How do I discreetly identify myself to a swinger, and recognize others who swing?

[gwen.adams 15]

I'm new to this and am not really into bar scenes, so I'm not sure a club is my style. I'd like to know if there is a way to discreetly identify myself as being open to the lifestyle, and to identify others that are as well. I'm also a little submissive and know there is BDSM jewelry that indicates such, but haven't found anything for LS jewelry. HELP!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I cannot attest to the effectiveness of using jewelry to identify yourself and I have never heard anybody say, "I wear this anklet, bracelet and pendant so that people will recognize it while I am out and about." But it is a question that been raised several time at this this esteemed bulletin board.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

There isn't some sort of universal sign, although periodically someone will come up with a new one that is supposed to get us there. But none of them have ever reached even partial acceptance, so, no, there isn't any easy way to identify swingers without going where swingers congregate.

 

We're not into the bar scene either, but neither is our club. Like many, it's BYO beer and wine only, with a DJ and a smallish dance floor, a chef-prepared dinner and the chance to converse in many areas that are not playrooms.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

As others have said, clubs can run the range of more of a quiet private social club type environment up to your typical dance club (but with benefits ) Going where the swingers go is really the only way you can be sure that the people you are meeting are at least interested in swinging to some degree if not actually active in it. Any other way, it's a roll of the dice and the reply you get when you bring it up may not be a good one. Some vanilla bars do seem to be favored by swingers, but it's still hard to tell who is who.

[Chicup 41]

Just your luck there is a way. It's discreet and nowhere near a club.

 

Try on online ad.

[ViSexual 1,008]

My first thought was an ad too but I had another thought as well. If your interest is in couples you meet or already know then simply ask, in a somewhat kidding way, if you can borrow their spouse. If you get a negative reaction you can always fall back on, 'to fix your sink', or 'to do your laundry'! But, if you get a smile then let them sleep on it and you make it more suggestive the next time you ask it.

[swing.kidz 367]

There is a movement on kasidie to wear a black ring on your right hand ring finger. Seems to be picking up some popularity, my wife and I have jumped in.

[gwen.adams 15]

I also play a little as a sub, and occasionally wear a Story Of O, ring, on a chain around my neck. Very few people have recognized what it was, and they themselves are involved in BDSM culture. I guess I was looking for something like that, that's discreet, but also consistently noticeable to those "in the know".

[JoCoCpl 99]

The problem with some kind of jewelry, apparel, etc. is that once knowledge of the sign goes outside the lifestyle, it's no longer discreet. As popularity/acceptance of the sign increases, so does the likelihood of the word getting out outside the LS.

 

Just my two cents.

[losAmantes 318]

Swinger signs and signals are things of urban legend. Like other posters have said, if some signal or sign were to catch on, it would no longer be effective. Cut to the chase and sign up on SLS or whatever site is popular in your area. It's so much easier just to go to a party where there's no question who the swingers are, versus looking for some sort of secret handshake in the vanilla world.

[lcmim 1,081]

Perhaps subtlety is over rated.

In your face in the correct environments is probably best. 

Near home we are very vanilla. When traveling we have an sls car sticker that is stuck to a magnetic strip. This goes on the car

, when at motels, wine tasting , have not tried it camping yet.

  

 

Success? Not so much. I really think most people gloss over things like that in the wild.

 

The anklet might be the most useful in a club or bar scene where people are  more on the prowl.