E-Harmony for swingers

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Today I Learned that "online dating" goes back to 1959 with the finale project of a group of Stanford students that programmed a computer to match up 49 men and 49 women. This resulted in 1 marriage... which I thought was some damn good results.

 

This got me thinking that likely sites like E-harmony may have a higher LTR match rate because they rely on the computer to do the matching rather than the users to pick their best matches (which we all know is 90% based on pictures). That got me thinking, would swingers use a site where the programming did the matching? Where it asks what you are looking for, with a series of questions on interests (both swinging & non), what type of swinging situations you are looking for (LT vs 1N; 3some, group, etc), your looks, what you want out of the looks of others and then take all that info to match you up.

 

So, would you try a site that did this? Do you think it would even work for swingers?

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Of course I'd try it and probably for the same reason it would intrigue our opposite half/halves: How on earth would a program like that work with the non-quantifiable aspects of personality and chemistry and what would our matches be like?

 

I'm guessing that using a modified version of whatever works for matchmaking sites would be pretty successful, actually, partly because folks would be looking for playmates not mates and partly because just filling out the questionnaire would help in generating some searching questions, which is never a bad idea.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I think it wouldn't work. I look at profiles where they say, "We're VERY attractive" and then I look at the pictures or meet them in person. Good looking is definitely subjective.

 

We wouldn't claim to be attractive to others, but of course we find each other to be cute and sexy.

 

So many people say personality trumps looks, but honestly, looks are what initially draws you to a person. So even if a computer match said your personalities and desires mesh, you might not feel it in real life.

 

Also, I'm not looking for another spouse like people dating mostly are. It's better for me to swing with people I wouldn't want to live with or share my whole life with.

 

One other point, it seems like people on swinger ad sites tend to be functionally illiterate or don't care what you write. I doubt they would be inclined to take a test like E-harmony offers.

 

I think ok-cupid offers quizzes that show on your profile to help you find a good match. Many poly and swinger couples use ok-cupid.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

We would probably try it out of curiosity if nothing else, with try meaning we would go through it to see what our matches were but then just turn around apply the same subjective filters we use now. We wouldn't have enough confidence that just because the computer said we were a match to automatically agree that was so.

[Chicup 41]

WAY back when we started, alt friend finder did something like this. I can't say if it helped or not. Then alt friend finder got bought out by AFF and that was the end of that.

 

The problem is that attraction physically is even more important in swinging than in vanilla dating. We generally don't take the time to find the "deeper connection", we want to get it on. I've known couples I know we would get along with personality wise VERY well, and we would love to hang out with them at the vanilla level, but we really don't want to swing with them.

 

Some matching though would be good. I wish I could put in things like age range (for BOTH members) play type, etc to help narrow down searches. I think that current sites could up what they have without reaching personality profile levels.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I think this idea has merit. If I've heard the story right and remember it correctly, E-Harmony includes a facility for tossing a subscriber off the train if a sufficient number of subscribers report that the person is not what she or he claims. That would be really great for a swinger hook-up service.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Thread jack for obligatory eHarmony screen capture:

 

Thread jack over.

[monkeycouple 15]

I have literally researched this till I am blue in the face by actually joining AND bookmarking over 1,500+ adult & Swingers' profile sites; and even published that list, called THE BIG LIST, at our Yahoo forum. To date, only Plenty of Fish and eHarmony host a adequate and working matchup questionnaire engine. To be honest, I don't think this will work initially due the fact that there at over 100+ swingers profile sites to compete with and the database of new subscribers is slowing down due to a tighter economy and those electronics social media devices such as cell phones and tablets with people spending more time on Facebook, often more often than on a swingers site. Unless you spend an amass of finances on advertising your business venture, new swinger profile site launches and growth is slow by just word of mouth. The selection of adult profile sites is so sparse and dispersed across the Cyberspace Galaxy, that each profile is just a grain of sand and you literally need thousands and thousands of couples and singles to join to help create that needed atmosphere for "stickability" and to obtain and keep achieving that word-of-mouth success.

[OZCPL 15]

We have a web site here in Australia called Adult Match Maker which is exactly that couples that want to swing can read each others profiles see photo's read their likes and dislikes chat and if all is well hook up. It's a huge success

[Playful1 434]

Eh, the computer can only use the data put into it...if someone butt ugly says they are model material, or they claim to be 35 when they are 60, that is what the computer matches based on. So I don't really think it's anything so great.

[Looking43 15]

We would be happy with a verified "couples only" website.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I think that would be a cool experiment.

[ref2018 29]

I think it could work for those who want it to work, and those who think it's a waste of time should do whatever works for them.

 

In my experience, i meet plenty of fruitcakes the old-fashioned ways, so i do not feel the need to augment my social life through the use of match-making software algorithms. But i wouldn't try to force my ways on others.

[SwingSetWife 444]

I like this idea, have often wished there was something a bit like this for swingers, and I would certainly give it a go if someone created it. However, you have the same problem on those sites as you would on any other "personal ad" site. People lie, stretch the truth, and put in answers that they -think- will get them the response they are looking for. My experience with personal ad sites (such as eHarmony, used in the "traditional" sense) is that after all the time and energy (and money) spent answering all the questions and inputting all the data, I wasn't matched with people I actually wanted to date. I was matched with people that I would love to hang out with and that were great super nerds like me, but that is not what I look for in a relationship. And about 95% of my matches I wasn't attracted to, and as someone said, that aspect is even more important in swinging.

 

We use SLS because it is user friendly and has a the most activity in our area from what we have seen. But I would like something with more features. I would like something more social media oriented so I can post quick updates without having to change my profile; share and read articles, news stories, pictures, etc; and has more of a sense of community than "hi. y'all are hot. wanna fuck?"

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I met my SO online (but not EHarmony). She used EHarmony but said she never really found anyone that she wanted to date there, in spite of the computer matching. We met on OKCupid and were also both on Plenty of Fish (but never crossed there either).

 

We wish that there was a site that had more information/questions/data/better search functions or something like what you proposed for swingers but the problem is that of the chicken or the egg. Having a site that has more data and or matching would be great (the chicken) but people won't join a site unless the site has 1000's of (local) people on it (the egg). The sites that have 1000's of people aren't going to change what has worked for them so far and the startup doesn't have the 1000's of other people to be matched with. Being a computer geek, I've toyed with this idea before but never been able to overcome having the people database to pull from.