Exchanging phone numbers right away

[orchid84 15]

My husband and I are new to the lifestyle. Our experience on sls when initially talking to couples is that they want to exchange phone numbers right off the bat. Most of the time they're not specifying their names or which of them the number belongs to. It'd be one thing if this happened occasionally but in the past week alone it has happened with 3/4 of the people we've contacted or been contacted by. Is this normal?

[angelkin 1,326]

We find that about 50% of people want to exchange phone numbers right away. We're just not comfortable with that and don't give our phone number out until a meet is eminent,

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

We ask for a phone number if no other substantial information exists at the SLS profile to tell us that the inquiry is earnest. Example: no full-face photo, no certifications, non-paying member; you'd better supply a phone number or this conversation in cyberspace is ended as of this very minute.

[Sensualbicouple 122]

In the past, we have felt people who exchange their numbers too quickly were interested in one on one conversations rather than approaching us both as a couple because we are a package deal. Or they were only interested in picture swapping and never intend to meet. If people are genuinely wanting to meet, that's where you can truly learn all that you need to know about the other person or couple to consider taking it to the next level, or not quite simply.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

A good thing to have is a swinger phone. One of those pre-paid phones. Your personal phone won't be overwhelmed and other things.

[Trophy1802 132]

In our case, my spouse and I have a separate email when it comes to any new couples we meet. It is completely separate and related in no way to our regular email. We are the only ones who know of this email, as our kids both have access to our regular email.

 

As for phone numbers, we have never given anyone we have met, and the limited number we have been involved with our home phone number. Yes, there are some couples that we have been involved with they know where we live and they can easily obtain our phone number by either the phone directory or internet (here in Canada, you can get a phone number by searching Canada411.ca). However, we have a mutual trust and as we are fairly picky, it has never been a problem.

 

We do give our personal cell phone numbers for texting. This has never been a problem, to date. If things don't work our, we mutually agree to either delete the text contact or just have casual contact. However, texting has been a great asset with any couples we have continued to be involved with in the LS. Mrs usually finds her comfort zone with texting with the male of the other couple.

 

However, we have never had a telephone conversation with any other individual or couple unless it was an emergency or by accident (aka pocket dial)

 

That's just the way we are. Maybe not the same for all. However, it works for us.

[robinandmarion 15]

We agree with Angelkin that it is best not to give out phone numbers until a meeting is imminent (Angelkin, eminent is a slightly different word meaning conspicuous, projecting, or prominent, as in "his eminent penis got me wet"; sorry, my mom was an English teacher!!!). While the suggestion of having a "swinger's phone" is a good one, there are some inexpensive alternatives. One is to get a number from Skype and buy some credits. I think it costs $3/quarter for the number, and a few cents per minute. The downside is no texting. The other option is an app that can be used on the iphone, ipad, and PC (not sure about the Mac) called "Pinger". It is primarily for texting, but you get a free phone number and can get some free minutes to use for phone calls. The downside is that you can't do picture texting. Once we've met and hit it off with a couple, we have no problem exchanging phone numbers. This may be getting off topic, but I find that some couples want to text with the opposite sex, while others only want the guys to text. Our preference is that the guys text until we meet, and if we develop a friendship, then I could care less if my wife is texting or sexting!

[RunSilentRunDee 127]

Pinger --interesting! Thanks!

[81lizard69 470]

We don't give out a phone number until we know we are serious about meeting. But hell you have to at least talk to them before you meet. For us that gives us some level of security knowing that they are giving us a way to communicate with them on a more honest level .

[shy_couple 459]

Agree with the others. We HATE talking on the phone to prospective people. We feel that our phone numbers is direct access to us and intrudes on our private, non-lifestyle lives. So we do usually share our members but its normally at the point when a date is being set. Mainly so that we can find each other or send a text if we are running late. We realty aren't into the lifestyle enough to get a "burner" phone for lifestyle friends. Instead we are really careful and selective with who we share with.

[JB 140]

I guess we come in on the other side of this. We pretty much give out phone numbers right away. But to be fair, we usually meet people in person first, not online, and after talking with them for a while we decide what level of communication is best, we either exchange email right away, or if its better, phone numbers.

 

Its been this way for a couple of years now, and have not had a problem.

