New reality show on Discover Health features swingers

[knb2004 364]

Interesting journalistic article on the lifestyle, and for once they got a lot of things remarkably accurate and it's not a "hit piece" designed as journalism. 'Course, they missed the most important part in the definition of "Unicorn", which they described merely as "a single female", and am I the only one who's never heard of a "Cruise Director"?

 

Sadly, the comment section is predictable.

 

The secret life of swingers: New reality show reveals what REALLY goes on when five 'average' couples swap sexual partners | Mail Online

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I thought all of the women were more attractive than "average" so that starts the article/show on the wrong foot for me.

 

Swingers can also apparently be identified by the outside of their homes. According to Discovery's website, pink and purple decorations in the yard or white landscaping rocks are both signs of alternative sexuality.

 

So is body jewelry: Thumb rings, toe rings, waist chains and a woman moving her wedding ring to her right hand are all signs of a swinger - as are yin-yang tattoo.

 

I'm not so sure about this either. The pink/purple thing just sounds wacky. And, boy, I bet those non-swingers with white landscaping rocks in the front are shaking in their boots about the implications their front rocks are giving to others. I rarely wear jewelry, even earrings and I certainly do not move my wedding ring to my right hand.

 

But like you said, it's "not a bad article".

[M&S 266]

It will be interesting to see how the show is executed. I hope the producers do not succumb to the need for ongoing drama and, thereby, play up tensions and conflict between characters. This seems to be the way of many reality shows.

[a_d_xxx 663]

Good god, I couldn't get past the first photo. All the guys were wearing sock in bed!

 

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Based on the teaser video, that actually looks a little bit promising as something I would want to watch. Even if it is ok to start with, it will probably eventually go the way of the typical contrived drama reality show as the subject matter itself becomes less the focus of the show in favor of people behaving poorly.

 

Interesting it is set in Atlanta too. From the time we have moved here I have always been struck by the contradictions of this place and its culture - a church on every corner, and a den of sin in every house.

 

Secret Sex Lives: Swingers will air on Discovery Fit&Health on Saturday, September 7 @ 10/9c

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Thanx, all, for the heads-up.

[Chicup 41]

Ok let me get my rant on.......

 

WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE ASSUME THAT SWINGERS HAVE SOME SORT OF SECRET SYMBOL IN FRONT OF THEIR HOMES TO ADVERTIZE THEY ARE SWINGERS?

 

I could understand the myth pre-internet, but in a time where every bored housewife is on facebook 5 hours a day, WHY THE HELL WOULD WE NEED PLANTS OR LAWN GNOMES TO SAY WE ARE SWINGERS?!?!.

 

Ok rant off.

 

I thought all of the women were more attractive than "average" so that starts the article/show on the wrong foot for me.

 

As usual the guys are the anchors. But its for a show, no one wants to watch a show about unattractive people having sex (even if they don't show the sex) even unattractive people. They are going to pick the better looking ones.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

... but in a time where every bored housewife is on facebook 5 hours a day....

 

Hey, now! Don't insult me like that! I spend no less than 10 hours a day on Facebook!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

The swinger lifestyle to be explored in new reality show - NYPOST.com

 

The reality show will be set in Atlanta, which happens to have a bustling swinger scene. The complex nuances of these kinds of relationships will be explored, as will the psychology behind this way of life.

[knb2004 364]

I certainly do not move my wedding ring to my right hand.

 

I do, but not as a signal (subtle or otherwise) that we're in the lifestyle. I have a scar on my "wedding ring" finger right where the ring sits, and the slightest swelling (from water retention or whatever) and my ring gets uncomfortably tight, so I switch it.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

I am always skeptical when I see "reality" anything, because it is rarely real. I am even more skeptical when it comes to reality swinging. I just don't know many (probably any) real swingers that would be willing to put themselves out there like that. Am am not even sure I have chatted/posted with more than 2-3 swingers online that would be willing.

 

That said it looks like, from their site, that Discovery is at least attempting to produce something that really looks at swingers, what makes us tick and who we are. I guess I will watch it and see how they do on in that regard.

 

I am sure it will gets some good ratings, after all sex sells. I am also reasonably sure the comments on the their site will run the typical gamut of anti-swinging phobics.

