been there and they just didn't know it or accept it.

[Liberty777 15]

I see many comments that would be similar to me. I enjoy bi threesome play. Sucks cock with my wife makes her super horny. I guess that is situational but we are not into labels. We are a free country for a reason. Hugs all, Marc

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Female sexuality has been shown through research to be more fluid and flexible than male sexuality, so I think things can change as people gain age and experience.

 

And here's a place where I wonder if the research is either flawed or limited by its study subjects. It has certainly appeared that female sexuality is more fluid, both anecdotally and in studies, but coming back to swinging after six years, I've been struck by the increase in the number of men who are willing to engage in same sex play. That's part of what is fueling my question around hedonism vs. sexual identity, whether the gradual loosening of disapproval of male/male sex play is allowing more men to loosen their hedonic boundaries. If it is, and there's no way to tell for sure except with something like a longitudinal study of special populations, then the seeming greater fluidity of female sexuality would be more a result of a social moment than anything inborn.

 

I think this question broaches that whole "varying degrees of bisexuality" thing. But, to your original point, yes I do believe that someone can realize later in life that their sexuality is more than they originally thought. It may have always been there and they just didn't know it or accept it.

 

It's not that I don't think sexuality is a continuum. I do and I also think that expression can shift, sometimes many times, over a lifetime. What I'm getting at here, though, is a little different, that identity is one thing and sexual expression is something else. Some people, regardless of social norms or how accepting the social climate is of either same sex or opposite sex play, will be uninterested in exploration and that would hold true on either the gay or straight side of the spectrum. For everyone else, asexuals excepted, sexual expression might depend on opportunity and/or social norms and do so without reference to actual sexual identity, which I persist in thinking is fixed either before birth or very early on.

 

If there's a better group than swingers in which to study the question of happy hedonist vs. bisexual, I don't know what that would be.

[Chicup 41]

So, are you just a laid back pleasure lovin' hedonist fallen into an environment that supports it or are you really bi?

 

Let me give you my wife's journey to her bisexuality.

 

I knew she was bisexual before she knew or ever even kissed a woman outside of a family member. The reason was pretty obvious. Porn.

 

Male + female = turned her on.

Female + female = turned her on.

Male + male = repulsed her.

 

Basically we liked the same porn. She thought being a lesbian was "icky" and yet she was turned on by two women having sex. It was the cultural part that was holding her back, and her personality is such that she is afraid to put herself out there.

 

So forward into swinging, her first girl girl encounter was when she was about 30 years old. She loved it. Then the girl involved decided SHE was not bi and I think that slowed down my wife's progress. Suddenly her friend she had her first encounter with and we swung with many times says 'no thanks'.

 

Finally after years she admits she's fully bisexual, and she's close to 40.

 

While I think many "bisexual" females in the lifestyle are really just going with the flow, and many bisexual males are pretending they are going with the flow, not everyone comes to grips with it early on.

[DaggersNRoses 271]

For a long time I wasn't sure about me. The idea of woman on woman turned me . So does the idea of two men.

 

The key word is idea. I like the kink factor in the fantasy, reading about it or seeing it. It does not turn me on to consider myself with another woman.

 

I hate kissing a man after he has performed oral on me, I don't like the taste or smell at all. I don't like kissing another woman either. I don't touch myself when I masturbate usually because I don't like the way a vagina feels.

 

I guess that makes me straight. Lol.

[Chicup 41]

My first question would be why does it matter? I've never understood why so many people get so hung up on how other people identify themselves. If someone wants to identify themselves as bisexual, then they're bisexual. If they wish to identify as straight, even though they may occasionally enjoy a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex, then they're straight. I don't see why this matters (though it may not to you, and you may be just bringing the issue up for discussion, many people do have issues with it for some reason).

