Swinging not working for both of us - please help.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Hi funcoupledayton,

 

Dancing is very big here. Especially country and western. Line dancing is done. Not many songs are played for it. Less than 10 usually. Couple dancing is the main attraction. We took dance lessons for 2 years. My husband is very good at it and also has no problem asking the ladies to dance. He usually wears them out and himself too. We've gone to several outings were the couples were in the lifestyle. We had a great time. But, that has led no where for him yet.

 

I agree the PDA is a good idea. We will give it a shot at the next party. We're looking into some new clothes as well. He hasn't given up. It's just been tough on him. He feels he's put forth as much effort or more than most guys do. I have to admit that it's strange he hasn't found anyone in awhile. I sometimes wonder if their are a lot of non serious swingers out their. Seems their are some that we've never seen play.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Hi everyone,

Just an update. No luck yet, but, we have some get togethers including 1 party coming in a couple of weeks. I have given up all my guy friends for now till we can work through this. My husband told me not to, but, I think it was best for his feelings. I want him to have success also. I do appreciate all the advice.

[Guy1964 177]

First, let me say I'm not entitled to have an opinion on this subject. I've thought a lot about it, since I was there before. Not as a swinger, just as a guy wanting to be successful with women. One of my female friends was talking about a guy we worked with, and she said that he was ok but "he tries too hard." It really doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with your husband. From your description, is it possible he's just trying too hard?

[latin2012 22]

I have given up all my guy friends for now till we can work through this. My husband told me not to, but, I think it was best for his feelings..

just wanted to say, that was a pretty cool move on your part. Been there where I (hubby) felt not wanted also, and wife said well "we" don't have to be there. It does make the other person feel better.

[losAmantes 318]

Find new groups then. We only play as a couple.

Have to agree with Chicup on that. Maybe you're just not running with the right crowd. You're right not to play unless he finds someone. A man's ego is a very fragile thing and when it's damaged women can smell it a mile away and they steer clear. Maybe best just to hang back at parties together as a couple and see if you can draw in any couples that want to play with both of you.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Hi everyone, it was not a biggie giving up the guys. My husband comes first and the others were just for fun . We're hoping to have an update soon on our progress. I agree we haven't been hanging with the right crowd. But, it's not been easy to find a different crowd.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Hi everyone. We have a possible date with a couple Saturday night. Hoping all goes well. We may have good news to share.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Time for an update. We went out Saturday and met a very nice couple. After dinner and a bunch of talking, we ended up in bed with them for a wonderful full swap. My husband did well and kept his confidence the entire time. Step 1 over. Theirs a swing party Saturday night. We're gonna try to make it. Hopefully his confidence will still be high. Thanks again everyone.

[JB 140]

Agree with all of the scientific approach suggestions but…

I have been in the same situation before where all of the attention of the ladies went to other guys or worse, my wife LOL. But there have been other times where it seems there are too many to choose from, and then I go home trying to scientifically figure out what I did right LOL. Sometimes its just the luck of the draw.

 

Agreeing with others above, if we work the crowd TOGETHER, both talking, engaging, flirting, people see that and are attracted to the fun we are displaying as a couple, even if we later intend on going our separate ways.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Hi everyone. It's been awhile since we had an update. We ended up swapping with the couple we met one more time, but haven't since then. Schedules haven't aligned. We also have not been able to secure any invites to parties. Then, my husband became sick with stomach problems for 2 -3 months. Plus i have had bronchitis for 2 months. And now i have a broke foot. That ended our swinging. Plus it caused him to even lose interest in sex with me some. we went from 3-4 times a week to 2-3 times a month. I know his confidence is gone fully. He has given up on looking or wanting to go to parties. And honestly, I have given up as well. Seems the people that show interest, theirs always some reason why we don't connect. I know we've discussed all this. We still have our sls ad but haven't replied to anyone else. I know he wants to enjoy this lifestyle again as well as me. So now I ask you for advice on when you step away for a lengthy break, we're you able to restart and be successful? Would you delete a long standing sls ad and then create a new one later? 2013 has been an awful year for us on many fronts. Hope the new year comes quick. Thanks y'all. Mrs. Sexyhornycouple