[VegasLee 1,486]

Because there are SWINGERS that still spread that nonsense around the Internet claiming we have symbols and secret handshakes.

 

Ok, maybe they are not real swingers or even real humans but they hang out in Swinger forums spreading it around. The press has no choice but to run with it. They don't know who the swingers from the actors are.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE ASSUME THAT SWINGERS HAVE SOME SORT OF SECRET SYMBOL IN FRONT OF THEIR HOMES TO ADVERTIZE THEY ARE SWINGERS?

 

Because we do.

 

But we took a vote at the last meeting and decided not to tell you. Of course, I just gave away the fact we had a meeting and didn't tell you. But that is not a big deal, because we had already taken a vote not to tell you about the secret hand shake and pass phrase. And you can't get in with them.

 

Swinger or not, I am not putting white rocks in my yard or painting my house pink with purple trim. And if you are a swinger and have done that, please do not invite us over for a house party, I would never make it paste the end of the driveway.

[Chicup 41]

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

We had to do something to keep the beast shown in your avatar from hogging all them women. Simple as that!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm sure we'll see some interesting discussions here about the show as it airs.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I'll probably DVR it and check it out on a slow weekend. Might as well see how they run with it.

[Chicup 41]

I'll probably DVR it and check it out on a slow weekend. Might as well see how they run with it.

 

I find either they go the pretty people route, the freak route, or the crappy marriage route with most swinger "documentaries". I've seen so few things about swingers with average or normal people.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

We've been doing it all wrong, that explains a lot! When we moved into our home, the first thing I did was kill and cut the papas grass down (evil invasive species). We wondered about the pineapple but didn't really give it any thought. Anyways, now I need to stop by the hardware store on the way home and pick up some purple paint (does is need to be any particular shade?) and order some white landscape rock.

 

Now that we have instructions, we won't get caught doing 'it' wrong again!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Changing It Up in the Bedroom

 

Also, don't forget to set your tivo, as this starts Sunday, Sept 7, a week from tonight.

[Chicup 41]

Ironically the people setting their Tivo for this have the least to learn from the series

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Ironically the people setting their Tivo for this have the least to learn from the series

 

Says you. Give it a chance. Watch it first. Then judge.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Says you. Give it a chance. Watch it first. Then judge.

 

I watched the trailer and it made it tough not to judge the show rather harshly, but I'll watch the first episode, at least.

[divenaked 325]

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/01/arts/television/changing-it-up-in-the-bedroom.html?_r=0

 

Also, don't forget to set your tivo, as this starts Sunday, Sept 7, a week from tonight.

 

Saturday, Sept 7!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Just a reminder, if you are planning to catch this, that the first installment of this show airs tonight.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Watching now. Has the ring of truth except: the people are a little too pretty and a little too young to be representative of the lifestyle. And soft swap? We have never in eight years encountered this. Maybe we're running with the wrong crowd.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Okay, so I watched the first episode. I didn't find it particularly entertaining and thought much of it was overwrought and overly scripted (maybe in the editing room), but it wasn't a big giant suck of awful, either, because I think people interested in swinging would find it useful in starting a conversation. I set the dvr to record the second episode, but I doubt I'll watch more than those two episodes.

 

Honestly, though, I'd much rather watch Fashion Police (with every Joan Rivers comment muted).

[Chicup 41]

You should try Ru Paul's drag race. That is always entertaining.

[DownunderFun 19]

We have seen this when it was originally released as Swinger Wives. Whilst I thought it dealt with various issues in the lifestyle, having so many of them from each couple made it seem like the biggest drama ever! I much prefer Swing, a little more light hearted and much more action.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

We tivo'd it and watched it tonight. It is an ongoing show. The first episode will be on at 9pm next Sat before the new one at 10.

 

My husband's take: That's an hour we'll never get back. Typical reality show drivel. The same drama they show with buying a house, running a restaurant, making fashion, top model, they're all the same. I don't think anyone would learn anything about the lifestyle by watching that show. The worst part, No ONE had sex!

 

My take: I thought it was pretty realistic as far as the people being regular people. But, compared to people we know, it seemed like there was some pretty poor decisions being made. The dramatic music is not something we typically experience either...

