I can't believe you fucked that.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

This question is for those of us who feel free, after we arriving at a house party or club party, to sometimes or even most times split up and go separate ways to find our own fun. Has your spouse or SO on the drive home ever expressed disapproval or simple surprise by saying, "I can't believe you fucked that" or something having similar meaning like, "I think you could do better than her (him)."

 

Question number two -- how would you answer that kind of question? Or would you maybe not try to answer it at all?

[angelkin 1,326]

We've never been so forward or hurtful, but I can say that I often hear my husband say, "really, I didn't imagine you'd find him attractive". As I have explained to him, it's often not physical attractiveness (i.e. tall, dark hair, blue eyes - which makes me weak in the knees), but personality that wins me over. A sexy mind is a powerful thing and once someone is in my head - I WANT them.

[exploringRM 305]

We are pretty selective so it rarely happens. One time another woman sort of joined in with myself and a playmate, and my wife does not like her (she is a bit crazed in our opinion), but in the heat of the moment, etc didn't have the heart to say no. Give later behaviors I have seen from her, I will avoid her in the future.

 

Part of the point of splitting up sometimes, that you can find a better match 1 on 1 versus 2 on 2.

 

For the most part I would not question my wife in a way that would be critical, but more..I didn't think he would be your type or something like that. I'm always interested to learn more about what she wants (or not) to help in sizing up prospective playmates. Somehow (I don't know why, not bragging) I have had many really hot women, so it's rare my wife looks and me questions the encounter.

[ViSexual 1,008]

My wife and I have often been curious about the people the other of us has been attracted to. And we've often talked about it in a fun way.

 

And, in answering her question about my choice for the moment, "it's about being different and she certainly was!"

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . And, in answering her question about my choice for the moment, "it's about being different and she certainly was!"

That's a good reply.

[DaggersNRoses 271]

I have been surprised by women my husband finds attractive. They weren't what I expected but thinking on it, it wasn't as surprising.

 

I physically wasn't what my husband found really hot when we met, I wasn't the kind of person he normally had sex with. He is interested in basically the same types he was back then.

 

I have not surprised him at all. I gravitate to assertive men with strong personalities.

 

 

The Rose

[Fours Company 169]

Since we don't split up, but play together, we have found we've had to be more accepting in our perspective of the other's play partner since couples come as a package deal. While not going so far as to admit we've sometimes had to "take one for the team", but since I find we are usually attracted most to those similar to each other, there have been times when Mrs. Fours has had to settle for guys that are older then myself and both larger in body and smaller in other areas that I know she normally wouldn't gravitate towards if we swung separate. It has not been an issue since we both enjoyed ourselves anyway because it was still someone different as well as us putting more emphasis on the person then their body and looks.

[eriefun 15]

Now we are new, and we are only soft swap, but I have been suprised in the mrs choices in the few experiences we have had. Our last experience was with a very HOT couple, and we both found them extremely attractive. She was great, but he said some things that I really had to do a double take on. He was saying things I was sure my wife would take offense to, killing his chances with her. We ended up playing. The next day I asked her about it and she said she was not paying attention to the conversation the four of us were having. She was also in the mood and didn't think that would have bothered her too much. I can't help but wonder if the situation would have been different if they had been less attractive.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Never in the very nasty negative way but MD has hit me on occasion with "you really thought she was attractive?" and I have learned that it's more often a feeling of (very slight, lol) guilt, like she thought I took one for the team. My response is pretty simple - "why do you think I close my eyes a lot?" :lol: Just kidding!!!

 

I do not ever agree with taking one for the team but at the same time, we are not always going to find that perfect match. She found the husband more attractive than her and despite we both agreed that there was a disparity between the two (him being more attractive than her), it still shows how shallow we are sometimes to not think they are having the same exact conversation about us? And at the heart of the question the answer is that they have all been attractive enough.

 

It sounds kind of cold stated so bluntly but the fact remains that almost every encounter is like this to some degree and while we are pondering if we really want to sleep with another couple, they too are pondering the same thing and I expect applying the same measure against us. So yes, honey, I thought she was attractive.

[rick181au 85]

Have been down that road ourselves a few times, going back in the 80’s B C (before computers and mobile phones) we were into meeting guys for M F M threesomes through swinging sex magazines, it was a complicated procedure of placing or replying to an add “with fee attached” and making contact by snail mail you finally made contact by phone to arrange a face to face meeting. Our modus operandi was to meet at a hotel not far from our place, if the guy was OK the wife would give me the signal and I would invite him back to our place for sexy fun and games.

 

A few times the wife gave the OK signal to a guy that I thought she would not be interested in and when I quizzed her about it she said we were only after a quick romp in the hay (bed) not a life time commitment “which was true” she thought that as long as the guy was clean, respectful and could hold a reasonable conversation why not after all we had gone through the ritual to make contact to meet him.

 

And she was right some of the guys I thought she would say NO to turned out to be just the sort of guys we were looking for, we have it so easy these days with computers and chat rooms.

 

PS we are still meeting guys through chat rooms where you can view each other on web cams, still very sexy.

[81lizard69 470]

We have had that conversation before.. Twice once in a night. We went to a party and ended up on a bed with a three couples.. It was hot.. But there were two men there I did not think my wife would like but she fucked them.. The first was a guy that was short. I mean really short ! I asked her about him and she said he was fun.. then I asked her about the other guy.. she spent almost a hour with him.. He was a heavy man.. Turns out he his hung like a horse and that's why.. She said in a matter of fact tone.. That night was one of those nights that were in my favor.. The women at the party were definable better looking than the men.