 

I can call myself the Queen of England, but that doesn't mean people should bow. I personally don't care what people identify themselves as, but what I would classify them as, being my opinion on the matter is the one that matters to me the most. We have had men here on this board, say they were not bi because they were only attracted to "specific kinds of men". By that definition I'm not heterosexual because I'm only attracted to specific kinds of women. They didn't call themselves bi, but they were bi to me.

 

I disagree with the second half of your assertion. There have been several studies that have pointed to sexual orientation being rather fluid in nature, especially in women. Sexual orientation exists along a continuum - there are not three distinct points (straight, bisexual, gay). And many people find themselves at different places on that continuum as they progress through life. I believe it is perfectly viable that someone might discover they're bisexual (or even gay) in their 30's, 40's, or 50's.

 

I agree with this but only to a point. My take on it, is that for most it was always there, but they didn't allow it to surface until later. The reasons for this can be many, but my brain isn't being rewired to homosexually after 40 here.

 

And you were put in charge of that when, exactly? Even the psychology and sexology communities haven't agreed on exact, specific definitions of many of these words/concepts, so I'm not sure how you view yourself as qualified to make such an assertion.

 

Lighten up Francis. We all get to make statements based on what we believe to be true, even if they are in fact false. I think she is wrong for some and right for others. There is definite "show bi" in swinging.

 

This goes back to my response to your first quote. Why in the world does it matter? How do you see it being "useful" to have such a distinction?

 

As a heterosexual male, I'd not be turned on by the thought of a gay woman having sex with me only for show. I want her to want me. I can understand why the same would apply to a bisexual woman.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

And yes I too can spot a lesbian from a full bi from a party bi, and I'll make out with them all.

 

...from my vantage point they read very differently once I'm in their field....

 

Adventure and maui, these two statements piqued my interest. How exactly do "bi from birth" bisexuals differ from "hedonistic bi" that you can spot them?

 

 

...coming back to swinging after six years, I've been struck by the increase in the number of men who are willing to engage in same sex play. That's part of what is fueling my question around hedonism vs. sexual identity, whether the gradual loosening of disapproval of male/male sex play is allowing more men to loosen their hedonic boundaries. If it is, and there's no way to tell for sure except with something like a longitudinal study of special populations, then the seeming greater fluidity of female sexuality would be more a result of a social moment than anything inborn.

 

It's not that I don't think sexuality is a continuum. I do and I also think that expression can shift, sometimes many times, over a lifetime. What I'm getting at here, though, is a little different, that identity is one thing and sexual expression is something else. Some people, regardless of social norms or how accepting the social climate is of either same sex or opposite sex play, will be uninterested in exploration and that would hold true on either the gay or straight side of the spectrum. For everyone else, asexuals excepted, sexual expression might depend on opportunity and/or social norms and do so without reference to actual sexual identity, which I persist in thinking is fixed either before birth or very early on.

 

 

Honestly, I think people can be pretty good about fooling themselves into believing all sorts of things...whether they are right or wrong. Someone who hasn't been exposed to same-sex relationships in any capacity might take it at face value that male and females pair up. End of story. No other combinations. They can dismiss their attraction to the same-sex as curiosity, abnormal, odd, etc. Then, depending on life experiences, expanding societal norms, and their own personal ability to be honest with themselves I think it is possible for someone to discover a change in their sexuality. The human mind is still a great mystery and capable of more than we can imagine at this time and place. What we consider commonplace (computers, cellphones, tv's, etc.) would seem like magic to the general population 100 years ago. Perhaps in 100 years, people will have a greater handle on the sexuality of humans in such a way that would "blow our minds" (pun intended...?).

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Adventure and maui, these two statements piqued my interest. How exactly do "bi from birth" bisexuals differ from "hedonistic bi" that you can spot them?