 

It was very interesting to see the different struggles the people were going through. One girl wanting to tell her vanilla friend, one girl dealing with guilt because of her Baptist background, one with body image issues after having a baby and a new couple completely unprepared and ill-equipped to swing.

 

I thought they tried to bring up some important points about rules, going at the pace of the slower person and communicating.

 

I thought the telling the friend (and I have told a friend) and talking to the pastor, were really just awful.

 

It definitely didn't make swinging seem as fun and amazing as it is for me.

 

I will watch it again, but I like Project Runway and Top Chef better.

 

My husband won't watch again and likes swinger porn better

[LFM2 1,482]

 

My husband's take: That's an hour we'll never get back. Typical reality show drivel.

 

Pretty much how we felt. I doubt we'd watch it again.

 

It is a typical reality show. They embellish some parts to make it look good.

 

I think it was Chicup that said if they made his life into a swingers show, it would be boring; I have to agree.

 

Do you think people would want to sit watch me clean, type on a computer, or do dishes? Nope. My life is BORING. I bring it to life maybe once or twice a month if we're lucky anymore. I'd be cancelled by any network.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

The dramatic music is not something we typically experience either...

 

Really!?!?! I do, I mean, well......not really, forget that, forget what I was saying. NO, NO I don't hear it either. Never. NO, seriously, move on now.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Okay, maybe I should not post this as I have only watched clips of the show and not the actual show but I few things strike me as....well, odd.

 

1. Some of these people are "concerned" that their families would think negative of them if they found out. Well, unless your entire family and everyone they know live under a rock, the WILL know now. So, I have to wonder are these actors or real swingers that are being coached what to say.

 

2. In a couple of clips there seems to be WAY too much alcohol involved for the given situation, as one couple is clearly impaired. Which of course leads to drama.

 

3. There is WAY to much drama and jealousy going on. People freaking out about their spouses flirting with and touching someone else. Ummm, what exactly do they think will happen next?!?

 

Number 1 above I just cannot reconcile. Unless these people thing outing themselves on TV is some how easier than doing so face to face I don't get it. Frankly, if they think that I don't get it.

 

Numbers 2 & 3, yes I have seen both of these in the LS, but it is the exception (at least with the people we hang with) rather than the rule. The drinking part is more common the drama (at least at that stage of meeting, with supposed experienced swingers).

 

So it begs a few questions:

A. Is there anything real about this REALITY show (BTW - typing is difficult when you are trying to control your laughter).

B. Is this more the norm than we realize? I mean, most of the regular posters here are very experienced swingers, so this show does not seem to portray what most of us have apparently experienced.

 

Are we the norm or the anomaly?

 

My thoughts are we are the norm (or sure as hell hope we are) and these guys are the anomaly. In fact it looks like they found a few couples that wanted to be on TV so badly that they would gladly say they are swingers for their 15 minutes of fame, but in fact have never be in the LS. Think about it, they never actually show them doing anything really sexual at all. Are they really wannabes or maybe even actors? Maybe they are real and want to swing but are so ill prepared for it that the drama can not help but come out.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Yes.

 

Seriously, we aren't as experienced as many of you, but we haven't come across any drama, excessive drinking (where someone is falling down drunk), or outright jealousy. Either people are smart enough to know to deal with that stuff at home or we've been incredibly lucky.

 

I haven't watched any reality swinger or poly shows and I don't intend to. What I'm afraid of is how all of these shows are inaccurately showing the swinging environment. For those who aren't familiar to it (for example, a family member who just heard that a relative is a swinger and decides to use these shows as an educational tool) will be further horrified at what we're involved in and think that it's petty, dramatic, drinking, drugs, irresponsible, blah, blah, blah. It's another example of hurting the image of swinging than helping.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

but I few things strike me as....well, odd.

 

You're probably too much like me, I absolutely detest reality shows since they have nothing to do with reality, and I just can't get my mind to move past that to look for even a smidgeon of redemption in any other aspect.

 

I haven't been watching, but I was hoping the subject matter itself was far enough outside the norm to be exciting, and that they could stay at least close to reality and it still would be captivating viewing for the audience, and still portray us in at least a halfway good light. But, not so it seems.

