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Wife's Latest Fantasy - seeing husband with another man

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Hi Everyone,

 

My wife and I are fairly new to the swinging lifestyle. We had talked about if for a couple of years before actually trying it a little over a year ago. We thoroughly enjoy it now. We've had fun fulfilling each other's fantasies (one of which was seeing my wife with another woman - every guy's fantasy!).

 

Recently she brought up a new fantasy of hers that I wasn't all that comfortable with. Simply put, she wants to see me have sex with the man. I've never been interested in men and I've explained that to her. She tells me she'd never been interested in women either, but did it to fulfill my fantasy.

 

Now I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. We have a few good looking couples that we hook up with from time to time and out of fairness to my wife I've tried to imagine what it would be like going from his wife to him and I just can't see it happening.

 

What should I do? Have any of you other guys out there gotten that request from your wife? Or even tried it? I really enjoy swinging and don't want this to be what ends it. Do I need to just take the plunge and try it?

 

On one hand I have to consider fairness to my wife. On the other hand this is uncharted territory. In the few conversations we've had about it my answer has been "no way." But now I'm asking myself, "would it really be such a bad thing?"

 

Any advice from experienced swingers would be very welcome.

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My wife has the same fantasy. It started like this. We were talking about sex, about how I like it when she makes out with another woman. Its hot.. then she said its your turn. YIKES!! I knew what she meant. Its not a uncommon fantasy for women to have.. Bi sexuality in males is becoming more the norm. If you are willing to give it a try why the hell not. I am not ready to do that yet maybe someday just not today. Good luck tell us what happens.

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I can address that question/problem with our story.

 

Unlike you, my wife is bi and has no issue being with either sex and knows it's a turn on for me, whether it's another male or female.

 

We met a couple that are both bi and had them to dinner and a hot tub evening. The normal things happened. One fantasy of the new couple was to have their lady on the receiving end of a strap-on from my wife. No problem... I hadn't had the privilege of seeing that event before, but knew she (my wife) owned a strap-on. The next day, discussing how much fun it was, my wife said, "I'd like to see you with him". uh... uh oh... Realizing that my main objection was my own perceptions about two guys together, but in this scenario, everyone was bi, EXCEPT ME.

 

I told her I suppose it "could" happen, but I'm not sure how I'd even start. She suggested while we're all in a pile and she's giving him a BJ, I could fondle the other guy, see how I felt and play it by ear.

 

Fast forward two weeks and we're in the scene, hands everywhere, bodies intertwined, and my wife reached over and grabbed my hand and gently guided me to where she was, giving him a BJ. I reached out to feel his penis and realized it was almost indistinguishable from my own in size and shape, and in the dark, I could almost convince myself I was simply masturbating.

 

Her gentle urging continued, pulling my head down beside hers and then suddenly I feel his dick on my lips. I thought "oh what the hell, I'm the odd wheel in this group". and proceeded to play a bit, although not to completion, but certainly more than I would have ever guessed I would EVER do.

 

After that, things happened that caused a temporary rift in the relations between us and the other couple, although I believe it to be a temporary problem, we haven't seen that couple again, although we will again probably.

 

I've already decided "in for a dime, in for a dollar".

 

So, if/when we get together with them again, I have no doubt where it's going, and I'm both, a bit excited, and also thinking about the values (read that as JUDGEMENTS) I've had over the years.

 

With that said, after the deed, I may think, "ok, that's not for me", or I may think, "hmm, I wonder why I was so set in my own judgements that I've never even entertained the possibilities". I too have always been that "no way in hell" mode. Now it's more like "right time, right place, right people."

 

Go for it, enjoy and forget the demons in the back of your mind. Good luck.!

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Thanks man. I'm not sure if it'll ever happen. I don't have anything against bisexuals or gays, but It has never been my thing. We'd definitely have to discuss it with the other couples and see how they feel about it. I told my wife that I'm open to discussing it. Baby steps I guess. We're having one of the couples over this weekend and my wife said she'll bring it up.

