Follow Up or Wait?

[funcoupledayton 2,710]

We had planned to meet a couple we know as acquaintances at the club last night (Fri). We emailed on Weds. and everything was good.

 

They didn't show up.

 

My first inclination is to send a note saying, "We missed you, hope everything is ok." But, then I think, maybe they're not really interested and I should just leave it. I don't want to be a stalker. Then I think maybe if we don't say something they'll think we didn't really want to see them.

 

What would you do?

[angelkin 1,327]

I too would email them and ask if everything was okay.

[Fundamental Law 2,940]

Concur with Angel. Call.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I'd go ahead and email, prefacing it with, "We don't want to come off as stalkers, but...". I find it useful to just be upfront if I'm ambivalent.

[LFM2 1,484]

I'd email them. I'd pretty much say what you said in your first post. Just ask if everything was OK.

[Lionheart72 2,192]

Concur. "Hey, we missed you. Hope everything is ok" sounds courteous not stalker-y.

 

The hard part comes next. If you don't hear from them in reply, write it off as a loss and don't contact them until they contact you. If you do hear from them, you're going to have to accept their reply at face value and not second guess. If you are really questioning their interest level, you might want to wait for them suggest a "rain check" rather than suggesting it yourself. If they say "let's try again" then they are probably interested. If they don't, time to move on.

[Guest sandraandalex]

I'd give it to Monday and see if they send a note. There may have been a crisis of sorts and they'll have a moment to follow up by then. Then you can write back how great it was to hear from them. Also, by monday, if you do send an email, you would have given ample time and not seem like stalkers by writing the very next day.

[two4youinswva 3,069]

We had planned to meet a couple we know as acquaintances at the club last night (Fri). We emailed on Weds. and everything was good.

 

They didn't show up.

 

My first inclination is to send a note saying, "We missed you, hope everything is ok." But, then I think, maybe they're not really interested and I should just leave it. I don't want to be a stalker. Then I think maybe if we don't say something they'll think we didn't really want to see them.

 

What would you do?

 

I bolded the words that push me towards saying that it is perfectly fine to send them an "Everything OK?" note as others have mentioned. If they are acquaintances, then you probably have built a little more of a rapport with them than if they were a couple from an ad site, or something along those lines.

Bonus points for using MJD's opening line suggestion.

[Sensualbicouple 122]

I would send them a message or call them if you have their number. What's the worse that could happen....if you don't ask, you'll never know.

[losAmantes 318]

Not sure from your OP if this was a legitimate date or just a see ya there type situation. Either way, you're correct to contact them to tell them you were there and were sorry you missed them. Don't take it too seriously, things happen, babysitter didn't show, had to work late, whatever. Meeting at clubs are always a lot more iffy than meeting at private parties, if they blow off a private party without notice, they probably won't be invited back next time

[funcoupledayton 2,710]

Hey, thanks everyone. I did email them. They had a serious family emergency.

[kellimc 241]

Hey, thanks everyone. I did email them. They had a serious family emergency.

 

Sure they did.

[Fundamental Law 2,940]

Sure they did.

 

Life happens. Problems come up. Health problems, minor car wrecks, child suddenly needs attention, parent hospitalized. We give folks with this type of explanation the benefit of trust -- once. Still, a call/email as soon as possible is always appropriate.

[funcoupledayton 2,710]

Sure they did.

 

No, they told me the specifics. These are people we see fairly often and I trust them.

[angelkin 1,327]

Hope everything is ok and glad you emailed them to check up;)

[JustAskJulie 2,597]

Glad you went ahead and contacted them. I would have done the same in that situation. If I was on their side of the situation, I know I'd really appreciate the message and knowing that you really are interested enough in them to wonder why they didn't make it. And they were probably at the same time worrying that you thought they weren't interested and they'd lose their chance.