 

It's like Deadliest Catch. For the pilot and first episodes, it was awesome, one of my favorite shows. Just getting a peek inside what it takes to perform one of the world's most dangerous professions and seeing that beautiful yet terrifying footage of Mother Nature demonstrating who really holds the upper hand and who can squash you at will like a bug on the sidewalk, that was dramatic and real. But, that's wasn't enough. They had to bring in all the petty human bs drama before the show really took off as a hit, which is when I quit watching.

 

This sounds like the same thing. The subject matter itself should make it interesting, but evidently for some nothing is interesting unless it involves people behaving badly, as if they don't see enough of that in their real lives at work or wherever. I guess the reality tv winning formula is more developed now, so they just bring in the fake bs drama from the start.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I've been watching this show faithfully here are my thoughts. I got my husband to watch the first one with me. Going further was too tortuous for him.

 

Episode 1:

 

My husband's take: That's an hour we'll never get back. Typical reality show drivel. The same drama they show with buying a house, running a restaurant, making fashion, top model, they're all the same. I don't think anyone would learn anything about the lifestyle by watching that show. The worst part, No ONE had sex!

 

My take: I thought it was pretty realistic as far as the people being regular people. But, compared to people we know, it seemed like there was some pretty poor decisions being made. The dramatic music is not something we typically experience either...

 

It was very interesting to see the different struggles the people were going through. One girl wanting to tell her vanilla friend, one girl dealing with guilt because of her Baptist background, one with body image issues after having a baby and a new couple completely unprepared and ill-equipped to swing.

 

I thought they tried to bring up some important points about rules, going at the pace of the slower person and communicating.

 

I thought the telling the friend (and I have told a friend) and talking to the pastor, were really just awful.

 

It definitely didn't make swinging seem as fun and amazing as it is for me.

 

I will watch it again, but I like Project Runway and Top Chef better.

 

Brad won't watch again and likes swinger porn better.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Episode 2:

 

I watched the second episode. Ugh... Drama. But, I guess that's the point. I feel like these people are so impulsive and such poor communicators compared to real people we know. Most of the couples are very new to swinging. Two of them are engaged, but not married, so fairly new in their primary relationships also.

 

There is a new couple, because one of the other couples is off. The new couple seems more typical of people we know who've been married and in the lifestyle awhile.

 

I'm not sure if I can watch another or not. It really paints swinging in a negative light.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I just watched the 3rd episode of the swinger reality show on Discovery.

 

The main event is a bachelorette party for one of the girls. It is kind of messed up because the girl organizing invites 3 single guys without telling anyone (including her husband or the girls attending).

 

The couples talk about 50 -50. They all have a different idea about what this means and get in fights about it. For one it means they are always together when swinging. She goes out with girlfriends to the bachelorette party and dances with another man. Her husband gets bent out of shape because he considers her dirty dancing sexual contact. Another couple has only had fmf threesomes. The girl wants to be with another man. The guy doesn't want this. She says they agreed to 50 50. He says being with girls is 50 50 (She is bi). Another couple has problems in that the husband goes too fast with other girls and ignores the wife. The last couple, the girl who organized the party, wants to change their rules from 50 50 to allow her to date a single guy. This doesn't go over well.

 

Of course all of these arguments are very dramatic with accompanying music.

 

The one good part was when an experienced couple is trying to explain to the husband who goes to fast and ignores his wife that he needs to make her always feel like she is "the one". He is completely clueless and continues to kiss on the experienced wife. His wife storms off. DRAMA!

 

I believe next week is the last one for the season. Thank god!!

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

My husband says, "What's the name of that show again?"

 

"Secret Sex Lives," I say.

 

He says, "That makes no sense, there are no secrets and no sex!"

 

It's pretty crazy because they show pictures of all the wives from elementary, hs, etc. and talk about their background. Anyone who's ever known them would probably recognize them. It's kind of weird because they don't do this profiling on the guys. It's kind of like, "what wrong with these girls? how did this happen?"

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

One of the clips I watched had a M&G between two couples, one appeared to be a show regular and the other not. The one that did not appear to be a show regular seemed to be a legit swinger couple. They wife even said she was a bit confused by the other couple (who also appeared to be very drunk). THe show copuple start arguing over the male whispering to the other females, touching her etc.