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I've never been interested in men and I've explained that to her. She tells me she'd never been interested in women either, but did it to fulfill my fantasy.

 

One thing that I'm concerned about is how much you two balance the "fulfilling each other's fantasies" with how comfortable the person is in actually performing that fantasy. This is only something that you two can communicate and know about each other. Perhaps she was just as excited as you to explore playing with another woman. Or perhaps she detested the thought but went through with it to make you happy. Or perhaps a varying degree of this and that to place her in the middle of those scenarios. If she was only doing it to make you happy, was there pressure to do so? Or it could be possible that she was interested in exploring her sexuality, had her epiphany and now wants you to explore your own sexuality, for what ever reason.

 

I'm all for exploring sexuality but only when the person exploring it is comfortable and ready to take that step. In my humble opinion, I think the two of you need to discuss this more. I also think that you might want to consider doing some introspecting to see if your wife was truly exploring on her own accord or if she was doing so under some prodding. If you stay around long enough, you'll see many members say, "Some fantasies are best left as fantasies."

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Great point sunbuckus. I'll have to discuss it more with her if she felt any prodding for me. Of course I was excited about it but I really can't remember pressuring her to do anything. She did mention wanting to be open with her sexuality so I'm thinking being with another woman falls into that category. I've realized today that one of my concerns about having sexual interaction with another man (whatever that may be) is how I would feel about myself afterwards. Will that change who I am? Would that make me bi or something? I don't know. My wife and I are going to talk about this some more this evening. I'll keep you all posted.

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Don't look at it as a life changing event. You'll either find it interesting or not. Haven't you ever been so horny that you had sex with a gal you normally wouldn't have? If so, you know how, after you ejaculate, you wonder why you did it and just don't do it again. Hey, it's about the same thing with playing with another guy. But, who knows, you may want to do it again.

 

I would suggest though that you talk your wife into making it part of a threesome. You said that you enjoyed watching her with other women, well, do you also enjoy watching her with other men? If so, there's nothing hotter than a close-up view.

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I have that fantasy too, however I don't think ANYONE should do something JUST because it's someone else's fantasy. The question is WHY did she play with another woman? Was it strictly to fulfill your fantasy? If so, then honestly I have to say that's on HER. She made that choice. Now, if you were pressuring and pressuring her until she felt like she had to just do it there may be more to it. Unfortunately, we don't know your situation well enough to make that call. So, I'll just go with NO ONE should ever do something just to make someone else happy, especially if it's something they aren't comfortable with.

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LOL! Thanks ViSexual. Great point! Yes I have had sex with a few women I wouldn't normally have sex with. What can I say? Men are dogs. :-) But I hear you. Thinking about it that way puts a different spin on things in my own head.

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Thanks JustAskJulie. You're absolutely right. I'm trying to think back at our conversations to see if I indeed indirectly coerced her into doing it. I definitely didn't do it intentionally, but I know phrases like "it's every guy's fantasy" and "women do it all the time" may have been manipulative. I'll have to find out from her if she felt that way. I'll keep you posted.

 

And thanks again to all of you that have chimed in. I welcome more input so please keep them coming.

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Everyone....every couple who decides to open their relationship sexually and indulge in playfulness does it for their own individual reasons so assuming to know someone's reason(s) for doing it is a waste of mental energy. I just know that for us, encounters with others are part of us loving and caring for each other. We both love the touch and feel and the excitement of new lovers but, in the end, it all comes back to us and our relationship. We are both not only open to stretching our boundaries based on the fantasies and desires of each other, we seem to thrive on it. Whether your wife explored her sexuality with another woman solely for your benefit because she loves you and wants to please you or whether it was to fulfill her own curiosities albeit at your request seems to be unimportant. You asked and she did. Now she's ask and considering there can't possibly be any harm outside of your own comfort level my question would be, "Why not?".