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Hi everyone. It's been awhile since we had an update. We ended up swapping with the couple we met one more time, but haven't since then. Schedules haven't aligned. We also have not been able to secure any invites to parties. Then, my husband became sick with stomach problems for 2 -3 months. Plus i have had bronchitis for 2 months. And now i have a broke foot. That ended our swinging. Plus it caused him to even lose interest in sex with me some. we went from 3-4 times a week to 2-3 times a month. I know his confidence is gone fully. He has given up on looking or wanting to go to parties. And honestly, I have given up as well. Seems the people that show interest, theirs always some reason why we don't connect. I know we've discussed all this. We still have our sls ad but haven't replied to anyone else. I know he wants to enjoy this lifestyle again as well as me. So now I ask you for advice on when you step away for a lengthy break, we're you able to restart and be successful? Would you delete a long standing sls ad and then create a new one later? 2013 has been an awful year for us on many fronts. Hope the new year comes quick. Thanks y'all. Mrs. Sexyhornycouple

 

I'm sorry to hear about all of the health issues you two have been having and hope the coming year will be a more healthy one. As for the SLS ad, if you two are somewhat certain that you two will return to the swinging scene in the future, I'd keep it around but state on there that you two are taking a break due to health issues but intend to return in the future. I don't know if it's a paid account or not but I'd much rather just update an account than go through the hassle of setting a brand new one up.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I'm sorry for your various challenges. It sounds like a couple of things are going on and maybe you might want to address them separately. First, is your husband being treated for depression, low testosterone or sleep issues? In your original thread you said it had been quite a while before he'd played with anyone and he was lacking in confidence and ready to give up. Now, although the two of you have swapped, you say he has no confidence, is uninterested in swinging and the sex between the two of you is quite limited as well. That sounds more like a medical issue than one of confidence.

 

As to your SLS profile, I feel like crap, so we've been on an extended break. I hung a "gone fishing" sign on our ad and haven't checked it in months and that's what works for us. But...I think you two might need a reboot, so unless you're lifetime members, you might want to delete your account, work on your various health issues, get your husband to a doctor because something's not right, start a gentle exercise program the two of you can do together and then, when sex between you is great and the world looks like a pretty bright place, create a new ad. New wording, new photos, new everything.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

He has been to a doctor. When we have sex he tears me a new one. I do think he's depressed. Many things have gone wrong for him last year. He had to turn down a promotion at work, now being sick, struggling with swinging, plus me being sick, struggling with his weight, plus he hasn't been able to have a real vacation in 7 years. I've heard him say that he needs one. We just can't with this economy were in. Many factors. So yes I do think he has confidence issues. He enjoys meeting people. Enjoys the socializing. I wish some things would start going right for a change. And I do think an ad can get old on sls and everyone sees the name and remembers it. Thanks everyone for the support.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Hello everyone, well that blew up at me like a bomb. I told my husband we should just stop for awhile and he got mad at me. Said we've had some issues but he's a problem solver and he's working on it. He has dropped weight, a lot more to go, but is feeling a lot better and went and bought some new clothes. He wants to change our ad pics and try to get some couples. He says the cooler months are coming and that's when he wants to get out. If we stop now were cutting out time short. So, don't count us out yet.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

I have to ask a question. We discussed clothing before. Was a lot of different opinions. I need a favor. Can y'all give me pictures of what you guys wear? I'm not looking to copy but to get ideas of what works for y'all. When we go shopping for my husband, we end up confused. He wants to dress to impress the ladies. Thanks y'all.

[exploringRM 305]

Usually when we go to a swing club I will wear somewhat dress pants (more than jeans or cargos) and a button down shirt. I sometimes will wear nice jeans and either a button down or polo/golf type shirt if it's to a M&G at a local vanilla bar. Not really tons of options for guys like there are for women.

[AR1547 131]

From what I witness, I don't feel it's all his fault. It's the women. They don't know him, but, are in their comfort zone with the other men they have known for possibly years. I wanna call it a clique but then again it seems its not.