 

I can't speak for Adventure, but for me they don't trip whatever it is that buzzes inside me in the presence of lesbian (strong signal) or bi from birth (weaker but still easily heard) women. Nobody needs to out themselves or discuss the extent of their interest in women and it has nothing to do with whether I'm attracted to them, but something in me recognizes them. It may be as simple as something I heard mentioned recently, about a checklist the more primitive part of our brain does when it encounters something new, where the third thing asked is, "Is it mating material?" I'll happily kiss anyone, without regard to their sexual orientation, but sex with most bi women who swing is a great deal more problematic for me, because it doesn't feel right; to me they apparently aren't mating material.

 

Btw, apparently it's only after our brain answers the question of whether something is fuckable that it asks what the new thing is. That cracked me up.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I can't speak for Adventure, but for me they don't trip whatever it is that buzzes inside me in the presence of lesbian (strong signal) or bi from birth (weaker but still easily heard) women. Nobody needs to out themselves or discuss the extent of their interest in women and it has nothing to do with whether I'm attracted to them, but something in me recognizes them.

 

How interesting! I have nothing like that in my head. I think I even put it in our profile that we don't have couple-dar.

 

I'll happily kiss anyone, without regard to their sexual orientation, but sex with most bi women who swing is a great deal more problematic for me, because it doesn't feel right; to me they apparently aren't mating material.

 

I hate to ask you more about this, because I feel that I always pepper you with questions, but is the "mating material" just a biological sense of man-woman to populate the world or do you mean something else?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I hate to ask you more about this, because I feel that I always pepper you with questions, but is the "mating material" just a biological sense of man-woman to populate the world or do you mean something else?

 

Pepper away. For me, it appears to be biologically based, as "mating material" encompasses everyone in my sexual palette (straight or bisexual male, lesbian female and some bi-identified females) without regard to actual attraction. Clearly, population increase isn't the aim, though, or only men would be on the list, but I do have an internal yes/no that sorts it all out before I get a conscious say in the matter.

 

Does that make it clearer?

[Chicup 41]

I can't speak for Adventure, but for me they don't trip whatever it is that buzzes inside me in the presence of lesbian (strong signal) or bi from birth (weaker but still easily heard) women. Nobody needs to out themselves or discuss the extent of their interest in women and it has nothing to do with whether I'm attracted to them, but something in me recognizes them. It may be as simple as something I heard mentioned recently, about a checklist the more primitive part of our brain does when it encounters something new, where the third thing asked is, "Is it mating material?" I'll happily kiss anyone, without regard to their sexual orientation, but sex with most bi women who swing is a great deal more problematic for me, because it doesn't feel right; to me they apparently aren't mating material.

 

Btw, apparently it's only after our brain answers the question of whether something is fuckable that it asks what the new thing is. That cracked me up.

 

It's called gaydar

 

The problem with gaydar is while it will be usually correct, I don't think it gets a lot of false positives, what it does often miss are those that don't have the traits that trigger your gaydar.

 

[Adventure_Cutie 17]

My radar is really strong, as in I can read people really well. Often I can see a huge chunk of a persons insecurities within talking to them for five mins. Often even just observing their behavior. Certain environments of course bring out different facets of the same inner diamond.

 

My observations are coming from two areas of my life. I am currently a waitress at a really high end restaurant, and I get to interact with so many people, on their best behavior in the beginning, and then really intimate as the evening goes on and they sink into the romantic/private mood that the restaurant creates. And from being a former NYC club kid. ,y swinging experience is a bit limited, but after attending one house party, all of the same still stands up.

 

"party-bi" girls, approach situations enthusiastically, only after the environment has been set with a sexual charge. They are bouncy curious cheerleaders with innocence behind their eyes, always aware of the Males reacting to their behavior.

 

Real bi girls have a feisty naughty look behind their eyes. Often prowling like lionesses, reveling in their sensual power that they can take anyone in the room. They can turn this off and on depending on the scene. But a true bi girl cannot hide the flash in their eyes when ever they are attracted to another lady, no matter where they are. Just like how it's obvious when a guy has just scoped another girl's ass or cleavage, no matter how discrete... I saw you

 

Fresh lesbians, just breaking out in the world, tend to be rebellious, with a "take that world" vibe. While mature lesbians have a developed peace behind their eyes. They have a auto of comfort, relaxed and wise.

