Not so into the girl on girl thing

[husband 15]

This is my first post but my wife has been posting for a while. I have my very own question so here it is.

 

The wife is Bi or has a strong "flare" for the ladies. I have no jelousy issues with her but what I am struggling with is with the other ladies. When the girls flirt and play it bothers me. I feel left out. I also do not get much out of the visual aspect of the two ladies together after 30 seconds or more. I know most guys are really into this but it is not my thing.

 

I feel jipped in the matter. I also know that this may be a self confidence thing but I sometimes feel like I am the second choice. My wife is super hot and I can understand that to some extent but at the same time this is something we are doing together and I am looking for great sex for me as well and would like the female to be all about me. I think I'm a decently attractive guy and I do admit that some of these feelings may be in my head but at the same time.

 

I guess my question is, Does anyone else have the same feelings about being a guy with 2 bi women? Every time we have played it has been with other couples and it seems like the other guys are in to it. I just don't know. This is really the one thing in this lifestyle that bothers me. I don't have these feelings with the other men and my wife, just the other women and my wife. I have no problem with the men doating all over her and I take that as a huge compliment....

 

I need some advice on how to work through this as I don't want to hamper the wife's good time. In my perfect world we would play with 100% straight couples but I know the wife likes lady time. It may sound selfish but it makes me feel left out and sometimes hurts my feelings...

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Have you told your wife about your feelings?

[Wifeypoo 42]

I'm the wife in question here! He has told me. We definitely take the communication part of this seriously. I am totally willing to step back from the ladies if this is something that needs to be done. I like it not only because I find some women attractive, but because it adds another demention to playing in a four way scenario and more options! It WOULD be nice if there was a night that was ALL about 'husband'. I don't want hurt feelings - for anyone. We are still sifting our way through what works best here.

[husband 15]

So obviously. Yes!! Just basically looking for feedback and if others dealt with this and if so, how?

 

I feel like this isn't a common issue....

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

My husband feels the same as you many times. He calls me a cock-blocker (in a kidding, but partly serious way).

 

Since he brought it to my attention, I try to give him more space with the girls. It can be difficult, so many times the girl is really to our liking and the guy is nice enough, but, blah in appearance or completely passive (probably due to the fact that he's always in the position of watching the wife get attention).

 

Maybe you can just diversify a little and sometimes play with couples where it's just a straight swap and minimal girl girl play. That's another thing we do to try to have more balance.

 

Anyhow we can sympathize! I'm glad the two of you are talking about it.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Okay, then. Essentially, you're competing with your wife when it comes to other women, and you're feeling like you're coming in second. Since you're not in competition for men, it's not surprising you're fine with that (and maybe get a little out of it, because they want her and she's going home with you).

 

Swinging always has the potential to make our unresolved issues bubble to the surface and I'm wondering if you've been in other situations where you felt second best. In any case, I get the impulse to make your feelings go away by never again swinging with bi women who want your wife, but it might be more useful to dig into and resolve the issue. If it was me, I'd do a lot of solitary walking and thinking and then do a lot of talking with my partner. I might also work with a therapist, if I still couldn't deal with my feelings without more help.

[Wifeypoo 42]

Your SO funny (and right) funcouple! We do the same thing by saying things in a kidding (but , no really now) way about all sorts of things! This should be fun for everyone...and I am good with or without the women playing together. Now when asked some really specific questions like "Does watching turn you on or interest you in any way?" The response is, "For about 30 seconds or so." Or "What if all this were occurring with you lying in the middle?" Answer "Well, THAT'S a whole different situation!" It's not the act that is a turn off it is the exclusion, and I TOTALLY understand that. I wouldn't want to feel left out either. We have only played with a limited amount of couples and only a couple of them more than once. There is this one couple in particular that we interacted with the first time and she was ALL about the Hubby. But since then, she has been wanting a lot of girl on girl talk, attention and when we played again last night - that was definitely on the menu. I think this switch in attitude has left Hubby with a bad taste in his mouth. I would feel the same if roles were reversed - especially since they matched up so well previously. We get along very well with these folks (both in AND out of bed). Would it be wise to just let them know how we are feeling? They are 'swinging veterans' and do know that we are still fumbling are way through the dark. If they wanted to hook up again soon, I would need to SAY something so things went differently...or turn them down all together. See, now I'm just rambling.

