Would you play with kids in the house?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

We've been swinging for a few years now. Our kids are school aged. We have a great house for entertaining. Our basement door locks and we have an intercom/monitor for when the kids are in bed and we're downstairs. My question is, how would you feel about coming over and possibly playing with friends who are in a similar situation to ours?

 

We would only invite people we know and have met previously in public, and have them over after the kids have gone to bed.

 

What's your opinion?

[angelkin 1,326]

We had the opportunity to meet such a couple who had a very young children, who would be in bed and we could play while they slept, but we declined. That being said, we're not really kid people and I think we would've been uncomfortable.

[VegasLee 1,486]

NO.

 

We would not play with anyone that would do that either.

 

Anyone that does has not spent enough time listening to the news and the things that end up in court these days.

[LFM2 1,482]

Nope

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

No, and it wouldn't matter how well we knew you or how much we liked you. Of necessity, I've had sex with Mr. Doe and my ex-husband when kids were in the house, but never with anyone else.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

No, and it wouldn't matter how well we knew you or how much we liked you. Of necessity, I've had sex with Mr. Doe and my ex-husband when kids were in the house, but never with anyone else.

 

What is different about having a threesome with an ex and playing with someone you are close friends with?

[JandKinBoise 858]

We did when we were kids, the kids we were playing with had kids. It was never planned, booze and attraction sometimes led to some form of group sex. We probably did that 3 or 4 times, kids never woke up but we were pretty reserved back then. Today, my mother in law lives with us, She's here 24/7. Even though she's in bed by 9, no way would we host. We both have trouble letting loose with her in the house. Our best sex happens in the RV parking spot next to the house in our van. ug Playing requires a quiet private place. Plenty of stuff to worry about with out jr wandering in. "And you spank me for sucking my THUMB??"

[2plus2fun 143]

We have a 6 year old daughter. We have played at our house but we have a 3 floor townhouse and the door to the third floor where the master bedroom is locks.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

What is different about having a threesome with an ex and playing with someone you are close friends with?

 

Oh dear God, how easily grammar leads us astray! I'd never, ever have a threesome that included my ex-husband. What I meant was that in the 21 years since my first child was born, I've only had sex with two people - and years separated those two relationships - while my kids were home.

[Chicup 41]

We have before with toddler and younger children.

 

We would NEVER with older. We met a couple once with two kids, one was 12. They wanted to play and said "their daughter just locks her door and never comes out of her room."

 

I wonder why

[Brian and Jo 344]

We agree with those who said absolutely not. The risk of getting caught and having some awkward explaining to do is far too high.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

My ex and I met a couple years ago that had kids. We all went out on their boat together (with their kids) and later they wanted to play with the kids in the house (in bed). I think we may have done so (but it's been so long now I can't remember). I know that in the end the whole kids thing was something that left me uncomfortable enough to not want to continue to see them. And since that encounter I've avoided any possibility of such a thing happening.

 

Pet and I really aren't kid-friendly people in general, so we do our best to avoid them altogether. If someone tells us their kids are going to be home (even in a vanilla situation) we do our best to avoid their house and if we are around kids we do our best to avoid any seeming impropriety.

 

I guess my thoughts would be that even though the kids are upstairs and there's a lock between levels, they can still see that there is an extra car in the driveway and, especially if they are older, they can put two and two together and know that you are up to something you obviously don't want them to know about.

[drinnt 201]

We've been swinging for a few years now. Our kids are school aged. We have a great house for entertaining. Our basement door locks and we have an intercom/monitor for when the kids are in bed and we're downstairs. My question is, how would you feel about coming over and possibly playing with friends who are in a similar situation to ours?

 

We would only invite people we know and have met previously in public, and have them over after the kids have gone to bed.

 

What's your opinion?

 

My wife and I have been in this situation where a couple we were over the moon about had kids. We had NO PROBLEMS playing with their kids in the house...mostly because THEY had no problems. The situation was secure and they were comfortable managing it - so we were comfortable trusting them and after all it's THEIR choice.