 

You reminded me of something that happened to us at a club once. Robin and the Mr. of another couple were really into each other, and wanted us all to hook up. I would have with his wife, but it was clear that she had absolutely no interest in me. Robin was borderline pissed off that time, normally she doesn't get that way about rejection. Robin said the same thing to me that you say here about your husband. "she doesn't know you and if she did blah blah blah". I wasn't concerned about it but I had to point out to her something that seems obvious to me, it could have been my hair, my clothes, my facial hair, my weight, whatever. For some reason that woman looked at me and something she saw turned her off to the point that she didn't even want to speak to me.

 

I'll say the same thing to you that I said to her that night. How many men have YOU rejected immediately based on some superficial appearance? She's just doing the same thing you've done a thousand times before. It's not a character flaw on her part.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

I agree that it's not a character flaw on the ladies. I just don't have the answer why the rejection is party wide. You'd think out of 15 women, 1 would like him.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I agree that it's not a character flaw on the ladies. I just don't have the answer why the rejection is party wide. You'd think out of 15 women, 1 would like him.

 

We went to a party that was a bit like that. I think it was more that there was a cliquish feeling where the women were all really close and gossiped with each other. If one didn't like him, then all didn't like him. We moved on and met with other groups after that night.

[Chicup 41]

Swinging is a journey not a destination. I don't say this as a cliche, I hate that cliche, I'm a destination guy personally, but in this case its the truth. As a couple you have a lot of other issues on the plate, health, work, etc.

 

The trick is quite frankly not giving a fuck about swinging. If it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. For most people swinging isn't a bang on, one party after another fuck fest. It can be, but that gets old just like anything else in life. Its a fun diversion when its there, it something to look forward to, but life goes on.

 

Just have a plan, and keep improving.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Swinging is a journey not a destination. I don't say this as a cliche, I hate that cliche, I'm a destination guy personally, but in this case its the truth. As a couple you have a lot of other issues on the plate, health, work, etc.

 

The trick is quite frankly not giving a fuck about swinging. If it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. For most people swinging isn't a bang on, one party after another fuck fest. It can be, but that gets old just like anything else in life. Its a fun diversion when its there, it something to look forward to, but life goes on.

 

Just have a plan, and keep improving.

 

I have to agree but it's one of those things that people have to go through to learn. I remember being caught up in having to do this or that and getting frustrated when it wasn't happening. When it finally did and/or kept happening to the point that it wasn't as fun, that's when I realized that the journey/steps/experience leading to the destination was what I should have been focusing on. Unfortunately, being told to enjoy the journey just didn't resonate until I personally had that epiphany. This doesn't just apply to swinging.

[Chicup 41]

I have to agree but it's one of those things that people have to go through to learn. I remember being caught up in having to do this or that and getting frustrated when it wasn't happening. When it finally did and/or kept happening to the point that it wasn't as fun, that's when I realized that the journey/steps/experience leading to the destination was what I should have been focusing on. Unfortunately, being told to enjoy the journey just didn't resonate until I personally had that epiphany. This doesn't just apply to swinging.

 

There is a flip side to this of course....

 

 

Some aspects of life are a journey and some are most definitely a destination. When you have a destination in mind the journey can suck but you do it because you know where you want to get. For me, my degree was a destination, there was a shitty journey and a good end point. My body was a destination. It was a shitty long journey of weight loss and lifting heavy things, but the destination was the goal.

 

Now that I have my degrees I can enjoy the journey, now that I am in shape I do enjoy the routine, but without that end point it would never have been worth it. I think this is a great subject for discussion even if it doesn't really belong here.

 

Swinging on the flip side is one of those life things that really is a journey, but I suppose thats true of all hobbies. If my goal were to open a swing club, it would become a destination, but being there is no "end point" for swinging, and we have had wonderful life changing experiences with it, and completely awful experiences with it and will again, its definitely the journey.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Hi everyone,

