Drinking and Smoking

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

In the topic of Does Weight Matter the subject of drinking and smoking and it's relationship to attractiveness was brought up. How do you feel about drinking and smoking? Turn-off or turn-on? Do you do it? If not will you play with others who do?

[Greekgod 15]

Good question Julie, I'm a single male so I'm a lightdrinker/nonsmoker. I don't think I can be with a couple that are like smokestacks, I mean constantly lighting up a cigarette. But if the female didn't smoke and the husband(not a heavy smoker) did I think I would let that slide. As for the drinking, as long as they are not falling down drunk than I have no problem with people who enjoy alcohol. I've been lucky so far since I'm currently seeing 2 couples that are nonsmokers nondrinkers.

[ILcouple 15]

We both smoke (moderatly) and do drink on occasion

And have no qualms about others doing it also as long as they dont light up during sex hack up a lung etc. As for drinking goes we would not like to meet the full blown drunk because face it alcohol makes the dick limp in most cases and what fun is a limp dick? I do not see any uses for them that excite me.

 

Rachel *ms clairols lab rat*

[Bill O 15]

We feel a little funny excluding people because of their habits - too many vertical friends would exclude us if they knew about our lifestyle.

 

However, smoking has become part of our 'evaluation criteria' when we are looking at other couples. You know like, "...they look a bit old/young, and the guy's not that attractive, and she looks like a smoker". Looks like a smoker! For those of you 35+ smokers that haven't realized it yet, one can spot a long time smoker from across the room even if they aren't smoking. The skin is dried out and in particular, the facial skin looks older than the body skin. I don't know why that is but it's pretty obvious.

[CanadianCouple 18]

All the couples we've swung with so far were smokers. One lady in particular was practically a human chimney. If I had my druthers, I'd prefer a non smoker, but it isn't a significant issue with either of us.

 

Neither is drinking, within reason. Once signs of impending intoxication become evident, the sex is off the table for us.

 

Dan

[gourmet cook 15]

Canadian cpl,

For what its worth are you smokers?

GC

[ColoCpl 15]

We do not smoke, drink or use drugs. We do not like the smell of tobacco smoke in other folks hair and clothes. If they smell like a stale ashtray we find it a huge turnoff. Even if they brush their teeth and use Scope it is still in their lungs and you can smell it when they exhale. That is not to say that they are not very wonderful folks; we just are not interested. Personal preference is all.

[CanadianCouple 18]

For what its worth are you smokers?

GC

No.

 

Dan

[frisson 16]

A drink or two is okay. Anyone who looks even close to being drunk--slurred speech, etc., is off the list for the night. Not just because that individual is going to be a flop in the bedroom, but because we believe that clear-headed consent is the essence of swinging. The last thing we want is to have sex with somebody who regrets it a couple of hours later "because I was too drunk to know what I was doing."

 

For ourselves, we are light drinkers--usually no more than a drink or two over the course of an evening. Sometimes we'll party all night without anything stronger than a Pepsi. We don't need to get oiled to have a good time at a swing party. If dirty dancing with a horny stranger and half-naked women groping each other on the dance floor doesn't do it for you, you need a new hobby.

 

As to smoking... We don't smoke. We try not to make artificial or arbitrary rules about age, weight, personal habits. For us, it's all "in the moment." If we're attracted, we're attracted. And if the attraction is mutual, then we'll act on it.

 

But in general, smoking tends to be a turnoff. As others have noted, smoking creates an unpleasant odor that mouthwash, perfume, and cologne can't completely disguise. And there's no allure in the yellowed teeth of many long-term smokers.

 

Have we partied with smokers? Yes. But we have said no to many more. And we have never said yes to anyone who blew smoke in our faces while trying to seduce us.

[sccple29073 15]

i think smoking does matter. We recently quit smoking and when we did smoke i prefered someone that did smoke.

However now that we do not smoke i prefer someone who doesn't smoke. When you are a smoker you do not notice the smell but once you quit I can't help but think "OMG..Did I smell like that"...lol.

As far as drinking..It does not bother me as long as they do not get sloppy drunk, I just

hate to think..that its the only way they could

participate.

[Cheekyimp1 15]

Neither my hubby or I smoke. In fact I'm really allergic to it so we prefer nonsmokers. Not to mention the fact that we don't allow people to smoke in our home. And I personally don't care for the taste of a smoker's mouth. ick. As far as drinking it's okay as long as they don't drink too much too often.

[anandjeff2 15]

I don't smoke and neither does Jeff. My Mum and sis were major smokers and I prefer not to be around smokers. We have been with people who smoked but they would not smoke in our presence went outside but it does linger. as for drinking we like a drink here and there socially but people who are drunks and cannot stop chugging the beers are not my cuppa tea so we will consider smokers and social drinkers but only if e get to know them..we have decided against a few at times..just too darn smelly!

