How will I feel watching her if I get off first and she's still going?

[Paired4Life 15]

Hi all. As you know, we're new to this lifestyle. Our only experiences have been two threesomes with another woman (my wife is very bi-sexual). After each of the threesomes, everything was fine. We all had a great time and the sex between my wife and I was incredible for months after. Most importantly, the communication after the encounters was excellent. I found watching my wife pleasuring someone else and being pleasured incredibly erotic. To my surprise, she found me being with the other woman just as erotic. Now, after months of discussion, we've decided to try a foursome with another couple. This is a huge step for us. We've been married nearly twenty years and still act like newlyweds both in and out of the bedroom.

 

When we discuss trying a foursome it's exciting. Talking about it during sex is even more exciting but, after I ejaculate, some of the excitement wears off. I know this is to be expected. But, my concern is is this, if, during a foursome, I ejaculate first and the excitement wears off, what kind of emotions can I expect while waiting for my wife and her partner to finish? I know this sounds silly, but it's weighing on my mind. Do any of you have similar feelings, experiences or advice you can share with me here?

 

Thanks.

[junglecouple 127]

you may end up becoming a bit impatient if you're done, and they're still hard at it.. and still, and still..

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I would recommend that you continue giving attention to your swapped partner. Girls can stay entertained by more things than just a stiff dick. Fingers and tongues and nibbles on nipples can keep the pot boiling and even make a woman boil over again. You might loose interest, but she doesn't. Treat her well and she'll be on the phone wanting more again the next weekend.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I would recommend that you continue giving attention to your swapped partner. Girls can stay entertained by more things than just a stiff dick. Fingers and tongues and nibbles on nipples can keep the pot boiling and even make a woman boil over again. You might loose interest, but she doesn't. Treat her well and she'll be on the phone wanting more again the next weekend.

 

I totally agree with this. I really like it when he keeps playing with me. Often he'll get hard again.

 

The other thing I enjoy is taking a break and watching my spouse with the other guy. Sometimes he'll get hard again. Most guys enjoy watching their wife in action. You might too.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I would recommend that you continue giving attention to your swapped partner. Girls can stay entertained by more things than just a stiff dick. Fingers and tongues and nibbles on nipples can keep the pot boiling and even make a woman boil over again. You might loose interest, but she doesn't. Treat her well and she'll be on the phone wanting more again the next weekend.

 

What he said.

 

I wish more men got this, that women aren't necessarily done because you've ejaculated. In fact, I'm sufficiently aroused by a man coming that it ramps up my desire. It would certainly give you something to do besides wait and possibly fret.

[Chicup 41]

I know this is to be expected. But, my concern is is this, if, during a foursome, I ejaculate first and the excitement wears off, what kind of emotions can I expect while waiting for my wife and her partner to finish?

 

I'd guess impatience. You had your fun, the desire is over, and now you are going to be hungry, bored, etc.

The next would be insecurity. After all you just did your thing and THEY are still going. It will be your own feeling of inadequacy creeping to get you. Did she enjoy it? Is my wife liking this better than me? etc.

 

So follow the advice above, focus on your partner until they are done.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Haha, I don't think I have ever seen this question posed. I've been on both sides, the one who finished first and the one that seems can't finish. I'm overly attuned to taking too long because MD doesn't like marathon sex, lol.

 

If you plan on being with the couple on an ongoing basis then you will know where you fit (sprinter or marathon) compared to the other guy and then just gauge your time. If you are a sprinter, spend more time doing other things before actually getting to the sex because you DON'T want to finish and the other wife is sitting there bored, lol. That will be a sure way to never see them again.

[JB 140]

The other thing I enjoy is taking a break and watching my spouse with the other guy. Sometimes he'll get hard again. Most guys enjoy watching their wife in action. You might too.

Great topic!

 

I agree timing is sometimes a hard thing to adjust to. Sometimes it works out where everyone finishes within seconds of each other and sometimes there is a giant time lag.

 

A few points to remember to make it easier.

 

1. To echo funcoupledayton; Watching.

Just about everyone I know loves to watch their spouse, you apparently are one of them. So in this time period when you have already finished, and are waiting, I know the turn-on level is much reduced but pretend your brain is a video camera, and watch. The next day (or the next few months), play those memories back, you will go “WOW“.

 

2. One day the shoe will be on the other foot.

It will be YOU having a great time and it will be the other two asking you if it is ok if they go get a sandwich.