 

Maybe it was because they were on TV but the non-show couple was a hell of lot more polite than I would have been. Had a couple we were talking with started that nonsense we would have moved on immediately and said have a nice life.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Home sick so I finally sat down and watched all 4 hours of this show (thanks to Tivo it was squeezed down to about 3 hours of time). I took notes. That said, I'll say right off that your take from the previews CoupleErotic22 is dead on. There were a few things that I saw that made me say "this has to be staged because it makes no sense". As for the drama, they need it for tv. There were two couples that seemed fairly stable, one of which created almost no drama and therefore had very little air-time. They also seemed to be a replacement couple for a couple that dropped out of swinging after the first episode (actually they'd basically already dropped out before the first episode following having their first baby).

 

My thoughts, may be somewhat disjointed...

 

I found it interesting that the opening credits only showed the female half of each couple's name.

 

"Swinging requires an extreme confidence in yourself and in your relationship" - So true.

 

Rebecca & Chris - Drama Central (guilt, jealousy)

"This could be the best night of your life" - Rebecca & Chris

 

Morning After Guilt - "I don't know how long I can keep this secret" - Not too long given that you just went public on national tv.

 

Talk to your pastor? Really? Another situation that just felt set up for tv. Anyone who heads to a pastor looking for the ok to swing is really deep down looking for a reason to stop (IMO).

 

To Chris after he doesn't want to talk to the pastor "I know we don't believe in any of the same things" - hmm might be a really BIG Red Flag.

 

First she just doesn't want to swing on their wedding night and now she's upset that he wants to swing 3 weeks before the wedding. Her initial jealousy in the first episode at him kissing someone else combined with her changes in attitude make me think that she's perhaps the type that needs it to be all about her.

 

You know the date isn't going well when the other couple calls you out on the fact that you're not paying enough attention to your wife. (I believe this is the situation that was referred to earlier in the thread. I didn't notice that the guy had been drinking too much, he seemed sober, just oblivious to the fact that his wife should still get some of his attention. It looked to me like the couple they met with noticed that things weren't quite right before they even switched up the seating arrangements).

 

I found it odd that her family didn't know about their relationship and they've been together for five years. Maybe I just misunderstood and they didn't know that they were engaged, or living together?

 

Misty & Jeff - the couple that ended up being the least drama

"we wouldn't involve our kids in our lifestyle" - evidently you would, you just did. I do give them props for not showing the kids face.

 

It was nice to see a different take on the being open with a vanilla friend about the lifestyle.

 

"I actually felt bad for them" (referring to the other ladies) - yeah me too.

 

The judgemental reactions of the girls to Misty dancing and flirting with the other guy were very interesting. I was just as surprised at his reaction. He was starting to sound like the father in Footloose. I described this situation to Pet and he felt like the reactions were appropriate, so maybe I'm just weird.

 

Lovelace & Dana - can only play with females because he can't handle the idea of her even touching another guys leg.

The house showing was very interesting, but I can't say we've never done anything like that when dealing with total strangers.

 

Doesn't want her to tell her friend about their lifestyle, when they are going to display it on TV? That just screams this is set up for TV. What is he protecting her from? The risks are much greater by displaying your life on national tv. I can definitely understand anyone's need to be able to be open about their lifestyle and have someone to talk to about it.

 

Wait wait, what? That whole big deal about telling her friend about swinging, yet she's totally open with this other "Big Mama" friend? I did like her plan of them writing out their rules separately and then coming together to compare and work it out.

 

Hali & Bryan - the 2nd most sane/balanced couple oddly.

"People are very open-minded" "I love having an atmosphere where people are feeling young and playful". I got the feeling that these two things meant the same thing in her book.

 

She knew their rules and still pressed the boundaries by inviting Brooks out to the Bachelorette party, that was all about her finding an excuse to spend time with him and asking for trouble.

 

Heidy & Jason

Fall into the category of so many reasons why they should not be swinging. Luckily, they realized it before it was too late. This was one of those cases where it seemed he was the main one interested and she'd be jealous and then when a potential situation arose it was the other way around.