 

I can tell you this, giving and receiving pleasure from another guy WILL NOT turn you gay or even bi. Whatever you choose to do with him (how much you choose to do) will be something you did not who you are. The two of you have sex with others but I'm betting that hasn't made either of you adulterers. Your wife has had sex with another woman but I'm betting that HAS NOT turned her irreversibly gay. Sadly most guys have been taught that even looking at another guy's cock aside from watching a porno makes them gay. What utter nonsense. Based on what I've read in your posts your wife loves you and respects you and she'll still love and respect you after you make her fantasy a reality only she'll probably appreciate you even more and feel safe and confident in the knowledge you love and trust her enough to step out of your comfort zone to please her.

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Whether your wife explored her sexuality with another woman solely for your benefit because she loves you and wants to please you or whether it was to fulfill her own curiosities albeit at your request seems to be unimportant.

 

I have to respectfully disagree. It is important because if she felt forced, it could lead to a reason why she is asking for M/M play. This is why communication is very important. One shouldn't assume or think that they know what is going on in their partner's head. They should know by asking and having clear, honest communication. If she didn't feel coerced then perhaps it really is a fantasy or a desire for her husband to expand his sexual horizons. Which ever way that it is, more communication should be had between the husband and wife. There has to be a loving respect between partners to accept that even though they have a certain fantasy that involves their significant other, it may never happen because of their partner's comfort zone or willingness. Would you feel the same way if one partner wanted to engage in scat play while the other didn't? Besides, the reality of a fantasy can only truly be satisfying for everyone involved if everyone is open and willing to go there. Pushing one partner to do something that they aren't comfortable with will more than likely result in a disastrous experience.

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LOL. "Scat play."

 

I had a long discussion with my wife earlier today and she came to the conclusion that she didn't feel forced at all, but that my comments about how women do it all the time and what a big fantasy it is for men is the reason she decided to give it a try. That was manipulative on my part, although I didn't see it at the time. However, she said she enjoyed expanding her sexual boundaries and encouraged me to do the same and that sex with another woman was simply sexual fun. We had a date night tonight with another couple that I feel very comfortable with sexually. Before we started anything sexual we had a discussion with the couple about my wife's fantasy. They didn't even flinch as my wife described what she wanted to see. Both of them were open to the idea, which made me a little more at ease. We had a lot of fun, but as far as he and I got was mutual hand jobs. It wasn't all that bad and after we came we just laughed. We are going over to their place tomorrow. I'm a little more OK with taking it a little further. Stay tuned...

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I just want to be clear...what exactly is her fantasy in terms of seeing you with another man? is it full intercourse? would a bj satisfy her fantasy? or a handjob? The reason I ask is that my husband and I belong to a club where both male and female are bi's. Frequently there are husbands who are simply bi-curious. And many times, in the middle of sex, they have no problems giving a handjob to another guy even though they were apprehensive at first, quite like what junglecouple described. I agree with what Sunbuckus said, but reading your first post and the last, it seems you thought you definitely would not do anything sexual with a guy but you weren't as uncomfortable as you initially thought when you and he got the handjobs. So I am thinking if there is a middle ground where it would open you up a bit, assuming you are ok with it, and satisfying her fantasy at the same time.

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I have been a straight male forever. We started swinging late in life. We have had many couples encounters and one evening we saw the husband of one of those couples. The wife was away and fast forwarding the three of us ended up at his home. Not a problem. My wife has always enjoyed the mfm fantasy. As the evening progressed my wife encouraged us to enjoy each other. She took my hand and lead my down the path to my first bi experience. It happened quickly and I didn't give it much thought. She just sat back and pleasured herself as she watched. Afterwards I gave it no thought and my wife said it was a tremendous turn on for her. I still don't consider myself bi.... But not sure I would pass it up if it happened again. The other guy was comfortable with what happened and his wife has kiddingly told us she was jealous because she missed the fun. Best advice is to follow your instincts.