I do believe these parties we have gone to are a clique group and were not in the clique. I can succeed way better than my husband, but, that's not fair for him. We have tried different parties and groups as well as clubs, but, it's all the same people. We do try to go above and beyond with looks. Weight is an issue, but, from what I saw it shouldn't be as some others need to lose weight also. The idea of the clique is fine. We understand people have friends and we are outsiders. Sometimes though I feel that some of the people get jealous if their friends talk to someone new. The hosts of these parties are poor at leading the group. Mostly just providing a home for people to come to. We try to socialize with people between parties as much as we can, but, it has made little difference. The parties out their are difficult for newbies. We saw another very nice well dressed couple their that was not in the clique either. They didn't fair well either. You probably ask why we didn't move in and get going? Well, he had issues with he was guarding her. You could tell they weren't secure. We are secure. My husband don't hover over me like a vulture. I could have gotten laid, but that would have left my husband out. None of these parties have couples swapping. It's each for their own. We might be best to stick with sls and privately meet a couple. Not sure of the direction to take to be honest.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

For me, my degree was a destination, there was a shitty journey and a good end point. My body was a destination. It was a shitty long journey of weight loss and lifting heavy things, but the destination was the goal.

 

I see learning as a life long journey and the same for weight loss/weight management. Saying that either is a destination doesn't really make sense to me personally because it's not that you stop learning in your field/career. There are always new things that are incorporated. And with weight loss, it's not like you exercise and eat healthy for a certain amount of time to lose weight and then go back to old habits when you've reached your goal. It's a life long journey to keep on exercising and eating healthy.

 

The parties out their are difficult for newbies. We saw another very nice well dressed couple their that was not in the clique either. They didn't fair well either. You probably ask why we didn't move in and get going? Well, he had issues with he was guarding her. You could tell they weren't secure. We are secure. My husband don't hover over me like a vulture. I could have gotten laid, but that would have left my husband out. None of these parties have couples swapping. It's each for their own. We might be best to stick with sls and privately meet a couple. Not sure of the direction to take to be honest.

 

I have no problem with Mr. Sun playing by himself but if I'm nervous or I am not sure what to do, I do stick close to him. Do I mean to do that? No, but I stay close to someone/something that makes me feel safe. Perhaps this couple "wasn't secure" or perhaps they also were nervous and couldn't break through the clique. When there are newbies/new-to-the-group couples, I think they should at least introduce each other and be friendly. Talking to them doesn't mean that you want to play with them. Instead of seeing this as a goal of playing with someone every time you go out, make a goal of meeting new people. You never know...perhaps you misjudged them and they are really nice people. Sometimes people can surprise you...and sometimes even you can surprise yourself.

 

Unless you're in a small town where it's always the same group of people getting together (if so, then try traveling to a nearby city to swing), stop going to these parties with these people. But in order to meet new people, you have to be willing to introduce yourselves to other couples. Even if you aren't attracted to them, perhaps that couple throws parties where you can meet other couples. Call it swinger networking!

 

Perhaps you can host your own small party (without the cliquish couples). But remember to be the host and hostess that you wish others were--mingle, introduce couples to one another, be friendly, etc.--and keep in mind that every party is different. Some parties will be great and some will not be as great.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

There is something to be said for an "I don't give a damn" attitude.

 

I do not know what it is, but when you are anxious to meet people, it can sometimes act as a repellent.

 

If you are there to enjoy each others company and really don't care if you meet anyone else, it is entirely different vibe. Kind of like the guy in college that couldn't get a date. When he finally starts dating someone and is attached, girls are sticking phone numbers in his shirt pocket.

 

I am not saying be an ass. Mingle, talk, be friendly but go with the attitude (not just the facade) that it is all good as long as your partner is happy. Some of the best times I have had meeting women is when they were the last thing on my mind.

 

As for over dressing, unless it is extreme, like tails at a beach party, I wouldn't worry about it for a second. Being well dressed is never bad. Hell, even if it is tails a beach party, get rid of the coat and tie, roll your cuffs up a couple of times, drop the top couple button and shoes/socks, maybe roll your pants legs up to keep them out of the water and you still the best dressed causal guy at the party. I actually did this when I was younger, leaving one party and going to another. The lady's thought it was sexy and I had the time of my life. I am not sure if it was how I was dressed or the fact I didn't let it bother me at all, but it worked.

 

Well dressed and the right attitude is a powerful combination.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

If you are there to enjoy each others company and really don't care if you meet anyone else, it is entirely different vibe.

 

This is true. The times we have hooked up with complete strangers at a club have always been the nights we had going with the intent of finding someone to play with the the farthest from our mind.