 

All of these ladies have a sensual under current around them, that I think comes from sexual enlightenment. Similarly a straight lady whom has a fulfilling sex life full of orgasms, carries herself with confidence and assuredness.

 

As for myself, I started exploring very young, out of innocence, exploring with girls before I did boys. Now later in life I find I prefer to live in a hetero-relationship. There is just something missing in my life if I don't have the taste of a woman from time to time. I crave them, like a hungry jungle cat. Not sure how this pertains to the whole mate for procreation animal drive. On that note we cannot forget that very few species have sex for fun! Dolphins do, and they often have orgies, masturbate, same sex, and hetero sex with ejaculations outside the body. So I think sex for fun is just as ancient and ingrained in us as sex for procreation.

 

Also, I do believe that sexual orientation is a sliding scale, full of shades of gray, for men and women. It is just socially more acceptable for women to branch out then for men. I think if men were raised in a more accepting culture free of shame for their curiosities, studies would find their sexuality more fluid as well.

 

GO Hedonism!

[potatobug 15]

Interesting question...I have identified as "bi" since my adolescence...I enjoy being with women one on one and men as well one on one. I never put much thought into he psychology or science of this subject, I sort of just go with what feels good, so I suppose you could call that hedonistic. But at any rate anyone who is having sex for the sake of pleasure, isn't that hedonism? Even just discussing it is fun

[Texascurious 15]

I don't know. I have not been with a woman (yet) but consider myself bi curious. I don't remember any attraction to other women until college, but I also grew up in the bible belt and any sort of homosexuality was extremely taboo. After I married my husband I almost felt like this was put on the "back burner" because I very rarely felt a strong attraction to a woman. Now that he has "fanned the flames" to speak by his interest in me being with a woman (whether he is there or not), I seem to notice women more and feel more attraction.

 

I remember telling a male friend back in college (he was discussing the theory of whether all women were at least a little bit bisexual) that while I was very attracted to breasts, vagina didn't do it for me.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I remember telling a male friend back in college (he was discussing the theory of whether all women were at least a little bit bisexual) that while I was very attracted to breasts, vagina didn't do it for me.

 

I do wonder if that attraction to breasts is something common to many, regardless of gender or sexual orientation (maybe on aesthetic grounds, maybe because many of us were cuddled by women as babies). In any case, now that you're thinking about having sex with women, has your lack of attraction to - as you say - vagina changed at all?

[Guest thewriter]

Just because you have bi play when swinging does not make you bi, gay or straight it just means you enjoy sex. That is the reason we are swingers we all enjoy sex enjoy watching and being watched having sex.

[jonsbttm4all 42]

For me it's not emotion, I'm not interested in other males for anything but being friends and having sex. I don't want to kiss nor do I have romantic thoughts towards guys. My bisexuality is purely sexual, and some of that is about letting go of my dominant nature in most of my life.

 

That being said I've always been this way I think. When I was a teen I played with someone I knew very well and as soon as I found the Internet I started exploring bi sex and bi sex stories online. And I've loved anal stimulation since I was 20. I had a girlfriend who loved to use toys on me. As an adult I've only played with one guy (we had a 3 way mmm but guy number 3 was effeminate and couldn't perform so it was just awkward), but I really did enjoy sucking him and letting him fuck me.

[enhancer 1,585]

This is a good question and one that comes up often when we talk to other couples! We find that many of the couples online that list their woman as bi are not being fully honest.

 

I am 100 percent straight! I am not attracted to other men at all and could not get aroused being with them. I am not homophobic and have no problem being around other naked men in swing situations, but there is never any desire to do anything sexual with them.

 

For Ms Enhancer there is no grey area! She is completely bi. She is just as attracted to women as men. If we were not a couple she could just as easily be in a relationship with another woman as a man. In the lifestyle she plays with more women then men.