[michellebelle48 15]

To the OP:

You sound like a really nice guy and a type I'd play with in a heart beat. The bi thing really gets me sometimes. I've played with other women but have been growing bored of it the more I think about it. In many ways I feel as though the bi scene is like a powerful psychological narcotic. We romanticize it to no end and I often wonder how many women are really bi and how many just get off on sex in general. I mean physiologically there is no reason why 2 straight guys can't get each other off. Same with women. If you let it happen it will. I don't see playing with women as anything special. Playing with a man however hits me a lot deeper because of the mystery and suspense. I can tell what a woman's thinking but a man I can never know for sure. The suspense excites me.

 

Hubby and I made a rule from the beginning. Swinging is not a spectators sport and we tell our couples that. If I was making out with a woman he was at least rubbing her back or mine. If we were 69'ing I wasn't eating pussy alone. If I was enjoy a boob he was working the other. The other guy was doing something as well.

 

Also, think about why guys like watching women go at it. I suspect that you are very much the gentleman and put your every effort into pleasing the female. Many guys however are clueless and afraid to give a girl what she needs. I'm going to give guys the benefit of the doubt and say the reason they like lesbian sex is because it is female centered and nurturing. Our brutish culture says men have to be savages and to avoid loosing their manhood refrain from passionate selfless sex. I think a man needs to and wants to give that kind of sex but won't out of fear.

 

My hubby and I may be unorthodox but with our favorite couple its really not just f*cking. Both guys are incredibly sensual and passionate with the others wife. Its not uncommon for the guys to get somewhat poetically expressive of our bodies when we play. Consequently this is the couple that we have the least bi-sex with and I don't miss it. In fact the other woman and I have both agreed that despite finding the other absolutely hot we are both way more into the guys. I'm not sure this would work for you guys but I can certainly understand your feelings.

[Wifeypoo 42]

I like this Michelle! I think mixing it up and being with some completely straight couples would be just a nice change too. Hubby? This is your thread!

[Guest sandraandalex]

Hi, I'm the husband here. Here's a conversation I had with Sandy when we started Swinging and she discovered a passion for women:

 

Me: I have to admit I'm feeling like a third wheel when you are with a girl ?

 

Sandy: So, when I'm with a woman you feel like you shouldn't participate ?

 

Me: Well, yes.

 

Sandy: And that bothers you ?

 

Me: Yes. It bothers me a lot.

 

Sandy: Well, stop doing that then and join in. After all, you're sure to be fucking her soon enough.

 

Never a problem since.

[husband 15]

Thank you everyone for all the responses. I guess for me, even if it sounds selfish, I want the other woman to be all about me! My wife has the other guy and if she has the other woman too then that's a problem for me. As "the wife" posted above about that certain couple, that one really bothers me and brought this to the forefront. We had a super connection the first time and in an effort to not shove it my wife's face I have been real low key with her, this was also at my wifes request as well. Well now we have what is going on now.

 

I personally think we either not play with this couple anymore or we have a conversation with them or drop direct hints. According to my wife she likes the ff as foreplay but can take it or leave it. But when we are with others she either chickens out or maybe is just really into it at the time and it turns into full on girl/girl fest. This is something we need to work on together and learn to respect each others feelings. We are only 7+ months into this so we are still learning.

 

The more I think about it this may be a boundry / trust thing my wife and I need to work out. I think we can and I am enjoying this lifestyle quite a bit.

[michellebelle48 15]

Thank you everyone for all the responses. I guess for me, even if it sounds selfish, I want the other woman to be all about me! My wife has the other guy and if she has the other woman too then that's a problem for me. As "the wife" posted above about that certain couple, that one really bothers me and brought this to the forefront. We had a super connection the first time and in an effort to not shove it my wife's face I have been real low key with her, this was also at my wifes request as well. Well now we have what is going on now.

 

I personally think we either not play with this couple anymore or we have a conversation with them or drop direct hints. According to my wife she likes the ff as foreplay but can take it or leave it. But when we are with others she either chickens out or maybe is just really into it at the time and it turns into full on girl/girl fest. This is something we need to work on together and learn to respect each others feelings. We are only 7+ months into this so we are still learning.

 

The more I think about it this may be a boundry / trust thing my wife and I need to work out. I think we can and I am enjoying this lifestyle quite a bit.