 

My advice is to just keep trying out different parties until you find one that feels like a good fit, and when you do, things will probably start to fall into place. As to the other couple that you thought were outsiders too and therefore might be a good match, just because there were some things that you picked up on that might not have made them good playmates, there was an opportunity there for swinger networking. Just talking to them a bit, you might have gotten a lead on some other places to try that while might not have been for them, might turn out to be perfect for you. Or, maybe they had some friends that were feeling the same way about the local scene, and before you know it, you have enough for your own little party, or something like that. If someone else seems like a kindred spirit in some way, it's always worth introducing yourselves. It may end there, or it may turn into a really good contact.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Hi everyone. We realize this is a journey. We've done this in the past. Took a few years off and began going to a nudist resort. Had some great experiences their, but, it's tapered as people their grew older. We've wanted to get back into the lifestyle outside the nudist resort. Boy, were we ever challenged. Back in the old days, we were swinging almost every weekend. Then, we got burned out on it and wanted a change. This was about 8 years ago. We didn't think it would be this challenging. Last year we decided to venture to some parties. We kept our sls ad all these years. I don't want everyone to think we haven't scientifically thought this out. We have changed our ad, changed parties, changed our style, clothes, attitude. Everything. The lifestyle has changed. Couples used to play together. Now, we see this new style of swinging. The couples don't stay together. They split up. The girls go play with other girls. I'm not bi. I might suck some nipples but no interest in more. The guys have to fend for themselves. Some guys easily get ladies. Others, just watch and try. The one common thing we see is all the women after the other women. Plus, they get so drunk they can't stand up. We are old style. We want to play as a couple with another couple. Their has been discussions about this new style of swinging within the groups we are in. It seems the ladies love it, but the guys don't because they often don't get involved. We witness this more at house parties, but, have some at the clubs too.

 

The other concern we've seen is invites to parties. We never get to go to many house parties because they are by invite only and people only pick within their clique. They just don't want to venture out to new folks. The hosts say they just don't have enough house space to invite a large crowd and feel that they must only invite the ones they know. So, we're back to sls again where we don't get many replies. We've tried to approach people and never get a response. Not sure why people can't just say no thanks. At least we would know. But, to sum up, we've been sad of the results we've had with the amount of effort and money we've put forth. One couple in 2-3 years I don't find being successful.

[Chicup 41]

There is an old saying.

 

If you can't join them, beat them.

 

Start your own house party, with blackjack, and hookers! (Ok most of you won't get that, two4 will).

 

But seriously, do your own thing. Quit worrying about cliques and what the "new" swinging is. Our swinging is apparently "old" swinging since we don't do only GG and we only swing with couples.

 

If your area is some sort of swinging waste land now, plan swinger vacations.

 

Complaining about it isn't going to help. Being proactive will.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

I use the term old style because back many years ago we went to parties and couples stuck together. Now, it's not like that. They leave together still but thats it. We would love to host a party. We just don't have the house to host one in at the current time and would need to find a place.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I use the term old style because back many years ago we went to parties and couples stuck together. Now, it's not like that. They leave together still but thats it. We would love to host a party. We just don't have the house to host one in at the current time and would need to find a place.

 

Rent a hotel room for the night and split the cost between all the couples attending.

[AR1547 131]

I agree that it's not a character flaw on the ladies. I just don't have the answer why the rejection is party wide. You'd think out of 15 women, 1 would like him.

 

There has been many a night when we were in a club full of people, 100-200 or more, and we failed to meet anyone.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

There is an old saying.

 

If you can't join them, beat them.

 

Start your own house party, with blackjack, and hookers! (Ok most of you won't get that, two4 will).

 

But seriously, do your own thing. Quit worrying about cliques and what the "new" swinging is. Our swinging is apparently "old" swinging since we don't do only GG and we only swing with couples.

 

If your area is some sort of swinging waste land now, plan swinger vacations.

 

Complaining about it isn't going to help. Being proactive will.

 

I totally agree with this! We run a meet and greet. I'm not an event planner, we've only been swinging a few years, but I took it on wholeheartedly. It is amazing. It is a little work, but so worth it! Now we meet tons of people, the kind of people we want to be friends with and play with. Being proactive and having a positive attitude make a huge difference. You can find people who want to play the way you do and are looking for the same things you are.

