I wont go bareback and that's a deal breaker

[johnstarx5 61]

So I met this couple on-line. We connected and decided to meet.

 

So I get a message from them Do you play bare back? We are D and D free.

 

My response was "Sorry but I never play bare back. Just a safety thing for me."

 

They responded back she would prefer no condom makes her sore.

 

I cannot respond to the sore thing. Anybody help me there?

 

But what I do now is there is no way I will play bare back and I will not compromise on that ever. Maybe they are D and D free but how would I know that.

 

Any comment/experiences?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

"I don't think we'll be compatible then. Best of luck to the two of you".

 

That will wrap it up.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Some women of my acquaintance suffer irritation from condom use -- typical reason, allergic reaction to latex. Getting around the latex thing is easy as there are other condom materials. But I'll tell you this; you should not pull back from your no-glove-no-love rule. If it is just a latex thing with this woman, she would have been aware already of the alternatives.

[oc1234 435]

I don't know if this is really the case, but I heard that one reason female porn actors in California did not want to be forced to use condoms is that they did make them sore. If that is true, I'm still not sure it would apply to swinging where you don't spend a whole day having rough intercourse like porn actors do.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

I don't think it makes any real difference why condoms make her sore, although I wonder if she has a sensitivity to latex. It's certainly no longer a problem for me since we switched to non-latex condoms.

 

In any case, if there's no way you will play without a condom, just tell them that. There are other couples out there as responsible about their sexual health and safety as you are, so it's not like this is your one and only chance.

[Chicup 42]

I also wouldn't go bareback for another reason.

 

I already am a father, I really don't want a surprise.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

In regards to soreness, could it be a problem with proper lubrication for her?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . In any case, if there's no way you will play without a condom, just tell them that. There are other couples out there as responsible about their sexual health and safety as you are, so it's not like this is your one and only chance.

 

This I would also recommend.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

just relay back to them that you are not compatible then, wish them luck, and move on to the next.

 

My first thought too is latex sensitivity, but as others have said, it seems like by now she would have figured that out and discovered there are non-latex condoms. I guess insisting on bareback could be considered a solution too, but it certainly doesn't seem like the best one when there are other options. First for the obvious reasons, second that it will limit their partner pool, as they are finding out.

[LFM2 1,482]

I would thank them for their interest and hope them luck in the future.

 

I wouldn't change the way I do things unless *you* want to change the ways you do things. Condoms are very important pieces of equipment in our world.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I agree with everything that has been said here, but wanted to let you know that there are plenty of great couples who only play with condoms. Personally, I look for guys who aren't looking for bareback play.

[ref2018 29]

I agree with the general consensus, which is "don't do anything you don't want to do", but I have to say, I'm a little floored by why you'd even need to ask the question in the first place, since you answered it yourself in the topic field as a "deal breaker". When I think of a "deal breaker", it's something that is non-negotiable. It doesn't matter "why" the other people want bareback, nor should you feel compelled to "respond to the sore thing" at all - never mind "how".

[confused12524 201]

Simple. Thank you but we're not compatible.

That's all

 

The want to play bb. The reason is irrelevant. that's their choice.

You don't want to play that way. So move to the next.

[MrsPandMe 150]

Best advice is already given. Thanks for writing, but I just don't think we're a good match.

 

If condoms make her sore, he's doing it wrong. Proper condom usage involves lubrication. Gotta do it, boys. Those things dry out faster then a worm on a Las Vegas highway.

[Chicup 42]

Don't mess with a girl who insists on going bear back.

 

[johnstarx5 61]

For all those who posted, I want to thank you:)

 

I never doubted I did the right thing but I was flabbergasted (and I still am) that someone would want an unknown guy (that would have been me) cum inside them unprotected.

 

just saying

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I never doubted I did the right thing but I was flabbergasted (and I still am) that someone would want an unknown guy (that would have been me) cum inside them unprotected.

 

 

I think some couples or women might find the idea/risk itself arousing. Others might not be aware of the risk. And then there's the group that is aware of the risk but feel that the benefits to them outweigh the risk. I'm sure I've missed other sub-groups but those are the ones that came to mind.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . I never doubted I did the right thing but I was flabbergasted (and I still am) that someone would want an unknown guy (that would have been me) cum inside them unprotected. . .

 

Maybe she wanted to have your baby.

[ref2018 29]

Maybe she wanted to have your baby.

 

 

haha that crossed my mind just as your post scrolled onto the screen.

[IEcouple 222]

I don't know if this is really the case, but I heard that one reason female porn actors in California did not want to be forced to use condoms is that they did make them sore. If that is true, I'm still not sure it would apply to swinging where you don't spend a whole day having rough intercourse like porn actors do.

 

In the short term, it's more understandable for porn actresses though. Some of those shoots can last for many hours, way longer (and with less natural lubrication) than "real" sex would be. That kind of chafing probably makes them more susceptible to infections than thru otherwise would be.

[carebear 90]

Could also be a cream pie thing...

[M1F2KTJ 473]

 

They responded back she would prefer no condom makes her sore.

 

I cannot respond to the sore thing. Anybody help me there?

 

Condoms makes her sore? Very unusual and I would pass on this couple.

 

But what I do now is there is no way I will play bare back and I will not compromise on that ever. Maybe they are D and D free but how would I know that.

 

Any comment/experiences?

 

You never know with anyone. Play to your comfort level.

[libertymoon 25]

We recently heard this from a couple. They said, "Condoms make her itchy and sore." Not to mention how condoms are a turn-off to them. We asked if it was a latex problem (we only use non-latex condoms whether or not there is a latex allergy) but didn't get a straight answer. I am curious as to whether condoms do make some women sore or if it's just an excuse/reason to play bareback.

[SwingSetWife 444]

The itchy and sore thing (if not a latex allergy) sounds like a simple lack of lube to me....?

[junglecouple 128]

quite simple.. while not everyone's cup o' tea, some people simply prefer to bareback some don't.. Safety issues aside (as if that's a minor matter), anyone that says it feels the same with or with a cover, either is lying, or is numb.. LOL

We always play covered until we've known someone long enough to have reason to believe they are safe. Often we don't know them that long.

[Wildthingplus 47]

Condoms make me very sore. Latex are worse but they all make me sore. Therefore, I won’t play if condoms are used. My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for 15 years and have not had any problems. That being said, you have to make your decisions based on your comfort level. There are plenty of opportunities for those who use condoms and those who don’t.