 

I don't see that as selfish at all! If you do not feel included then you are not swinging and you might as well let your wife play alone with the woman. I really don't see this as a trust thing on your part either. You are bored and I don't blame you. If I was in your position (no pun intended) I would feel the same. You should "spice up" up your swinging with some new techniques or approach. Maybe find some new couples?

 

Often times I think guys like watching the bi-female scene because of pornography. Looks great of the screen but in reality its just sex. The same physiological responses (i.e. sensation and orgasm) occur whether its a man or woman having sex with a woman. Psychologically however we are trained to think that bi-female sex is some how "hotter" and "more desired." It is glorified to no end and we ladies like being the center of attention. Sadly there are many guys, not yourself, just see women as porn performers. They just want to watch because that is what their mind is trained to do. You however are a gentleman and want to be involved / be there for a lady. Make that clear! Men are initiators, movers, shakers, and doers! It is not hard for me to imagine why a man in touch with his genuine masculine nature would not be into the passive watching thing.

 

Your wife needs to make clear what she is there for too. Is she really there for the man? Maybe the guy is not her taste thus he doesn't do for her what his wife does? You both should talk deeply about what traits you find attractive in partners.

[exploringRM 305]

Have you considered separate room experiences? BTW, We are on the other side of this equation, trying to find a couple where the interaction is NOT all about the girl-girl play. It's not too hard to find but when scanning profiles or "hot-dates" many are looking for either just a girl or mostly girl-girl.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Going to go a different direction here than some of the other posters but trying to be 'fair' in swinging is one of the fastest ways to kill the experience. Every experience we have, the wife get's to fuck 3 people (the wife, the other husband and me) I get the whole 'jipped' feeling you mention but this is about an experience the two of you are having together and if you want fairness, become bi and suck the other guys cock and vice versa and all settled.

 

If your like me and many of the other men who are totally grossed out at the thought, then you really don't want fairness.

 

Be happy in your wife's enjoyment because it's not about tit-for-tat sex. We run into so many couples where it's like, they feel they have to match everything the other couple is doing, I feel like we are having sex in front of a fucking mirror...like a kid that keeps repeating everything you do...you just want to say quit-it!! If you can go 3 times in the time it takes me to go once, as long as your partner is into it then I say go for it! Why are we all so wrapped up on fairness and not on the enjoyment?

 

You are a really nice guy. I can tell by your posts you are pretty sincere and your wife is awesome too in her desire to want to make sure you are just as happy as she is but I really believe this is mostly in your head. It's easy to feel that the other woman is into your wife more than you but I say this...most swingers won't take one for the team and if they are playing with you then the wife digs you! Don't let your mind screw with your head and the last thing I would say is why the fuck are you and the other husband just sitting around watching? Get on a boobie and participate!!!!

[michellebelle48 15]

Going to go a different direction here than some of the other posters but trying to be 'fair' in swinging is one of the fastest ways to kill the experience. Every experience we have, the wife get's to fuck 3 people (the wife, the other husband and me) I get the whole 'jipped' feeling you mention but this is about an experience the two of you are having together and if you want fairness, become bi and suck the other guys cock and vice versa and all settled.

 

If your like me and many of the other men who are totally grossed out at the thought, then you really don't want fairness.

 

Be happy in your wife's enjoyment because it's not about tit-for-tat sex. We run into so many couples where it's like, they feel they have to match everything the other couple is doing, I feel like we are having sex in front of a fucking mirror...like a kid that keeps repeating everything you do...you just want to say quit-it!! If you can go 3 times in the time it takes me to go once, as long as your partner is into it then I say go for it! Why are we all so wrapped up on fairness and not on the enjoyment?

 

You are a really nice guy. I can tell by your posts you are pretty sincere and your wife is awesome too in her desire to want to make sure you are just as happy as she is but I really believe this is mostly in your head. It's easy to feel that the other woman is into your wife more than you but I say this...most swingers won't take one for the team and if they are playing with you then the wife digs you! Don't let your mind screw with your head and the last thing I would say is why the fuck are you and the other husband just sitting around watching? Get on a boobie and participate!!!!

 

I don't think it is fair to say it is in his head. There are a lot of guys out there that just want to get off and don't care about anything else. I think the OP should be commended for wanting to be desired. That shows he cares about being what other people want.