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On one hand I have to consider fairness to my wife. On the other hand this is uncharted territory. In the few conversations we've had about it my answer has been "no way." But now I'm asking myself, "would it really be such a bad thing?" Any advice from experienced swingers would be very welcome.

 

This is one of those things you can't really count on other people to help you out on. There are places I wouldn't go sexually, even if a partner wanted me to badly, and others I would do for their sake. You need to decide if this is a place YOU are willing to go for them.

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I have been a straight male forever. We started swinging late in life. We have had many couples encounters and one evening we saw the husband of one of those couples. The wife was away and fast forwarding the three of us ended up at his home. Not a problem. My wife has always enjoyed the mfm fantasy. As the evening progressed my wife encouraged us to enjoy each other. She took my hand and lead my down the path to my first bi experience. It happened quickly and I didn't give it much thought. She just sat back and pleasured herself as she watched. Afterwards I gave it no thought and my wife said it was a tremendous turn on for her. I still don't consider myself bi.... But not sure I would pass it up if it happened again. The other guy was comfortable with what happened and his wife has kiddingly told us she was jealous because she missed the fun. Best advice is to follow your instincts.

 

Jobillie, If I read this right your wife enjoyed the experience, the husband of a couple the two of you had sex with in the past enjoyed it, AND, by your account, you enjoyed it too. Again, if I read this correctly, it seems that the only issue you are challenged with is over which title you'll allow society at large to hang around your neck. Not to make light of your concern because I know it is very real but, if you sat in a garage, would that make you a car; if you climbed a tree, would that make you a monkey?

 

I didn't read that after the encounter you now find yourself checking out a guy's ass when you pass in the mall or thinking about how hot it would be to kiss him. You and your wife enjoyed it when you behaved for a short period of time LIKE a bisexual. If you pic up a toy gun and chase a kid around the house yelling for him to stop in the name of the law you are acting like a police officer for a short period of time. I think we call that play not a change of identity. My recommendation is, if you and your wife enjoyed the time you played like a bisexual for a short period of time, do it again, enjoy the hell out of it, and forget about what you were taught all your life is and is not acceptable behavior.

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Great point love2playwithu69. That was the conclusion I came through discussing this with my wife. After we had our handjob experience both us guys were comfortable enough with ourselves to laugh at it. He and I indirectly said we'd be open to exploring more in a "let's just see where it leads" manner. The next time the couple came over we did our usual wife swapping on our bed and our wives began kissing each other, which eventually lead to them two in a 69. The husband and I looked glanced at each other and shrugged and then went down on me. I returned the favor, but I had to admit, having a penis in my mouth was an odd experience. Not bad, just odd. We ended up in 69 for a while and my wife was loving it. After we were done I didn't give it any more thought. I don't feel that I'm a bisexual now. I just feel like I had a bisexual experience. And the "taboo" (for lack of a better word) part of it was a huge turn on for me. I don't know if it will go any further than blow jobs now, but I didn't think it would ever get this far to begin with...so you never know. I'll let y'all know it it does.

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LOL. "Scat play."

 

I had a long discussion with my wife earlier today and she came to the conclusion that she didn't feel forced at all, but that my comments about how women do it all the time and what a big fantasy it is for men is the reason she decided to give it a try. That was manipulative on my part, although I didn't see it at the time. However, she said she enjoyed expanding her sexual boundaries and encouraged me to do the same and that sex with another woman was simply sexual fun. We had a date night tonight with another couple that I feel very comfortable with sexually. Before we started anything sexual we had a discussion with the couple about my wife's fantasy. They didn't even flinch as my wife described what she wanted to see. Both of them were open to the idea, which made me a little more at ease. We had a lot of fun, but as far as he and I got was mutual hand jobs. It wasn't all that bad and after we came we just laughed. We are going over to their place tomorrow. I'm a little more OK with taking it a little further. Stay tuned...