 

It really goes to show that if a couple likes you enough they will be willing to make any rationalization necessary to be with you (within some reason of course).

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Oh dear God, how easily grammar leads us astray! I'd never, ever have a threesome that included my ex-husband. What I meant was that in the 21 years since my first child was born, I've only had sex with two people - and years separated those two relationships - while my kids were home.

 

Ooh, sorry. That is kind of funny!

[M&S 266]

We would have considered it when our kids were babies, but not now. Even though they very rarely come downstairs after we put them to bed (they sleep on the 3rd floor and our living room is in the basement so 3 floors of separation) it would be too embarrassing (and perhaps traumatizing) if they did.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

My wife and I have been in this situation where a couple we were over the moon about had kids. We had NO PROBLEMS playing with their kids in the house...mostly because THEY had no problems. The situation was secure and they were comfortable managing it - so we were comfortable trusting them and after all it's THEIR choice.

 

It really goes to show that if a couple likes you enough they will be willing to make any rationalization necessary to be with you (within some reason of course).

 

So are you saying that when you think about it it's something you wouldn't do... but given the right couple and the right amount of "I really want to fuck them" you'd do it anyway?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Ooh, sorry. That is kind of funny!

 

Yep, except for the anxiety attack the thought of it produced.

[shy_couple 459]

Seems like this may be a bit of a touchy subject but 110% agree with VegasLee. No way, no how. We feel as parents ourselves that it is a terrible idea and if this is the type of judgement that you use when swinging we don't want to be party to it. For us anyway, it is proof of a bad decision so we have no idea what other bad decisions have been made (unprotected sex, drugs, cheating, etc.).

 

We do apologize to those of our who feel differently, we all have choices to make. Planning for our children (no hosting, babysitters, hotel rooms) really does put serious limits on how often we can meet or play. But it is a price we pay to keep our ''real life'' and ''fantasy worlds'' separate. And we prefer to be with people who have similar sensibilities to our own.

[Chicup 41]

Someone explain the poor judgment of playing with a 2 year old in the house. I'm dying to hear the logic

[drinnt 201]

So are you saying that when you think about it it's something you wouldn't do... but given the right couple and the right amount of "I really want to fuck them" you'd do it anyway?

 

I can only speak of the perspective of the couple COMING INTO A HOUSE with kids. I cannot speak from the standpoint of the parents. If the parents are okay with it we are okay with it. If the parents have reservations then we would pick up on that and ANY source of reservations can fuck up a sexy vibe. So if the parents are okay with it...and the other couple is REALLY into them...then I say go for it. Parents that choose to play with their kids in the house are making their own life choice...if a couple likes them enough and have no moral reservations then they will not be bothered by the kids being in the house.

 

That's my perspective and certainly not to say that everyone should feel that way. I know a lot of people have baseline objections to this scenario out of the gate. For the sake of the parents originally posting...there are couples who won't give it a second thought...so just take care of what you need to for you as a parent. If a couple accepts coming into your house to play...then accept their accepting it and have fun.

[drinnt 201]

Someone explain the poor judgment of playing with a 2 year old in the house. I'm dying to hear the logic

 

Personal choice. That's really it.

[km34 672]

We have played in a house with a kid home. I wouldn't with kids over 2, but really young kids that you can generally hear coming. As long as the parents are okay with it (and there is sufficient space far enough away from the kid's room), I'm okay with it.

[kellimc 227]

Most of the responses in this thread are by people who wish to keep their lifestyle secret from their kids. When I was growing up, my brother and I knew that our parents were swingers, as they were open about it. Sometimes they would invite their lifestyle friends over and those friends would bring their kids who were close to our age. My brother and I would usually go to our room with the other kids to watch TV or just mess around like all kids do. Our parents were in another part of the house, either in their bedroom or the family room doing what swingers do. It was never an issue.

[Chicup 41]

Most of the responses in this thread are by people who wish to keep their lifestyle secret from their kids. When I was growing up, my brother and I knew that our parents were swingers, as they were open about it. Sometimes they would invite their lifestyle friends over and those friends would bring their kids who were close to our age. My brother and I would usually go to our room with the other kids to watch TV or just mess around like all kids do. Our parents were in another part of the house, either in their bedroom or the family room doing what swingers do. It was never an issue.