 

To the OP:

I think what you experiencing is a consequence of the lifestyle. I think overall swinging is less about men and more about women. It is setup that way because most of us ladies would run in terror if it was about guys. Sad but true! I remember seeing in one of the other threads it was about creating a safe environment for women. That puts women in control and therefore we get what we want lol! Since most of us has a man at home we don't need to swing for the "male experience." In fact if you really look at the mechanics all men and all women are roughly the same. Size and shape of men or women may differ but not to the extent a man and woman differ.

 

I would talk with your wife about what she is getting out the bisexual experience. Granted a woman's body is different than a man's but to me sex is really about the psychological factors. Is it the taboo of bisexuality she likes? Does that get her off? I've seen lots of people say women feel better than men but even as a bisexual woman I don't think that makes a world of a difference. Flesh feels good whether on a man or woman lol! If their flesh gets mine cranking which men do just fine then its not really an issue to me unless I make it one. I'll admit when I was first curious my mind would go crazy over a woman but after awhile I realized it was just hype.

 

I think what you need is a couple where you both are compatible with what the opposite sex wants. Perhaps that woman's desires changed over time and while she enjoys what you have she may like what your wife offers better. Multi-partner sex is distracting. It's hard to incorporate everyone without someone getting less. Sex really is designed to be a 1-on-1 experience IMO. Changing that requires great skill and a lot of luck.

[husband 15]

I do want to be desired. That is very important to me. This stuff is really complicated it is funny how you learn things about yourself you didn't know.

 

I guess the big question comes to why are we doing this and what do you gain from it. I am happy to say that I have the best lover I could ever hope for in my wife. She rocks my world and is everything I could ever hope for.

 

I really like meeting new people and the excitement that leads up to it all. I also think that a lot of woman think it is expected of them to be into girls and the thought of women playing together for the sake of it or to put on a show is a real turn off to me. I can't tell you exactly why, but it just is. Another thing is that I think of my wife as a hetero sexual woman, and she is at least 98% straight. Soooo, seeing her in that position is really odd to me as it looks forced.

 

So anyway, this is something I have found out about myself and appreciate everyone's insight. I look at this lifestyle as a way to meet new fun people and to spice up our sex-life. If anything has been gained through all of this it is the connection and incredible passion that the wife and I have. It's absolutley in-fucking-credible!!

[DigginIt 1,132]

I don't think it is fair to say it is in his head.

 

Just to be clear, I was saying that him feeling "second choice" was "mostly" in his head.

 

I think overall swinging is less about men and more about women. It is setup that way because most of us ladies would run in terror if it was about guys.

 

Call me silly, but I think you are WAY off base here. The reason I say this is that the vast majority of women in our area are straight and the others are at best bi-friendly.

 

So what are these women seeking if not the "male experience" as you put it? Are you saying that the women are fucking lots of guys, taking it for the team, so their husbands can get some sex but ultimately they are just doing it to get with other women?

 

There are quite a few bisexual women on this site who I would like to see if they agree with you, that "most of us ladies would run in terror if it was about guys" because I might have to rethink playing with couples with bi women, lol.

[michellebelle48 15]

Just to be clear, I was saying that him feeling "second choice" was "mostly" in his head.

 

 

 

Call me silly, but I think you are WAY off base here. The reason I say this is that the vast majority of women in our area are straight and the others are at best bi-friendly.

 

So what are these women seeking if not the "male experience" as you put it? Are you saying that the women are fucking lots of guys, taking it for the team, so their husbands can get some sex but ultimately they are just doing it to get with other women?

 

There are quite a few bisexual women on this site who I would like to see if they agree with you, that "most of us ladies would run in terror if it was about guys" because I might have to rethink playing with couples with bi women, lol.

 

The clubs we have been to in NY have mostly bi-women. In fact I've even seen several threads on this forum about how its hard for straight couples to find playmates. I think your area is an outlier.

 

I never said the women are "taking one for the team." That phrase implies to me that the women are not attracted to the men but do it anyway for the girl / girl play. I'm sure the women ARE attracted to the men but since they don't get the girl / girl play at home (unless they are a lesbian couple) its more exciting / interesting to them. In a crude way its like a "kid with a new toy." Its new, exciting, gets most of our attention because of the newness. We don't forget about our other toys we enjoy playing with though!

[michellebelle48 15]

I do want to be desired. That is very important to me. This stuff is really complicated it is funny how you learn things about yourself you didn't know.

 

I guess the big question comes to why are we doing this and what do you gain from it. I am happy to say that I have the best lover I could ever hope for in my wife. She rocks my world and is everything I could ever hope for.

