Swinging: a candid, personal reflection on our history as a couple

[DigginIt 1,132]

So, you are new to swinging. You have read through these boards and learned a great deal. You’ve gotten tons of advice (some even from this couple, Digginit, lol) You’re excited, you have your online profile and ready for your first experience but have you thought about where you will be five years from now?

 

What will swinging look like almost five years down the road? Here are personal reflections (cliff notes version) we thought we would share with those who are new, long time veterans who have been where we are at today, and those who are really bored with nothing else to read, haha!

 

Feel free to comment, respond or even criticize but a very candid look into our lives.

 

Here is what I hope is a fun/interesting take on the lifestyle and how we have changed as a result of it.

 

Stats (sluts by some standards, conservative by others):

 

Thirteen Couples slept with (three long-term, four one night stands, six with occasional repeats)

Two eventually elevated to bareback.

Five Single Guys

Three Single Girls

Six counts of BV (none before the lifestyle)

Four UTI’s (feel resulted from the lifestyle)

Active on three websites (SLS, Kasidie and Lifestyle Lounge)

60 GB of photo’s/video’s

Seven thousand emails exchanged across the three (maybe 1/3 of that in sext msg’s)

Best guess of about 100+ couples met on an actual dates arranged from one of the three above.

About double that for casual couple meets at socials/events.

$3,000 in costumes (best estimate from doing quick math from closet inventory)

Four lifestyle vacations (Caribe, Hedo, Brilliance Cruise and Freedom Cruise in 24 days).

Witnessed five break ups, three divorces.

 

Personal changes (some lifestyle related, some we have just always wanted to do)

Her – lost 60 lbs., breast augmentation

Him – lost 15 lbs., completed 1st of 2 hair restoration procedures, started laser hair removal (brazillian)

Both – attempt to go to gym regularly, eat healthier and both plan on getting braces after the cruise (most likely invisalign).

 

Personal thoughts on swinging success - successfulness in swinging (first opinion, chapter one) is about your own relationship and how you use these encounters to grow together.

 

Clift notes through the years:

 

Year one – this was a period of extreme emotional highs and lows for us, we couldn’t seem to meet couples fast enough and when there wasn’t a connection, it felt exhausting and depressing; we were constantly on an emotional roller coaster ride.

 

Year two – we were still optimistic but we reached the conclusion that since we were not bed notchers, and picky -- our potential partners were much more limited than we thought they would be when we first started. We decided to try a lifestyle trip and booked Calente.

 

Year three – we had one long term relationship, and entered two others. We were very content with the way our swinging encounters were moving and we continued to still meet others, go to parties, socials and clubs but stuck primarily to our core friends. We attended Hedo.

 

Year four – broke off one relationship, the other two continued to flourish. Less activity than the previous three years. Overall, still very much enjoyed our times with our friends and meeting new couples. Attended Brilliance cruise.

 

Year five (6 months into it) – moved from Florida to New York area and it’s like we are starting from scratch. Attending our 2nd cruise which currently is the center of our excitement. We feel as if we have come full circle and are back at year one again, trying to meet new people and build relationships.

 

Looking back over our time, we have learned that we immensely enjoy being naked around lots of other swingers. We value the partners we sleep with routinely with the occasional one night stand and some of the best friends we have met have been through the lifestyle.

 

We can’t wait to see how years 6 – 10 stack up.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

It was interesting reading how swinging has changed from year to year for you guys. Thanks for sharing this with us and I wish you guys lots of fun in your next 5 years!

[lotsoffun201 175]

My personal reflection from the male

 

Our profile has been on here for a while and for me it has encompassed TWO marriages. I figured it was easier to keep the profile so here is my take on the results of swinging:

 

First wife. Married for years. She was always bisexual.

Started playing with couples after a few years instead of just single females

Started off as soft swap

Progressed to full swap after about 2 years

She wanted single males and started playing with single males

Became obsessed with a few and since you see there have been two spouses since the inception of the profile, you have to figure there was a divorce DUE to the lifestyle

 

Second and current Mrs

Been together for three years.

Started out as soft swap

A couple of UTI's

Decided she is not all that into girls, which is cool. She did want to try and will fool around a little but not too much more

Learned to dress seductively and sexy (used to wear capri pants and sandals to dress up) Now she doesnt own any more, all heels are over 4" and no skirts below the knee

Progressed to full swap selectively

Loves to flirt with others and became the life of the party

No single males......once bitten twice shy you know

[81lizard69 470]

This has been one of my favorite Threads. Thank you for the good writing and research.

Kudos.