I think we have found the rare single female...maybe

[ncalfuncpl 20]

We quest for the Single Female for a FFM is what brought us into the lifestyle, but we have found couples to be a lot of fun.

 

I (The Male) always thought it should be the female approach the other female to invite her, especially if we believe she is vanilla.

 

After years of no luck, a drunken night on facebook, I asked a female friend from High School, if she would join us, I very quickly got a yes answer back, with a condition...that she could have a night with me solo.

 

My GF and I discussed it, she read the conversation between me and this other girl had on Facebook. We normally do not play separate, but she agreed. a she said lets do this.

 

I contacted the Single female "When would you like to do this?" She needed a couple of weeks to recover from some oral surgery then game on...

 

less than a week later the Single female contacts me "If we are going to do this we need to do it, I have started dating someone and I think it will get serous and I don't want to cheat on him.." I went back "We are available this weekend" She came back "I Work weekends" I said "How about Monday night then? I will book us a nice Hotel" She said "I need to meet your GF first"

 

I managed to get the girls together to talk on the phone...now their schedules just don't mesh to get together...

 

At what point do you say f..it and move on?

 

Single Females thou are really hard to find...

[sunbuckus 3,569]

After years of no luck, a drunken night on facebook, I asked a female friend from High School, if she would join us, I very quickly got a yes answer back, with a condition...that she could have a night with me solo.

 

 

ncalfuncpl, the part in bold is what I feel is a red flag. Hopefully others will disagree with me and say that it isn't but when I first broached a threesome with myself, Mr. Sun, and a single male, the extra male had that same condition--to play solo with me before any threesome. Mr. Sun, in his great foresight, nixed that idea. I think somewhere, he was able to sense that it was a red flag. However, we were newbies at the time. You two aren't so that might be the difference.

 

As for the rest of the situation...I'd say screw it. Clearly, there's just a scheduling conflict or she isn't really interested in working up to that FMF or even that one night with you since she now has a boyfriend.

[ncalfuncpl 20]

The condition was a big issue, it appears to be off the table now, but with a secure relationship in the lifestyle, we were able to discuss this and find it to be acceptable. We were even able to discuss rules if it was to be on going..that is between us...but isn't that what this is all about..

[81lizard69 470]

Close only counts in hand gernades and ffm's,,, I think your wife only secretly wants to have mmf's lol

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I just typed a bunch of stuff and erased it, because it doesn't really matter. Your question is when do you move on and the answer for that is you don't. You keep each option that develops open until the person on the other side closes it.

 

For the stuff you didn't ask, I wouldn't worry about a woman's condition of a night alone with you. She might or might not collect, but the answer she gets is going to pinpoint whether there will be drama with your girlfriend. As for who should approach whom, it depends on where the attraction starts. Mr. Doe frequently wanders off and comes back with a woman. He even did it this weekend and we weren't anywhere near swingers.

 

Finding others to join in isn't difficult, but it does take time, being open enough that you don't contribute to any scheduling conflicts and - maybe the hardest thing for some folks - signaling that you are truly available sexually.

[81lizard69 470]

Finding others to join in isn't difficult, but it does take time, being open enough that you don't contribute to any scheduling conflicts and - maybe the hardest thing for some folks - signaling that you are truly available sexually.

This is great advice. Women are probably more courious about sex than me. Esp woman that figure out that they have a much larger desire for sex than men. Keep the door open be charming and good things will come. You will find what works for you. Women talk and if they find out that a Unicorn had a good time with you she will tell others and the word will spread. You can always enhance your chances by getting outside advice on how you appear to the women you want to attract and then give them that look. What I think would attract a woman is different from what really does. So keep that door open. Say Hello to her and do not pressure her.

[asncpl 730]

Other than the red flag comment by Sun, I'd say keep at it for a bit. There was a time when husband and I worked full-time with unpredictable hours and scheduling play can be difficult. As you already said, a unicorn is hard to find and if the girls have talked and seem to get along, except for the scheduling conflicts, it may be worth it to try to work it out.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

When I first replied, I had thought that I read that the condition was that she had to play solo with you first before any threesome. But now that I read it again, that part is unclear whether it had to occur first or sometime later down the road...and it isn't a condition/request anymore? Earlier, I also couldn't figure out a way to explain why it was a red flag but if I were to put myself into the shoes of a vanilla, single woman who got asked out of the blue to have a threesome from a male from my past that I may have been attracted to...I would have been more interested in having just sex with him--which would be the reason for the condition of playing solo with him but only having the threesome to placate him (or having a slight interest in trying it).

 

Also, the fact that you mentioned that she was worried about cheating on her boyfriend with having a threesome sets something off for me as well. I know it's early in a relationship and it can be best to stay monogamous during that period if the persons in the relationship are open to being non-monogamous. However, to me, it sounds like she doesn't really understand how non-monogamy works. I can't understand why she wouldn't be honest with her new boyfriend that she had this arrangement with you two beforehand. And the sense that she considers any sex outside of a relationship to be cheating and not the dishonesty of lying about it makes me wonder if some sort of drama might occur down the line. I'm sure that a lot of men would have been excited to hear that their potential girlfriend is interested in doing a threesome which would lead to more open conversation about their possible sexual future but from the limited information (which means I could be 100% off the mark) it sounds like she doesn't really approve of extra-marital sex.

 

But, as the more experienced forum members have given you advice, it couldn't hurt to leave your options open. After all, I'm just going on what is written here and my own thought process of what may or may not be going through your sort-of-single woman Facebook friend so I could be wrong!

[ncalfuncpl 20]

Thank you for all your advice...this worked out. The girls ended up going to dinner together, talk between them, and became friends.

 

we all worked our schedules and locations, we came together in a nice hotel room..and had a great time...working on when we can do it again.

 

As the man...this was such a treat..24 hours later you couldnt take the smile off my face

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

If you've not already, you should write up the experience and share it in the stories section or at least the swinger experiences section.