Clubs and swinging while on your period

[Guest nakedjäger]

So I have a dilemma. I'm almost positive I'm about to start my period and we had planned on going out to the swingers club on Saturday night. We play separately there if we want to, and I'd like to think that I would be ok letting him play even though I can't, but I'm afraid I might end up being resentful. Selfish, I know...but I'm just honest. So...any advice would be great.

[Emily & Art 19]

The answer to that question depends on what rules you as a couple have established. For me and my sweetie this would be a non starter since we only play same room.

 

Since you two play separately maybe what you need to do is tell your hubby that you'll go for the social aspects, that he can play but when you get home he'd better have saved enough energy to fuck you senseless.

 

Just one possible answer

[SW_PA_Couple 4,027]

I see that you are a new member so, first of all, I want to welcome you to The Swingersboard.

 

This seems not so much a question about Aunt Flo as much as it is a question about you and your husband going separate ways at a swingers' club. And I have no advice for you about that. Have you and your husband had separate activity on the past? If so, what did you feel on those occasions and would a club setting be different?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Welcome to the Board!

 

I think your honesty is to be commended, and within lies the answer. If you feel like you may be resentful, then probably best to just plan on making it a night for socializing. Avoiding things that you feel in your gut are likely to be a problem is always better than flirting with them with the hope that it will be ok. Since there will be other times, why push it this time would be my approach.

[Guest nakedjäger]

Thank you, everyone. I think that's probably going to be the best approach. He's very considerate and completely understands.

[Guest nakedjäger]

Yes, we play separately there for the mostpart and I have no problems with it at all. I just don't know how it would feel to not get to participate knowing that he was. It's interesting you brought the question up about playing separately because what I've learned so far from my out of state and out of town friends is that playing separately is not exactly the norm in most clubs or areas. Here, I'd say that around 75% of the people that go to the club play separately. Our deal is that it's close to impossible to find a couple that we both click with and are both attracted to. Not trying to be an ass when I say this because I'm honestly not vain, but him and I are an evenly matched couple as far as physical attractiveness goes and in most cases if we were to hook up together with another couple, more times than not, one of us would be taking one for the team and I'm not ok with that. So, it's easier for us to play separately.

[tallicafan 41]

We have had that pop up too as I'm sure everybody here has. The Mrs. will sometimes use the "Instead Cup" if her flow is on the lighter side of things. It has worked for her. Not perfect mind you, but better than having to sit out when everything else is all lined up. There are several threads on here about this nifty invention.

[angelkin 1,326]

Why not go and enjoy yourself anyway...there's lots of things you can do without penetrative sex, and who knows - you might find a guy that doesn't mind your visit.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

While I agree with angelkin, I imagine you have a reason to be worried about being resentful, I'd suggest postponing your visit to the club. There are other weekends and in the meantime you and your partner can have some conversations about your feelings and concerns.

[asncpl 730]

Why not go and enjoy yourself anyway...there's lots of things you can do without penetrative sex, and who knows - you might find a guy that doesn't mind your visit.

 

I know a few guys (including my husband) who don't mind my monthly visitor so I play with them even if it's that time. Going to club may be a bit different since you don't know who you will meet. It depends on how comfortable you are with it.

 

The other part of your question is really about jealousy and other issues that come up when only one half of the couple goes out to play, whether it's because you have aunt flo or one of you can't go for whatever reasons. You probably should talk to your man about your feelings. For now, if you think you will feel resentful and jealous, it's best to hold off until you two can go together.

[beardedone 50]

If Flo is there and inhibiting anyone, pure oral is always a choice for the moment. However, it is an added complication for your first time. Decide accordingly.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Common theme in my posts but love isn't tit-for tat and emotions aren't right or wrong, they just are and as a loving spouse we have to accept them and work with them.

 

Besides, I'm just as happy with a nice night out alone together.

[couplers 4,781]

First, our regular three guys would have sex with us during our periods if we wanted. But now both Clair and I are on oral contraceptives where we don't get periods but twice a year, the way that we use them. Seasonale and Seasonique are two examples, but you can do-it-yourself with regular o/c s by only taking the active pills. It may seem "unnatural," but in the good old days women didn't have many periods; they were either pregnant or lactating from the time of puberty until menopause.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

couplers said:

But now both Clair and I are on oral contraceptives where we don't get periods but twice a year, the way that we use them. Seasonale and Seasonique are two examples, but you can do-it-yourself with regular o/c s by only taking the active pills....

 

For some reason, there was something about your post that reminded me of the Annuale commercial.

[JustAskJulie 2,596]

Stay home and enjoy a night of quality time together.

 

Of course, there are still options to play. There's the menstrual cups (used to be called Instead, but I don't know the brand name anymore). You buy them in the same section of the drug store as tampons and pads. They fit up inside of you and catch the blood, but you can still have sex with them in and no one is the wiser (unless he's huge and notices he's running into something that feels weird).

 

But, generally, my feeling is when it doubt, sit it out.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

My hubby and I decided if we both can't play then we don't, it would be home or just a social trip. I'm glad your husband is understanding and you two are on the same page.

[Sensualbicouple 122]

My feeling on it is this; if its that time of the month, I tell playmates before anything happens. Most will not play once this fact is known. However it does not stop hubby playing with me. And surprisingly enough, men dont care either. In fact a couple we know, the guy loves it, considers it quite erotic since his wife does not get her monthly all that often. Hope I have not grossed you guys out too much. :-)

[MxCouple87 21]

We had this happen to us a few weeks ago, I was fine with playing, let the hubby have fun, have a full swap, I just kissed, and did oral, played around, it was after it was all said and done the emotions set in on the way home, and I was very upset.... lesson learned, we will always both play, or no one plays from now on