 

I really like meeting new people and the excitement that leads up to it all. I also think that a lot of woman think it is expected of them to be into girls and the thought of women playing together for the sake of it or to put on a show is a real turn off to me. I can't tell you exactly why, but it just is. Another thing is that I think of my wife as a hetero sexual woman, and she is at least 98% straight. Soooo, seeing her in that position is really odd to me as it looks forced.

 

So anyway, this is something I have found out about myself and appreciate everyone's insight. I look at this lifestyle as a way to meet new fun people and to spice up our sex-life. If anything has been gained through all of this it is the connection and incredible passion that the wife and I have. It's absolutley in-fucking-credible!!

 

You sir are a classy man a girl like me can make her appetizer AND main course! A man that stands his ground for a woman is the supreme turn on IMO. :P

[Wifeypoo 42]

He's pretty hot to boot Michelle ; ).

[DigginIt 1,132]

The clubs we have been to in NY have mostly bi-women. In fact I've even seen several threads on this forum about how its hard for straight couples to find playmates. I think your area is an outlier.

 

I never said the women are "taking one for the team." That phrase implies to me that the women are not attracted to the men but do it anyway for the girl / girl play. I'm sure the women ARE attracted to the men but since they don't get the girl / girl play at home (unless they are a lesbian couple) its more exciting / interesting to them. In a crude way its like a "kid with a new toy." Its new, exciting, gets most of our attention because of the newness. We don't forget about our other toys we enjoy playing with though!

 

I don't want to hijack this thread too much but I see and respect your very well thought out points. I just believe that there are more women in the lifestyle who like us, miss the thrill of being with someone new. To experience those lustful feelings that fade over time versus trying to fulfill a craving they don't get in their traditional relationship.

 

It's the "being desired" that I believe fuels the lifestyle over anything else. The good thing is we are both entitled to our opinions

[michellebelle48 15]

He's pretty hot to boot Michelle ; ).

 

I wouldn't want to boot him but something else......

[husband 15]

I really like where this thread is headed!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

So obviously. Yes!! Just basically looking for feedback and if others dealt with this and if so, how?

 

I feel like this isn't a common issue....

 

I think it's actually pretty common, especially for couples where they are mainly just looking for females to please the wife. We've often run into couples where that's all they are there for and when we've ended up playing with them it seems like the guys are left out. Or worse, the couples who approach us and basically let it be known that my husband WILL be left out. I appreciate them being upfront that I'm all they want, but REALLY?!

 

I wonder (from what you say here) if perhaps your wife is really into this just to be with other women, therefore guys are "on the side" as you feel. If that's the case, it's likely going to continue that way. She's getting her fantasy met. You need to figure out what yours is and find a way to make sure yours are being met as well.

 

That said, I think most guys that have a fantasy of being with two women, their fantasy involves them being in the MIDDLE of two women, not "on the side" which is what is more common.

 

If you have not, you definitely should talk to your wife about you feel. Then I would suggest that you look for couples and be clear with them about what you want and expect where everyone can be pleasured. It may cut down on how often you (or rather she) play, but quality is better than quantity in my book.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Your SO funny (and right) funcouple! We do the same thing by saying things in a kidding (but , no really now) way about all sorts of things! This should be fun for everyone...and I am good with or without the women playing together. Now when asked some really specific questions like "Does watching turn you on or interest you in any way?" The response is, "For about 30 seconds or so." Or "What if all this were occurring with you lying in the middle?" Answer "Well, THAT'S a whole different situation!" It's not the act that is a turn off it is the exclusion, and I TOTALLY understand that. I wouldn't want to feel left out either. We have only played with a limited amount of couples and only a couple of them more than once. There is this one couple in particular that we interacted with the first time and she was ALL about the Hubby. But since then, she has been wanting a lot of girl on girl talk, attention and when we played again last night - that was definitely on the menu. I think this switch in attitude has left Hubby with a bad taste in his mouth. I would feel the same if roles were reversed - especially since they matched up so well previously. We get along very well with these folks (both in AND out of bed). Would it be wise to just let them know how we are feeling? They are 'swinging veterans' and do know that we are still fumbling are way through the dark. If they wanted to hook up again soon, I would need to SAY something so things went differently...or turn them down all together. See, now I'm just rambling.