[TNT 1,155]

We both smoke and drink on occasion but, we try very hard to be considerate smokers when we are with people that do not smoke.

 

Ted always carries tooth-picks with him and I always carry breath mints, so that when we are in a situation with non-smokers, we have something to naw until an appropriate time comes where we can excuse ourselves and step out side for a quick puff or two. I know that breath mints don't totally hide the smell or taste, but they do help.

 

As far as drinking, Ted usually has one or two drinks the whole night because he is always the designated driver and he watches me like a hawk and cuts me off before I have had to many. No one likes a total drunk.

 

Teresa

[Randy and Kim 15]

Toothpicks?

 

LOL, I can think of dozens of uses for toothpicks, but not really in the context of considerate smokers that swing

[Tanman aka Mike and Marie 16]

Marie and I are non-smokers and social drinkers. For us as well smoking has become a criteria for who we choose to be with. There is a lot of smoking going on at the club but there are also a lot of people that are non-smokers also(as noticed on this thread as well).

 

That is not to say we won't hook-up with a couple someday who might be smokers...just as long as they don't chain smoke. But we haven't met someone yet that it had to be overlooked. As far as drinking goes social drinking would be fine, but that is where we draw the line, anything beyond that as a habit we wouldn't be interested in.

 

It may help you get in the mood but it also affects your "performance"

[Brian and Jo 344]

Jo and I are not smokers but we do enjoy a drink or two in moderation. We prefer not to swing with couples who are smokers unless there is a really overwhelming attraction between the four of us. Over the many years that we have been swinging we have found that light social drinking is a good way for everyone to get into a relaxed mood which helps to bring down the barriers and get the ball rolling so to speak. This is especially true when we are with another couple for the first time. But we try to avoid heavy drinkers because of the effect on their performance - the last thing Jo wants when she is really turned on by a guy and ready for a good fuck is for him to have a case of brewers droop!

[wildkycpl30 15]

we both think thats as long as people wo do or dont smoke respect the other people by asking if it is ok to smoke or not it shouldnt be a problem

[Guest everlast]

This was a very interesting insight into the "swinger mentality", neither myself or my wife have swung yet and have been actively reading up on this pastime.

 

I would have thought most people would have prefered a few drinks to take the edge off of what one would expect to be a potentially tense situation. It seems many people do not like to have any drinks (or one or two at most).

 

Is this generally after you've already got to know someone and can converse with them on a day to day basis. Or if you were getting together with a new couple for the first time wouldn't a few drinks ease the tension a bit?

[ILcouple 15]

Originally posted by everlast:

 

I would have thought most people would have prefered a few drinks to take the edge off of what one would expect to be a potentially tense situation. It seems many people do not like to have any drinks (or one or two at most).

 

Is this generally after you've already got to know someone and can converse with them on a day to day basis. Or if you were getting together with a new couple for the first time wouldn't a few drinks ease the tension a bit?

 

 

a few drinks are ok with us it does help one relax but too much alcohol can lead to other problems mr winky doesnt seem to want to work and some people just get down right rude. With being new to this lifestyle *and even for those who are not* if their is a jealousy issue. I can say for certain jealousy and alcohol do not mix.

[anniegunz13 15]

We have been with couples who do both - the smoking is definitely a concern if we are in a confined area with them and since we both don't smoke - we would not/could not stay. It's a definite health concern - there must be some respect shown for the non-smokers even in this lifestyle.

 

We are moderate drinkers and usually bring a bottle of wine and whatever with us - but we will be driving in most cases - so it is always moderate and the alcohol can and will inhibit the fun - too much to drink will undoubtedly have negative results.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

thought I would bump this up and get some new thoughts.

 

If you are a non-smoker do you seek out only other non-smokers? non-drinkers do you prefer to play only with non-drinkers?

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

I am a drinker! I like a good night of swinging to top off a good night of drinking. OK, let me have it..............

 

I do smoke but if I am the only smoker there I will not smoke.

[wrnakedru 38]

We are VERY light drinkers, and are not comfortable with those who drink heavily.

 

We are both smokers and are frankly more at ease with those who also smoke. The whole topic just becomes a non-issue if that is the case.

 

I have been a non-smoker for extended periods of time and can understand completely all the reasons that those who don't smoke prefer those who don't.

 

Have encountered the occasional folks who say it doesn't matter one way or the other to them, but even so I feel self conscious. It is difficult [for me] to feel comfortable when it has become such a 'hot button' issue.

[bugaboos 16]

I'm a non smoker, hubby is a smoker. We both drink socially. We have no problems with smokers or drinkers, but wouldn't want to swing with people who were drunk. If the couple we're with doesn't smoke, hubby excuses himself to have a cigarette.