Thank you for saying this.

 

This is exactly what I thought when I first read it, I think I was too chicken to take it in that direction. From the beginning, I read “doing it to fulfill my fantasies” as doing it to explore.

 

I simply transposed our experiences into your information, and we have done a lot of things at each others request, and even if it turns out less than what the other had hoped for, it was done in the name of exploration.

 

That is how so many of these things we thought would be hot turn out as “meh” and even more common, is seeing the things we never expected or thought of to be super hot!:)

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Dear lov2play,

I think we are on the same page. For me the experience was no big deal. I have always believed sexuality is very fluid and opportunistic driven. I enjoyed the whole experience and it was a huge turn on knowing my wife was loving it. I grew up rather conservatively and ten years I never thought I would be into the lifestyle. I feel the whole experience is part of life's journey. No labels, no remorse.

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My husband has always enjoyed "playing" with his cum or another guys cum after cumming in or on me. He loves "cleaning up" and I have told him it would be a turn on for me to actually watch him give another guy a blow job. My husband has, on a few occasions held another guys cock while I was moving up and down on it, he likes when his cock is directly in contact with another when I have them both in one hand, but he remains reluctant to actually put another guys cock into his mouth. Go Figure!

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Ha! Joaninia, I know the feeling. I finally put a guys cock in my mouth the second time we hooked up with a couple. First time was handjobs only. Sucking a cock isn't as bad as I though it would be, although the first time was awkward. The following time the flow was much easier because I wasn't hung up on it. I even let him cum in my mouth. I've come a long way in a month! LOL

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      As he did before, I got right behind him and let my wife do her thing. She wet her finger well with her own pussy juice and our cum, and worked it into his ass while she sucked me to get me ready. I decided I’d better also lube up with something better than spit so I put me dick in her and pumped several times til I was nice and wet with our combined fluids.
       
      Then I got back behind him and for the first time ever, put my cock on a guy's asshole. I rubbed it around and watched as his butt pulsed waiting to be speared, to be fucked. After he was noticeably aroused from my playing with his ass and my wife sucking his cock, I started pushing in. He knew what to do and relaxed and pushed back allowing me to easily go balls deep in two short strokes. I was amazed how tight he was. I guess no reason not to be tight, but I hadn’t had any expectations beforehand of what to expect, but it was hot.
       
      My wife was licking my balls as I slid in and out of him. She took turns sucking him and then my balls, and him again, so as not to push us over the edge. She kept him right on the edge for a while. It felt like an hour but was actually only 10 minutes or so.
       
      Eventually he started moaning and saying he was going to cum. The moment I was waiting for, to feel his ass contracting around my cock as I sprayed him with my cum, was about to take place.
       
      And just like had happened to me, he started to cum and howl as he shot his cum in my wife’s mouth and down her throat while I was fucking his ass.
       
      I was getting ready to cum right behind him when I felt my wife put her finger in my ass and that sent me over the edge. I started to cum so hard I felt my cock was about to explode. The feeling of fucking him, my wife’s finger up my ass, his ass contracting around my cock, was absolutely insane. I kept fucking him slowly now until my dick went completely soft. I fell on the bed about to pass out but my wife said, “You better go rinse off before you fall asleep.”
       
      I of course did, and when I returned they were both asleep. They were spooning and out for the count. It was hot to watch my wife asleep naked in a spooning position with another guy.
       
      I got in bed and crashed myself. At some point during the night I woke up to my wife holding me and stroking me. I opened my eyes and she was getting fucked from behind by our friend. It was soft and slow and she needed a little help so I scooted over and let her use my cock to rub on her clit. She came a minute or two later which triggered his.
       
      They stayed connected for a bit until he fell out of her. She then turned around and gave me access to fuck her which I also did very slowly. He helped her by rubbing her clit with his tongue. She was sore and sensitive, so she told him she was fine and fucked out. She was all out of orgasms and this was just about giving me her pussy to use in order to cum and fill her up.
       