[AR1547 131]

For most people swinging isn't a bang on, one party after another fuck fest. It can be, but that gets old just like anything else in life.

 

We've had up and down phases. I wouldn't have believed it when we were new, but the bang on fuck fest really can get old, and has a couple of times over the 5 years we've done this.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

We would love to get into just 1 fuck fest. We haven't done one since I'd say 2000 or 2001.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Ok. We agree that dressing to impress is highly important. However, we've done that. And we've seen cocky guys get women too. We've got some ideas were gonna try. We think the house parties are the problem. We don't swing separately. They do at the house parties. We are gonna attempt to set up our own group and get couples that want to swing together. We might be surprised and find more than we want. But, this is our only path we see. Remember the couple we were jumping in joy about a few posts back? Well,we think they are gonna stand us up because they won't finalize the plan. Still a week and a half away, but, we just know how people are that wont fully commit. I sincerely hope that these asymmetric swingers are getting what they want.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Hi everyone,

 

I thought an update was due and also had a question for everyone. We've continued to attend parties and write people on sls. We've decided that this year was just a bad year for us and hope a better year next year is in store. The parties have been a blast. Both of us had great times but no connections yet. But we have met a bunch of people that seem to like us. We are hoping that this creates some fun for us in the future. We have to stick to house parties and meeting couples for dinner. We just can't budget a swing club no matter how much we would like. I know we have hashed this over and over. But feel like we are still on first base. My question is this. Do you feel like a total make over of our ad, pictures and all would be helpful? Also, would a paid ad be more successful? Thanks.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

In regard to your last question, paid advertisement definitely brings greater success. I don't know about others, but when I get a note from a so-called "free" ad, my suspicion flag immediately raises.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

Yes I can see why people would be suspicious. We've had our ad for years. We go through lengthy dry spells of no responses. I don't think our pictures look appealing to people. Their not sexy.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Yes I can see why people would be suspicious. We've had our ad for years. We go through lengthy dry spells of no responses. I don't think our pictures look appealing to people. Their not sexy.

 

Thanks for the update. I'm so glad you're meeting people.

 

I actually think profiles need periodic refreshing. That's particularly true for photos, which should be current and as attractive as possible. So, yes, fix that. For the rest, it's just not that expensive to have a paid membership and if it's at all possible, that will appeal to more people than a free membership.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

. . . I don't think our pictures look appealing to people. Their not sexy.

 

If what you mean by "sexy" is X-rated, then no, it will not make a profile more appealing. I firmly believe that profiles containing little more than pictures of the profile's owners in various states of undress attract the wrong kind of attention.

[TaP4u2 15]

Yes I can see why people would be suspicious. We've had our ad for years. We go through lengthy dry spells of no responses. I don't think our pictures look appealing to people. Their not sexy.

 

Hi there.. I don't think your profile is going to come off as suspicious.. You do have a bit of a unique dynamic with the female being 10+ years older than the male. That will effect the pool of possible partners (at least in regards to couples)... Also I've seen it noted that the sites all have some regions where they are much more popular. I think in Texas SDC is very popular - you might try creating a profile there and see what type of action you get during the free period..

 

I would agree with the previous poster about pictures - close up photos of boobs/butts and genitals does nothing for me when reading a profile, if anything they are a turn off.

[sexyhornycouple 122]

I wasn't thinking about x rated pics. I'm thinking along the lines of sexy attire. We used to have some on their. Lingerie pics. Well lighted. They were took at a swing club we used to go to that closed. They had a photographer their that did 30 mins for $20. He had props, and lights. Made for great pictures. No genitals or even boobs seen. Those got outdated and we haven't been able to get new ones made. On our age. It has been a factor with some people. But only maybe 10%. My husband is very mature so he fits in well. Our pics I think lack sexiness. We're not getting people to answer our ad. We are meeting people but just not getting to 2nd base. All the parties we have attended, no one plays at them. So, I don't think it's just us not finding people. We've tried different groups and different ones. Seems like people don't want to like they used to. Hopefully we will next year. My husband is depressed about it. And I don't have answers for him. But, maybe next year will go better.