 

3. Post action debriefing.

(not talking about removing underwear)

Hopefully you have a comfortable dialog with the person you just played with, and it is always fun to discuss what was good about the experience, or what could have been better. This is especially true if you plan on a follow up visit.

 

4. Again to echo funcoupledayton; get her off one more time, (or something to that effect).

Fingers, mouth, whatever… you might find yourself getting turned on again and be ready for whatever, either to play again to be excited to watch your spouse. We have been in an experience like that. Instead of the night being a normal one simultaneous session, it turned into five alternating sessions throughout the night. Each time the other two had a great time just touching and watching. (BTW this is the iconic night we both refer to when we ask ourselves “how can we tap into that kind of energy again?”)

[Paired4Life 15]

Thanks, guys. Great advice

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Do you have doubts while discussing the idea outside of sex? Are there concerns of jealousy on your part towards seeing your wife with another man?

[ariesleo420 15]

Just say look Bro you need to wrap this up. Serious. It goes along the line of everyone should be nearly at the same speed. There will be lots of times action gets stopped. We've had other guys equipment failures when I'm in balls deep and I have to stop. So if it happened to me I would give the signal to stop. Another thing is I do have lots of stamina and if you try to "show off" by banging away forever you will definitely not get a second chance pissing the other guy off.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Just say look Bro you need to wrap this up. Serious. It goes along the line of everyone should be nearly at the same speed. There will be lots of times action gets stopped. We've had other guys equipment failures when I'm in balls deep and I have to stop. So if it happened to me I would give the signal to stop. Another thing is I do have lots of stamina and if you try to "show off" by banging away forever you will definitely not get a second chance pissing the other guy off.

 

We've had lots of experience with couple swaps. If you don't have a flexible attitude you will not be successful. It is not possible to time it out so all four finish at the same time. I would not be happy if my husband or the other wife stopped things after they finished. That to me seems selfish.

 

Often my swing partner and I will finish first. Sometimes we'll relax and watch. Sometimes we'll have a drink and talk in another room. Sometimes we'll jump in and "help out" by touching or kissing our spouses (or for me the other girl) while they're playing. Sometimes we'll take a breath and start to play again ourselves.

 

It's not a contest or a race.

 

My husband does sometimes take a long time to come. I've had swing partners like this too. It's not showing off by any stretch of the imagination. It's usually just a distracting/over-stimulating situation, a different partner, etc.

[Coupleerotic22 1,419]

Just say look Bro you need to wrap this up. Serious. It goes along the line of everyone should be nearly at the same speed. There will be lots of times action gets stopped. We've had other guys equipment failures when I'm in balls deep and I have to stop. So if it happened to me I would give the signal to stop. Another thing is I do have lots of stamina and if you try to "show off" by banging away forever you will definitely not get a second chance pissing the other guy off.

 

Oh hell no.

 

If the other guy is going to long for my wife's comfort then she will bring him to a close, one way or another. But I don't stop them, unless something is wrong. But I am sure as hell not about to stop her fun.

 

Besides, as others have stated there are a good many things you can do to keep your play partners fun going without using your dick.

 

I will also add to what others have said.

 

You may find, like me, that you love watching you wife with another man, it is a huge turn on. That is the main reason I think I MFM's, I get to watch her without worrying about not satisfying someone else.

 

Use some caution doing this with a couple swap however. It is one thing to take a few minutes break after some very exhilarating sex for BOTH you AND your play partner too, but make sure her motor needs to idle as well and that you are not leaving her disappointed.

 

I also find that after watching my wife for a few minutes that I am "recharged" and ready to go go again, like I said before it is a huge turn on. I most cases I do not stop doing something with my play partner, either going down on her or using my fingers to pleasure her. If we both needed a break and things have stopped completely, when I am ready to go again I will ask if she is, the answer has almost always been a resounding yes.

 

Sometimes, however, my partner needs longer recharge or is done. Sometimes women get sore, or like my wife, need to come down from being on the edge. I never understood that until my wife got really good at getting me to that point. When it gets that intense continuing can be too much, not painful as much as an overload of the senses. So try to be very attuned to your partner and talk to her.

 

A couple more things.

 

I also find I usually do not cum as fast with a partner as I do with my wife. Sometimes it never happens. I am not sure why. I don't know if it is a mental block or what. But I don't let it bother me and use it to my advantage by playing longer with my partner. Again stay attuned to you partner so you know when enough is enough.