      And I did use her pussy, and I did get off. Took my time but she didn’t rush me and she enjoyed it. She was just out of orgasms. But like all good things, that too had to come to an end and it did. I tensed up, and unloaded everything I had into my wife and stayed in her.
       
      He asked if he could spoon with her again as he loved the feeling. She said it was my turn now to hold her. After such a long night, she now needed to feel reassured and held by her husband. We passed out.
       
      In the morning I was hard as a rock when I woke up, I felt my cock between her ass checks and instinctively starting rocking back and forth. As I went to grab her it was him. I opened my eyes and she wasn’t there and I was spooning with my friend. Weird!! Even after the night we had.
       
      I moved back and turned around. A few minutes later she came back into the room. She had gotten up to pee and was back. I told her what happened and she laughed. She said she was surprised how much cum came out of her when she peed.
       
      I told her I’d be happy to get her filled back up and laughed. She said we could do one round each because she did want to get things done that day. I said, "Each”? And she smiled and said she didn’t think it would be fair to have a naked man next to her who she fucked, sucked, and shared cum with all night and only let him watch.
       
      With that we laughed and he woke up. We both had a good one on one session with her. Taking our time and having one good hard cum with her apiece. She also had one good cum with each of us.
       
      After that we all got up and did our thing and left the club and went back to our house a few minutes away to hangout. She went out and did errands, we hung out and talked about the night before and this morning. Said how we had entered new territory sexually but how hot it had been. We even talked about how we had even kissed and played together while my wife was in the shower. We both said it had been hot, and low and behold, we started kissing again. We ended up naked in 69 and licked and sucked each other until we both came, timing it almost perfect.
       
      We later got dressed and resumed watching tv. Sometime later he left as my wife was pulling up the driveway. He helped her with some bags and went on his way. She asked what did we do while she was out? I told her we talked about last night and this morning and ended up kissing and finishing in 69 until we came.
       
      She said, "Hope you’re still horny," because she was. I told her yes and we fucked right there on the couch.
       
      After that day we stayed aroused for weeks, where we probably had sex once or twice a day, sometimes even three.
       
      That’s our thing. We invite others for the fun and experience, but also because it lights us on fire for a while.
       
      We continued to play with our friend for many years until he got married. We gave him his own private threesome bachelor party, and played a couple of times a year even while he was married. Me and him would also trade bj's a couple of times a week when we got together for drinks or he stopped by to visit. My wife suspected we did. I told her and she was fine with it. She only wanted to make sure no fucking unless she was there to watch and participate. That we saved for once a year which we all absolutely loved.
       
      To this day, that night remains one of the hottest ever. And we still want a repeat of those threesomes. We have played with others. Some couples, a few women, and she’s fucked a total of 37 men including him, who was her first after being a virgin when we got married. So we always refer to him as taking her marital virginity.
       
      A few years later we moved states and didn’t see him for 10 years, until one day he called to say he would be in town for business and to meet up for drinks. I met him and after a few hours he asked how come your wife didn’t come out? I told him he had made it sound as if it was just us having a few drinks. He asked if I could call her and have her come out? I told him that if he wanted her, he should call her.
       
      He did, they talked. She kept saying it’s too late, it was 10 pm and that if he was horny the two of us should play like so many times in the past. He kept at it until they hung up.
       
      I asked what she said. He told me that she kept saying for us to play that it was too late. So I said, "Well I’m up for it if you are." He said, "Yes, let’s go to my room and get started. Your wife is on her way and wants us naked in 69 when she walks in."
       
      He left a key for her with the lobby front desk and we went to his room. After maybe 20 minutes or so she walks in and says, “That’s so fucking hot. You don’t know how much I’ve missed that.”
       