 

It has got to the point online that we feel we have to ask other couples that list their woman as bi if she is really indeed bi. To many times now we start talking to a couple only to find out that the woman listed as bi isn't actually into other women. Sometimes it turns out that it is just the husband really wishing she was or the oh she is receptive to women doing stuff to her in the moment, but nothing in return the other way. Often the husband will ask us if we can convince her to try it. All this has zero appeal to us. If she is going to play with another woman it is going to be with one that wants her as much as she wants them. There is nothing fun about doing things with someone who isn't really into doing those things. We have turned away many couples, because of this. We would sooner meet couples where both are listed as straight, because at least we know what we are getting into.

[Baconheads 432]

I'm usually the last person to decide my tent's just not big enough for x, y or z, but my own life as a queer woman, a number of recent conversations with non-swingers, and a whole bunch of posts here have me questioning how many of you who call yourselves bisexual are really bisexual.

 

So, here's my bias: I think sexual identity is either set early or is there at birth and it is actually impossible to suddenly discover your bisexuality at the age of 30 or 40 or 50. Instead, I think of those folks as hedonists who are in an environment where same sex play is the order of the day. Not saying I'm right, but it certainly explains those guys who aren't turned on by men but find themselves enjoying a cock now and again, as well as those women who happily play with other women but "need a cock to be satisfied," as I read a week or so ago. In case I didn't already make it clear, I wouldn't consider either group bisexual.

 

So, are you just a laid back pleasure lovin' hedonist fallen into an environment that supports it or are you really bi?

 

 

Yep that's us. Never said that I was bisexual, not interested in a relationship with a man, nor kissing, nor ass play. Hedonist? Absolutely!

 

Some say if a guy plays with a cock once, he's a fag forever, I don't buy that. My girlfriend plays with girls but only a handful of times. I've done oral with a guy like twice, so we're more hetero-flexible.

[NaughtyNaughty 25]

Haven't really made the leap, but think I (Mr.) would be more accurately described as opportunity hedonistic (definitely a naughty boy). The Ms. has some experience and I think that describes her too. Hmmm, kinda jealous about that now.

 

Guess we aren't truly Bi using your description.

[JandKinBoise 858]

I think simply stating 'bi' in a profile, or as a label for yourself is sufficient to notify those needing to be notified that you are open to same sex. The particulars will come out later but 'bi' is just fine, no matter the exact definition.

"Situationally bi, with alcohol, top oral only, no recip, no anal, no kissing" is just such a bitch to write out.

[leecny 23]

Interesting topic. I'm sure I would qualify as bi since I have had sex with quite a few women in and out of a swinging situation and have actively sought out women for sex on a few occasions.

 

My husband who is straight could be considered "situationaly bi" as he's in great shape and gets a lot of attention from men but would never act on it unless I request it. I enjoy watching him receive oral from men on occasion and talked him in to penetrating a very attractive bisexual man once at a club which I really enjoyed watching. When both are really open to sex with any partner it just makes the experience so much more exciting.

[NerdsAreFun 226]

Depends on the definition you are using. But given that this one includes just sexual behavior with both males and females I would say that covers the men who are "not attracted to men but would play with a cock in the right situation" too.

 

"Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward both males and females, or romantic or sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender identity; this latter aspect is sometimes alternatively termed pansexuality."

 

Such recreational sex would surely fall under the bisexual definition. But would not be what you would call bi-amorous (capable of a loving romantic relationship with either sex).

[CostaRica 130]

I find this conversation endlessly fascinating, as for the longest time I considered myself situationally bi, or hedonistically heteroflexible. Hubby always insisted that I was actually Bi (I had my first FMF threesome age 15, always as much about the woman as the man). When we finally got into the lifestyle properly I realized that for the most part I was completely glancing over the men and my assessment of attraction to a couple was all about how attracted I was to the woman. That was when I admitted that I had probably been bi all along, but I still question myself over my decision to label myself as bi.