Everett & Jaymee

Whether it's editing or not, he sounds like swinging is more important than she is to him. But, this isn't much different than a million similar situations we've seen here.

Not surprised to see that they totally dropped out after the first episode.

 

The Rundown

Episode 1/Swinging 101 - self confidence issues, jealousy, guilt

Episode 2/ Welcome to the Neighborhood - pushing the limits, One-sided swinging,

Episode 3/ Wives Gone Wild - feeling left out, establishing boundaries, changing rules,

Episode 4/ Swinger Wedding - no idea,

 

 

Found it funny that they were playing ChristianMingle ads during the show...

Isn't this the same network that has the show Virgin Diaries where they follow virgins trying to "lose it".

[DownunderFun 19]

We saw this show a few months back when it was aired here and wrote on our blog about it.  Since then Lovelace and Dana have split. Not that you couldn't see it coming. The show frustrated me in its portrayal of people in the Lifestyle. But I guess most of us normal/stable couples (I don't mean disrespect to the couples on the show) probably wouldn't be keen on the whole world knowing our business on the world stage. If only there was a way do participate in the show and superimpose someone else's head on our bodies.

[miacpl30 18]

It was terrible. Wife called it train wreck

[FL_Stylin 18]

I decided 10 minutes into the second episode that I couldn't take one more second of this show. There may be a lot of gold in the dross, but...no. I'll just go back to Fashion Police, where it's easy to know when to hit the mute button (yeah, Joan Rivers, you get muted).

Wow, I had pretty much the same reaction. Watched the first episode, tried the second, and just couldn't go through with it. I just found this show to be really annoying. Deleted the third episode without even attempting it.

 

I think if I'm going to take the time to absorb any swinger related media I'll go for any of the great podcasts that are put out or check out that show "Swing" from the Playboy network which I have heard good things about.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Glad we missed this.

 

If reading appeals more than watching drama on TV, try the new book Swingland by Daniel Stern.

[eldiablo311 201]

Thanks for the heads up on this show!

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I finally got to watch the final episode. It was not quite as bad as the others, actually maybe it was worse, but it's over now!

 

The main take-away from this episode was DON'T ask vanillas for advice about swinging. It would be a great advertisement for the swinger's board!

 

First, the Baptist girl goes back to the pastor. Which of course leads to lots of crying. She doesn't follow his advice anyhow, though.

 

Next, the girl who danced with the guy at the bachelorette party asks her neighbor for advice at the grocery store. The neighbor suggests throwing a party so the "betrayed" husband can meet the other couples. This makes absolutely no sense. Why in the world would you think having a party will smooth things over with your spouse? They do work things out fairly easily. He admits that he over-reacted. Strangely, no one blames the party giver for putting the girls in a bad situation by inviting single guys without telling anyone.

 

Then the girl who wants to full swap but her fiancee doesn't asks her business partner for advice. They come to the conclusion that she should keep pushing to play with guys.

 

The whole thing is so forced, scripted and dramatic.

 

The two couples mentioned above do end up swapping, but it is not portrayed as sexy or fun at all. They just tell you they did it.

 

According to the show notes the one couple (the first time swappers, reluctant male) are no longer together.

 

The couple with the girl who set up the single guy bachelorette party who wants to date a single guy goes to meet him to tell him she can't see him. The show ends with them kissing. I'm betting that doesn't go over great with her husband.

 

I think this show does a disservice to the lifestyle. The couples are troubled and don't seem to be having fun. It's not sexy at all.

 

BOOOOOO!

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

We've watched the entire series and even though we knew it was going to be a train wreck from the start, felt we needed to watch until the crash. As they say, any publicity is good publicity, then this is a good thing (I guess). At least it draws attention to something that most people don't think about (and probably wish they could participate in). It's hard to have a sexy show about sex when you can't really SHOW anything. The biggest thing to remember about 'reality' TV is that it is not real. How interesting would the show be if it was about several well adjusted, open, honest couples who communicated about what was happening and just enjoyed themselves without guilt or negative ramifications? Having a relative who was on a reality show (and now works behind the scenes on several other reality shows), he once told us that the producers told him 'if it could have happened, then it's real'.