One minute ready to go and the next...

[Sirramm 111]

Just a little over a year ago the wife and I started talking about swinging and my desire to be 'orally bi-sexual'...yes I made up the label because I ONLY want to suck a guy off with her 'flavor' on him and then eat his cum out of her -- trust me this portion of the show is still a work in progress even for me. So now that the subject has come up and the fact of my desire is 'out' we've watched a few MMF bi-sexual pornos and while we are watching them and discussing situations, feelings, emotions, and of course the desires she gets amped up and ready to go for it but as soon as the movie and discussions end she starts to back track and deny she was even remotely interested. Frustrating to say the least! I get you can't change the way someone feels and I'm ok with that but this mixed bag of signals I keep getting is driving me up a wall!!!

 

So now I'm ready to start looking for a bi guy online and set it up one night that he shows up at a specified time and BEFORE I get her off and basically spring it on her out of the blue and see how things go. I know probably NOT the best plan but damn I can't take her saying in the heat of the moment "God it would be hot to have sex with another guy while you watch and even hotter to watch you suck him after he's been inside me!" to go to, when the 'moment' is gone, "I NEVER SAID THAT!" I feel like this is probably the best way to proceed!

 

Thoughts, ideas, comments...

[lotsoffun201 175]

Ok, while not our "cup of tea" it seems to me like you are going to have some problems with this. As a general observation in the lifestyle it is accepted that women are Bi or Bi comfortable, where it is not all that accepted if the men are open about it. We suspect there are more men who are into this type of play than admit to.

 

Often times when watching a video and in the heat of the moments, one person says something and the other plays off of it. I know that Mrs Fun likes to watch porn sites where the men are jacking off alone or in a group. Its her thing and turns her on so thats fine with me. When we are watching something together I cannot get turned on by this. She knows that, so our video watching together is something that BOTH of us can get turned on by.

 

If this is TRULY your desire, and it appears that it is, perhaps the best way to approach it would be to discuss this with your wife when you are NOT watching a video together. That way you will know better how SHE feels about this. I don't think anyone could give you any true advice as to how to proceed with this since if your wife is not fine with it, then you might look for it alone, and that would make it cheating which we lifestyle people detest. If she is not fine with it and your desires are repressed, then you will have unfulfilled fantasies or desires which isn't fair to you.

 

Either way, best of luck to you

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I think just springing it on her would be a train wreck.

 

I would just talk to her at a non-sexual time about your confusion and frustration with the change in attitude when she is turned on vs. after the orgasm.

 

I'm not sure if you've just been talking for a year or actually have started swinging? But maybe some baby steps toward your fantasy are in order. going to a club and being in group play environments, but not playing may help to expand your dialog. (I will say that you are highly unlikely to see bi-male at a swing club), but just the swing environment might be helpful. Making an online profile together and IM'ing together with bi guys might be a good step also.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Just springing it on her is about the worst thing you could do. If you think she's has "buyers remorse" after just fantasizing about it, how much worse would it be if she actually did it in the heat of the moment and then felt guilty afterward? That level of guilt and negative feelings could likely spell the end of your relationship.

 

What you need to do is ask yourself what is most important to you. Is it your relationship with her? Or is it acting out this fantasy? If it's her, then be patient and enjoy the fantasy for as long as it takes for her to be ok with actually seeing it happen. If it's the fantasy then let her go and go act out your fantasy on your own.

 

Now that we've addressed that.... Have you talked to her about why she is wary of actually acting on the fantasy? Is it guilt? Is it fear that you might like being with guys more than her? Is it fear that she might enjoy being with another guy more than with you? Is it something else entirely. As a couple you need to be able to talk through these questions openly and honestly. If you can't do that, then you definitely don't need to swing.

[Daggers 15]

I think lotsoffun201 is spot on when they say lots of guys might want to do this but are unwilling to admit it. Personally it's not for me but I could likely deal with being cleaned off this way. It's not a matcho thing where I am too manly to have a dick in my mouth. It's just a piece of flesh, but for me it's an act of submission maybe I don't know. I haven't really explored the thought. But you might want to get a dildo, use it on her then clean it in this manner to see how she responds. No hard feelings that way and to drag some poor bastard into this unknowing is not fair to him.

[Sirramm 111]

Thank you Mr. & Mrs. Fun!

 

While I understand and mostly agree with your comments it's not the "playing off" a moment in time. Even in the foreplay and shortly after the 'completion of events' she is still talking about it, entertaining the idea and that is not the issue. What IS the issue is the next morning she wants to deny deny deny and when it doubt deflect and then deny again mode she slips into. Honestly I think she is waiting for me to trip the trigger, hence the just having someone 'show up'.

 

I would NEVER EVER move forward on my desire WITHOUT her...despite my kinks and desires I'm a VERY faithful man and would NEVER cheat, too many have done it to me and it sucked so doing it to someone else falls way outside my parameters. Besides the real fantasy is seeing her with another man, 'sharing her' and watching her totally sexually satisfied, and her watching me suck him and eat her. For me it is REALLY about HER and ONLY then me.

 

If that makes any sense! LOL

[slevin 1,374]

Despite all that, springing it on her is the worst possible approach.