 

I think I'd have had a hard time at say 14 knowing my mom was getting nailed by some guy coming over.

[kellimc 227]

I think I'd have had a hard time at say 14 knowing my mom was getting nailed by some guy coming over.

 

I never looked at it that way because it wasn't that way.

[C@YWMI 15]

My wife and I have had sex with another couple with kids at home, at their house. We also have not played with a couple because there was a child at home. It is just a case of having good judgement and being discrete and comfortable in that scenario. and the funny thing it was with the same couple.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Someone explain the poor judgment of playing with a 2 year old in the house. I'm dying to hear the logic

 

Are you asking that we explain why it would be poor judgement? Or are you asking why someone would have said poor judgement?

[Chicup 41]

Are you asking that we explain why it would be poor judgement? Or are you asking why someone would have said poor judgement?

 

I'm just failing to see it as a judgment issue. Not wanting to I understand, especially if the other couple never had kids. I know when we started swinging we were put off by kids. As parents now we understand that dynamic better. But as a judgement call as in its "bad" I can't see it for very young children.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm just failing to see it as a judgment issue. Not wanting to I understand, especially if the other couple never had kids. I know when we started swinging we were put off by kids. As parents now we understand that dynamic better. But as a judgement call as in its "bad" I can't see it for very young children.

 

I think kids (even 2 year olds) see /remember much more than you think. They may not understand it but it affects them. I worked in a porn shop for years and our rule was under 18 was not allowed in (we didn't care if it was a baby in a carrier). I feel like that was a good rule and never understood why a parent would think it was a GOOD idea to bring a child or a baby in the store. So, while you ask how it might be bad judgement to swing with children in the home, I would ask how it would be GOOD judgement.

[Chicup 41]

I think kids (even 2 year olds) see /remember much more than you think. They may not understand it but it affects them. I worked in a porn shop for years and our rule was under 18 was not allowed in (we didn't care if it was a baby in a carrier). I feel like that was a good rule and never understood why a parent would think it was a GOOD idea to bring a child or a baby in the store. So, while you ask how it might be bad judgement to swing with children in the home, I would ask how it would be GOOD judgement.

 

Because, unless it is a double wide, they won't be in the room.

 

It's also rather unfair to try to switch the question around. Swinging alone can be considered possibly bad judgment if you think of STD risk or getting outted for some like teachers. Should they not swing?

 

What I see is more of a "icky" vibe by people, which as I said I can understand, but cloaking it as its somehow bad for kids seems like trying to justify a preference somehow.

[naturefun 174]

We've been swinging for a few years now. Our kids are school aged. We have a great house for entertaining. Our basement door locks and we have an intercom/monitor for when the kids are in bed and we're downstairs. My question is, how would you feel about coming over and possibly playing with friends who are in a similar situation to ours?

 

We would only invite people we know and have met previously in public, and have them over after the kids have gone to bed.

 

What's your opinion?

 

Depends on what you mean by school age. I think this is different for 7 vs 17.

 

If you mean younger school age, I think it just matters how disruptive this would be to your family's routine. If the kids wouldn't know the difference (i.e., they're in bed anyway and can get you easily if needed), then go for it. If you need to shuffle the kids somewhere in front of a movie with copious pizza and ice cream, then it's a judgement call I think every individual couple needs to make.

 

Older kids? I think that it's ok IF they know you swing. We all talk about how important it is for our kids to be open with us about any questions or concerns or thoughts they have about sex. How can they trust us if we're going to bring people into the house to have sex hoping they won't notice? Teenagers aren't dumb. Personally, I think this is a good teachable point. Raise your kids to be empowered to enjoy their own sexuality as they wish in a responsible manner. Have appropriate discretion, but don't hide the fact that you practice what you preach.

[pna42 67]

I couldn't do it. I've had the opportunity with couples who had kids of various ages but it makes me too uncomfortable.