 

And finally, I take great pleasure in getting my partner off, even after I have cum. I love to go down on a women and look up and see her back arched and grabbing at the bed sheets or seeing the look of pleasure on her face. It is a turn on all in to itself. Unfortunately, too many guys, and much to the dismay of my wife, some guys guys don't get it. When they are done they are done. If there us still desire from a woman to be pleasured then do it. It is awesome and will get you many repeat visits.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

Just say look Bro you need to wrap this up. Serious. It goes along the line of everyone should be nearly at the same speed. There will be lots of times action gets stopped. We've had other guys equipment failures when I'm in balls deep and I have to stop. So if it happened to me I would give the signal to stop. Another thing is I do have lots of stamina and if you try to "show off" by banging away forever you will definitely not get a second chance pissing the other guy off.

 

There have been worse ideas, but this one definitely falls into the category of bad ones. I am quite literally going to hate you if I'm in any way a part of this. Plus, if you can't find a way to satisfy me if you have an equipment failure or finish first, then I'm going to feel badly about my taste in men.

[81lizard69 470]

Lets not forget the art of making love. I am going to say this.. Take your time from the beginning. esp if you are new to this. When I am with my wife I tend to forget the foreplay. I have become so good at making her come I do not have to work at foreplay. I have seen this many times when we swing and have learned from lovers that are way different from me. There are other techniques that I never thought of or naturally would not do. For example we have two couples that we have played with over the years. They are both wonderful people and great in the sack. Both couples are equally hot. They have great personalities and attributes. But they play differently. I like couple B best.

 

Couple A are like race horses copalating fast as they can, come and its all over. The wife will just grab me and try to make me cum. No real foreplay. Mr A will take his time a little in the beginning, but he is all about humping hard and coming strong. Yes I like this, he is fun to watch. Play time with them is exciting, but could be better.

 

Couple b are the take your time and lets do the sensual for play thing for a hour or two.. Its almost like a Tantric love session with them. The first time we played I came way early and watched as he made music with my wife, had her making noises I have never heard before. I really paid attention. He said Now its your turn with my wife. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to learn some love making skills that just were not humping and coming. I did what he did to his wife and it was more fun.

 

Learning to be a better lover, learning new things is what swinging is all about. Getting back to the basics being sensual watching and seeing what others do is like going to sex university and getting a PHD in love making. No one else really gets that outside of swinging. Swapping is not about bagging as many as you can. Its about learning and teaching what you have learned to some one else. There are not many places on the planet you can get this type of education.

 

Moving this subject and how it may apply to you is this. Swinging is a learning experience. I have learned something new from every couple we have played with. Sex skills are acquired and are not that intuitive. My personal sex skills are a muscle that needs to be practiced. Different exercises produce different results. Learning to be with the lover you are with, learning her cues is the fun part. Watching your partner be pleasured, seeing what they like is so freaking cool. Instead of feeling jealous or left out look over and be happy that she is having a good time. Notice how beautiful she is and think to yourself how lucky you are to have a woman that would share this experience with you.

 

Good luck with this. You will be just fine.

[ariesleo420 15]

I really don't think that is a bad idea. I think it is just different for everyone. I mean if you are in the LS for cuckold fantasies and like another man to put work in on your lady, what ever turns you on. I'm just saying what we all know is that yes there are some men in the LS for that but not all. Just as there are women that you will meet that are in the LS only because it's what their husbands want and it shows. I think is a big problem that we frequently run in to is that the male parts of LS couples are really passive and shy and it just turns my wife off. Then all the single guys are aggressive which she likes but we play as a couple, so that doesn't work either. I don't think I know what I'm trying to say but it probably needs a new thread.

[larry818 58]

This happens to us all the time. I just watch my wife for a bit, and a minute later I'm horny again.

 

We only know one guy that when he shoots, it's all over, he's done for the day. We never play with him.

[Paired4Life 15]

Do you have doubts while discussing the idea outside of sex? Are there concerns of jealousy on your part towards seeing your wife with another man?