      She got naked and joined us. We fucked her that night in every possible combination. Sucked each other. Fucklicked her and ate creampies, and yes, we fucked each other twice that night.
       
      That was exactly one year ago. He will be in town next month and we are looking forward to a repeat.
       
      Hope you enjoyed this story. It’s 100% true.
    • By Juan234
      Sue and Tom got it on.  He had her over the edge of the bed. His mind drifted into a wife swap scenario.  That got him harder. His wife started to orgasm as he held her down by the shoulder blades.
       
      Even as her spasms subsided, his thoughts kept going to another man having his wife.  Thrusting into her. He was living vicariously himself as he imagined his wife fucking anyone just for the raw pleasure of a horny fuck. So raw, so animalistic, so unavoidable.  Another man’s cock just to make her feel more like a woman, more feminine, wetter, more relaxed, more hypnotized for cock.
       
      Now he visualized another wife watching passively next to him as they both just observed as their spouses fucked each other like masters.  That made his back tingle with goosebumps, the prickly hair stimulating his whole body.  
       
      Now back from his fantasy it was he that plunged into his auburn-haired wife, her butt naturally swinging back in perfect frequency to his thrusts.  She loved it. Being taken.  He could tell. Now he could not slow down.  With a few more deep strokes his nuts contracted and shot as deep as he could make his pumped lightning go, repeatedly,  just the way she liked it, rough, hard, and animalistic, delivering his seed.  
       
      IF YOU WANT PART TWO, THE CHAT, LET ME KNOW. 
       
       
    • By kc081878
      My wife and I are 42, married 19 years. We are not in the lifestyle. She has 1 rule... No anal. Otherwise she is game for whatever I come up with. Not much else is off limits. Toys, Role play, sex swing, BDSM, simulated MFM/Gangbangs, sex machine, etc. 
       
      Although we have done some pretty involved and creative role play/simulations... she says she can't imagine doing the above with others for real. If I'm honest, the reality would be a big step for me as well. Yet, I tell her I'm not opposed either.
       
      I have found that my fetish is whatever makes her aroused in new ways. I love the nuances of her sounds and how her body responds to a new sensation. 
       
      She says she is perfectly happy with our dynamic. I create the scene and surprise her. I even find myself sounding silly for writing this as if it were a problem. 
       
      We are tremendously transparent, collaborative and vocal about every aspect of our lives. But when it comes to discussing fantasies, likes/dislikes, collaborating on role play, etc... my wife shuts down or becomes flippant or gets a "how soon can we get this talk over with?" type vibe. She will say,"I just don't have anything to say." 
       
      I don't press her to share more than she wants and there are probably way more layers than can be addressed here. 
       
      So I suppose my question is...
       
      Are there couples that have experienced a similar dynamic in their journey and how/in what ways were they able to be more expressive?
       
    • By funcoupledayton
      I'm starting this thread in response to one in the curious section where the author felt a little bad because his wife wasn't sharing all her fantasies with him. He said he knows they are not ready for swinging, in part, because of this.
       
      Well, here I am, swinging with my husband for 3 years, and it's gone very well. But, I still have a private fantasy place I go to (in my mind). I tell my husband things I want to try, we talk all the time about what we like about swinging sex and our sex. But, when he watches me touch myself and then says, "What were you thinking about?" I won't tell him.
       
      I don't lie, sometimes I tell him generalities. It's not about a specific person or people, it's not anything that really could or would happen in real life. It's not anything I want to try, I just find it hot to think about. But, I would be embarrassed to tell anyone, and it would make it less hot for me if he knew about it. In a way, I like not telling him, I like having a little corner of my mind that's all mine. On the other hand I feel a little guilty, because it's really not a big deal and he would like me to tell him these fantasies in great detail and would probably find them hot, too.
       
      But, believe me, I have told him (and many of you also) all kinds of silly fantasies, because I have a ton!
       
      What do you think? Do you tell your spouse everything you think about to get off?
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