 

OK, after reading this and the husband's other responses, I want to revise what I said above a bit. You guys actually sound a LOT like us. No one should feel left out. As I aluded above, the way we've handled this is just to be very blunt about it. NO ONE will be left out. Yes, I'm bi but that's not the only reason we are doing this. I like cock and if there's not a 4-way match (as in your wife into my husband, and vice versa) then we aren't going to do it. If we played separately, it would be a different story, but we don't. So, for us, the wife being bi is a nice bonus and makes life a little easier because she won't get pissed if I'm a little touchy feely with her, but that's not why we are there, we are there for all 4 to have a good time.

 

If you both really like this couple and feel it's worth trying to salvage then yes talk to them and be brutally honest about what is going on. If they are both still really into both of you (as they were initially) then they will understand that there needs to be a different balance than what has been going on.

[openingthedoor 21]

Our first and only swinging experience was FFM (not a good one, but not because of the sex (penetration) itself or any jealousy issues).

 

But one of many bad things about that experience, for me (the wife) was that the woman clearly was mostly into me. She told me that she mostly wanted me, wasn't that into my husband, and that he would enjoy just watching me have fun. I continued because I assumed just about any woman would eventually want penetration and I wanted that experience for my husband. But I felt terrible for him during sex (being excluded). I kept trying to turn attention toward him but she kept pulling me back. I hated it. I love my husband so if he is not having fun, I'm not having fun.

 

If we ever do this again, I don't mind g/g, but I will make it very clear that either my husband gets attention, along with me, or no one gets anything. It's so unfair and really just terrible for the man.

 

Bottom line is that I can't enjoy myself if my husband isn't enjoying himself. And I think asking about that particular dynamic during an initial meeting is completely fair and reasonable, although we have only had one experience so not sure how others would feel. My view is that if they don't like my questions--well then we aren't a match.

[Chicup 41]

I have to admit there is nothing more alien to my thinking than NOT enjoying seeing my wife with another woman. Since day one of swinging I told her she never has to ask to play with another woman and its not cheating if she did without being able to ask me first.

 

This I suppose makes it easy because its always about me even when I'm just the observer.

 

That being said my wife would never be happy with GG play only and we have played with straight couples on many occasions.

 

So husband while I can't "think" like you in terms of what turns you on, I can say if its a big deal is understandable. If my wife were into only guys while I watched I would NOT be pleased

[Wifeypoo 42]

I hear that Chicup! I wouldn't be into it if I were just an observer the entire time in any situation actually. I'm sure he'll chime in here sometime...but I don't think this is so much about the bi-sexual fun as it is the inclusion/exclusion and not knowing if he is there as a main or side dish to me. He very much enjoys being the main dish. Actually, using the same food metaphor, he would like to be his own one man buffet!

[Guy1964 177]

 

Bottom line is that I can't enjoy myself if my husband isn't enjoying himself. And I think asking about that particular dynamic during an initial meeting is completely fair and reasonable, although we have only had one experience so not sure how others would feel. My view is that if they don't like my questions--well then we aren't a match.

 

You are a very classy lady. Your husband is a fortunate man.

[Chicup 41]

I hear that Chicup! I wouldn't be into it if I were just an observer the entire time in any situation actually. I'm sure he'll chime in here sometime...but I don't think this is so much about the bi-sexual fun as it is the inclusion/exclusion and not knowing if he is there as a main or side dish to me. He very much enjoys being the main dish. Actually, using the same food metaphor, he would like to be his own one man buffet!

 

Perhaps your problem is simply couples selection. I've never felt left out in swinging, but I think we weed out the GG only types or the obnoxious "I can play with your wife, but you can't play with mine" types. If bisexual behavior is the main focus of a couple we just pass. If the woman is "bi-furious" we definitely pass.

 

We have seen this sort of thing, almost self imposed, where the girl is a 10 and the guy is a 5 or lower. He knows he is the anchor and lets her do her thing because he is unsure if the other woman would want him. We don't play that way though because WE are uncomfortable leaving out anyone.

[DigginIt 1,132]

I've never felt left out in swinging, but I think we weed out the GG only types or the obnoxious "I can play with your wife, but you can't play with mine" types.

 

We don't play that way though because WE are uncomfortable leaving out anyone.

 

Holy shit! We see these couples and you can ALWAYS pick them out. We talk about them all of the time but I don't think we ever categorized them so well!!!

 

Those guys were clearly the same ones that would lick every candy in the bag so nobody else would want one.