 

To a degree, yes. Initially, the thought of swapping is incredibly erotic and a HUGE turn-on. We've talked about it over and over and we are both certain this will not create any negative effects in our marriage. Actually, from experiences with FFM threesomes, we believe it will have a wonderful effect. But, I tend to go the opposite direction of turned on after I cum. While the thought of watching her having sex and being excited turns me on more than I can say while I'm amped up, my concern is what emotions can I expect if I cum first and I'm no longer turned on? I know this sounds selfish but I'd like to be as prepared as possible by hearing from the more experienced.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

My guess is that if you are having that much of a change of Feelings just over the fantasy of it that the reality would be similar if not worse. You are likely to finish and then be focused on what she is doing and start feeling that jealousy increase. This will either lead you to end the play session (leaving her with hurt feelings while at the same time trying to calm you) or you will let he finish and hold in your feelings leading to resentment and regret.

 

My suggestion is to really do some serious introspection & think about why you may be having these feelings. What are you really afraid of? . From there you can start to work on dealing with them and face whether or not your fears have any real rusk of becoming reality.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

May I ask why you two started with FFM threesomes?

 

I think a lot of the above posts are great in terms of keeping the other wife satisfied and basically keeping yourself distracted from what may or may not be going through your mind when it comes to your wife having sex with the other husband.

 

As Julie suggested, introspection is recommended; however, for us, "what ifs" and hypotheticals only went so far before we both decided to jump into full swap to see how it was. And our first time was exactly the situation that you are wondering about. Mr. Sun had the other wife orgasm quite a lot and he finished as well. The other husband and I were still going. I remember Mr. Sun chatting with the other wife until we finished. Our first was same room and if you are looking into staying busy, you and the other wife can jump in and add more stimulation to your wife and the other husband.

 

But I think your main question isn't how to stay busy or distracted but what you will feel, how you can possibly deal with them if you feel negatively, and if the excitement of the experience will be overshadowed by the negative.

 

Obviously, everyone is unique and will feel differently about their first full swap/swing experience. All I can do is share with you our own personal thoughts after our first couple. For myself, during the swap, it was just sex. I wasn't jealous during because I was distracted. However, after returning home, I started to have comparison questions (was she better in bed, better kisser, better _______?). These were issues that I had to work out on my own. As I stated earlier, everyone is different thus the sexual experiences you have with one will--by definition--be different than any one else. Some might be better at some acts, others might not be as good, and some will be different--not good or bad. What kept me grounded was the knowledge that Mr. Sun comes home to me every night. He hasn't left me. He continues to desire to come home, have dinner, help with the children and household duties, and fall asleep next to me.

 

I don't know if this will help but I do look forward to hearing how things continue with you and your wife in this swing journey.

[Eddiem 139]

It is amazing... more fun watching her.

[Numex 2,416]

...

When we discuss trying a foursome it's exciting. Talking about it during sex is even more exciting but, after I ejaculate, some of the excitement wears off. I know this is to be expected. But, my concern is is this, if, during a foursome, I ejaculate first and the excitement wears off, what kind of emotions can I expect while waiting for my wife and her partner to finish? I know this sounds silly, but it's weighing on my mind. Do any of you have similar feelings, experiences or advice you can share with me here?

 

Thanks.

That's why when we have an MFM I like to go second. I don't have any negative feelings, just lose some interest. In MFMF, if they're still going at it, we (me and the other woman) just hang back and we start getting excited again.

[JessicaJamison 861]

So my first response is if you cum quick due to excitement the woman that gave you that intimate pleasure probably did not cum yet, and she deserves her own exciting orgasm, otherwise she will leave the experience saying that sucked, we are never fucking these two again.  So get out of your head and take care of the woman, personally I love being fingered, I love having my clit sucked, I love making out, and I love grinding.  So pick one or four and get to work, keep your attention honed in on the new woman that has agreed to be violated by you.  And yes, I know that is a harsh word but you have never taken the time to look at sex from our side, it is a hard thing to give up sometimes.  Agreeing to sex is not just giving up our personal space we are agreeing to let you be inside of us, and that is a vulnerable position for any woman.  So she deserves your full attention, cause she is giving you all she has.  If you are moping about what someone else is doing to your wife instead of being focused on this incredible woman that has agreed to spread her legs and let you be inside of her she will feel rejected and not sexy and thats not fair.  If you wanna feel like the stud then you should make us feel like a sexy vibrant woman that you can't take your eyes off.  And who knows you might even realize with all the sexy play and kissing that you got a round two in you.  Then who cares if your wife is still going at it cause so are you.  Good luck.