[DigginIt 1,132]

We have had that conversation before.. Twice once in a night. We went to a party and ended up on a bed with a three couples.. It was hot.. But there were two men there I did not think my wife would like but she fucked them.. The first was a guy that was short. I mean really short ! I asked her about him and she said he was fun.. then I asked her about the other guy.. she spent almost a hour with him.. He was a heavy man.. Turns out he his hung like a horse and that's why.. She said in a matter of fact tone.. That night was one of those nights that were in my favor.. The women at the party were definable better looking than the men.

 

It happens that way sometimes but the important thing is that you both had fun and when you asked, she had perfectly good reasons for enjoying their company but had you not asked, you may have always wondered.

 

This isn't related to your post but as a side note, it's very important as a swinger that you don't judge your own spouse and essentially, that is what someone is doing when they make a comment like the thread subject states.

[81lizard69 470]

It happens that way sometimes but the important thing is that you both had fun and when you asked, she had perfectly good reasons for enjoying their company but had you not asked, you may have always wondered.

 

This isn't related to your post but as a side note, it's very important as a swinger that you don't judge your own spouse and essentially, that is what someone is doing when they make a comment like the thread subject states.

 

You are right I did judge.. I was thinking that they were not good enough for her.. I know that is not the best thought to have, but I own those.. We were really getting our feet under us and letting go of preconceived ideas about sex.. and then Bam.. turns out I still get them.

 

Communication is key for us, I am the talker in the relationship and I seem to be the one that gets bent more than my spouse. Thanks for pointing out my judgement I did not see it.. Caution I am a man in progress. Constructive criticism may be taken poorly by myself... But don't worry I will get over me..

[DigginIt 1,132]

Thanks for pointing out my judgement I did not see it.. Caution I am a man in progress. Constructive criticism may be taken poorly by myself... But don't worry I will get over me..

 

That seriously, wasn't really pointed at you but just something that popped in my head when I was writing the first part.

[Formybubu 55]

Since we go to a lot of house parties we tend to split up as we know most of the the people. But at one of the house parties where single men are allowed she is usually the one who bust the Virgin Single at the party.

 

So the only thing we ever say is did you have a good time? So this is never an issue with us.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I'm probably a little bit better at predicting her type of guy than she is me with another woman, but overall, we both usually can predict with a high degree of accuracy who is going to be hot for who. We know each other pretty well

[Alura 2,774]

 

A few times the wife gave the OK signal to a guy that I thought she would not be interested in and when I quizzed her about it she said we were only after a quick romp in the hay (bed) not a life time commitment “which was true” she thought that as long as the guy was clean, respectful and could hold a reasonable conversation why not after all we had gone through the ritual to make contact to meet him.

 

Our criteria was whether a couple was fun in a vanilla setting. If they made us laugh, we figured they'd understand "fucking for fun." Good point rickl81au! You married a wise woman, but you knew that, didn't you?

[Baconheads 432]

This question is for those of us who feel free, after we arriving at a house party or club party, to sometimes or even most times split up and go separate ways to find our own fun. Has your spouse or SO on the drive home ever expressed disapproval or simple surprise by saying, "I can't believe you fucked that" or something having similar meaning like, "I think you could do better than her (him)."

 

Question number two -- how would you answer that kind of question? Or would you maybe not try to answer it at all?

 

I love this thread. More importantly do you ask yourself the same question?

[Eddiem 139]

This question is for those of us who feel free, after we arriving at a house party or club party, to sometimes or even most times split up and go separate ways to find our own fun. Has your spouse or SO on the drive home ever expressed disapproval or simple surprise by saying, "I can't believe you fucked that" or something having similar meaning like, "I think you could do better than her (him)."

 

Question number two -- how would you answer that kind of question? Or would you maybe not try to answer it at all?

 

Funny you should mention it... no but I have thought about asking it myself. I would answer and would tell why (nice eyes ) whatever.

[padoc 1,703]

We have come to look at potential playmates not as 8 out of 10 or 4 out of 10 but as simply "doable". We tend to look for HWP couples but we've at one time or another been attracted to people that surprised us. Which kind of proves that attractiveness, particularly in sexually charged situations can be quite subjective.

 

One time that comes to mind occurred at Trapeze. We had met a couple around the dance floor and talked a bit but Mrs Doc said she wasn't interested in the guy, he did nothing for her. Later, we were in the back on the big bed under the mirrors playing together. Its kinda dark back there and at some point another couple laid down beside us. After a bit of kissing, I reached down to fondle my wife and found another hand there and she seemed to be enjoying herself. A little later, the woman crawled over and began to give me head. I was surprised to see that it was the couple from earlier. Anyway, we spent about an hour with them and had a great time. Mrs Doc had a better time than I but, hell, who's complaining? As we drove back to the hotel I asked her what changed her mind about the guy

[adamgunn 1,460]

I never had that problem with my wife - if she found the guy attractive, that was good enough for me. Since I almost always asked her why she found that particular guy attractive, I had a good idea of what floated her boat. Every once in awhile she surprised me, but that was fine by me.

[ChaTam 43]

Now we are new, and we are only soft swap

 

This... It makes it sound like you feel soft swap is somehow beneath full swap. You are not ONLY soft swap... You're a soft swap lifestyle couple. My wife and I are full swap but we are not in any way superior to you and how you choose to play. I know, off topic but soft swap couples sometimes come across as if they're less than full swap couples. Even worse, full swap couples that come across as if they're superior. Sorry about the random rant...

[adamgunn 1,460]

Great point, ChaTam. Each couple practices the LifeStyle in their own way. As long as it makes them - and the people they interact with - happy, who are we to judge?

[Ems101 24]

I think this probably happens to everyone who likes to sleep around a lot, lol.

 

I've been to some parties and have never even seen the guys faces/bodies, for various scenarios!