[BiCoupleNJ 15]

We agree with bugaboos: We are both non-smokers, but we are OK with those that are smokers, so long as they are considerate of our desire to steer clear of smokey environments. We had a long term relationship with a couple that both smoked, yet it worked out well because they would, as ms bugaboos' husband would, excuse themselves, take a walk outside & have a smoke. They knew we were both allergic to smoke, so it worked very well for all of us, resulting in being friends & more for 10+ years.

 

As for drinkers, we are both social drinkers, but seldom, if ever, get out of hand (hey... we ALL tend toss our limits aside once in a while & drink until we're drunk). A couple of drinks is fine to take off the edge, especially if it is a relatively new experience - either the other couple is new to swinging or we are meeting for the first time.

 

But we do draw the line at those that overindulge. That brings up a somewhat funny experience - years ago, when I first got Liz into swinging, we met with a couple. the 1st couple of social meetings went well and we decided to meet for more intimate pleasures. It was a 1st meeting for all 3 others, with only me having previous lifestyle experience. Unbeknownst to us, the girl had nearly 2 6-packs on their drive to meet with us. At the house, she had 5 or 6 more beers, which had both of us concerned, but we shrugged it off at the time. When we did get down to the intimate part of the evening, the girl couldn't hold her bladder... while I was eating her out, she let go, just nearly missing me, but getting the bed rather wet. I smacked her in the ass & told her to go to the bathroom, which she did. A while later, while doing her anally in the missionary position, she let loose again. This time, her stream hit me & splashed all over her. NOT a fun experience!

 

Looking back on it a couple days later, I said to Liz that I don't mind watersports, but jeez... at least let me know about it before you begin to indulge!!!

 

Jerry & Liz

[b_and_sc 16]

my hubby is a smoker and we both will have a drink or two socially, however we will not play with a couple where either of them is a chimney or a drunk...that's just such a turn-off.

[BiCoupleNJ 15]

Makes sense... all things in moderation seems to be the appropriate key, whether or not one is a smoker or drinker.

 

But we have one question - is it just us... or does it seem like awful close to 100% of swingers are smokers? We know that's a bit of an exaggeration, but the few times we have visited swinger socials, it seemed that many more people smoked than not.

 

Interesting... no?

[yawanna 17]

hedonists..physical pleasures.. drinking..smoking...sex....pleasure for pleasure nothing more. I don't think it's 100 %. Our clubs up here may be all non smoking in the next month or two. Laws.

 

Ah yes.. the Big City Life

[meowkittyhascla 17]

Hubby is a non-smoker, and I like a cigerette socially. We both are light drinkers. We don't mind smokers or drinkers, but no drunks or captain herbalife's, if you get my drift, or any other kinds of drugs. That is one thing we have noticed with the couples that we have met in the lifestyle...none were drug-takers. Is this common in other regions of the United States? Just curious!

Hey, ya'll...wishing a Happy Weekend and lots of love!

[magnum 78]

Personally, I do not like cigarette smoke smell. The couple I swing with are both non-smokers so it is not an issue with us.

 

We do however like to have champagne during our play time and occasionally the husband and I will ck. the time "420" after we are done playing...

 

If I get the opportunity to swing with a smoker, as long as they do not reek of cigarette smoke I am willing to play...

[tazzie_n_truck 17]

We would have to agree that it's a comfort thing.

 

Neither of us smoke and we rarely drink. We don't mind meeting couples who smoke most of the time, mainly with Tazzie being pregnant right now, she can't be around the smoke, but as long as people are not like a chimney around us smoking don't bother us, as far as drinking goes, we don't mind if people have a few drinks to loosen up, but not to the point that they are falling out of their chair drunk.

 

For the most part, it depends on if we are comfortable with them smoking around or not. So mainly with us it's a comfort thing.

 

[Alura 2,774]

We don't smoke and would prefer playmates who don't, but there are, for some reason, a lot of fine folks out there who smoke.

 

It seems to us that a large percentage (much higher than the general population) of swingers smoke. We couldn't even hope to guess why.

[tisha 15]

Smoking is just something, some people do, My husband doesnt smoke ciggerettes or anything else"", But I am a heavy smoker. I am very self concious of my breath, teeth, and smell. I brush my teeth before I kiss him, he says the taste doesnt bother him, but its something I prefer to do. You have to remember that smokers in general will become very very turned off if you act like it bothers you, dont get me wrong if they are smelly, and blowing smoke in your face, by all means speak up ! Its like the topics you dont discuss, politics,religion,abortion,animal right,drugs,children,and SMOKING.

Tish

[froggyjenn80 15]

We both are non smokers and very very very light drinkers (if we even drink at all) We have been with both drinkers and smokers. We dont mind as long as they are not impaired from the drinking, and the smoking doesn't have that taste in their mouth. We highly recommend Altoids for that problem.

 

That's us.

[let's do it again 414]

Personally we don't drink or smoke while swinging. Afterwards we will have a drink. I have seen swingers get sick from drinking too much and not to mention performance issues. I have seen more pot smoked than tobacco and that is usually before or after the sex.