[Sirramm 111]

Despite all that, springing it on her is the worst possible approach.

 

I'm gathering that now...LOL but thanks despite wanting to do such I couldn't nor would I really...just so frustrated.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Fantasies can be overwhelming in their persistence, so much so that anyone in the way can seem to be operating with less than pure motives. I wonder if your charges of denial and deflection mean something like that is going on here. It certainly seems a little adversarial, which doesn't strike me as a useful tack with the person you most want to enlist in fantasy fulfillment.

 

You're going to have to talk about your fantasy in the car or in the kitchen and then really hear the answers you get, not as from someone thwarting your desires, but as from someone with her own desires and fears.

[Swing*8701 887]

A guy saying he only wants to blow a guy. Then, suddenly, he's doing the hula on Fire Island .

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I see that your back and posting on the board. Do you have an update on how things are working out for the two of you?

[Sirramm 111]

I see that your back and posting on the board. Do you have an update on how things are working out for the two of you?

 

We are still currently in 'negotiations' but we are at least OPENLY talking about it. She's been feeling a bit self-conscious about her recent weight gain, hence the little to no sex part with even me, since she had our baby about a year ago. Personally I'm kinda diggin' the extra weight and didn't really give it much thought until she brought it up.

 

My work keeps me pretty busy and a recent trip to the doctor uncovered some blood pressure issues that have kept shall we say 'low key' for a bit but being a fighter I bounced back and well here I am! LOL

 

I'll keep you posted and THANKS FOR ASKING!!!!!

[angelkin 1,326]

I really enjoy it with someone comes back to give us an update, thanks for sharing!

[Sirramm 111]

WELL IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!!

 

This past weekend the wife and I had an impromptu dinner/pool party at our house that led to her and I sharing our bed with another man and it was AWESOME!!!!!!!!

 

So here's what happened (with a little setup to explain things): I am self-employed and provide my customers with service, generic...get your mind out of the gutter...we aren't at the good stuff yet!...and over the years have become pretty close with this particular customer. We've gone fishing, boating, golfing, etc. You know the usual 'guy/buddy' things together. So last week I ran a service call and conversation went toward the weekend. I told him I didn't have anything 'planned' either but in our area on the weekends like the weather and wind things can change in an instant...which it did!

 

I was out back of our home grilling up some AMAZING chicken (I love to cook and pretty damn good at it! Yes bragging! LOL) and it was like the old commercial of "Johnsonville Brats" the freaking neighbors came out of the woodwork! It was shocking! Next thing you know we've got neighbors bringing over burgers, hot dogs, ribs, steaks and cooking on the grill! The pool was full, the coolers showed up and that's when it all went into kinkville!!!!!!

 

As I was pouring the wife a drink my cell rang and it was my customer/buddy whining he had nothing to do so I invited him over...GREAT MOVE!!! When he showed up he was toting the favorite wine of the wife's and my favorite beer...'bout time he paid me back...hahaha...anyway...after all the kids left and the night was left to just the adults we started to really 'party'. When one of my neighbors, and I wish you ALL could know him, told his wife he was going to skinny dip that was all it took to get things moving along!!! He jumped up in the shallow end, swung his trunks in the air and then threw them on the lawn! Next thing I knew we were all naked, the lights were off and my wife was rubbing my hardon under the water! When my buddy floated over next to us and said "...hey don't I get anyone to play with me?" she laughed (probably because of the wine I'll admit) and reached over and started to play with his limp dick under the water.

 

Hours later we all three were naked in our bed!!!! Come to find out he is JUST like me!!! Loves women, loves sex, loves being naked, AND loves sucking cock and eating cum!!! I've had a contract with this guy for over 6 years, played countless rounds of golf, had countless drinks and dinners, and had him over to my home more than once and NEVER knew A. He had an infinity to suck cock, B. Was into threesomes, C. Had such a huge monstrous mushroom capped dick which the wife LOVED!!!! When he and I swapped blowjobs I thought she was going to jump out of her skin!!! She is now LITERALLY begging to watch me blow him again!!! She freakin' loved it!!! Ok and admittedly so did I!!!!!!!

 

SSSSSsssssooooo.....we are planning to have him over again this weekend and have been talking about taking things a little further on her side and mine...she wants to maybe play a little more and explore which just fine by me!!!! So we'll see what happens in the coming weeks...I'll keep you posted

[Sirramm 111]

Another update! The wife has FINALLY come full circle in the swinging lifestyle and is NOW interested in possibly pursuing her own potential bi side however she prefers watching me with another guy and I well ok with that! LOL

 

In the last 15 days I've watched my 'buddy' have sex with my wife, and I have to say there is NOTHING sexier than seeing a woman really enjoying herself sexually, 4 additional times and she's watched he and I suck on each other's cocks 6 additional times (2 out of the six she had her monthly and couldn't play but SHE actually wanted to watch he and I suck each other and suggested it! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!)

 

While she likes having 'him' as our steady go-to she is actually starting to talk about maybe finding a couple with a bi-female so she can explore bi'ness herself. What is really funny is now she is also saying "what did I wait so long to play like this for?????" Guess now's not the time for 'told you so's' huh? LOL

 

More updates to follow!!!!