 

And we still have the same phone numbers.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

No it is not normal. DANGER! My (our) protocol was to establish an e-mail/text relationship. Discuss you and your wife's likes and dislikes. Find out what he wants from you and your wife. Trade pictures (how far you go is up to you). This will help weed out some of your prospective playmates/psychopaths. Do a Google or internet search. Check him/her/them out! My next step was to meet him/her/them in person by myself, without her, in a public place like a bar. Have lunch. Shoot pool. You can have her sit away from you pretending to be just another customer so she can check out his or their physical appearance for herself. If the face to face meeting goes well the next step for us would be another face to face, no sex, meeting at the same bar to introduce her to him/them. If the second face to face meeting goes well would arrange to meet in a motel/hotel room as close to halfway between us as possible. We will never bring anyone back to our home or give them our home phone number without establishing a relationship first.

[openingthedoor 21]

No it is not normal. DANGER! My (our) protocol was to establish an e-mail/text relationship. Discuss you and your wife's likes and dislikes. Find out what he wants from you and your wife. Trade pictures (how far you go is up to you). This will help weed out some of your prospective playmates/psychopaths. Do a Google or internet search. Check him/her/them out! My next step was to meet him/her/them in person by myself, without her, in a public place like a bar. Have lunch. Shoot pool. You can have her sit away from you pretending to be just another customer so she can check out his or their physical appearance for herself. If the face to face meeting goes well the next step for us would be another face to face, no sex, meeting at the same bar to introduce her to him/them. If the second face to face meeting goes well would arrange to meet in a motel/hotel room as close to halfway between us as possible. We will never bring anyone back to our home or give them our home phone number without establishing a relationship first.

 

Why would the woman from one couple be willing or wanting to meet with just the male from your couple??! Wouldn't happen with us...

[Austex 15]

By a Boostmobile phone for $25 and get on their pay as you go plan. Easy. Change number if you need to if you get a creeper.

[cj3193 1]

For me exchanging numbers is one step in verifying that you’re real. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but pick up the damned phone and talk to someone. If you don’t mesh, BLOCK them! What is so hard about that? 

[TeamCalgary 168]

kik is a great vehicle for this; you can text, send pictures etc, and without divulging your phone number or any other personal info. 

It also has the added benefit of allowing you to set up separate accounts for each of you and then you can each chime in on the conversation 

separately or together, as you see fit. 

[Fitlakecouple 451]

1 hour ago, cj3193 said:

For me exchanging numbers is one step in verifying that you’re real. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but pick up the damned phone and talk to someone. If you don’t mesh, BLOCK them! What is so hard about that? 

Many people are on social media such as Facebook. Facebook may have their mobile number attached to their account/profile. With their phone number you have access to the last name, workplace, town, etc. Way more info than you might want to share before you actually know people. Regardless, you can find a fair amount of information simply with a phone number. KIK or one of the many messaging apps is a better choice for many people.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

There are so many options that it is not necessary to give a phone/text number. Messaging apps are widespread, and even videoconferencing can be semi-anonymous. 

[NerdsAreFun 226]

Yeah this thread is showing its age(2013).  Kik seems to be the standard now.  Having a Google Voice number is a good thing as well so you're not giving out your real number to anyone.  Use that for things like car dealers and such as well.

[Living life 21 7]

So do people give out their numbers on here and does that make it more fun

[cplnuswing 4,713]

No, not really.  This isn't meant to be a hookup site.  We're primarily a discussion forum although we do have a Personal Ads forum where people can post looking for other like-minded folks.  I won't say it never happens because I'm sure it has, but if you are looking to hook up, then one of the true online swingers personals sites like SLS or SDC or Swingtowns would be a better option.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

We usually arrange a meeting (dinner or drinks at a neutral location) shortly after contact with a couple that we think we might like. Sure, texting, chatting, even talking on the phone is fun, but you will learn more in the first five minutes of meeting in person than you will learn in a lifetime of all the other options. Most important is if both people (if there even is a second person) are interested in swinging. Then, and only then, do we consider exchanging numbers, and even with that, it is usually just the men. We do not allow any cross m/f conversations ever. Either the men communicate, the women communicate or everyone communicates (usually group texts). That way there can never be any misunderstandings taking place.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,389]

Every one is different but there is no way we're giving out phone numbers right away.  There has to be a bit of online chat first and maybe even a meet at a Starbucks somewhere at a halfway point.  The whole temp phone# etc. gets too complicated.